Should public nudity and public sex be legal?

[angus]

2. Being legal would take all the fun out of public sex.

That is all.

I can't think of a better response than this.

[angus]

The quick easy and smart responses:

1. People are too fat for toplessness to be legal for either gender.
2. Being legal would take all the fun out of public sex.

That is all.

Yeah...I'll go with that. Seriously. Its usually the old, fat weirdos who don't wear clothes.

I liked the post except for the word topless, which is why I only quoted the second item.  I have stayed at a clothing optional resort (Hedonism II in Negril) and I felt so foolish.  I spent the whole time walking around covering my genitals with my hands.  Like those pictures of people of Auschwitz just before the cyanide showers.  And I always found it hard to take naturists/nudists seriously.  I found myself constantly giggling at myself and others.  But when I tried to wear a swimsuit around, I felt so awkward and out-of-place, like I thought I was better than everyone else, or I was trying to hide something.  Never would do that again.  I'll stick with the normal hotels and beaches.

But topless is another matter.  I don't care much to have to look at some skank's bush while I'm trying to eat fish, or at someone's schlong when I'm trying to choke down a bratwurst, but nipples, whether men's or women's don't bother me while I'm trying to eat.  And I feel comfortable being topless, with just swim trunks, when I'm at a pool or beach.  And I can take others seriously if they're wearing trunks, but not tops.  I will say that I still think the same rules ought to apply to men and women.  If a man can walk down fifth avenue topless without being cited for indecent exposure, then a woman should have the same right.  Anyway that part of the question was about nudity, not toplessness.  Those are two different things.  Topless is okay.  Nudity is creepy.

Under no circumstances should we legalize public sex.  That's just nasty.  Get a room.  Most of those public benches are wretched enough as it is, coated with bat guano and ABC gum and snot, but having to wipe off someone's love juices would be a bit too much for me.  Not the world I want to live in.

[angus]

Well you know if public sex was legal, it wouldn't be a problem for people to masturbate in public.

One time, about fifteen years ago, my bicycle was stolen in Central Square in Cambridge.  I was living in Somerville at the time and had left my bicycle at a friends door only for a minute while I went inside to get him.  So I called the Cambridge PD and reported the bicycle.  Anyway, a cop shows up and takes me around in her squad car to places where she thought it was likely to be.  Alleys where homeless thieves had been known to park stolen bicycles temporarily.  As we were making the rounds, I see her jerk her head over toward a park bench and say, "Sonofabitch!  I can't believe he's doing that."  And she drives quickly to the other side of the road, to the bench, where I could now make out this old, black dude frantically beating off.  He was going after it hard and angry and fast, with his face contorted in such a way as to make me think that his moment of arrival was nigh.  And she slams the car in park and leans out the window and barks at him.  "Hey man!  You can't do that here!  Get a room!"  Like that.  So he looks around and realizes that he better put mister happy away and pull his pants up.  And then she drives off, cursing under her breath, as we continue to look for my bicycle.

Never found it.  

[angus]

I'm not seeing your point?

um, that one time when a cop was giving me a ride I saw a dude masturbating in public.  I guess that was the point of the story.  Kinda hard to miss, if you ask me.

Maybe you're trying too hard.  This isn't meant to be an allegory. 

[angus]

I'm not seeing your point?

um, that one time when a cop was giving me a ride I saw a dude masturbating in public.  I guess that was the point of the story.  Kinda hard to miss, if you ask me.

Maybe you're trying too hard.  This isn't meant to be an allegory. 

Well you quoted a specific sentence of mine and then gave an anecdote. I thought you were trying to justify banning masturbating in public with that anecdote.

Ah.  No, I was being Joycean.  I guess I do that most of the time. 

But I've already stated my reasons for disallowing public sex and, although I didn't think of it at the time, I think they would apply as well to masturbation in which ejaculation occurs.