The third option is the only option compatible with human freedom and dignity.
How would a person ever choose what they want to be?
People choose who they are constantly. All life is a choice.
People make what we call "choices" based on a set of predispositions, circumstances, and values systems. Most decisions arrived at are thusly the result of preexisting factors or absurd chance. As such, I would say it's very inappropriate to claim people simply choose to behave certain ways. "Free will" is a hedonistic fantasy.