Title: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on March 29, 2014, 08:19:15 PM
Since the last one passed the 2K mark.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on March 30, 2014, 01:33:29 AM
This needs "goldmine" somewhere in the title if it's ever going to get off the ground
I don't remember my Calc class enough to be precisely sure what's going on here, but for some reason I found this hilarious ...
And falsify the Riemann hypothesis? :P
I don't remember my Calc class enough to be precisely sure what's going on here, but for some reason I found this hilarious ...
While we're on the subject of complex numbers...
Angus, Ernest, muon, Alfred!
If you know a solution to the equation ζ(z) = 0 whose imaginary part is ≠ 0 and whose real part ≠ ½ , please send it to me via PM. ;)
Angus, Ernest, muon, Alfred!
If you know a solution to the equation ζ(z) = 0 whose imaginary part is ≠ 0 and whose real part ≠ ½ , please send it to me via PM. ;)
And falsify the Riemann hypothesis? :P
Title: The J.J. Comedy Price of Goldmine.
Post by: Oakvale on March 30, 2014, 04:47:24 PM
Please reserve your preservation of funny posts for this thread. RIP last Comedy Goldmine.
YES, AND CAPITALISM WILL FALL BECAUSE OF THE FALLING TENDENCY OF THE RATE OF PROFIT.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on March 30, 2014, 04:55:42 PM
Snowstalker making a Comedy Thread?
No.
No.
Title: Re: The Comedy Price of Goldmine.
Post by: King on March 30, 2014, 06:26:31 PM
Shouldn't this be named after JayJay with the title?
Title: Re: The Comedy Price of Goldmine.
Post by: Oakvale on March 30, 2014, 06:49:27 PM
Shouldn't this be named after JayJay with the title?
I hoped that that was clear but sure.
Title: Re: The J.J. Comedy Price of Goldmine.
Post by: Lief 🗽 on March 30, 2014, 09:42:10 PM
J.J. isn't funny though. Doesn't make sense to name a goldmine after him.
Title: Re: The J.J. Comedy Price of Goldmine.
Post by: Oakvale on March 30, 2014, 09:53:00 PM
J.J. isn't funny though. Doesn't make sense to name a goldmine after him.
He wasn't haha funny but he was pretty funny in an unintentional kind of way.
Title: Re: The J.J. Comedy Price of Goldmine.
Post by: badgate on March 30, 2014, 10:02:08 PM
Click for context
We have breaking news: Florida has been called for Senator Hutchinson.
Title: Re: The J.J. Comedy Price of Goldmine.
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on March 31, 2014, 06:43:26 PM
Why would the economy completely collapse? That's a ridiculous thing to assume.
Title: Re: The J.J. Comedy Price of Goldmine.
Post by: ⛄ on March 31, 2014, 07:27:04 PM
I find her voice somehow annoying to my ear, but she certainly looks much more interesting than a frog.
Title: Re: The J.J. Comedy Price of Goldmine.
Post by: King on March 31, 2014, 10:16:01 PM
Why does bushie leave everywhere on bad terms?
the gas company
utah
metrotech cadd
the gas company
utah
metrotech cadd
I can't imagine ON Company is thrilled with him ...
Title: Re: The J.J. Comedy Price of Goldmine.
Post by: ○∙◄☻¥tπ[╪AV┼cVê└ on March 31, 2014, 11:11:50 PM
Both will be talked about a lot and block either Christie or Clinton from being the GOP nominee. After that, the GOP nominee will drop Bridgegate and keep talking about Benghazi up until his concession call.
Title: Re: The J.J. Comedy Price of Goldmine.
Post by: Simfan34 on April 01, 2014, 12:00:14 AM
My term's three weeks, not two weeks. And how can you say that a party that almost (but not quite) supported TNF's platform - the platform of a man with a far lower E score than you - is insufficiently left-wing? I don't recall Napoleon being a major force within the Labor Party; what you're doing is (forgive the indulgence in fantasy here) saying the Democrats are right-wing because of Evan Bayh - literally the Tea Party of the Atlasian left.
The term is not yours Alfred it's Senator Deus.
The term is mine. Have you looked at the votes?
Can the votes be found in Leviticus?
I did hear something about a few outstanding precincts in Song of Songs.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 01, 2014, 11:12:43 AM
I am reaching another point to where despite over a decade here, I don't know how much longer I can stay in what is essentially becoming a liberal bastion for anti-gun rants (which in and of itself is unpatriotic, humiliatingly defeatist and cowardly) and this unapologetic love for Hillary Clinton who for all intents and purposes should not at all be considered as darling by liberals as she is. That makes me believe that it's simply electability they are worried about and so my opinion of liberals goes down further when they can't even stay true to liberal beliefs (as conservatives do) simply out of electability fears.
I think liberals mean well, I really do. They are focused on pushing the pendulum in a good direction. The problem is, they let emotions run high and lack the analytical thought process about the repercussions of the pendulum swinging back. It is hard for me to come up with a specific example at 6am, so I'll give you a generalized analogy. I read somewhere back around 2004 or so that a few instructors who worked at a Florida flight training school were discussing how one of their Middle Eastern students was asking odd questions about how to get into the cockpit of a 767 and was only interested in taking off, not in landing. Liberalism, political correctness, whatever you want to call it, took over when their bosses and higher ups quickly silenced them, reminding them that "just because a person is Middle Eastern, doesn't mean they're a terrorist." The higher-ups spewing liberalism obviously meant well. But those Middle Eastern men turned out to be the 9/11 hijackers. That's a simple example of how even by meaning well, liberalism doesn't take into account how much emotion clouts the realities of life. You can not lead a country, a business, a city, a classroom even if you let emotion run rampant.
The gun debate is another example of this. Liberals for all their superior intelligence, or so they say, should know that guns don't kill people, people kill people. This is a simple factual statement that you would think the so-called intelligent liberals would understand. But they let their emotion clout their judgement. Piers Morgan learned this the hard way, trying to force his own European beliefs on the American audience. He failed miserably. Remember too, we kicked Europe out of our lives over 200 years ago during the Revolutionary War because of things that were hurting our freedoms. We plunged knives into the hearts of men to live free. We did it just 70 years ago so that Europe could live free. Time doesn't always heal all wounds.
I think liberals mean well, I really do. They are focused on pushing the pendulum in a good direction. The problem is, they let emotions run high and lack the analytical thought process about the repercussions of the pendulum swinging back. It is hard for me to come up with a specific example at 6am, so I'll give you a generalized analogy. I read somewhere back around 2004 or so that a few instructors who worked at a Florida flight training school were discussing how one of their Middle Eastern students was asking odd questions about how to get into the cockpit of a 767 and was only interested in taking off, not in landing. Liberalism, political correctness, whatever you want to call it, took over when their bosses and higher ups quickly silenced them, reminding them that "just because a person is Middle Eastern, doesn't mean they're a terrorist." The higher-ups spewing liberalism obviously meant well. But those Middle Eastern men turned out to be the 9/11 hijackers. That's a simple example of how even by meaning well, liberalism doesn't take into account how much emotion clouts the realities of life. You can not lead a country, a business, a city, a classroom even if you let emotion run rampant.
The gun debate is another example of this. Liberals for all their superior intelligence, or so they say, should know that guns don't kill people, people kill people. This is a simple factual statement that you would think the so-called intelligent liberals would understand. But they let their emotion clout their judgement. Piers Morgan learned this the hard way, trying to force his own European beliefs on the American audience. He failed miserably. Remember too, we kicked Europe out of our lives over 200 years ago during the Revolutionary War because of things that were hurting our freedoms. We plunged knives into the hearts of men to live free. We did it just 70 years ago so that Europe could live free. Time doesn't always heal all wounds.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on April 01, 2014, 12:11:46 PM
Glorious news!
I was feeling inspired from one of Fox's latest charts, so I thought I'd make one to celebrate the occasion:
()
I was feeling inspired from one of Fox's latest charts, so I thought I'd make one to celebrate the occasion:
()
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on April 01, 2014, 01:48:38 PM
Context:
You're an African American
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sol on April 01, 2014, 02:42:14 PM
Oh dear...
Quote
On Tuesday evening Russian soldiers could be seen crossing the Russian-Estonian border and entering into the city of Narva. Through out the county of Ida-Viru, a largely Russian speaking region, towns have been raising the Russian flag, welcoming the soldiers. NATO, has issued a warning that Russia has 48 hours to withdraw or face "serious repercussions." Russian President, Vladimir Putin has released the following statement.
"This is not a matter for the west to concern itself. This is an internal issue being handled by the Russian Federation. The dark days of the Russians living in Estonia are in the past and we can now move towards a better, united future."
President Obama is expected to give an address at 4:30 EST from the White House.
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/01/russia-estonia-invasion-nato"This is not a matter for the west to concern itself. This is an internal issue being handled by the Russian Federation. The dark days of the Russians living in Estonia are in the past and we can now move towards a better, united future."
President Obama is expected to give an address at 4:30 EST from the White House.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Maxwell on April 01, 2014, 03:55:00 PM
I approve of his first name. That's about it.
I kind of wish I could be his aide because the awful, awful puns are hard to resist. "Sir, we've gotten you a new Zellular phone. Can I now have a raise? Don't be zellfish." I'd be fired instantly. What an honor!
