Oh man, I've literally been saying this my whole life, not even trolling. There is nothing stupider than exercise. I will never partake!
The epitome of Atlas
I thought the quote below was original from an illustrious President of the U of Chicago, my alma mater, but apparently not.
"Whenever I feel an urge to EXERCISE I lie down until it goes away." This observation is often attributed to Mark Twain. It certainly "sounds like" the sedentary author. Others who get credit for the witticism include W. C. Fields, animator Paul Terry, and--most often--former University of Chicago president Robert Maynard Hutchins.
According to biographer Harry S. Ashmore, this line originated with humorist J. P. McEvoy and was one of many that Hutchins squirreled away to use at appropriate moments. In a 1938 profile of Hutchins, McEvoy himself wrote in American Mercury, "He holds with that hero who confessed: 'The secret of my abundant health is that whenever the impulse to exercise comes over me, I lie down until it passes away.'" If "that hero" was McEvoy himself, he wouldn't be the first writer to put his own words in an anonymous mouth.
A version of this line ("Every time I think of exercise, I have to lie right down 'til the feeling leaves me.") appeared in the 1939 movie Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, whose screenplay was written by Sidney Buchman.
Verdict: Not Twain, not Hutchins, more likely J. P. McEvoy.
