Buffalo Wild Wings

[angus]

The boy and I cycled to the public library after swimming a bit this morning, arriving about 11:45 AM.  We were hungry and about 3.5 miles from home so I said I'd buy us something in this neighborhood.  Lots of choices in a ten-block radius.  Chinese, Vietnamese, pizza, Chipotle, Tom+Chee, burgers, Buffalo Wild Wings, etc.  He wanted Buffalo Wild Wings.  I asked, "are you sure?" and he was quite sure.  He's been wanting to go there for some time.  We'd never been there so I didn't know what to expect.  There's no bicycle rack so we locked up to a bench in the front.  As soon as we entered we were hit with a very high noise level.  A referee's voice and crowds cheering.  It was a football game:  Michigan State at Eastern Michigan.  (Spartans winning 49-0 at the moment.)  But that wasn't all.  There were at least 15 big screen televisions mounted on the wall.  Luckily only one had the volume turned up.  There was college football, soccer, auto racing, and some other stuff.  An epileptic's nightmare.  Not only that, they give each person a little tablet computer on which you can play videogames or Texas Hold 'Em while awaiting the arrival of your food.  It's definitely an unusual ambiance, and an acquired taste.  After a few minutes, I think I managed to acquire it.  Or at least enough of it to tune out the speakers blaring above our heads.  Although I couldn't help being mesmerized the constant barrage of video from all directions.

The serving wench came and I ordered a Caribbean Jerk Chicken sandwich (comes with fries) and a 22-ounce Dogfish IPA.  The boy ordered peppercorn popcorn chicken (comes with fries) and a mango lemonade.  We also had a bucket of onion rings with some smoky, creamy, spicy orange-colored sauce.  Heavy, greasy food.  I got most of the way through mine.  He got about a quarter of the way through his.  The bill came to $35.81.  Upon receiving the check, I left 40 dollars on the table and quickly headed to the john for a giant, bowl-staining, gut-wrenching dump, but not before spending about three minutes washing the oil off my hands and fingers.  My gut is really cramped right now, even after that huge movement.  I knew we couldn't handle the 3.5-mile ride home immediately, so I unlocked our bicycles and we headed to the library.  We're going to hang out here at the library for a while.  Being that it's International Peace Day (who knew?), the kids are making Peace Pinwheels and there will be Rainbow Loom Bracelets starting in a couple of minutes.  That'll keep the boy busy.  I may just take a nap.  That beer alone was probably about a thousand calories, and my eyelids are droopy.  I think I'll grab a fat, boring nonfiction book to help put me to sleep.  There's a huge volume entitled "The Decline and Fall of the British Empire 1781-1997" just to my right.  That should do it.  

The serving wench gave us a little box to put the remainder (the majority) of his shrimp in before we left, which I deposited in the fridge in the breakroom at the public library.  If I remember to snag it on the way out, and if it doesn't go nasty on the ride home, I'll probably finish that later.

I can't imagine ever eating there again under any circumstances.  

[angus]

Never did crack that heavy book.  I took it off the shelf and lugged it around to the Rainbow Loom room, then to a sofa where I sat it down beside me, and then grabbed it and headed toward the men's room, but the sign on the door reminded me that "NO BOOKS OR OTHER LIBRARY MATERIALS ALLOWED IN THE REST ROOMS UNLESS THEY HAVE BEEN CHECKED OUT."  Presumably they understand that once people take them home they read them on the throne.  Then I forgot all about the book.  

The ride home was a slow one.  We cut through the golf course and dodged balls and carts.  Got screamed at by a few golfers.  Probably cut half a mile off the journey that way.  

The shrimp survived.  I gave it to my wife and she put it in the toaster oven for a few minutes and ate it.  She said that she liked it.  

I'm still bloated from lunch, so it'll be light dinner tonight.  To Fu and bokchoy in garlic.  I don't even think I'd enjoy a touch of the grape tonight.  Probably just have a martini or two.  

Maybe we'll try Chipotle Grill next time we're in that neighborhood.

[angus]

We were out of bokchoy, so it was broccoli instead.  And pork, thai chilis, jalapenos from my garden, and green onions were all introduced to the To Fu.  Mmmmmm.

Can't stomach a "touch of the grape?"  Who am I kidding?  I had no trouble finishing a bottle of Hayes Cabernet.  Well, nearly finishing.  By the time I retire, I'm sure it'll be history.  And so will the olives at the bottom of the martini which I'm sure will follow that last glass.

