Weird dreams you've had involving politicians

[Anna Komnene]

Last night I had a dream where I stopped by this out of the way little indie fast food joint. I checked out their menu and they had this meatless burger with veggies called "The Chartreuse." Being the little herbivore that I am, I was overjoyed and told the cashier that I wanted one. But when I did, she looked at me like I was a monster and had no clue what I was talking about. She talked to other people there, who looked equally appalled and baffled, and I was just kind of sitting in a corner thinking to myself "wtf? it's on your menu?" and wanting to disappear.

Then finally the owner of the establishment came out to talk to me. It was Terry McAuliffe. He asked me what the problem was, called me "champ," and asked me if there was anything else I'd like to order. I said no and that I was pretty sure there wasn't anything else I could eat on the menu because they all had meat. He looked at me and nodded in a very profound way and then told me to hold tight, walking out of the building. I was confused at first until I realized he was taking a walk to the grocery store next door to buy a veggie burger to make my "Chartreuse." As I was waiting, the cashier asked me if I had a bunch of weird diseases or if I was with PETA. I said no, I'm not an activist, I'm just a vegetarian. Eventually, McAuliffe returned with a slab of tofu in hand and slapped it on the grill himself to make my meal personally.

What the f[inks] is my life.