Update XV: Stuck Inside of Tulsa with the Oklahoma City Blues Again

[King]

Yes, both Duke and Simfan had good ones.  But there may have been better ones in years past, I don't remember.  We've definitely had quite a few.

I remember jmfcst's tearing into Bushie's God defense being quite good.

[King]

Also, about that whole 78% in CADD... didn't he tell us at one point that he needed to get at least 80% in the class to get credit for it? I hope I'm misremembering...

No, that was his personal goal, which he assured us he didn't need to finish assignments to achieve.

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[King]

since we know how much you love going back to school

We do?

[King]

Sounds like you need to be briefly relaxing more.

[King]

So are you saying you love God more than your brother?

[King]

Bushie your diet is garbage and I'm not even talking about health wise. Flavor wise it sucks.

Fast food bacon cheeseburgers and Diet Dr Pepper every day? Please. Eating unhealthy is one thing but eating the same crap is a waste of life.  Before you even start eating a weird vegan health diet like you plan on, you need at least try to eat different kinds of junk.

I'm chowing down a chicken shawarma right now. Is that healthy at 1 am? No, but damn it's better than a bacon cheeseburger 14 times a week.

[King]

Arab food isn't necessarily healthy,  but all I'm saying is that he needs to start enjoying variety.

As for portion control my first recommendation is that he buy a gallon bottle of water and require himself to drink it completely every day. 1 gallon of straight water a day. If he can stomach Dr Pepper and milkshakes on top of that, its a treat but the water comes first.  Pour a glass and chug before every meal. Going out to eat? Get a glass of water to start and don't start eating until that water is finished.

[King]

King, I don't know how that would work. A gallon a day? That's twice the recommended amount. I mean I can see the logic in it but I feel like that can exacerbate uneven eating. Which is why I suggest eating a lot of water-heavy food, because it has that filling effect whilst having some nutrition and calories.

I mean, Bushie, what do you think of grapes, watermelon, celery, pineapple, things like that? I mean try eating them a lot. It keeps you filled without all the junk.

I say a gallon of water because Bushie hasn't proven himself to be capable of sticking to general suggestions. We know how it would end. He eats watermelon once and says he'll do it again sometime but never does.

A strict rule on water like a glass before every meal and a gallon a day would help his portion control and I think it's something he could legitimately stick to, almost like lapbanding him with water.

We have to be realists with Bushie and realize he's always going to be craving the food he's spent a whole lifetime eating. The best path forward for someone like him is to make him so full on water before each cheeseburger and fries that he won't be able to finish the cheeseburger and fries.  That's a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

Then, next stage would be a glass of water and a light salad before every cheeseburger and fries.

Really, the most realistic diet for him would be to slog through water and a plate of vegetables with the knowledge that a kids meal sized bacon cheeseburger and fries is a reward if he finishes.  It's not a new idea either, http://www.amazon.com/VB6-Before-Weight-Restore-Health/dp/0385344740

[King]

We have to be realists with Bushie and realize he's always going to be craving the food he's spent a whole lifetime eating.

Sorry to interject, longtime reader first time poster, but if this is the case has anyone suggested he switch to bison burgers?  Bison meat is much healthier for you than beef, rich in protein but with much lower cholesterol and saturated fats.  Has a bit of a sweeter taste to it as well.  It’s a little more expensive usually but the health effects would pay off in dividends.  

We can't even get them to switch from 80% to 95% lean

[King]

lol

[King]

RIP CHURCH.

Funny you should say that, I just got back from church.  I've got some energy today, so I plan on tapping into this energy and make my Walmart run this afternoon sometime.

Wow. Just make sure you don't overexert yourself.

Perhaps he should pace his Wal Mart trip by going every day to buy 1 one item

[King]

bushie if you are this petered out at age 32, imagine 62!

Again, there is an underlying medical condition causing it.  A condition that is genetically caused and obesity-aggravated. 

So then end the madness and get on the dole already.

[King]

I wonder if Grandma Bushie makes aspics

[King]

I notice that the legitimately helpful link I posted wasn't even acknowledged.  Figures.

It offered advice other than "keep up the great work!"

[King]

Bushie should get a job at Arby's. They seem to survive on only one customer an hour so he can nap plenty

[King]

I think it's best we let CADD go and focus on getting Bushie a non-call center job for Christmas.

[King]

It is more of a delusion than a lie. Bushie avoids potentially unpleasant situations at all costs, seems he is afraid of the answers he will get back. 

I'm not afraid,  I just have bigger fish hamburgers to fry buy.

[King]

How long before Bushie's new opportunity is exposed as a scam?

A CADD job drafting new leads for Kirby Vacuums!

[King]

Will you list your prior foray into "insurance" as experience?

[King]

I'd like Our Dear Friend to turn on ABC right now and give us his thoughts on Brazil vs. Chile in the 2014 FIFA (TM) World Cup.

I'm watching a more exciting game - Chicago White Sox vs. Toronto Blue Jays.

You could watch an entire WC game with extra time and penalty kicks and still have enough time to catch the 6th inning+ of that game.

[King]

Sorry Bushie, your Update is being killed in the ratings, as well as critically, right now by the Inks Scandal mini-series.

kljackson is the yellow king

[King]

Sorry Bushie, your Update is being killed in the ratings, as well as critically, right now by the Inks Scandal mini-series.

To be honest, I debated on whether to even post or not with the Inks-gate raging.  You can tell my decision!

And by the looks of it, once you posted in support of Inks in that thread, the whole situation spiraled downward for him.

[King]

What will happen first? Allison gets pregnant or Bushie finds stable employment?

[King]

If Papa Allison said no, would Bushie have to break up with her?

[King]

If Papa Allison said no, would Bushie have to break up with her?

This question is a moot point.  He gave me his blessing.

Your confidence always worries me.