I'm married!

[Alben Barkley]

It happened this past weekend.

I'm now on my honeymoon in an undisclosed location lol.

This is one reason I have been pretty absent lately. I frankly have just been too busy in my personal life to keep up with all the BS lately. I only have heard every now and then some random piece of gossip about Trump's trial, mostly from people telling me against my will.

I'm not going to lie to you people: I've been a lot happier just caring as little as it's physically possible for me to do about politics in recent weeks and months. The "touch grass" advice is no joke. Obviously it's easier if you have someone to touch grass with though, I get that, and sympathize with those of you who still don't. Hard to believe how much things have changed in my life in less than 3 years.

And yeah, the fact that I am a pretty well-off straight white man gives me less reason than many have to worry too much about Trump coming back. That doesn't mean I don't care or won't vote or am not concerned. It's just that I've decided life's too short to spend all my time hand-wringing things that are ultimately beyond my control outside a single vote that doesn't even matter in my state in presidential elections. Even not that long ago, I came to the ledge of the abyss worrying about the implications of what it really means if it truly is THAT bad. And at the end of the day, I just decided for me personally at least, it's just not worth it. None of it is.

Now you can call that selfish. Maybe it is. But you can also call it practical. I hate Donald Trump, have for years and will forever. But hate doesn't really get you anywhere. We all have to accept it as possible that we have another 4 years under this man, and we'll evaluate the situation as it evolves from there, and do the best with what we can legally do to stop it from happening in the meantime. (Assusming of course, most of you agree he should be stopped -- which I'm sure you do.)

Anyway, it is what it is. I haven't abandoned you or this site, even if I no longer post here like 20+ times a day. I still lurk on occasion and as the election heats up, may be liable to return more in full force. So don't worry, you haven't seen the last of me. It's just I realized that as much good as this site did for me actually in some ways, it also could be a harmful addiction. And that's saying something coming from an admitted functional alcoholic. So I won't probably ever return to the posting prominence I once had, but I will check in every now and then and if you are interested, update you about my life as well.

I truly wish you all the best. Shine on you crazy diamonds!

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Welcome back and congrats, Alben. I've noticed your absence. The forum has definitely been a lot less... colorful.

[dead0man]

And yeah, the fact that I am a pretty well-off straight white man gives me less reason than many have to worry too much about Trump coming back. That doesn't mean I don't care or won't vote or am not concerned. It's just that I've decided life's too short to spend all my time hand-wringing things that are ultimately beyond my control outside a single vote that doesn't even matter in my state in presidential elections. Even not that long ago, I came to the ledge of the abyss worrying about the implications of what it really means if it truly is THAT bad. And at the end of the day, I just decided for me personally at least, it's just not worth it. None of it is.

congrats on entering adulthood!

congrats on getting married too, but any child over 18 can do that.

[Schiff for Senate]

Congratulations!!

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Dude, congrats. And BTW you've actually inspired me to do something that I haven't done since Covid: actually get on some dating apps and put myself out. My last relationship definitely did not end all that well....and put me in a rough spot not too long before Covid, which of course did not help my emotional state, along with other things...but I think things are getting better.

Glad to see you're still kind of around here and taking a healthy approach to things.

[GeorgiaModerate]

Congratulations!

[Alben Barkley]

And yeah, the fact that I am a pretty well-off straight white man gives me less reason than many have to worry too much about Trump coming back. That doesn't mean I don't care or won't vote or am not concerned. It's just that I've decided life's too short to spend all my time hand-wringing things that are ultimately beyond my control outside a single vote that doesn't even matter in my state in presidential elections. Even not that long ago, I came to the ledge of the abyss worrying about the implications of what it really means if it truly is THAT bad. And at the end of the day, I just decided for me personally at least, it's just not worth it. None of it is.

congrats on entering adulthood!

congrats on getting married too, but any child over 18 can do that.

You know? I could argue with you, but I know you are absolutely right. It's like something's come over me in recent weeks and months, like some kind of long overdue change has come all at once. Even hearing things like my dad rant and rave and try to bait me (which usually in the past would lead to some long drawn-out verbal brawl of sorts), I've just sighed, relaxed, and said "OK? So that's what you want to think? So be it then. We'll have to agree to disagree I suppose." And it totally disarms him.

Turns out the power of simply not engaging and not feeling some kind of compulsive urge to be competitive and "win" and get the last word in edgewise all the time is in itself a superpower which ironically helps you "win" in the end more than anything else could. I am only just now discovering this power and I am amazed by it.

I think in order for people to understand my personality, they have to understand the sort of environment I grew up in. In that environment, to be right was everything and to be wrong was to be worse than worthless. My father would routinely ridicule me for saying anything he disagreed with or thought was stupid, forcing me to be able to defend anything and everything I ever dared to say in his presence at all costs. And even then, being too GOOD and therefore proving him wrong about anything at all would typically just make him MORE MAD so I had to be prepared for him to lash out over that too. I was trained from a very young age to argue and argue and argue, fight and fight and fight, as if there was nothing else and there was tomorrow.

Now in my 30s, I am only JUST NOW starting to realize there may well be more to life than constant debate and battle. That it is is possible to have relaxed, non-combative interactions with people. That it is possible to accept uncertainty and the fact that you might be wrong without this somehow being fatal to your entire worth as a human being.

You might say my father was and is toxic. Yeah, frankly, that's true. He's a narcissistic asshole if ever there was one. But even then, I'm trying my best not to hold it too much against him. After all, he for better or worse played a large role in making me who I am today and he taught me not to take BS lying down and introduced me to many of my interests and passions. I'm glad he was and is a part of my life, and I understand now that even his issues were just a consequence of his own upbringing.

I'm doing my goddamn best to try to synthesize the best elements of all the people who raised me while at the same time recognizing and excising their worst flaws. It's hard, it's going to be a process. But if we do have kids, and hopefully we will soon enough, I hope they will ultimately get the best experience possible, while still recognizing I am all too flawed.

I will try my best. And that is all I can do.

[MR DARK BRANDON]

Congrats mate!! And btw I’m so happy to see you’re doing well!

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Congrats!

[Penn_Quaker_Girl]

Yay, congrats Alben!

[Fuzzy Bear Loves Christian Missionaries]

Marriage is great!  It's been almost 30 years for me.  God Bless you and yours!

[Podgy the Bear]

Congratulations to you and your wife!  All the best to a wonderful life.  And if children are in your future, all the better.

[SnowLabrador]

Congratulations!

[Vice President Christian Man]

Congratulations, I'm glad you're back.

[GeneralMacArthur]

Congratulations!!!

[Kamala's side hoe]

Congratulations! I endorse your endorsement of touching grass and posting on this Leipforsaken blog in moderation.

[Excessive Hyperbole]

congrats!

[Dr. Cynic]

Congrats and all the best!

[T'Chenka]

Excellent news! All the best to you and your wife.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Congrats!

[Meclazine for Israel]

Congratulations!

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Congrats, man!

[President Johnson]

Congrats, pal. Good luck and enjoy the next period of time.

[ProudModerate2]

Kool.

[Illiniwek]

Congratulations! The beginning of marriage phase is a really special one!