The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[Reginald]

Then there's Leviticus.  One messed up dude.

[Joe Republic]

For the mental image:

I wonder if he'd try to do the same thing to Putin or another foreign leader if he becomes president. Pretend to hand off to the Secretary of State but instead it's actually still him with a slightly altered accent. Would they fall for it?

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

that's like whining about how wet water is and how if it climbs down into your lungs, you'll drown...and that's clearly because of angry hydrogen molecules. Well, no s*(t, but you don't have to bring it up everywhere.

EDIT: when Winfield suggested the Republicans change their name to Rethuglicans.

It seems that Lincoln no longer refers to "Abraham Lincoln," but instead, it now refers to "Lincoln Chafee."

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Almost wrote Hermain Cain rather than Herman Goering in an exam today. That's worrying

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Well, RIP my Wee-Wee. FF.

Please don't rip your wee-wee.  That would be painful and require a long time to heal.  

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I imagine Dave logging in one day and opening this thread with a lot of new posts to see which ban created so much feedback. And then he'll realize what we've been talking about.

"Forced sex reassignment surgery is not an appropriate use of moderator authority on this site.  In extreme cases, where a week of moderator review has failed to yield a change of behavior, an offending poster may choose hormone therapy as an alternative to a permanent ban.

thanks.
Dave"

[Figueira]

The entire last page or so of that thread can be posted here honestly.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

The entire last page or so of that thread can be posted here honestly.

True.

[This account no longer in use.]

The best post in that page:

An amateur flow-chart regard what you should shoot for in the healing process of a ripped weewee. First get is supposed to be "Take", and other includes, but is not limited to, someone else ripping your weewee, getting hopped up on bath salts and eating it, and losing a bet.

Top outcome refers to getting your weewee reconstructed, and bottom outcome is basically just transitioning.

[Figueira]

Tossup between Graham and Underwood. Lean Graham, due to his being real.

[NeverAgain]

Who the hell names their kid 'Allen Alley'?

Someone with wit roughly equal to that of the Oregon GOP.

[Virginiá]

Context: Will Trump get more newspaper endorsements than Romney?

Of course. White Power Weekly would be really inclined to go Trump's way.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

Re: Jeb not voting

You mean, he didn't accidentally drop his absentee ballot in a bowl of guacamole?

[Virginiá]

Context: Priebus: People just don't care about Trump controversies

He's not wrong.  If he were, Trump would have never even made it to Iowa.

republican primary voters aren't people though

omg i love this girl

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

As people on this very site have pointed out, neo-Nazis vs SJWs is the future. The moderate majority just isn't passionate enough about politics to get engaged in it.

lol ok

Just look at Youtube comments. Most young people who are politically engaged are on either extreme, hardly any moderates.

Okay, so am I an SJW or a neo-Nazi?

No, but outside of actual political forums it seems that most are. IMDB, Youtube, ect. are filled with extremists.

[MT Treasurer]

Bronz, you've passed a new horizon of ridiculousness.

It's not, man. Turner is more energetic, more feisty. Turner is Trump's worst nightmare.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

context: "What will [people] call Bill [if Hillary wins]?"

Daddy.

[sportydude]

Context: Oregon could be a swing state in 2016.

your mom could be a swing state in 2016.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Slaughter the aristocracy, or just shoot the capitalists.

What if aristocracy would shoot the capitalists?

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Vichy regime as OK, but the Vicky regime was awful.

Truly

[This account no longer in use.]

I'm tempted to call that phone number.

[SUSAN CRUSHBONE]

hardly funny. dude seems genuinely mentally ill if you look at his twitter profile

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=236982.0

ag went full emo again

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Same thread:

He's not bad. I liked his predecessor better though. He has a rather unnecessarily pompous approach.

Michael Martin? He always seemed to me as rather unassuming individual with a poor voice (poor for a Speaker, given the job description).

Order, this is not a point of order. Er, order. This is not a point of order. Er, order.

He's not bad. I liked his predecessor better though. He has a rather unnecessarily pompous approach.

Michael Martin? He always seemed to me as rather unassuming individual with a poor voice (poor for a Speaker, given the job description).

No, Torie means Selwyn Lloyd.

[Mr. Smith]

Yes. It was 1990, the year of first direct presidential election in Poland and I was two years old. I don't actually remember it, but I was being frequently reminded of this over the years. As a young kid I was a big fan of Lech Wałęsa, not because I know anything of him politically, but because I really liked his moustache (five years later I cried when he lost reelection). So I broke the electoral silence (no agitation for two days before polling day) multiple times that weekend by shouting in every public place we went "Wałęsa for President!" (which I was badly misspelling). My parents, who supported Tadeusz Mazowiecki, were doubly embarrassed.

No, I wasn't indicted, just like Bill.