Sorry BRTD, but socialization isn't something you just shrug off.
Uh, I never said it was. And I don't think any church that organizes pub crawls would think so.
What I'm rejecting is the notion that some sort of shared ethnic identity should matter in a church.
or a BRTD-style hipster Church - because what's even the point of a Church if it's functionally equivalent to a music fandom or a tumblr?
Because it's not. I understand where people might get that impression from my postings, but remember it's all out of context. What's happening instead is people who are generally casual and more open-minded trying to make Christianity more appealing to those who don't find it as such now. And honestly why does anyone find anything wrong with that? It's not like there isn't hordes of traditionalist churches if that's not your thing.
Also some of the casual attitudes and the notion that "this doesn't belong in church" are just instilled things that are being rejected because in truth those ideas are nonsense. When one of my pastors is preaching wearing flip-flops, she's not doing it specifically to be casual but probably because she finds them comfortable (and she's pregnant so of course comfort should be her top concern) and the notion church should have any type of strict dress code is quite silly and not based on the teachings of Jesus at all. Same with the (multiple people) who have preached in band shirts, it's because that's what they normally wear, so why not? The lighting that looks like a strip club isn't specifically to look like a strip club, it's because that style of lighting is aesthetically pleasing which is why also many dance places and raves and night clubs use it. No it's not stereotypically "churchy". So what? The worship of God and message of Jesus Christ is what matters, and we have that.
Of the sects I'm somewhat familiar with, Lutheranism is the one I find most interesting, but I don't know it nearly well enough to tell if it would really be a good fit. I'd be very interested if some of our Lutheran posters (both Germans/Scandinavians and Americans) could share a bit of their religious life.
You'd probably like the ELCA.
Generally speaking, the denomination I'd like best would be non-hierarchical Church with a strong sense of community, distinctive cultural practices, and historical depth, that would also be conducive to these basic tenets:
- Believing in universal salvation.
- Believing in free will.
- Believing in the absolute equality of all human beings in worth, dignity, and ability to receive God's grace.
- Paying more than lip service to the "hate the sin, not the sinner" maxim (which entails a particular view of what sin is and how it can be expunged).
- Never taking "because God wants it" as the final trump card in a moral debate - instead inquiring why God wants it, and not limiting us to a literal reading of the Bible to answer the question.
- Not requiring too many beliefs pertaining to the material realm.
I realize I might be asking a bit too much. 
And I also realize that, for someone who doesn't strictly speaking believe in God, I seem to have a lot of thoughts on how He should be worshiped.
Yeah, the most liberal ELCA churches would definitely be open to that. Although what I consider a strong point of them and you probably wouldn't is that despite that they tend to stay away from "Bishop" Spong-style theological liberalism and quasi-Unitarianism, (actually your average Unitarian is probably more Christian than Spong) and things like "Hey lets say the virgin birth and resurrection were just metaphorical and oh please don't be close minded and refuse to consider it." that a good chunk of the UCC and most theologically liberal wing of the Episcopalian church are prone to.