Anyway, I can no longer detect any taste of the Buffalo Wild Wings experience in my mouth.  I suppose I could have brushed my teeth, but a home-cooked meal and a bottle of savory red wine is a much more satisfying way to dispense with the flavor of my lunch. 

Anyway, I'm going to go with option 3 on this one.  It's probably not, to use waltermitty-speak, a horrible restaurant (HR), but it's not an experience I want to repeat any time soon.  If I ever find myself herded into a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant in the future, I may just take the wise advice offered by DemPGH and go for a large chicken salad.  I'm sure my evacuation will be just as spectacular and as well-turned as it was following the meal I ate today, but probably it will be more satisfying. 

File all this under "white people problems" and go about your business, boys and girls.

Good day.

[angus]

Hey man, if you like rioja, the Campo Viejo reserva ($11.99 this week) is about a million times better than the Campo Viejo normal.  They're typically aged about three years longer.  Complex.  Elegant.  Excellent balance between fruit and wood.  Of course, it's from Spain, so expect the palate to contain pepper and clove, but I always eat chiles and spice, so it's all good.  Check it out.

[angus]

Parmesean Garlic wings + Mango Habanero (if I'm feeling adventurous) + Mozerella sticks and maybe some beer

Breakfast of champions, no doubt.

Throw in 19 giant television screens all tuned to different channels, and you have the makings of an auspicious start to a productive day.

[angus]

Sugar Bowl just doesn't cut it for you? 

[angus]

1. Sounds like pretty much every chain restaurant, except that the "Italian" ones don't do televisions.
2. You're a bad tipper. Was the service bad as well?
3. Bushie has eaten that type of food every day for 32 years.

1.  We had some other threads about some other restaurants and as I recall those I'd eaten at didn't really put me off the way this one did.  This one really struck me as special.
2.  I'm a bad tipper?!  You must not hang around chinese people very often.  Anyway, I just did a quick calculation and I see that I left about 13.6 percent of the pre-tax value of the food ordered.  I do not regard that as a "bad" tip, but I suppose that such propositions are necessarily normative.  Was the service bad?  No.  It was adequate.  Not much service was required, really.  Walk ten feet from the kitchen to my table, ask me what I want, walk back to the kitchen, walk back to my table 15 minutes later with my food.  Come back thirty minutes after that and ask me if I want anything else, and when I say no bring me my check.  Pretty hard to screw that up I'd imagine.
3.  I actually thought about Bushie as I was making the thread.  Sad, but true.

[angus]

If you're voluntarily paying more than 50 cents per wing, you're being robbed.

I would think "involuntarily" would need to be in there for one to be robbed, but hey, what do I know?

I was thinking of group outings and event fare. Sometimes circumstances constrain our choices.

I've noticed that places that charge a certain amount "per wing" have very misleading prices.  I've seen people get charged exactly twice as much as they should be charged in almost all instances.  It seems that when they say "per wing" they actually mean "per half wing."  Actually, not even that.  They serve the humerus separate from the part with the ulna and radius, and call each of those pieces "a wing."  Moreover, they often don't even serve the part with the phalanges, so it's really only a third of a wing that gets counted as "a wing."

Not that this part affects me.  That's the one part of the chicken that I avoid and I encourage my son to avoid it as well.  The battery of antibiotics and vaccines given to chickens are given in the wing, and even in a chicken with a healthy circulatory system there will be a greater concentration of those agents in the wing than in any other body part.  It was to my relief, in fact, when I discovered that Buffalo Chicken Wings serves items other than chicken wings.  I was willing to eat wings, if that's all they had, because it won't kill you if you don't eat them every day, but it's not something I'd order if there are other things on the menu.

I actually prefer the heart of the chicken over all the other bits, but unfortunately many chicken places don't have that on the menu.
 

[angus]

a little Vietnamese place

Bunch of them here too.  I've been to six Vietnamese places in Lancaster County, and I'm aware of two others that I haven't been to yet.  They're all small and all smelly and all make delicious food.  One place is called Phở King.  Love that name.

I haven't tried their chicken wings, but I have tried other chicken dishes there.  I generally get the kitchen sink phở xe lửa when I go to those places.  Mmmmm, tripe. 

There's a place called Saigon Cafe near the library, and the next time we're there around lunchtime I'll lobby for that rather than barfood.