Anyone who was born an American citizen, is aged 35 or over, and has spent the past 14 years in the USA can become President. Any personal traits, characteristics, likes, dislikes, or personal history beyond that is irrelevant, except perhaps those which almost disqualified The Donald a few months back.
With that in mind... which of these Presidents - who may be
Republican, Democratic, or of
Whatever Partisan Affiliation as appropriate - will happen first?
To provide context for some of these options:
- President Hunter Biden: Hunter has been a cause celebre for many Democrats, especially as regards the allegations around him. A Fox miniseries about his laptop was recently taken down after the broadcaster was threatened with a suit by his attorneys. Plus, what President's son does not aspire to The Big Job?
- A Republican President who carries Arizona: Many MAGA Republicans continue to rib Fox to this day for almost immediately calling Arizona for Joe Biden in 2020. How sweet the revenge of this situation would be for them!
- A President who has only ever had parental responsibility for one child: Virtually every President in recent times has had at least two children.
- A Republican President who has read "Gender Queer" by Maia Kobabe in good faith: Too often has it been used as a metaphorical battering ram by the DeSantisites.
- A Republican President who supports CPB funding: Every Republican nominee has opposed it. Many of the other "A [Party ABC] president who [XYZ]" options here are likewise intended to indicate relative implausibilities, although a couple which I hope you will be able to easily identify in fact indicate real near-term possibilities.
- A President who massively adores rock, heavy metal, and/or other such genres: Emo counts.
Many of these possibilities can hold simultaneously: #13 is compatible with #2, #3, #4, #5, #7, #8, #9, #11, #12, #14, #15, #16, #18, #19, #20, #22, and #23. Others cannot: #13 is not compatible with #1, since Hunter Biden is a man and a Democrat.
I encourage you to select the single possibility, among those which intersect, which you think is most likely: if you think that #9 and #13 (a female Republican President who holds fast to the tenets of the great Orthodox faith) will be simultaneously attained before all other possibilities, you may wish to select #13, as there are far more women in politics than there are Orthodox Christians. Or not. I'm not the Democracy Police.