I kind of wish I could be his aide because the awful, awful puns are hard to resist. "Sir, we've gotten you a new Zellular phone. Can I now have a raise? Don't be zellfish." I'd be fired instantly. What an honor!
TiK is a top five user.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mechaman on April 02, 2014, 06:51:09 AM
Cheney and Rummy claimed more often that other intelligence was gained from the enhanced techniques.......who knows if it's true.
But isn't their credibility totally shattered?
Maybe not. We know 1 millionth percent of what goes on in the CIA, NSA, FBI and the rest of the alphabet soup. They might be exaggerating but the truth is probably somewhere in the middle.
LOL Moderate Hero.
()
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on April 02, 2014, 03:26:19 PM
()
I know I speak for everyone when I say you will truly be missed. Your silly antics made the forum a brighter and better place. Keep on chasing rainbows, guys. We will remember you. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSz16ngdsG0)
()
This was reposted in another thread. Oldie, but a goldie. Brings back good memories.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Price of Goldmine
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on April 02, 2014, 08:21:09 PM
1920
President Napoleon has had a rocky two terms. Despite a number of progressive reforms, in his first four years, the Great War--along with Napoleon's alienating style of governance and his shaky position between the left- and right-wings of his party--has left him unpopular. Ignoring the critics, as well as the mid-term results and his subsequent failure in achieving all his goals, Napoleon was able to win nomination for a third term by his party. In order to revitalize the ticket, the popular Governor Benjamin Sawx was given the Vice Presidential slot. While many had anticipated that former President Theodore Roosevelt might step up to the plate for the GOP, his death in 1919 doomed that dream. Instead, the little known idiosyncratic former Congressman James H. Shua, who recently raised his public profile through opposition to Napoleon's foreign policy, was put up by the Party of Lincoln. The young Governor Elections Guy of Wisconsin was put on the bottom of the ticket, hoping to appeal to Mid-Western and German-American voters that had been alienated by some of Napoleon's policies.
The third party tickets would prove more interesting, though. Running from prison was former revolutionary Theodore Nugent Fauntroy, known by his adorers as "TNF". In order to give the party some presence outside the prison walls, hog farmer "A. Person" was made their Vice Presidential nominee. A farmer from Illinois, it was hoped his reputation as a representative of the common man through his name would help the party. The Prohibition Party, enraged at Governor Sawx's well known love for alcohol, is using him as a foil. Well known chastity activist and former Ambassador to France Antonio V. was paired with fellow Frenchmen and preacher Windjammer, who was known for his support for the banning of all drugs and his belief that free will was a myth.
With a splitting of the left-wing "reform" vote between TNF and Antonio, and the Democrats in dire straits, Shua easily won the electoral and popular vote.
(
)
Shua (R-VA)/Elections Guy (R-WI) 309 electoral votes
Napoleon (D-CT)/Sawx (D-NH) 127 electoral votes
TNF (S-KY)/a Person (S-IL) 91 electoral votes
Antonio (P-CA)/Windjammer (P-VT) 4 electoral votes
President Napoleon has had a rocky two terms. Despite a number of progressive reforms, in his first four years, the Great War--along with Napoleon's alienating style of governance and his shaky position between the left- and right-wings of his party--has left him unpopular. Ignoring the critics, as well as the mid-term results and his subsequent failure in achieving all his goals, Napoleon was able to win nomination for a third term by his party. In order to revitalize the ticket, the popular Governor Benjamin Sawx was given the Vice Presidential slot. While many had anticipated that former President Theodore Roosevelt might step up to the plate for the GOP, his death in 1919 doomed that dream. Instead, the little known idiosyncratic former Congressman James H. Shua, who recently raised his public profile through opposition to Napoleon's foreign policy, was put up by the Party of Lincoln. The young Governor Elections Guy of Wisconsin was put on the bottom of the ticket, hoping to appeal to Mid-Western and German-American voters that had been alienated by some of Napoleon's policies.
The third party tickets would prove more interesting, though. Running from prison was former revolutionary Theodore Nugent Fauntroy, known by his adorers as "TNF". In order to give the party some presence outside the prison walls, hog farmer "A. Person" was made their Vice Presidential nominee. A farmer from Illinois, it was hoped his reputation as a representative of the common man through his name would help the party. The Prohibition Party, enraged at Governor Sawx's well known love for alcohol, is using him as a foil. Well known chastity activist and former Ambassador to France Antonio V. was paired with fellow Frenchmen and preacher Windjammer, who was known for his support for the banning of all drugs and his belief that free will was a myth.
With a splitting of the left-wing "reform" vote between TNF and Antonio, and the Democrats in dire straits, Shua easily won the electoral and popular vote.
(
Shua (R-VA)/Elections Guy (R-WI) 309 electoral votes
Napoleon (D-CT)/Sawx (D-NH) 127 electoral votes
TNF (S-KY)/a Person (S-IL) 91 electoral votes
Antonio (P-CA)/Windjammer (P-VT) 4 electoral votes
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Smid on April 04, 2014, 12:29:50 AM
Where's Newfoundland?
My guess is it hasn't been found....
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: MATTROSE94 on April 04, 2014, 01:54:22 PM
Who's saying you can't eat the columnists?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on April 04, 2014, 04:23:08 PM
Alberto of course, as it is the source of over 90% of the world supply of VO5.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Consciously Unconscious on April 04, 2014, 04:27:08 PM
I strongly urge all of you to embrace and follow the Homosexual Lifestyle, it's just great! We hold regular conversion sessions in elementary schools, and admission is totally free! There's organic herbal tea and handmade vegan pastries too, so come on by for a good time molesting kids and burning Bibles!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on April 04, 2014, 05:27:19 PM
Sell NM back to 3rd world Mexico and buy Alberta for replacement.
Ted Cruz could finally be eligible.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 04, 2014, 05:33:10 PM
Sell NM back to 3rd world Mexico and buy Alberta for replacement.
Ted Cruz could finally be eligible.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on April 04, 2014, 05:37:11 PM
Sell NM back to 3rd world Mexico and buy Alberta for replacement.
Ted Cruz could finally be eligible.
Thats part of the joke.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 04, 2014, 05:40:33 PM
Sell NM back to 3rd world Mexico and buy Alberta for replacement.
Ted Cruz could finally be eligible.
Thats part of the joke.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on April 04, 2014, 06:39:17 PM
Too few to get him muted, sadly :(
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on April 05, 2014, 12:55:29 AM
Context
Stop giving my avatar a horrible name you pest.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on April 05, 2014, 01:46:56 AM
Real emo. AKA absolutely NOTHING to do with stupid haircuts or guys wearing makeup.
His name is no Mussolini, and the most well known Mussolini died in 1945, before his birth, so no, it'd be impossible for him to be literally Mussolini.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Хahar 🤔 on April 05, 2014, 02:16:57 AM
Sell NM back to 3rd world Mexico and buy Alberta for replacement.
Ted Cruz could finally be eligible.
Thats part of the joke.
You may not understand humor.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mr. Morden on April 05, 2014, 02:26:19 AM
Sell NM back to 3rd world Mexico and buy Alberta for replacement.
Ted Cruz could finally be eligible.
Thats part of the joke.
You may not understand humor.
He's secretly Ted Cruz. So I think the joke just hits a bit close to home for him.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on April 05, 2014, 03:14:09 AM
Sell NM back to 3rd world Mexico and buy Alberta for replacement.
Ted Cruz could finally be eligible.
Thats part of the joke.
You may not understand humor.
He's secretly Ted Cruz. So I think the joke just hits a bit close to home for him.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Maxwell on April 05, 2014, 12:16:52 PM
dude okay
what if like
there was a number
dude like
what if there was an extra number
and get this
we didn't discover it until now
and it was hiding there between three and four
like the entire time
and we didn't notice it until now
that would be new
what if like
there was a number
dude like
what if there was an extra number
and get this
we didn't discover it until now
and it was hiding there between three and four
like the entire time
and we didn't notice it until now
that would be new
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on April 05, 2014, 01:57:20 PM
Kal is definitely a great poster :P.
I'm flattered. Jus don't go BRTD by making dozens of "Kalwejt v. XXX" polls :P
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on April 05, 2014, 05:41:28 PM
This could also go in the Delgue, but I have a dark sense of humor.
Sing this to the tune of Carly Simon "You're so vain"
Oh, you walked into your bedroom, like you were walking into a fog
Your hand strategically wrapped around your gun, you were emotionally sick as a dog
You had one thumb on the trigger as you gazed into the bore
Now all the band knows that they’ll need a partner, they’ll need a partner, and
Kurt Cobain, they’ll probably do the next one without you
Kurt Cobain (Co-bain), I’ll bet they do the next one without you, don’t shoot, don’t shoot!
You could have tried this several years ago, when you were still in your teens
Oh, but NOOOO, you had to go and bore us all with your flannels and worn-out jeans
But you gave up way too soon my friend, you could have learned how to sing
You had some dreams, now there’s brains in your cornflakes, brains in your cornflakes, and
Kurt Cobain, they’ll probably do the next one without you
Kurt Cobain (Co-bain), I’ll bet they do the next one without you, don’t shoot, don’t shoot!
