PiT/HappyWarrior for President June '09

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Perhaps if you mixed in some good ole southern humor and charisma, it wouldn't be so boring.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It's fine. You still have my vote if I could vote for you.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

My friends, I just realized out of my own foolishness and stupidity, that I can vote in this election involving my dear friend, PiT (The Physicist). Under his watch, I feel he will do all he can with his tender hands to ensure that our gorgeous region is protected from the harmful diseases that sit at our gated community. He's like a condom who's going to protect our region from the AIDS that is being spewed from Congress right now. Now, it's not that I don't like Bacon King. He's a fellow southerner, lover of our good food, and lover of pork fat, but he doesn't share the love of states rights that our party has hung its hat on since day one. Because of his blatant disregard for not only our ideals, but Jesus Christ's in Heaven, I cannot support him. It is with great pleasure that I give PiT (The Physicist) my full endorsement, and throw my weight behind him as he embarks on this endeavor to cut the Bacon out of congress and replace it with some lean, mean state right loving. Join me, my friends, in supporting this fine Republican and Patriot! God Bless our Heavenly Region, and God Bless America!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

     Thank you, Governor Duke. Tomorrow, I'll be campaigning in Memphis, Tennessee, the capital of the Southeast. I would be honored if you joined me on stage there.

Let me know what time and I'll see if I'm around. I'd like to join you as well. We need to make a swing through Charleston as well.

PiT (The Physicist),
It s happening and I told you so.

What's happening? Victory is in sight?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

PiT (The Physicist),
It s happening and I told you so.

     I try not to get my hopes up too much. Anyway, I'm hitting the outlying parts early on. Later on, I'll be campaigning in RPP country.

     Thank you, Governor Duke. Tomorrow, I'll be campaigning in Memphis, Tennessee, the capital of the Southeast. I would be honored if you joined me on stage there.

Let me know what time and I'll see if I'm around. I'd like to join you as well. We need to make a swing through Charleston as well.

     How does 5 PM EST sound?

Sounds good for now. If things change, I'll holla at cha boy.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Thanks buddy. And welcome! How yall doing? I am hear with my friend and next Senator of the Dirty South, PiT (The Physicist)! You know, when I was sitting outside on the cobble streets in Charleston after church this afternoon, I couldn't help but think about how wonderful our region is. Our beaches, golf courses, oceans, cuisine, hospitality and culture is known worldwide. People travel from sea to shining sea to take in the sights, tastes and smells of this beautiful area of the world. But what makes this place so wonderful? It's our people. It's OUR people, not the federal government. I want people like PiT making decisions for his home region, not whippersnappers like Xahar in the MIDLEAST.

As I said, Bacon KIng is a good guy and he's served our region well, but he doesn't understand the basic fundamental attribute that makes the Dirty South who we are: it's our region rights. Doing away with them will simply cause us to lose that unique draw and we become blended in with lesser regions. We don't need more pork fat in the federal government. We need a guy who's smooth, steady, and rock solid at the same time; a guy who can stand up for his home region and push forward an agenda that benefits his fellow man. That man, my friends, is PiT.

PiT knows what it's like to be a southerner. PiT knows what it's like to stroll along our beaches, eat our divine food, and eye our southern blonde women. He knows the region needs its rights without the feds peering into everything we chose to do. We want freedom and liberty, not Big Brother telling us what is required of us.

Fight for the Dirty Dirty. FIght for what she has and what she needs. Fight with me and help send PiT to the Senate so our voices can be heard! Thank you all and God bless the Dirty South!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I want people like PiT making decisions for his home region, not whippersnappers like Xahar in the MIDLEAST.

Classy. I'm surprised* you're not calling PiT a carpetbagger.

*Not really.

I doubt you're the best person that needs to be lecturing me about "class," young one. Run along and watch TV or something.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I want people like PiT making decisions for his home region, not whippersnappers like Xahar in the MIDLEAST.

...

Explain this comment further.

     I don't mean to speak for Duke, though I guess it's a reference to how Xahar is more active in Mideastern politics than he is in his own region's politics.

I refer more specifically to "MIDLEAST".

It's a cheap shot at Xahar's dealings with other regions. Midleast was taken by ACC fans who called the Big East the Big Least.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

With gporter entering the race, how do you think the dynamics of the race change?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

RPP Vice Chairman PiT is about to go stumping. Governor Duke takes the stage to introduce him.

