Comedy Goldmine Rises

[Badger]

I don't think it's funny to laugh at a senile old man when he performs the internet equivalent of pissing his own pants and then vociferously blaming the dog for it.

Goldmine within the Goldmine! A hit, a very palpable hit!

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I don't think it's funny to laugh at a senile old man when he performs the internet equivalent of pissing his own pants and then vociferously blaming the dog for it.

Goldmine within the Goldmine! A hit, a very palpable hit!

I wonder how many death points Captain Buzzkill gave Joe for the personal attack

[Holmes]

Might I ass that my county voted 55-42 for McCain?

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Bachmann landslide

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Let me use this example: imagine four BRTD polls are on the edge of a cliff.  An identical emoviolence poll is created and takes the place of the first poll.  The formerly first poll takes the place of the second, which takes the place of the third.  The fourth poll falls off the cliff.

This board would work the same way.

[Platypus]

and they like Gov. McDonnell:

I blame it on the uranium deficiency.

[Landslide Lyndon]

King continues to deliver the lulz.

He has a real potential to eat into Pawlenty's support.

Pawlenty has support?

Pawlenty's 3rd cousin is McCotter's 2nd.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I know of this great supplementary healthcare program that would have completely solved this problem for you!  For just one small fee of $149.99*, AmeriPlan could have taken care of all of this for you at no extra cost†.


* followed by monthly instalments of $49.99

† excluding $19.99 shipping

[opebo]

If I were cleaning toilets all day I'd want to rape somebody too (probably with the plunger, however, and probably not a female).

Yes!  Thanks to Lief this one is preserved.  I just examined my list of censored posts and the dictators have removed the original post for opposing Gustaf.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Paul McCarthy definitely.

Is he the evil twin of Paul McCartney the Beatle? 

No, he was the brother of Joseph McCarthy.  You know, of the Fab Five: McCarthy, Vladmir Lenin, Harrison Ford, Bart Starr, and manager Theo Epstein.  They were only the first all-white freshman lineup to take their team to the Final Four.

Pay attention Gramps.  Geez.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I'm partial to the Christian movie Time Chaser where if you try to take Jesus out of the curriculum in the 1800s a preacher with a time machine will come and take you to 2005 to show you how awful everything is with the rap music and the secularism.

[Landslide Lyndon]

Zogby's quality can be compared to quality of Zog I as King of Albania.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

CONTEXT REQUIRED!

Robert Francis Kennedy (1925-1968) was the son of Ambassador Joseph Kennedy and the brother to Joseph Kennedy Jr., John Kennedy, and Edward (Teddy) Kennedy.  After getting a shaky political start as a prosecutor under Senator Joseph McCarthy, Bobby Kennedy rode his brother's coattails to become Attorney General under the Kennedy Administration.  Due to disagreements with Lyndon Johnson, Kennedy could not stay on as Attorney General, and, in one of the great examples of political carpetbagging, was elected Senator from New York State, setting a precedent for Hillary Clinton and other later political carpetbaggers.  In 1968, following Senator Eugene McCarthy's near-upset of the President in the New Hampshire primary, Robert Kennedy entered the Presidential race, and after winning the California primary in a bitter three-way battle with Vice President Humphrey and Senator McCarthy, was shot by Palestinian radical Sirhan Sirhan.  His eulogy by brother Teddy Kennedy helped launch Teddy's forty-year political career.

[Napoleon]

I envision David Duke as a sort of quasi-mythical hooded figure, who roams the country, sometimes disappearing for years at a time, emerging again to get more votes than Buddy Roemer in an election, and then retreating back into the mist.

[Lief 🗽]

49% Insane
21% Sane
29% Confused and manipulatable.

That sounds like a reasonable sample of the Republican Party to me.

[Badger]

From PPP's poll:

Scott’s standing is so poor that 40% of this swing state’s voters say his actions as
governor will make them less likely to support the Republicans’ presidential nominee
next year. Only 26% say they will make them more likely. Most crucially, independents
say by a 45-18 margin that Scott has turned them off from GOP candidates in general.

Wow! Scott is so bad that 26% are more likely to vote for a Republican for President? Very compelling data! You guys definitely proved me wrong on this one.

[Landslide Lyndon]

From PPP's poll:

Scott’s standing is so poor that 40% of this swing state’s voters say his actions as
governor will make them less likely to support the Republicans’ presidential nominee
next year. Only 26% say they will make them more likely. Most crucially, independents
say by a 45-18 margin that Scott has turned them off from GOP candidates in general.

Wow! Scott is so bad that 26% are more likely to vote for a Republican for President? Very compelling data! You guys definitely proved me wrong on this one.

You couldn't resist the temptation, could you?

[Paul Kemp]

I once shook Rick Perry's hand and said hello to him. We were both soaking wet and half-naked.

[Bacon King]

To be fair, the Atlas had no sense of reality in the early years.  Boss Tweed was about 35 years old, hughento was a life-long resident of Iowa, bgwah was the forum's resident troll, and josh22* and Clay were straight Republican males.

*Josh may be in the straight Republican male cycle of his life again.  I would have to check Carolinian leadership conference schedules for more info.

PERMISSION GRANTED

[Lief 🗽]

I once shook Rick Perry's hand and said hello to him. We were both soaking wet and half-naked.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Until the Lord Jesus Christ returns.

It was a 30 day ban, not a 40 day ban.

[bgwah]

I once shook Rick Perry's hand and said hello to him. We were both soaking wet and half-naked.

Do tell!

[Landslide Lyndon]

She also signed a pledge for a constitutional amendment to ban pornography.

Won't resonate well with male voters... even the conservative ones.

Especially the conservative ones.

[Badger]

From PPP's poll:

Scott’s standing is so poor that 40% of this swing state’s voters say his actions as
governor will make them less likely to support the Republicans’ presidential nominee
next year. Only 26% say they will make them more likely. Most crucially, independents
say by a 45-18 margin that Scott has turned them off from GOP candidates in general.

Wow! Scott is so bad that 26% are more likely to vote for a Republican for President? Very compelling data! You guys definitely proved me wrong on this one.

You couldn't resist the temptation, could you?

[Badger]

Because people from the North are usually assholes and Southern culture is not as receptive to assholes.

See avatar.