Well, I heard you would shoot up heroin, I guess you were naturally dumb
And you drank yourself into a coma, cause you were totally sick of the grunge
But your mom said, “Son, don’t join that club, with Hendrix and all the rest”
But you had the nerve and a round in the chamber, round in the chamber, and
Kurt Cobain, they’ll probably do the next one without you
Kurt Cobain (Co-bain), I’ll bet they do the next one without you, don’t shoot, don’t shoot!
Who’s gonna clean up the couch and the carpet, couch and the carpet?, and
Kurt Cobain, they’ll probably do the next one without you
Kurt Cobain (Co-bain), I’ll bet they do the next one without you, don’t shoot, don’t shoot!
Oh, you walked into your bedroom, like you were walking into a fog
Your hand strategically wrapped around your gun, you were emotionally sick as a dog
You had one thumb on the trigger as you gazed into the bore
Now all the band knows that they’ll need a partner, they’ll need a partner, and
Kurt Cobain, they’ll probably do the next one without you
Kurt Cobain (Co-bain), I’ll bet they do the next one without you, don’t shoot, don’t shoot!
You could have tried this several years ago, when you were still in your teens
Oh, but NOOOO, you had to go and bore us all with your flannels and worn-out jeans
But you gave up way too soon my friend, you could have learned how to sing
You had some dreams, now there’s brains in your cornflakes, brains in your cornflakes, and
Kurt Cobain, they’ll probably do the next one without you
Kurt Cobain (Co-bain), I’ll bet they do the next one without you, don’t shoot, don’t shoot!
Well, I heard you would shoot up heroin, I guess you were naturally dumb
And you drank yourself into a coma, cause you were totally sick of the grunge
But your mom said, “Son, don’t join that club, with Hendrix and all the rest”
But you had the nerve and a round in the chamber, round in the chamber, and
Kurt Cobain, they’ll probably do the next one without you
Kurt Cobain (Co-bain), I’ll bet they do the next one without you, don’t shoot, don’t shoot!
Who’s gonna clean up the couch and the carpet, couch and the carpet?, and
Kurt Cobain, they’ll probably do the next one without you
Kurt Cobain (Co-bain), I’ll bet they do the next one without you, don’t shoot, don’t shoot!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on April 05, 2014, 09:15:11 PM
I do believe many lesbians are predatory and angry at their fathers and society and as a result try to seduce straight women, as a way of getting revenge against society's males.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on April 05, 2014, 10:22:02 PM
The solution to this problem is to not cut the string. These fellows ought to keep it at its full length and use it to strangle the owners who have put them into this plight. They should use the threat of this string to advocate for redistribution of wealth that they might be able to afford better toys.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: MATTROSE94 on April 06, 2014, 09:38:10 AM
Krazen should be on the Supreme Court.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on April 06, 2014, 01:33:49 PM
I do believe many lesbians are predatory and angry at their fathers and society and as a result try to seduce straight women, as a way of getting revenge against society's males.
can you please leave?
maybe you won't leave because you're a predatory troll who's angry at a forum administrator who banned you when you were 12, and as a result you try to make sock accounts, as a way of getting revenge against the internet.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Deus Naturae on April 06, 2014, 06:36:36 PM
This place is filled with a lot of riled-up teenagers with nothing to do
They could always join the Navy.
One thousand men. One boat. Six months. What could be better?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on April 07, 2014, 08:38:29 AM
It annoys me too. These people are allegedly educated, and yet their grasp of language and its use is execrable. Most of them probably couldn't even identify the origin of that word.
Yis, hou darth peple not stiketh to thi originale Latin formes whanne writinge English! We wolde al duse welle to writen iliche Chaucer.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on April 07, 2014, 09:19:34 AM
This whole exchange:
No, no, no, Ben Ghazi was the Kenyan real estate developer who co-founded the Whether Underground with Rev. Saul Alinsky (the pastor at Obama's church). And more importantly, Barry Soetoro still won't release his real birth certificate which shows he was born in the country of Africa and attended a madrasa in Indochina.
I blame Acorn and Solyndra.
So the problem with healthcare.gov was that it used twenty-year old British computers?
Exactly, old Europe needs to mind its own business.
No, no, no, Ben Ghazi was the Kenyan real estate developer who co-founded the Whether Underground with Rev. Saul Alinsky (the pastor at Obama's church). And more importantly, Barry Soetoro still won't release his real birth certificate which shows he was born in the country of Africa and attended a madrasa in Indochina.
I blame Acorn and Solyndra.
So the problem with healthcare.gov was that it used twenty-year old British computers?
Exactly, old Europe needs to mind its own business.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on April 07, 2014, 03:48:31 PM
America's like that hot chick everyone wants, and illegal immigrants are all the nerds that she should say "no" to.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on April 07, 2014, 04:37:24 PM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on April 07, 2014, 05:11:57 PM
Several thoughts about this since I lived this 20 years ago. I attended Yale back in the early 1990s and there was a battle back then around PC (political correctness). The list of demands on the Dartmouth list seems very similar to the radical PC demands back then as well.
1) If what I saw at Yale is any guide, many of these student activists will graduate, work for investment banks/hedge funds/law firms, buy a house in the suburbs, have children and then vote GOP in their 40s.
2) There were a lot of racial polarization on campuses like Yale and other Ivies which I think feed these sort of protests. One has just to walk into the dining room to see that people tend to dine in their own ethnic groups. There were some mixing between Asians and Whites. The main reason for this is affirmative action. Many of the underrepresented minorities who ended up attending places like Yale were not as prepared academically relative to the rest of the Yale student body. Mixing socially between different groups made this fact quite obvious to all. The way underrepresented minorities deal with this uncomfortable fact is to withdraw in their own ethnic enclave.
3) I recall there was a movement in my freshman year to create a Puerto Rican Dean to support Puerto Rican students which was claimed was very different from Latino students. I toyed with an idea to have a movement to create a Bulgarian Dean knowing quite well there were no Bulgarians in Yale. I planned, when asked that there are no Bulgarians on Yale campus, to reply "see, this is the result of Yale's institutional and cultural barriers to Bulgarians which in turn creates a hostile environment for Bulgarians." Much to my annoyance, in my junior year in college I actually meet someone at Yale from Bulgaria.
1) If what I saw at Yale is any guide, many of these student activists will graduate, work for investment banks/hedge funds/law firms, buy a house in the suburbs, have children and then vote GOP in their 40s.
2) There were a lot of racial polarization on campuses like Yale and other Ivies which I think feed these sort of protests. One has just to walk into the dining room to see that people tend to dine in their own ethnic groups. There were some mixing between Asians and Whites. The main reason for this is affirmative action. Many of the underrepresented minorities who ended up attending places like Yale were not as prepared academically relative to the rest of the Yale student body. Mixing socially between different groups made this fact quite obvious to all. The way underrepresented minorities deal with this uncomfortable fact is to withdraw in their own ethnic enclave.
3) I recall there was a movement in my freshman year to create a Puerto Rican Dean to support Puerto Rican students which was claimed was very different from Latino students. I toyed with an idea to have a movement to create a Bulgarian Dean knowing quite well there were no Bulgarians in Yale. I planned, when asked that there are no Bulgarians on Yale campus, to reply "see, this is the result of Yale's institutional and cultural barriers to Bulgarians which in turn creates a hostile environment for Bulgarians." Much to my annoyance, in my junior year in college I actually meet someone at Yale from Bulgaria.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on April 07, 2014, 10:34:41 PM
Thank you every one!!! I ended up locating it in a document I had saved a long time ago.
Damn straight. I have my bank PIN tattooed on my forehead, backward. That way as I approach the drive-through ATM I just have to look up at the rear-view mirror to see it.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SPC on April 08, 2014, 12:59:11 AM
I would actually like to see this happen and history repeat itself again (minus World War II and the Holocaust of course).
I'm glad you specified this.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on April 08, 2014, 06:35:07 AM
A political abortion.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mordecai on April 08, 2014, 10:37:49 AM
Context:
If it is, it's extremely accurate.
Is this supposed to be some sort of metaphor for the two party system?
Is this supposed to be some sort of metaphor for the two party system?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on April 08, 2014, 02:41:31 PM
Sage is like pornography, guys. You know it when you see it.
Petition to rename this thread: "The Bacon King and Oakvale Institute of Comedy"
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Arturo Belano on April 08, 2014, 04:56:23 PM
Sage is like pornography, guys. You know it when you see it.
Well, I saw it.
You don't watch porn, though.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on April 08, 2014, 10:44:00 PM
write-in: Elizabeth Taylor
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: LeBron on April 09, 2014, 03:39:12 PM
Link (http://www.weeklystandard.com/sites/all/files/docs/Brown%20poll.pdf)
Brown 49
Shaheen 44
Great news! Brown is soaring in the polls and ready to once again defend the people from Shaheencare.
Brown 49
Shaheen 44
Great news! Brown is soaring in the polls and ready to once again defend the people from Shaheencare.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on April 09, 2014, 05:13:40 PM
Bushie needs to quit teasing us with these random closings of The Update.
He used us to save his relationship with Allison and now no longer needs us, so he closed it again. I feel like a girl after a one night stand the morning after when the guy has left and he won't answer phone calls.
If Bushie refuses to Update us, he needs to go.
He used us to save his relationship with Allison and now no longer needs us, so he closed it again. I feel like a girl after a one night stand the morning after when the guy has left and he won't answer phone calls.
