After FL was called and the OH early vote came in and only showed a narrow Clinton win, my gut told me that it was over. I had a "dark night of the soul" after this (yes, I cried, one of my parents is a Mexican immigrant, would you expect me to act differently?), though it was a cakewalk in comparison with the following month, where I might as well have been the walking dead. That night broke my heart and will forever be etched in stone as a point in my life when I stopped believing in the inherent goodness of people.
Interestingly, I'm far less unhinged than most liberals at this point and don't feel much personal animus towards Trump these days. This, I think, is the part of me that died. I have no expectations of our political class or, more specifically, the right. I see them as depraved locusts and expect them to act accordingly. It's hard to feel angry at a locust for behaving like a locust. It's part of their nature.
It's quite easy to be on the right and read a post like mine and scoff "snowflake" but, at some level, my tears related to the demise of my belief in the idea that norms of civility, respect for others and rules of decorum meant anything to anyone. There's nothing edifying about our political context. It's disgusting, nasty, toxic and abhorrent to anyone who isn't a manchild. Even the "victors" haven't won anything. You've won paranoia and a siege mentality that mirrors the paranoia and siege mentality of liberals/the left. We all lost on November 8th. Anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves.
