Office of former Attorney General X

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

By order of the office of the Attorney General of Atlasia, the Communist rebels known as Snowstalker, SomebodyWhoExists, and TNF are to be detained immediately.  They are to be taken alive, if possible.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

The rebels known as TNF, Snowstalker, and SWE have all been detained.  Simfan and Cassius have been moved to a secure location.

[Simfan34]

I was never detained, but I thank the Acting Attorney-General for his efforts.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Snowstalker shall be held in solitary confinement pending trial in order to prevent him from smuggling out any orders to the remnants of his militia.  Any statements and videos the militia releases are either fabrications or were pre-recorded prior to his capture.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

By order of the office of the Attorney General, Senator Cassius is given full legal immunity from prosecution for any actions he or paramilitary forces under his command take against the rebel forces under the command of the prisoner known as Snowstalker until order has been restored!

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

The noted subversive known as Lowly Griff is to be arrested and detained until such time as order has been restored and Tyrion has been sworn in as President.  He shall then receive a fair and speedy trial at the earliest possible date.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

By order of the office of the Attorney General, Senator Deus is to be arrested immediately for advocating secession.  He shall be detained until order has been restored and President-designate Tyrion has taken office.

[Adam Griffin]

Fear not everyone, for the apparition in question cannot hurt you. The Attorney General's office has now been secured, with Bill Murray and Ernie Hudson hauling this troublemaker off and storing it deep within the Laborinth with all of the other traitors.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

The radical subversive known as Adam FitzGerald is to be arrested for the promotion of religious bigotry and shall be detained until such time as he is willing to definitively state whether or not he believes creationism should be taught in science classes.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

By order of the office of the Attorney General, those involved in the production of the program known as COUPDATE are given full immunity from prosecution for any and all charges stemming from lack of proper broadcasting license.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

The Office of the Attorney General is pleased to announce that noted neo-Confederate secessionist and Senator Deus has been apprehended by authorities in Buffalo, New York.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

The Attorney General's office is reporting that we have reason to believe Confederate Senator Deus was injured during the shootout in which escaped.  He is believed to be armed and dangerous, and walking with a pronounced limp.  We gained this information from sources deep within Senator Deus' organization.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

The reports of my spectral existence are in fact correct.  Once order is restored, I shall find a new host body to inhabit.  In the interim, the stars are properly aligned and now my fellow ghosts and I have been freed from our imprisonment and shall usher in 1,000 years of darkness (or however long until Tyrion takes office).

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

I urge all Atlasians to unite in support of President Tyrion, long may he reign!

[TNF]

No one gives a sh**t X

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

No one gives a sh**t X