Update XVII: I Ate The Strawberry (The REAL, AUTHENTIC Update)

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

If he would just get on the dole all these things would be in reach, and by that I mean NOT reaching for mom's purse.  

What universe do you live in?

The universe where Bushie can get on disability (Bushie has a number of conditions that would qualify) instead of going from job to job to job and draining his parents' bank account.  He needs SOMETHING stable.  Pride of all things stops him from doing this.

Then he could actually do mission trips, preaching, and church work; the things he actually seems passionate about.

clock watching and over-eating arent conditions that warrant a disability claim.

Morbid obesity, Tourette's, severe OCD, and whatever else he could be diagnosed with are.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I know Jeff is enamored with the "American Dream", but I don't see how being a preacher or church volunteer would change that.  He could still have a wife, house, family, and work that is fulfilling to him.  Is it the fact that the wife would have to be employed?  Does Oklahoma know that it's common for women to work or has it not gotten there yet?

bushie should become a preacher at one his churches.

in his denomination it requires no formal schooling or study.

the church would provide him with a place to live.

being overweight certainly isnt frowned upon,  in fact, those fundamentalist enjoy eating almost as much as they love the lord.

he would get to visit with sickly old people and young children.  two demographics he enjoys to love on.

Good post.

I have no idea why Bushie doesn't do this.  A born-again Oklahoman lady fat would be all over him.  He could have all he proposes to love and want .  

Do you think it's a desire to make Dad proud by putting on a shirt and tie?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bush might as well apply though. No harm if denied.

Problem is Bushie isn't willing to fight for it.  If he really wanted it, he could get it. As his, he argues he doesn't qualify for #2.

I'm sure he does want it.  Paid to love on kids, take naps, preach, and watch TV?  It's obviously his staunchly Republican family that will not allow him to take a gov't check like some lazy (fill in the blank).

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

CONFIRMED: Oklahoma City is populated solely by people scamming one another.

Oh jesus.  How long until Fox picks up on this one and blames it on Obama's dependence culture? 

That said, Bushie should look into this line of work.  Certainly it's more noble than Rainbow Vacuums.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I am voting for Inhofe's opponent, though I am voting for Lankford since I know him personally.  I'm also voting Democrat for State Superintendent.

Bushie, what issues do you agree with the Democrats on?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Damnit Bushie I really wish you had told us this sooner.

Bushie, you need to volunteer for Lankford's campaign ASAP and work your way back in touch with him and maybe he will get you a j-o-b.

Seriously, enough with the hoity-toity CADD crap and get in with that elected official.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie, how are you and your family taking the news that gay marriage is now legal in Oklahoma?

A family meeting will surely be called.

If I were a gay in Oklahoma a week ago, I'd already be packing my bags.  Now?  Jesus... Might have to send in the Air National Guard to extract them. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I suspect self-deportation cleared Oklahoma of the gays many years ago.

Hmmm possible.  Whether or not that's true, you just know the mobs are going to ransack and burn the one Urban Outfitters they have in the state anyway...

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

A new gay is born in Oklahoma every day.

Then they get rid of him by electing him to Congress.  The OK cycle of life.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Help desk = customer service = call center.  Has dad lifted the ban?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

As far as the gay marriage thing, my parents obviously don't support it, but it's not going to bother them too much, truth be told.  I support it a little more than they do, but that's because I'm more liberal than they are.  Gov. Fallin has come out against the inaction by the Supreme Court, naturally, and it may hurt her in the polls some next month, potentially.

I'll be honest, there is growing support for it around my circle of friends and young people, especially, that I talk to. Gay marriage in Oklahoma has more support than you would think.  It still has it's opponents, just like any issue, but the supporters are gaining more company.

So like, 2-3%?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I'm not going to argue your point, but I'm just going to get out there and do my work and let my performance do the talking!

Jeff, you are a very insane person.  Completely nutty.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

We'll see who is right.

I'm not going to argue your point, but I'm just going to get out there and do my work and let my performance do the talking!

You've never failed in either of these respects before. I see no reason to be concerned.

Jesusgodalmightywhatthef[inks]iswrongwiththiskidhehasthegoddamnmemoryofa
f[inking]cathefailshardatsomethingandhisdadwhoistheonlypersonhelistenstointhe
entireworldtellshimspecificallytostayawayfromcustomerserviceafterhisyearsof
repeatedfailuresandholysh[inks]tenminuteslaterhehasappliedforcustomerservice
jobsandisboastingabouthowwellheisgoingtodothisistheliteraldefinitionofinsanity
icantf[inks]ingtakeitanymoreallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsand
noworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandno
workmakejeffadumbboyallnapsandnoworkmakejeffadumbboy

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

On a different note, this cold has caused me to lose 6 pounds.  I am down to 274 now, instead of 280 where I was before I got sick.  I just haven't been eating as heavy as what I normally do.  I plan to keep this up after I fully recover and when I get home.

With so much time freed up, you oughta try some mango. 

Bushie, what are your thoughts on temporary nicotine use to curb appetite?  I'm talking E-cigs, not actual tobacco. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie, get on the phone and bug Wal-Mart.  It shows initiative.  Land an assistant manager job and just keep with it.  Whatever dream you have in your head of where you think you are supposed to be, drop it!  It's not working. 