Afternoon Charleston! How yall doing? Nice to see so many of you came out on a Sunday afternoon to listen to little old me talk about some things when you could've been out on the water or golfing...I know I would be doing that if it were up to me. All jokes aside, thank you. You know, I'm really proud of this region. I'm proud of what she stands for. When you helped elect me a few months ago, she was in dire need of some help. There was more going on in the local nursing home than in the Southeast Region. Things were a mess. We were the laughing stock of this country. But things changed. Mr. Moderate specifically mentioned the strides we have made in the past few months. Someone is noticing.

But I'm not here to highlight mine nor my current allies accomplishments in this region. I'm not here to toot my own horn or give you reasons of why I'm so great (that will be in about a month or so), I'm here to tell you about a little friend of mine.

In a few short weeks, we'll be doing our duties as Americans and going to the polls to vote for our next Senator. We have two good men running. Two men who love this region dearly. Two men who will stand up for her interests. But there's one man who maybe, just maybe loves this place a little more than the other. Since I've met him, I've been surprised at his work ethic, attention to detain, and determination. He's helped build the Regional Protection Party from an idea to a reality. He stands for region's rights, something we Charlestonians can relate to... and wants to keep the federal government from telling us all how to live our lives. Under his steady leadership in the Senate, I am confident that the Dirty South and all of Atlasia will prosper. I think that this is just the beginning of a wonderful career for this fresh face from far away .... and did I mention he was also part of the reason our region has become one of the largest, most active regions in Atlasia? We can get things done, and he'd be a terrific asset to the Senate.

It is with great pleasure I introduce to you my friend, my colleague, and the next Senator from the Dirty South, PiT!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I can't wait for the debate! I am pulling for gporter.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I can't wait for the debate! I am pulling for gporter.

Why?

Why not?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

     I understand the feeling. I want to see what Gporter will say in the debates.

Why do you treat him like a joke? What if he really does well?

No one is treating him like a joke. I think I speak for all of us when I say we all want to see GPorter do well. I'm offended that you seem to think he's a joke.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Just seeing how upset everyone is over possibly losing BaconKing in favor or PiT is comical.  Bacon said he favored eliminating regional seats if other regions wanted it and voted for the confirmation of a man who called our dear governor a Nazi and seceded from the Union

Bacon has been around a long time and has represented the Dirty South with dignity, but I am very upset that he voted to confirm that traitor and treasonist Hashemite. We also disagree when it comes to region's rights, obviously. I like BaconKIng and I hate he voted the way that he did on those two matters. He's a good guy and I won't trash him, but if we want to keep our region independent, we have to support PiT. He may be young and inexperienced, but he's done a fine job working in the party and, in working with him, I've seen a future leader.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

DC U is always full of unusual questions.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

That's right. Shoot from the gut and never look back. You either HATE some of DWTL's policies are you LOVE them!!!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

She's really feisty. I think what PiT was trying to say was he didn't want to look too stubborn or decisive in his speeches so people wouldn't think he was inflexible in times of change.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

When are the elections anyway? October is almost over!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Polls open tomorrow?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

For regional elections too? I hope someone sends me a memo.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Goodness. Please go back to the blue avatar!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

     This isn't a fashion statement. I'm protesting here!

I'm pretty libertarian myself, but whenever I see a yellow avatar, I think that person is crazy or a pothead or both.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

You won't have a computer at home? How can you post 30 times a day and late at night without one?

You can get an iPhone and that solves the problem.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

You could miss something urgent.

     Which would suck, but all Senators miss important bills. Such is life.

You won't have a computer at home? How can you post 30 times a day and late at night without one?

You can get an iPhone and that solves the problem.

     I have one now. However, the power company wants to turn off my electricity & it's unlikely that I'll get the money to pay them before they do, so that would mean a few days without computer access at home. Also, iPhones are out of my price range, sad to say.

Can't you take a check down to the power company's office? It can't be good to be without power for a few days!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

How will you make people more active?

     I ask all of my friends to be more active in Atlasia, but I can do nothing to force them to do so.

You could miss something urgent.

     Which would suck, but all Senators miss important bills. Such is life.

You won't have a computer at home? How can you post 30 times a day and late at night without one?

You can get an iPhone and that solves the problem.

     I have one now. However, the power company wants to turn off my electricity & it's unlikely that I'll get the money to pay them before they do, so that would mean a few days without computer access at home. Also, iPhones are out of my price range, sad to say.

Can't you take a check down to the power company's office? It can't be good to be without power for a few days!

     I have a $15,000 check. My mother plans to open a new bank account & put it in tomorrow. They would probably hold it for a week (it's a large sum of money). However, Friday of next week is also the deadline to pay the bill. You see what my problem is.

It's $15,000 a month for electricity in SF??