The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[Associate Justice PiT]

If we lived in Japan, then Nate Silver would have honorably killed himself and shut down the website after the Germany-Brazil 7-1 game. Unfortunately, he is as big a coward as he is a charlatan.

For some insane reason they care about the 2015 Women's World Cup more than current club football.

Suits my interests perfectly. What kind of true leftist sh**s on women's sports?

Because the former is both far more watched and on a far higher level of play? I'd never denigrate women's football but to suggest it's more worthy of analysis is ludicrous. But Americans for some reason assume that the entire sport consists of international tournaments.

The Women's World Cup is the most important women's sporting event in the world. Even if it's not as popular, or not as exciting, it is certainly more worth of analysis because it is the most important sporting event for half of the world's population. You have inadvertently denigrated half the world's population, congratulations. 

[Deus Naturae]

I'm actually a little surprised they haven't tapped Tim Scott yet.

Tapped? Graham hasn't even worked up the courage to ask him out yet.

[Lambsbread]

Context:

Neigh.

[TheDeadFlagBlues]

Time to focus on the Crusades.

[Lief 🗽]

What was your old computer named?

Porn Virus

[IceSpear]

It's wonderful to convert innocent Muslim kids to Christianity?

Absolutely.

[Ebowed]

I'm sure the vampires will appreciate the increase in available blood; it might even have a better taste. Fruity and all.

Something tells me your blood tastes like athlete's foot.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

My life was way better before I got a regular internet connection.

So was ours.

[Flake]

Massive HC. All contraceptives are horrible.

Sexual relations are only acceptable between a married man and woman and for the specific purpose of procreation. Condoms are never necessary in that context. All of the instances where a couple would need them are instances where they shouldn't even be engaging in sexual relations in the first place. If you are not ready to have a child or don't even want one, then you have no business engaging in sexual relations at all; because their entire purpose (or at least their only legitimate purpose) is to bring a child into the world. Condoms encourage sexual immorality.

We need a ban on contraception similar to the one the Republic of Ireland had from 1935 to 1980.

[IceSpear]

Quoting again for emphasis.

Massive HC. All contraceptives are horrible.

Sexual relations are only acceptable between a married man and woman and for the specific purpose of procreation. Condoms are never necessary in that context. All of the instances where a couple would need them are instances where they shouldn't even be engaging in sexual relations in the first place. If you are not ready to have a child or don't even want one, then you have no business engaging in sexual relations at all; because their entire purpose (or at least their only legitimate purpose) is to bring a child into the world. Condoms encourage sexual immorality.

We need a ban on contraception similar to the one the Republic of Ireland had from 1935 to 1980.

[Flake]

Massive HC. All contraceptives are horrible.

Sexual relations are only acceptable between a married man and woman and for the specific purpose of procreation. Condoms are never necessary in that context. All of the instances where a couple would need them are instances where they shouldn't even be engaging in sexual relations in the first place. If you are not ready to have a child or don't even want one, then you have no business engaging in sexual relations at all; because their entire purpose (or at least their only legitimate purpose) is to bring a child into the world. Condoms encourage sexual immorality.

We need a ban on contraception similar to the one the Republic of Ireland had from 1935 to 1980.

Cory Gardner, is that you?

They're definitely the best. I'm admittedly still a virgin myself (haven't gone further than kissing/"upstairsy" making out), but when that time comes, it's of course really important for gay people to have them.

Plus our LAMBDA group won like thousands of them in a competition and aside from providing the school and ourselves with proper sex protection, we also found out they can be blown up which we call condom balloons.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Wasn't it actually his grandmother that was paying for them? So by that standard he's actually their nephew.

[Brewer]

HC because I like it bareback

What's wrong with that?

Sol is a homophone.

[politicus]

For some reason I always pronounce it in my head as o-pay-bo.

[windjammer]

Junk poll!

[politicus]

Context:

My dad got me a pair of socks with a picture of President Kennedy on them

[Lief 🗽]

he wanted to go there to work with the orphanage spreading Jesus all over them like you spread mayo on a sandwich.

[windjammer]

He likes me, which is extremely admirable.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Context:

Krampus

[Simfan34]

This isn't DPRK apologism--this is merely pointing out the propaganda tactics of the United States government and its allies in Hollywood--and the stereotyping of North Koreans not as human beings under an oppressive regime but as mindless drones certainly has racial overtones. And the article makes clear that it isn't just a buddy comedy, but a movie with direct links to the State Department and the RAND Corporation. North Korea is a brutal despotic oligarchy for sure (in a more honest way than most other governments), but the sensationalist, race-baiting propaganda you see in Western media is just that. The article itself has problems (first coming to mind is that Team America was fairly critical of American foreign policy), but supports the existing case of the connection between Western capitalist imperialism and the popular culture.

Eh, more like 7-9.  There is one specific event I'm looking for to start the final 7 years.  That is, a victory, or strong showing for Howie Hawkins between the 2016 and 2020 elections.  Jess Spear was trying to get one done last Fall, but came away empty in November.  We can't cautiously tick underneath 7 years until that happens.  I think a Revolution will happen soon, although I have no idea when.  That's why I'm cautiously thinking between 7-10 years.

Also could go in the Sulphur mine.

[Brewer]

Context:

I'm not a huge fan of Florida State, and he's not as good as he was last year, but I think the concerns with him are overblown.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

He should have drowned a woman at Chappaquiddick.

If the woman is Michelle Bachmann, yes.

Shazam!

[IceSpear]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=204850.0

[Sol]

Yeah, duh.  It's fairer, and it will go much further than term limits would.

I'm thinking about petitioning for an amendment in Michigan on this.

RIP Republican control of Michigan legislature.

Congress can draw its own districts. I would suggest that Congress perform redistricting in Maryland.

Who is this lady exactly and what does she have to do with the times, places, and manners clause?

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

No.  He'll die in a few weeks from hypothermia due to riding shirtless on the back of a bear to deliver toys to all the good little boys and girls of Russia when Grandfather Frost has to cancel this New Year's toy run due to Western sanctions.