If Bushie refuses to Update us, he needs to go.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on April 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
No. The guy gets ripped and never attacks back. Put him on iggie.
As Torie mentioned the other day, my support of him is his death sentence, so RIP KRAZEN.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Donerail on April 10, 2014, 07:46:42 PM
I'm sort of like a southern Democrat although I'm not from the South and not a Democrat.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Smid on April 10, 2014, 09:08:53 PM
write-in: kljackson
Good catch. I can't think of a single kljackson post that isn't notorious on its own. Then combine all those notorious posts into his entire posting history, and, well…..
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on April 10, 2014, 09:12:23 PM
The fact of the matter is that very few people will get to be President. For example it's entirely likely that no one who served in elected office in 1994 will become President (Bush's turn as Governor started in 1995 while Obama's state senate stint started a few years later.)
If Jindal never gets to be Prez, it won't be unique.
He's pretty young, so he does have a future, either as a potential Senator or a cabinet member.
He has a few problems in the 2016 cycle.
Two young Catholic wonks have developed higher profiles (Marco Rubio, and Paul Ryan.) So they'll do better in the polls at the moment.
He's largely unknown to the public. And those who know him are aware of his weaknesses (low approval rating in Louisiana, much maligned State of the Union response, his association with the Perry campaign.)
That could change in a primary, especially if Ryan and Rubio don't run.
Although if I were him I'd seriously consider running for Senate now that the guy with the diaper fetish is running for Governor.
If Jindal never gets to be Prez, it won't be unique.
He's pretty young, so he does have a future, either as a potential Senator or a cabinet member.
He has a few problems in the 2016 cycle.
Two young Catholic wonks have developed higher profiles (Marco Rubio, and Paul Ryan.) So they'll do better in the polls at the moment.
He's largely unknown to the public. And those who know him are aware of his weaknesses (low approval rating in Louisiana, much maligned State of the Union response, his association with the Perry campaign.)
That could change in a primary, especially if Ryan and Rubio don't run.
Although if I were him I'd seriously consider running for Senate now that the guy with the diaper fetish is running for Governor.
Last line made me actually laugh just because of the seriousness of the rest of it.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy Goldmining
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on April 11, 2014, 10:51:48 PM
Remember when Ben Stein had like a second moment in the sun during the 90s?
Everyone wanted to win his money.
Apparently not enough people actually did.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on April 13, 2014, 11:49:17 AM
Deleted posts I also stand by:
Quote
i support abortion
when girl want it
not when boy want it
because
boy is easy enough as is
this is good
to have boy worry about 1 thing in life
to pay child support or not
when girl want it
not when boy want it
because
boy is easy enough as is
this is good
to have boy worry about 1 thing in life
to pay child support or not
Quote
u r such an inksing idiot AD
u need 2 trust more in experts
and stop being such a SUEDO
intellectuall who makes up inks
as he tips
u need 2 trust more in experts
and stop being such a SUEDO
intellectuall who makes up inks
as he tips
Quote
Jesus
jeff
get
a
j0b
already
omfg
jeff
get
a
j0b
already
omfg
Quote
one time
i work for
frontier restaurant
in albuquerque
make good money
even though
OVERqualified
get me friends
get me network
get me job
u do that bushie
and u get job
i work for
frontier restaurant
in albuquerque
make good money
even though
OVERqualified
get me friends
get me network
get me job
u do that bushie
and u get job
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on April 13, 2014, 11:51:16 AM
Kerouac? Is that you?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on April 13, 2014, 03:54:18 PM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: J-Mann on April 14, 2014, 06:02:35 PM
I'm pretty honest about admitting when another guy is good looking. It's never bothered me to be open about it, and I'm pretty straight :)
LOL, what a delusional little queer!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 14, 2014, 06:05:35 PM
I'm pretty honest about admitting when another guy is good looking. It's never bothered me to be open about it, and I'm pretty straight :)
LOL, what a delusional little queer!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on April 14, 2014, 06:06:59 PM
I'm pretty honest about admitting when another guy is good looking. It's never bothered me to be open about it, and I'm pretty straight :)
LOL, what a delusional little queer!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 14, 2014, 06:08:14 PM
I'm pretty honest about admitting when another guy is good looking. It's never bothered me to be open about it, and I'm pretty straight :)
LOL, what a delusional little queer!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: J-Mann on April 14, 2014, 06:09:31 PM
I'm pretty honest about admitting when another guy is good looking. It's never bothered me to be open about it, and I'm pretty straight :)
LOL, what a delusional little queer!
Because I'm gay. Eight years ago, I was closeted and proclaiming "straightness."
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 14, 2014, 06:10:36 PM
I'm pretty honest about admitting when another guy is good looking. It's never bothered me to be open about it, and I'm pretty straight :)
LOL, what a delusional little queer!
Because I'm gay. Eight years ago, I was closeted and proclaiming "straightness."
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on April 14, 2014, 06:19:27 PM
Guntaker has it ever occurred to you that you have no sense of humour
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 14, 2014, 06:21:54 PM
Guntaker has it ever occurred to you that you have no sense of humour
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on April 14, 2014, 06:34:04 PM
Uh what? Have you ever watched The Daily Show?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 14, 2014, 06:37:01 PM
Uh what? Have you ever watched The Daily Show?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on April 14, 2014, 06:39:15 PM
End yourself.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on April 14, 2014, 06:53:31 PM
Uh what? Have you ever watched The Daily Show?
stop.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 14, 2014, 06:56:31 PM
Uh what? Have you ever watched The Daily Show?
stop.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Smid on April 14, 2014, 07:09:19 PM
British comedy is much more subtle than American comedy.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SWE on April 14, 2014, 07:37:51 PM
Uh what? Have you ever watched The Daily Show?
stop.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on April 14, 2014, 07:58:37 PM
OK, now those who could do so before 8 do scare me.
I'm fairly certain I could have done by then, but then the list was noticeably shorter than it is now.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on April 14, 2014, 07:59:14 PM
Hot flames of furious anger are erupting from my ears right now.
Maybe those flames wouldn't be so hot if they weren't fueled by alcohol from your latest drunken binge. ;)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on April 14, 2014, 08:06:12 PM
Clearly if a ATLASFORUMCON were held, it should be in either Oklahoma or Thailand, and in either case it needs to someplace where an Ingress portal exists.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on April 14, 2014, 08:07:39 PM
The real question is how will this affect the Lebanon primary?
Not nearly as much as Voter IED laws affect the primary next door in Afghanistan. (Yes, I know Afghanistan doesn't border Lebanon. That's part of the joke, tho the pun on Voter ID is intended to be the real blast.)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on April 14, 2014, 08:09:58 PM
Left-handed in a right-handed world.
Yeah, I've always wondered - how do y'all use scissors?
While running.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on April 14, 2014, 09:52:13 PM
mods, pls ban Simfan from posting in this thread, thanks
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on April 14, 2014, 09:54:09 PM
mods, pls ban Simfan
!!!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on April 14, 2014, 09:55:30 PM
mods, pls ban Simfan from posting in this thread, thanks
Or at least ban him from quoting five posts in a row from the same poster. Maybe one or two of those belong here, but certainly not all five!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on April 15, 2014, 01:04:13 AM
Well, at least Ernest has one fan. So there's that.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: bore on April 15, 2014, 05:40:49 AM
Guntaker has it ever occurred to you that you have no sense of humour
Lol
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on April 15, 2014, 07:39:38 AM
WTF, Simi, Ernest hasn't said anything remotely humorous since 2005.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on April 15, 2014, 12:06:23 PM
WTF, Simi, Ernest hasn't said anything remotely humorous since 2005.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on April 15, 2014, 12:11:11 PM
WTF, Simi, Ernest hasn't said anything remotely humorous since 2005.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on April 15, 2014, 12:13:29 PM
Guntaker has it ever occurred to you that you have no sense of humour
I call BS on the Brit!
I thought it was firmly established that Guntaker is a Yank?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 15, 2014, 12:53:18 PM
Guntaker has it ever occurred to you that you have no sense of humour
I call BS on the Brit!
I thought it was firmly established that Guntaker is a Yank?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on April 15, 2014, 02:56:19 PM
Never knew most people here can't admit they are bi curious.
Are you?
Most of the thread is goldmine material, but this exchange is the best part.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on April 15, 2014, 04:58:41 PM
Yes, of course, everybody has fantasies in both sides.
What??!
I can assure you that at least one person in the world is not bi curious.
That will be all.
Make that two.
JEFF, THIS IS GOD, SPEAKING THROUGH THOMAS, I WANT YOU TO SLEEP WITH A MAN. WITHIN THE NEXT WEEK OR SO. MY WILL BE DONE.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on April 16, 2014, 01:23:08 PM
Good call on the edit, Ernest. We don't want the jailed mass murderer to call Dave on copyright infringement.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on April 16, 2014, 04:49:57 PM
Hillary Clinton is really well-liked in political circles, actually. Senators, people from the Clinton administration and her staff generally say she's a really nice, fair, hard-working person. The only arguably angry, mean thing she did was kill Vince Foster, but that was ages ago.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on April 17, 2014, 12:43:21 AM
killing has nothing to do with sex. Religions messed up in the minds of people what Judging is. They turned it into condemning. This is godly judging. King James Bible Luke 7:43: 40 - 43.And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on. 41There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty. 42And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most? 43Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.
