California Adopts 'Yes Means Yes' Sexual Assault Rule

[Slander and/or Libel]

I know it seems weird but my friends post articles on Facebook all the time, I see comments on Jezebel and other websites.

At first I thought they were poorly constructed parodies but everyone appears to be taking them at face value. If anyone is even mildly critical, they are shouted down.

The story is always the same: Girl in college. Guy asks her out. She doesn't want to but agrees out of pity. She allows herself to get drunk. She agrees to go back to his place. She makes out with him even though she doesn't want to, again out of pity. They have sex. She doesn't say "no" but she either doesn't move or she says something like "slow down" or "please wear a condom" It's rape. After the rape, she may agree to hang out with him several more times, again apparently out of pity. She may even get "raped" a couple more times. The writer will then make clear that the worst part is this person doesn't even know he's a rapist! But they are!

I've seen variations on that story so many times over the past couple years.

Also, just to be clear, nothing like that has ever happened to me. I always wait for enthusiastic consent and use a safe word even when I'm not doing anything particularly kinky, just because I'm terrified of these chicks being out there.

Holy hell. This is monstrous.

[Slander and/or Libel]

Obviously if you agree to a drink and say "NO" you mean "NO"

but if you agree to a drink and you don't say anything, you will come off as being coy, and that's probably your intention unless you're mentally ill or an idiot.

Sometimes people are having fun on a date, getting to know a person, and want to keep spending time with them, getting to know them a little more. That can be all.

[Slander and/or Libel]

If you invite a woman up to your place for drinks, after going on a date, and she agrees, she is almost certainly willing to have sex with you. Just because you don't make the final move doesn't mean she wasn't signaling interest.

Still revolting.

[Slander and/or Libel]

If you invite a woman up to your place for drinks, after going on a date, she is almost certainly willing to have sex with you. Just because you don't make the final move doesn't mean she wasn't signaling interest.

I'm sure you're a world-renowed expert on female psychology.

You don't need to be an expert. Most people know this. Most women admit this. It's not a secret.

You guys are just apparently turning down massive amounts of sex.

The problem with your position isn't that there aren't non-explicit signals of consent, which sometimes include invitations (or acceptance of invitations) to one's home. The problem is that you seem to be saying that's all a woman can mean by such an invitation or acceptance of such an invitation.

And BTW, 10% of the time is not "exceedingly rare," even if that truly does represent an actual number and not something that people are just ballparking for conversation purposes.

[Slander and/or Libel]

If you invite a woman up to your place for drinks, after going on a date, she is almost certainly willing to have sex with you. Just because you don't make the final move doesn't mean she wasn't signaling interest.

I'm sure you're a world-renowed expert on female psychology.

You don't need to be an expert. Most people know this. Most women admit this. It's not a secret.

You guys are just apparently turning down massive amounts of sex.

The problem with your position isn't that there aren't non-explicit signals of consent, which sometimes include invitations (or acceptance of invitations) to one's home. The problem is that you seem to be saying that's all a woman can mean by such an invitation or acceptance of such an invitation.

And BTW, 10% of the time is not "exceedingly rare," even if that truly does represent an actual number and not something that people are just ballparking for conversation purposes.

Acceptance of an invitation could mean other things, absolutely. But if that's the case, she should say so. Because most normal people are going to interpret it the normal way.

In other words, if she says, "Sure, I'll come up to your apartment" and winds up getting raped, it's her fault for not saying, "In this exceedingly rare case, I am not consenting to sex by saying I'll come up to your apartment"?

Is that about right? Men can presume that a woman wants to have sex with them unless the woman explicitly and forcefully sets them straight?