And don't go to a psychiatrist or psychologist if you are so adamantly against it, but I implore you to talk to your priest/minister/whoever about the decisions you make and your wildly swinging moods and opinions.  It's so far from normal that it's not even entertaining to hear about anymore.  You are way past delightfully wacky and miles deep into depressing. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I feel bad for Bushie now. I think he's finally beginning to come to terms with what is going on. I wonder why he wasn't invited to the family vacation?

I don't know.  Maybe because he's 33 and shouldn't be tagging along with mom and dad every time they visit somebody? 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Here is what I just shared with J-Mann about why I keep going back to customer service.  Any friendly advice would be helpful.

I have had a little success in the call centers, especially technical support call centers.  I was at Dell for an entire year with no problem and was only let go because I couldn't pass the Security+ Certification.  I was also at ONG for 2 years with no problem and that was customer service all the way, though not all call center.  I don't really want call centers, and I want CAD jobs, but those are hard to come by and I need a job.  So, I feel I have to open myself up to jobs that are less than pleasant.  I don't want to stay on my parent's financial ledger, and a lot of times I choose desperation over preferred.  I know there are other jobs out there, but I don't know what to look for.

Wait, wait wait.. lets pump the breaks here real quick. In past seasons, you told us they were getting ready to let you go at ONG. So how does that translate to being there with "no problems"?

Bushie likes to change the narrative to whatever is going to work best/sound nicest for the situation. 

Are we lambasting him for throwing away a steady job to chase a scam?  It's okay, guys.  I was on my last legs at ONG, anyway, and Dad said yadda yadda yadda

Now we are confronting him about looking into customer service AGAIN after he swore it off not one week ago?  It's okay, guys.  I was a model customer service representative at ONG for TWO years, and all I have to do is believe in yadda yadda God blah blah Dad. 

It's classic Update material. 

(I'm sorry for being more caustic than normal with you, Jeff, but you really need a reality check right now.  Take a spa day and have some herbal tea and reflect.  I'm serious.)

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

You have 15 dorrar? 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

so why was bushie's invitation to uncle bushie's revoked??

I have a theory that Bushie's Tourette's makes him irritating in social situations and at work.  I don't think he thinks he is, but maybe we can ask that guy who got Braum's with him?  I'm not saying that he has any control over this, but rather just a result of his condition.

Also, like I said before, he's 33.  This is his PARENTS' vacation.  It's absurd for a 33 year old man with his own apartment to be tagging along on his parent's getaway.  Does Bushie have any church friends these days?  It seems like he "hangs out" exclusively with his family. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

so why was bushie's invitation to uncle bushie's revoked??

It was never there in the first place.  My Aunt and Uncle have things specifically lined up for Mom and Dad.  I was working at the time they booked this trip, so that's why I wasn't included.

However, Mom, Dad, and I are going to Albuquerque, NM again next weekend (October 17-19) because Mom can tell without me telling her I need to get out.

Dude, you need to get out and hang with friends!  I understand family is important, I myself be sure to make time for my family.  Find a group that likes to do certain things, preferably active.  Hiking, bird watching, spelunking, whatever.  You're in a transition phase and absorbing ZERO alternative perspectives and ideas.  Everyone gets 18 years to socialize with mom and dad daily.  You need to have a social life beyond family dinner and board game night with church friends which, I'm sorry, is lame beyond words.  Live a little.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

What is the friggin deal with the call centers!?  Is this really the only thing anybody can do for temporary work in Oklahoma!?  Go work at [Inks]ing Braum's or something!  Hold a sign outside the car dealership!  Anything! 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

No, I don't think it's at all normal for those episodes to repeatedly happen. And now that he's acknowledged this latest one, perhaps with some guidance, he'll actually seek the attention he needs.

So, crying as a man indicates a need of professional mental attention?

That's not the only warning bell going off, Bushie.  You never responded when I suggested talking to your priest about your wildly swinging moods and opinions.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Jeff, what would be the harm in seeing a mental health professional?

There'd be no harm, but I just don't want to see one.

But why not?  It can't simply just be "Because I don't need to."  There must be something more.  You go to the dentist periodically, even when you don't have cavities; you get your bloodwork checked frequently, even though you don't have diabetes.  So why is this different?  I don't understand your strong insistence against just going and talking with someone.

Because psychiatrists are just a bunch of godless know-it-alls who couldn't possibly help anybody [/oklahoma].  This is why I'm telling him to talk to a priest.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I wouldn't put all of Oklahoma in this, HD. I mean, there ARE mental health professionals who make enough of a living in Oklahoma for Bushie to see.

Not all OK, a big part is Bushie 's hubris.  Too good to not do white-collar jobs.  Too good to see a shrink.  Too good accept government assistance. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I wouldn't put all of Oklahoma in this, HD. I mean, there ARE mental health professionals who make enough of a living in Oklahoma for Bushie to see.

Not all OK, a big part is Bushie 's hubris.  Too good to not do white-collar jobs.  Too good to see a shrink.  Too good accept government assistance. 

Yes, this is true. Bushie is one of the most prideful persons I have ever come across to be in his situation and given his education and qualifications. I wonder where he learned to be such a snob considering where he grew up and who he grew up with. He doesn't come from a wealthy family or wealthy friends. Sure, his family has the means to continue supporting him, but they live in a trailer in rural Oklahoma. I doubt they're made of money either.

Because this stupid ass picture...



...gives him a Bushie Boner.