How is man’s legal system run? Not that way, I can assure you.
Had people know that Jesus was God with blood in him for a time people would not have done what they did to him. People unknowingly repeating the processes to others over and over calling it good.
How is man’s legal system run? Not that way, I can assure you.
Had people know that Jesus was God with blood in him for a time people would not have done what they did to him. People unknowingly repeating the processes to others over and over calling it good.
The comedy comes from which thread he posted this in.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on April 17, 2014, 12:46:08 AM
killing has nothing to do with sex. Religions messed up in the minds of people what Judging is. They turned it into condemning. This is godly judging. King James Bible Luke 7:43: 40 - 43.And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on. 41There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty. 42And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most? 43Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.
How is man’s legal system run? Not that way, I can assure you.
Had people know that Jesus was God with blood in him for a time people would not have done what they did to him. People unknowingly repeating the processes to others over and over calling it good.
How is man’s legal system run? Not that way, I can assure you.
Had people know that Jesus was God with blood in him for a time people would not have done what they did to him. People unknowingly repeating the processes to others over and over calling it good.
The comedy comes from which thread he posted this in.
...oh my God.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: tik 🪀✨ on April 17, 2014, 01:23:34 AM
http://m.sodahead.com/fun/does-jesus-say-anything-about-ordering-from-mcdonalds/question-4229263/
Read the posts from our friend.
http://www.jihadwatch.org/2014/04/jihadist-from-belgium-fighting-in-syria-its-nice-to-see-from-time-to-time-the-blood-of-the-infidels
Comment by artiewhitefox, wtf
This guy has either been taken over by some bizarre bot that combines random thoughts with bible verses or he's completely lost the plot (more, somehow).
Read the posts from our friend.
http://www.jihadwatch.org/2014/04/jihadist-from-belgium-fighting-in-syria-its-nice-to-see-from-time-to-time-the-blood-of-the-infidels
Comment by artiewhitefox, wtf
This guy has either been taken over by some bizarre bot that combines random thoughts with bible verses or he's completely lost the plot (more, somehow).
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mr. Morden on April 17, 2014, 03:34:11 AM
killing has nothing to do with sex. Religions messed up in the minds of people what Judging is. They turned it into condemning. This is godly judging. King James Bible Luke 7:43: 40 - 43.And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on. 41There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty. 42And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most? 43Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.
How is man’s legal system run? Not that way, I can assure you.
Had people know that Jesus was God with blood in him for a time people would not have done what they did to him. People unknowingly repeating the processes to others over and over calling it good.
How is man’s legal system run? Not that way, I can assure you.
Had people know that Jesus was God with blood in him for a time people would not have done what they did to him. People unknowingly repeating the processes to others over and over calling it good.
The comedy comes from which thread he posted this in.
Compare that to fictional kobidobidog:
kobidobidog: Ah, so you can talk as a human being can....like a canine Mr. Ed? There's no reason to try to imitate human beings. We are just animals like you. I fear that if you try to speak like a human, then you're fighting a war against the Zoo. But Jesus who is God sees that we are all animals, and--
Apparently, I didn't make the fictional version weird enough.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on April 17, 2014, 07:05:32 AM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on April 17, 2014, 03:02:43 PM
Vice President: Mrs. Bill Clinton
State: Hillary Rodham Clinton
Treasury: Hillary R. Clinton
Defense: Hillary Clinton
Justice: Hilldog
Interior: Hilldawg
Agriculture: HRC
Commerce: H. R. Clinton
Labor: H. Rodham Clinton
HHS: Hillary Rodham
HUD: Hillary Diane Rodham
Transportation: Hillary D. Rodham
Energy: H. D. Rodham
Education: H. Diane Rodham
Veterans: HR
Homeland HDR
This way if she dies in office, she gets to keep serving.
State: Hillary Rodham Clinton
Treasury: Hillary R. Clinton
Defense: Hillary Clinton
Justice: Hilldog
Interior: Hilldawg
Agriculture: HRC
Commerce: H. R. Clinton
Labor: H. Rodham Clinton
HHS: Hillary Rodham
HUD: Hillary Diane Rodham
Transportation: Hillary D. Rodham
Energy: H. D. Rodham
Education: H. Diane Rodham
Veterans: HR
Homeland HDR
This way if she dies in office, she gets to keep serving.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: MATTROSE94 on April 17, 2014, 08:13:16 PM
One day, soon, Flo will move up to New York with you, you'll get married, spend your lives together, eat out together, go to parties, watch TV and new episodes of "Update" and "I'm addicted to pop," hug, French kiss and have fun sex, vote together, diss Andrew Cuomo together, participate in LGBT pride parades and groups, get a pet puppy German Shepherd and name him Scott, get a pet puppy Labrador Retriever and name him Raúl Labrador, get a pet pony and call him butafly, get a pet bunny and call him Mitty Mittins, get a pet kitty and call her Kitteh, feed them, play with them, take part in their lives, raise your 3 adopted teen kids, feed them, play with them, take part in their lives, eventually they move out, go to college (which you can afford for them since Al knows Bill Gates and Flo knows Flo from Progressive), they get jobs and move out, when your animals die you replace them with new ones, and you 2 eventually die at old ages with the same love you guys first had when you guys first met on the forum all those years ago. :P
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on April 17, 2014, 11:16:07 PM
Ernest why do you go to two different churches?
But actually, it's more than two churches. Where I go for Wednesday bible study is close to home and thus convenient for that, but as I pointed out, my UU church doesn't have a Sunday school and is some distance from me. There's no way I could go to Sunday school at a church near me and make it to my UU church, yet I do want to go to Sunday school, so I do that at another church about midway between where I live and the UU church. My normal Sunday routine is to leave home no later than 8:45, Sunday school from 9:30 to 10:15 (they start their Sunday service at 10:30) and then get to my UU church in plenty of time for the 11:00 service. I get back home around 1:00 most Sundays, 2:00 on the first Sunday of the month when my UU church has a pot luck after the service.
As I think I have mentioned before, my UU church does not hold a service on the fourth Sunday of each month, so I typically use that Sunday to attend the service at one of the Christian churches I regularly visit for Bible study and Sunday school.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on April 18, 2014, 05:20:17 AM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Badger on April 18, 2014, 09:14:17 AM
I went full Atlas last night.
Guys, don't go full Atlas
Guys, don't go full Atlas
Juicy details?
Decided to explain to a group of people (including the girl I'm into), with maps, about my theory about Flight 370 and where I was from.
In all fairness nobody was sober, but it's safe to say I made sh*tting the bed look like an Olympic sport
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on April 18, 2014, 10:34:21 AM
Yes (gay)
I'm assuming those of you who said no actually hired a professional photographer to take photos for you.
I'm assuming those of you who said no actually hired a professional photographer to take photos for you.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on April 18, 2014, 11:11:26 AM
I might be wrong though. You could try answering my questions I asked a few posts up.
It's happened very rarely and not for a while... and it was requested.
A woman texted you and said "I want to see a picture of your penis?"
It not like it was random ... there's usually some sort of build-up to the dick-pic lol
"Hey Polnut"
"Hey Marissa, what's up?"
"Not much we're working on the Vietnamese mining contract so I'm stuck in the office. You?"
"I just got back actually. Policy proposal, had to go to the archives."
"Bummer. What are you doing now?"
"Having a beer. Not a very good one to be honest, it's gone flat."
":("
"Yeah it's actually the worst. Just me and a flat beer. Rather pathetic haha"
"You know what else was pathetic? That guy the other day"
"What do you mean?"
"He was actually terrible, he could barely get it up and it didn't amount to much even then."
"Haha that's not a problem I have, a tragedy though"
"Really..."
"Yup"
"I want to see a picture of your penis."
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck on April 18, 2014, 01:28:56 PM
Be quiet, Moderate.
()
()
Literal LOL right here.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on April 18, 2014, 01:46:17 PM
Jeez Wikipedia thanks for making me look like some sort of inept bizzare freak:
It seems things are now so peverted 61 and 48 average to 70 these days.
Quote
18 to 24-year-olds are the age group most likely to partake in sexting. Of this age group, 70 percent of people receive suggestive photos and messages. Men are more likely to send and receive intimate information than women. 61 percent of men sext while 48 percent of women do.
It seems things are now so peverted 61 and 48 average to 70 these days.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: TDAS04 on April 18, 2014, 03:33:38 PM
Basically, because I turned my mom from a Christian to an agnostic and my dad from an agnostic to an atheist.
Are you saying that you're so awful that they can't imagine that if God exists, he would give them a child like you?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on April 18, 2014, 04:42:40 PM
Context:
One of the most innocent things I've done with them!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on April 18, 2014, 11:08:20 PM
One of these is one of the worst shows on television, and even one of the worst of all time. It relies mostly on nothing but shock value and trying to push the envelope of what can be shown on TV, but with no attempt to actual make it clever or get any humor out of it. It features idiotic and unlikable characters, and really vapid plots with terrible messages. Also the creators are clearly complete morons who have the maturity of probably a 13 year old at best with the type of crap they shovel on it. It only appeals to the lowest common denominator and people who are easily amused by cheap shock value and really simplistic and vapid "humor".
The other is an HBO comedy about some girls living in NYC. I vote for Girls.
The other is an HBO comedy about some girls living in NYC. I vote for Girls.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on April 19, 2014, 10:10:31 PM
So I'm going off to Iowa tomorrow...
