"If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your tea!"
"If you were my wife, I'd drink it"-Churchill.
Thats all I can think of atm.
Here's one from Churchill I especially like:
Woman: "Winston Churchill, you are drunk."
Churchill: "Drunk I may be, madam, but you are ugly, and in the morning, I will be sober."
Churchill had frequent exchanges with the same woman, though I forget who she was. Once they came to a doorway at the same time and she stepped aside and said, "Age before beauty." He stepped through the door and said, "Pearls before swine."
