SENATE BILL: The Glorious Airport Renaming Act of 2014 (Vetoed)

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I am okay as long as the South gets an airport named "The Duke-Yankee International Airport for the Mentally Insane." It would seem fitting for us all.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It looks like I need to go ahead and name an airport after myself because I'll be a lame duck fairly soon.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I want an airport!  Please

Don't worry. Lame Duck Duke will make sure everyone gets an airport!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Maybe it's only right that I go on a redrafting spree to celebrate our victory last night?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Actually, yea, can we even rename these? I was going to redraft to include a more balanced bill, but the question now is whether this is a job for the regions or a job for us?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Actually, yea, can we even rename these? I was going to redraft to include a more balanced bill, but the question now is whether this is a job for the regions or a job for us?

Do the regions staff their own TSA molestors? If not, I don't see why they would feel entitled to name the airports.

I don't see how the TSA has anything to do with it. Most commercial service airports are publicly owned by local or state governments - the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority is perhaps the only one where the Senate can claim jurisdiction. Houston's owned by Houston, Dallas by the Cities of Dallas and Ft. Worth, Atlanta by the city, Tampa by the county, Orlando by the city and county, Miami by the county, Ft. Lauderdale by the county, Charlotte by the city - none of it's owned by the feds.

Right, so do we even have authority to rename these airports without putting them under federal control?

I certainly won't sign anything that doesn't give me an airport somewhere either.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

We aren't taking all of these airports under our control. It will cost us billions I'd rather throw at other things.

If there are airports that the federal government operates, sure, we can, but otherwise, this may be fun but not feasible.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I can't put a price tag on game moderation because my GM is running for senate, so I am likely to veto this because we can't rename these without assuming billions in debt I'd rather throw elsewhere.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I'm probably going to veto this in the next day or so since I don't have a GM yet and I won't know how much this will cost us to do. I can't buy the argument that I have to sign this to find out... seems kind of reckless.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I'm vetoing this. Sorry, my friends, but I can't justify nationalizing all these airports just so we can rename them, especially since I am not getting my own airport.

Maybe we can revisit this in the future once I get a GM and we can figure out how much it will cost.