Why?
Visiting Grinnell College. Also its rather embarassing to admit, but it'll be the first time I'm out of California...
Look, we know you're thinking about a 2016 run. You don't have to hide it.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Badger on April 21, 2014, 04:29:04 PM
As I said once I'd moderate not per the Terms of Service but the the Word of Jesus Christ. For there is neither troll nor quality poster, neither banned nor unbanned, nor is there red avatar or blue avatar for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on April 21, 2014, 07:39:06 PM
Thanks guys!
As I said once I'd moderate not per the Terms of Service but the the Word of Jesus Christ. For there is neither troll nor quality poster, neither banned nor unbanned, nor is there red avatar or blue avatar for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
As I said once I'd moderate not per the Terms of Service but the the Word of Jesus Christ. For there is neither troll nor quality poster, neither banned nor unbanned, nor is there red avatar or blue avatar for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
I tend to be more Old Testament when it comes to moderating, yet considering how many people want to crucify us moderators, maybe New Testament moderating would be more appropriate. My main concern with making you a mod is you might use the loaves and fishes technique to increase your already considerable post count.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on April 21, 2014, 08:19:44 PM
Currently watching some HBO, and I gotta say easy FS vote right here! Naked women making out with each other is one of the things that makes America truly great! Vote FS if you agree!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on April 21, 2014, 11:46:28 PM
Bolding is mine:
The word "boiswasasis" or however it's spelled should be banned too. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's the Marxist term for the man in charge.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Хahar 🤔 on April 21, 2014, 11:56:19 PM
Why is The Obamanation still here?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on April 22, 2014, 03:32:19 AM
Why is The Obamanation still here?
Again, the real question is, why does he exist in the first place?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on April 22, 2014, 08:43:13 PM
Ted Cruz is more liberal than Hilary
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Ebowed on April 23, 2014, 02:56:51 AM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on April 23, 2014, 10:18:25 AM
If it looks like a duck and acts like a duck and quacks like a duck...
Stones in glass houses dude.
But a bird in the hand is the smoking gun that broke the camel's back, n'est-ce pas?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: MATTROSE94 on April 23, 2014, 11:16:52 AM
Pawlenty after debating Biden would require a lot of
()
afterward.
()
afterward.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Kaine for Senate '18 on April 23, 2014, 11:55:08 AM
I heard that no one realized that something was wrong until the band began to play "The Rains of Castamere."
"Bernie Sanders sends his regards."
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on April 23, 2014, 01:28:54 PM
NYE, you have 24 hours to document to me that the images you used are in the public domain (there is no "fair use" exception when it comes to "poaching" images). If you don't, this thread will be deleted, and I will ask you not to do this again. The owner of this site wants us to not engage in copyright infringement. He made that very clear in the Cave - and it is his call, and his alone. It cannot be debated - just enforced. Thank you.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: MATTROSE94 on April 24, 2014, 11:07:05 AM
Memo to Ross: YOU GOT MAIL !!
LOL.
LOL.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 24, 2014, 11:14:07 AM
Memo to Ross: YOU GOT MAIL !!
LOL.
LOL.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on April 24, 2014, 12:03:04 PM
What the hell was that?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on April 24, 2014, 12:08:32 PM
From the same thread:
no, that was lebanon.
Didn't India have a special election for Quayle's U.S. Senate seat in 1990 ?
no, that was lebanon.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 24, 2014, 12:18:23 PM
What the hell was that?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on April 24, 2014, 05:43:13 PM
Context
"Bernie Sanders sends his regards."
I heard that no one realized that something was wrong until the band began to play "The Rains of Castamere."
"Bernie Sanders sends his regards."
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Kaine for Senate '18 on April 24, 2014, 06:08:13 PM
You're late to the game, X. I posted that yesterday.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on April 24, 2014, 07:41:20 PM
You're late to the game, X. I posted that yesterday.
I think you mean that you were early to the game ;)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on April 24, 2014, 08:08:33 PM
I really wished my "Hilfly is a crack baby" survived long enough to make it here. Alas, it was deleted too soon :(.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on April 24, 2014, 08:50:58 PM
I really wished my "Hilfly is a crack baby" survived long enough to make it here. Alas, it was deleted too soon :(.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 25, 2014, 06:21:22 AM
I really wished my "Hilfly is a crack baby" survived long enough to make it here. Alas, it was deleted too soon :(.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Potatoe on April 25, 2014, 06:55:21 AM
Remember, this was in a TL about Hillary beating Obama.
Obama still bitter of the Clintons, conspire with GOP U.S. Senators to block Hillary's education reform initiatives and also place a hold on Hillary's choice for U.S. Secretary of the Army for months and months.
He also pulls a Frank Underwood by killing his former pastor by throwing him towards a moving train , without being detected by cameras.
He also pulls a Frank Underwood by killing his former pastor by throwing him towards a moving train , without being detected by cameras.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on April 25, 2014, 07:30:54 PM
I really wished my "Hilfly is a crack baby" survived long enough to make it here. Alas, it was deleted too soon :(.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SPC on April 26, 2014, 02:25:41 AM
Absolutely horrible, but I think I'm allergic to it. The fumes alone make me nauseous. If someone is brewing tea around me, I'll have to leave the room to avoid throwing up.
How can you stand to stay in Mississippi then?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on April 26, 2014, 05:25:28 AM
Over the last couple months especially (though it's existed as a problem for the past year), I've gained something of a reputation as an overly bitter troll of the far-right variety (as well as general sage-shaming). I've cognitively understood that I'm probably not bringing much positive contribution to the revolution, though by virtue of having a rather dull life outside Wall Street (and more and more in Wall Street :p) and having been in a chronically neoliberal mood for a while now (though I've felt a bit socialistic lately), I haven't really made an effort to improve myself as a friend.
So I'm sorry to those I've needlessly gone after or tried to get a rise out of Snowstalker, and to the forum in general for being something of a centrist troll. Will I be fine after this? Of course not, and I still have rather normal views (though that doesn't excuse me being a poor man's oakvale about them). But hopefully with some encouragement I can improve myself and reestablish myself as a valued and veteran contributor to the People's Revolution. :)
So I'm sorry to those I've needlessly gone after or tried to get a rise out of Snowstalker, and to the forum in general for being something of a centrist troll. Will I be fine after this? Of course not, and I still have rather normal views (though that doesn't excuse me being a poor man's oakvale about them). But hopefully with some encouragement I can improve myself and reestablish myself as a valued and veteran contributor to the People's Revolution. :)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: PiMp DaDdy FitzGerald on April 26, 2014, 11:41:05 AM
No (not Michael Bloomberg)
Since when is Bloomberg against caffeine? He's against sugary sodas.
But, Bloomberg is a financial industry guy so I assume he's a big supporter of caffeine, amphetamines and cocaine.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sol on April 26, 2014, 05:33:04 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=191564.0
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Hifly on April 27, 2014, 06:16:17 AM
I really wished my "Hilfly is a crack baby" survived long enough to make it here. Alas, it was deleted too soon :(.
That was one of the single most disgusting things I have ever read on this forum, and not just because it involved me, but what it meant for kids with birth defects.
The fact that is was moderated without me even reporting it says a lot.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on April 28, 2014, 10:54:40 AM
Note-perfect Sam Spade parody:
Are you doing your best to imitate the Oracle at Delphi? Spit it out, MM.
Be patient.
Whether he's an FF or an HP should be clear to anyone who's been paying attention…..not that I expect that many of you are smart enough to realize that. Look, it should be obvious that the vote in this thread is going to go one of two ways. I'm pretty sure I know which way that's going to be, but it depends on two factors that you probably aren't considering.
Are you doing your best to imitate the Oracle at Delphi? Spit it out, MM.
Be patient.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: MATTROSE94 on April 28, 2014, 04:14:07 PM
I'm not trying to be disparaging in saying this, but I really do see her later years having a very tragic E! True Hollywood Story quality to them - probably involving bankruptcy, marital issues, family strife and/or drug/alcohol issues. Notoriety is like a drug that she keeps charging towards headfirst, and people like that rarely have happy endings.
Sometime in the early 2020s, there will be some sort of "Where Are They Now?" segment and we'll find out that Sarah Palin is trying to piece her life back together after her estranged husband Todd assaulted her with a barbeque fork and spent all their reality show money on ATVs and Bass Pro Shops merchandise. Maybe she'll get arrested. Maybe she'll appear on a reality show with D-list celebrities. Maybe she'll do infomercials for reverse mortgages.
Sometime in the early 2020s, there will be some sort of "Where Are They Now?" segment and we'll find out that Sarah Palin is trying to piece her life back together after her estranged husband Todd assaulted her with a barbeque fork and spent all their reality show money on ATVs and Bass Pro Shops merchandise. Maybe she'll get arrested. Maybe she'll appear on a reality show with D-list celebrities. Maybe she'll do infomercials for reverse mortgages.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on April 28, 2014, 07:30:09 PM
You win the thread.
I don't know, Antonio's wasp sting comes pretty close I think. I'm kidding of course.
I dunno, I think men having to listen to women talk about childbirth is pretty painful too.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sol on April 30, 2014, 09:49:19 PM
OMFG: according to the Star, rumour has it that the third video is a sex tape.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on May 01, 2014, 04:56:30 PM
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!
love and waffles,
t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!
love and waffles,
t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on May 01, 2014, 05:00:33 PM
I voted to say I wanted Nunn to win, so why didn't I get Handel?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on May 03, 2014, 12:01:05 PM
Because virtually anywhere in the world apart from on this forum an undergraduate acceptance into either Oxford or Cambridge of all places is looked upon in that way, and you should be able to understand why without too much difficulty, and those who know anything about the undergraduate admissions process realise that people who are not intelligent or highly academic are not accepted into these institutions. And for as long as certain persons accuse me of being unintelligent because I articulate my socially conservative views then I shall remind them, even though it is equally condescending.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on May 03, 2014, 04:26:30 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=191927.0
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sol on May 03, 2014, 06:18:06 PM
Ugh. I was so hoping this would be about RuPaul.
RuPaul might as well be a GOP candidate.
"Gurrl, you better work!" -Rep. RuPaul (R-CA), explaining her decision to vote against extending unemployment benefits
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on May 05, 2014, 12:39:48 PM
Please, Peter, Afleich, would it be possible to give death points to Snowstalker when he's being a pro Russian sage, thanks. Maybe he will finally be muted.
I will now report every Snowstalker's posts when he will be disgusting with the Ukrainians.
I will now report every Snowstalker's posts when he will be disgusting with the Ukrainians.
Why do so many people on this forums have this perception that disagreeing with them is somehow or should be an infractable/banable offense? I mean it's bad enough how many people practically have the entire forum on ignore spare a few people who agree with them on everything.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Zanas on May 06, 2014, 08:51:44 AM
Please, Peter, Afleich, would it be possible to give death points to Snowstalker when he's being a pro Russian sage, thanks. Maybe he will finally be muted.
I will now report every Snowstalker's posts when he will be disgusting with the Ukrainians.
I will now report every Snowstalker's posts when he will be disgusting with the Ukrainians.
Why do so many people on this forums have this perception that disagreeing with them is somehow or should be an infractable/banable offense? I mean it's bad enough how many people practically have the entire forum on ignore spare a few people who agree with them on everything.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on May 07, 2014, 01:53:54 PM
This was pretty bad social justice warrior policy since as we know frats are the gayest things on the planet. Are SJWs endorsing homophobia? Discuss.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on May 07, 2014, 03:28:46 PM
Don't worry, everyone who has posted in this thread will be beheaded in due course, insha'Allah.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Badger on May 07, 2014, 08:45:23 PM
Context needed.
Perhaps I should order me a tiara to wear while posting.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on May 07, 2014, 09:58:40 PM
You are far closer in your political views to Ted Cruz and Michele Bachmann than you are to me.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: DC Al Fine on May 07, 2014, 10:34:33 PM
He seems to be like Mike Huckabee in the sense he is more of a social conservative, like he is not that economically conservative.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholicism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholicism)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on May 08, 2014, 06:41:30 AM
Opening up is how the whole fiasco started.
Sometimes the easy joke needs to be made.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on May 08, 2014, 09:56:45 AM
We can now report that President Obama, Vice-President Biden, and every other Democratic elected official in the country have flown to Harrisburg to announce their resignation and permanent retirement from politics. One top Democratic strategist who wished to remain anonymous said that "after the Kane scandal, everyone just collectively decided to call it a day. I mean, given that it was basically the biggest scandal in American history and its unprecedented importance to voters throughout the country, we all sort of went 'why even bother anymore?''' The Democratic Party is expected to wait until Friday to formally dissolve in order to give Pennsylvania Democrats time to replace their platform with a resolution declaring that Tom Corbett shall henceforth be known as "Eternal Governor and Savior of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania."
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on May 08, 2014, 10:58:17 AM
My suggestion to PPP: only one vote per zip code as identified by GPS.
Not sure you quite get how the internet works….
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Kushahontas on May 09, 2014, 01:41:14 PM
"PROBABLY HAS MORE INDIE/PUNK ROCK RECORD STORES THAN SUBURBS, USA SO YEAH DEF!"
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on May 09, 2014, 02:15:38 PM
There shall be no law governing this. Who ever is an adult and wishes to make a porn, make it. Who ever is an adult, or whose parents consent to watching porn, should be free to watch it.
I guess we can just lock the thread now. God has spoken.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Keystone Phil on May 09, 2014, 09:16:22 PM
From the makers of "Lovin' on kids"...
OK-1 is extremely Republican [even for Oklahoma], and Bridenstine isn't going face a credible challenger, to his right or to his left. The only reason Sullivan was held to relatively weak margins for a long time was because he had a relatively strong opponent and he's scandal ridden and rehab prone. Since Sullivan's been defeated, this district won't be competitive any time soon.
In fact, Bridenstine is running completely unopposed.
Bridenstine is one of the better House Republicans in mind - fairly anti-leadership, voted with the Amash defund the NSA bill. That being said, he's also kind of a fringe character, more in line with Ted Cruz than Rand Paul. You probably won't like him.
I'll have to give him time to prove himself to me. I'm not going to pass judgment on someone I've only been under for 2 weeks.[/bW
Max,
I'm new to OK-1. Do you know if there are any viable candidates running for Bridenstine's seat on either side of the aisle? How do you like Bridenstine?
I'm new to OK-1. Do you know if there are any viable candidates running for Bridenstine's seat on either side of the aisle? How do you like Bridenstine?
OK-1 is extremely Republican [even for Oklahoma], and Bridenstine isn't going face a credible challenger, to his right or to his left. The only reason Sullivan was held to relatively weak margins for a long time was because he had a relatively strong opponent and he's scandal ridden and rehab prone. Since Sullivan's been defeated, this district won't be competitive any time soon.
In fact, Bridenstine is running completely unopposed.
Bridenstine is one of the better House Republicans in mind - fairly anti-leadership, voted with the Amash defund the NSA bill. That being said, he's also kind of a fringe character, more in line with Ted Cruz than Rand Paul. You probably won't like him.
I'll have to give him time to prove himself to me. I'm not going to pass judgment on someone I've only been under for 2 weeks.[/bW
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on May 10, 2014, 11:58:56 AM
Note of caution that GA undecideds historically break like two-to-one for the GOP
Shh BK don't ruin our fun while it lasts
()
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sol on May 11, 2014, 09:02:38 AM
This thread has confirmed Hifly as the absolute wurst.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on May 11, 2014, 09:21:56 AM
Probably Reagan, but for reasons largely unrelated to their respective actions.
This is the correct answer.
Obviously, given that Carter left office with double-digit unemployment and rampant inflation.
Not to mention with Ronald Reagan as President.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🦀🎂🦀🎂 on May 11, 2014, 05:45:19 PM
Clearly this has ruined traditional marriage for every heterosexual person in Arkansas.
At least now Bill has an excuse.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on May 12, 2014, 07:34:26 PM
Context (also deserves a spot in the Simple Truths Silver Mine)
Isn't this exactly the kind of person you'd want to put on a reality television show?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Zanas on May 13, 2014, 08:24:27 AM
So we could have our first black-pink government.
Does OVP prefer NEOS to FPO?
Oh yes! The FPÖ isn't a right-wing party similar to Republicans, it's a far right populist, xenophobic, anti-EU party.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mordecai on May 13, 2014, 01:19:12 PM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: morgieb on May 14, 2014, 03:20:03 AM
So this creates an interesting logic problem - if this poll (as I assume it will) indicates a consensus for "yes" I'll have to start basing my opinions on the forum consensus.
Welcome to the forum consensus. Here's your complimentary Ready for Hillary bumper sticker and Same Love vinyl.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mordecai on May 14, 2014, 07:30:13 AM
Any of these VP choices would be a stronger candidate than O'Malley himself.
()
Too charismatic, he'll outshine O'Malley every time they appear together.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on May 14, 2014, 03:48:58 PM
I think this poll is another outlier, and this race is still a toss-up. Ed FitzGerald is a brilliant candidate. He has shown by being the mayor of my city, the Cuyahoga County Executive, and the best-looking politician in the country, that he can win this race and that he cares about the people, unlike the people who are looking out for their own interests. However, John KaSick and Jon Husted's racist voter suppression tactics have shown that in reality, Republicans are desperate to win this race.
I will be waiting for a reliable pollster like PPP or Rasmussen to poll this race before trusting Kasichpiac. It is clear that Quinnipiac's pro-Kasich bias is skewing these numbers In addition to the sketchy numbers, voter registration does not add up, saying that this poll is 29-29 Democratic. They clearly should have been sampled more Democrats, and it shows that FitzGerald is a perfect candidate for the job.. In a reality, if this poll was real, Kasich only leads by 45-40, which puts FitzGerald in a perfect place to take the Governorship. Once people learn about Republicans' assault on blacks, women, and gays, and that FitzGerald will #KeepOhioStrong, they are doomed.
I will be waiting for a reliable pollster like PPP or Rasmussen to poll this race before trusting Kasichpiac. It is clear that Quinnipiac's pro-Kasich bias is skewing these numbers In addition to the sketchy numbers, voter registration does not add up, saying that this poll is 29-29 Democratic. They clearly should have been sampled more Democrats, and it shows that FitzGerald is a perfect candidate for the job.. In a reality, if this poll was real, Kasich only leads by 45-40, which puts FitzGerald in a perfect place to take the Governorship. Once people learn about Republicans' assault on blacks, women, and gays, and that FitzGerald will #KeepOhioStrong, they are doomed.
Brilliant.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SWE on May 14, 2014, 08:26:15 PM
Massive Republican wave, naturally.
If you people seriously think that the death of an American Ambassador, a great representative of the public service, is going to go unnoticed any longer you are clearly insane. Nobody thought that the Watergate Breakins were a serious issue in 1972 when Nixon won a landslide, what makes you think that we are suddenly going to give up because Obama and his race baiting socialist cronies pulled a fast one on the American public in 2012? If this were just some innocent mistake, like the Great Ministry of Propaganda keeps insisting it is, then why oh why can't Hitlerly and crew give us a straight and honest answer?
I mean for crying out loud, it's Benghazi damn it! Dead bodies! An ambassador murdered on American soil! An aloof and careless Executive who blames "Islamophobia" first and terrorism last! BENGHAZI! HOW MANY MORE TIMES DO WE HAVE TO SAY IT!? HOW LONG? HOW LONG MUST WE SING THIS SONG?
Instead of straight answers, the Administration and it's tyrannical allies, like Hitlerly, have evaded all reasonable inquiries into the death of a faithful public servant. Whatever they say are going to be lies, and the American people know it! And they will show that they know it when they elect a massive Republican wave in the House and the Senate! And just to think that this could've all been avoided for the Great Messiah and his army of cronies if he, the Secretary of Statism, and other members of the Administration gave us the straight story straight from the beginning!
As far as I'm concerned, there is no greater issue than Benghazi. American democracy and the will of the people, and the future thereof, will be decided by how the American public and the law system responds to this great calamity. Those who think otherwise, well they are just as criminal and fraudulent as the statist Islamophiles that allowed this to happen. That such liars, cowards, and moral degenerates can get elected now days is testament to how much this nation has fallen. However, the truth of Benghazi shall prove to be so overwhelming that everybody and their grandmother will kneel and confess aloud that Barack Hussein Obama II is a crook. For all of time his name, and the name of the Traitor Party that follows him, shall be associated with corruption, lies, damned lies, and more damned lies.
Seriously, no chance in hell libs. It's time you start applying for welfare, cos your asses are getting kicked out come November!
If you people seriously think that the death of an American Ambassador, a great representative of the public service, is going to go unnoticed any longer you are clearly insane. Nobody thought that the Watergate Breakins were a serious issue in 1972 when Nixon won a landslide, what makes you think that we are suddenly going to give up because Obama and his race baiting socialist cronies pulled a fast one on the American public in 2012? If this were just some innocent mistake, like the Great Ministry of Propaganda keeps insisting it is, then why oh why can't Hitlerly and crew give us a straight and honest answer?
I mean for crying out loud, it's Benghazi damn it! Dead bodies! An ambassador murdered on American soil! An aloof and careless Executive who blames "Islamophobia" first and terrorism last! BENGHAZI! HOW MANY MORE TIMES DO WE HAVE TO SAY IT!? HOW LONG? HOW LONG MUST WE SING THIS SONG?
Instead of straight answers, the Administration and it's tyrannical allies, like Hitlerly, have evaded all reasonable inquiries into the death of a faithful public servant. Whatever they say are going to be lies, and the American people know it! And they will show that they know it when they elect a massive Republican wave in the House and the Senate! And just to think that this could've all been avoided for the Great Messiah and his army of cronies if he, the Secretary of Statism, and other members of the Administration gave us the straight story straight from the beginning!
As far as I'm concerned, there is no greater issue than Benghazi. American democracy and the will of the people, and the future thereof, will be decided by how the American public and the law system responds to this great calamity. Those who think otherwise, well they are just as criminal and fraudulent as the statist Islamophiles that allowed this to happen. That such liars, cowards, and moral degenerates can get elected now days is testament to how much this nation has fallen. However, the truth of Benghazi shall prove to be so overwhelming that everybody and their grandmother will kneel and confess aloud that Barack Hussein Obama II is a crook. For all of time his name, and the name of the Traitor Party that follows him, shall be associated with corruption, lies, damned lies, and more damned lies.
Seriously, no chance in hell libs. It's time you start applying for welfare, cos your asses are getting kicked out come November!
You dare question my sincerity lieberal?
The only people who are sarcastic are the meanspirited and downright immoral and corrupt liberals who seem hellbent on forcing every state and city ever to accept gay marriages while bowing down hand and foot to the Islamic fascist forces in the Middle East!
How dare you question me sir? HOW DARE YOU!?
From now on, consider this the Benghazi Channel! 24 hours a day! Seven days a week! Until American knows the truth! Damn it!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on May 14, 2014, 09:24:53 PM
If the forum consensus is that Obamanation is an awful poster, does this mean oakvale and him are now best friends?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on May 15, 2014, 07:14:24 AM
Would an international friend zone be something along the lines of the following?
israel: hey palestine can we have all your stuff
palestine: no can we just be friends
israel: god palestine you're such a bitch i hate you
israel: hey palestine can we have all your stuff
palestine: no can we just be friends
israel: god palestine you're such a bitch i hate you
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on May 15, 2014, 08:27:02 PM
Lol for the Tito-Stalinism part...
For some reason I've misread that as Tiso-Stalinism
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on May 17, 2014, 12:21:21 PM
Damn. Kasich is another one who needs to be put back in his place.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Tender Branson on May 17, 2014, 12:27:25 PM
Click for context:
One is an embarrassing, confused and disturbed person with serious sexual identity issues and the other won the Eurovision.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on May 17, 2014, 07:56:15 PM
Hillary was an unapologetic supporter of the Iraq War.
Next question.
Next question.
The Republican who beats any non-Hillary Democratic nominee will be too.
I didn't realize Hillary was a Republican too! Now that you mention it, that makes a lot of sense...
Progressive Realist's post probably also belongs in the simple truths silver mine.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on May 17, 2014, 09:20:22 PM
I laughed at this more than I probably should:
()
bjpsupporters.jpg
bjpsupporters.jpg
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on May 18, 2014, 04:37:12 PM
So this creates an interesting logic problem - if this poll (as I assume it will) indicates a consensus for "yes" I'll have to start basing my opinions on the forum consensus.
Welcome to the forum consensus. Here's your complimentary Ready for Hillary bumper sticker and Same Love vinyl.
Atlas Forum Consensus:
()
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on May 19, 2014, 12:28:11 AM
I'm hoping to start recycling more of my trash in the near future, FTR.
What are the potential obstacles you may encounter on this admirable quest?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on May 19, 2014, 01:04:47 AM
Spoken like a true Oxford man.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on May 19, 2014, 03:57:09 PM
Starting my first day of work tomorrow. Bought some trousers today. Hopefully the free welcome breakfast is good.
Call center, perhaps? ;)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on May 19, 2014, 08:19:51 PM
How many religions are based on math, logic, reason or science?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Hatman 🍁 on May 19, 2014, 10:10:32 PM
How can you over-egg the pudding if you don't eat any meat?!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Zanas on May 20, 2014, 03:33:39 AM
Context.
But now, after having (sort of) defended SAP I'll need to have a long long shower while crying in a fetal position. Excuse me.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on May 20, 2014, 03:43:09 PM
Time for a lawsuit against the right-wing school officials.
Sometimes I get the feeling that something traumatic happened to you as a child, perhaps a vending machine ate your dollar, and you swore to forever hate all things free market related. In your anger you began to associate anything bad in your life with the "right wing". Your bike got a flat tire, "Damn capitalist tire manufactures!" A fellow OWS person accidentally steps on your toe at a rally "Watch it you teabagging fascist!"
You may benefit from talking to a therapist about this.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on May 21, 2014, 12:16:49 AM
I'd love to see a reverse article interviewing a bunch of millionaires in Manhattan and Connecticut and then proclaiming that the GOP is wrecked because it's losing its core constituency and needs to run a Mike Bloomberg to win those people back.
That article would be missing the point on roughly the same scale.
That article would be missing the point on roughly the same scale.
I did my best:
Falls Church (United States) (AFP) - Jim Feltner's days are empty. He is a rich man in one of the richest counties in the United States and has never used unemployment benefits or food stamps in his life.
But the Northern Virginia resident has nothing but scorn for the Republican Party, which wants to relieve people like him of the burden of paying for those who actually do use food stamps and unemployment.
Feltner sits in a hard wooden chair at an Au Bon Pain in Alexandria, his MacBook Air perched in front of him.
People around here, he says, are "thriving, indisputably. I know, because I'm one of them."
Armed with two master's degrees, he lives off a salary he receives working as a healthcare management consultant in Deloitte's public sector consultancy practice.
Feltner voted for George H. W. Bush in 1988 when he was an undergraduate at Tufts University, but now says: "I will vote for anybody against the Republican Party."
"I don't care who the Democrat is, I'll vote for him or her. I don't care if they're a pedophile, a convicted felon, an Indian, a Pakistani, even someone who attended an SEC school!"
"They talk about this Real America and Fake America and make fun of the president for going to Harvard. I mean, I did post-graduate work there,'" Feltner alleged.
"Is that something for a major political party to say?," he added. "They have a problem with the educated people."
The same aversion to the Republicans is heard to the north, in Suffolk County, New York.
Alison Dahlberg-Tate, 38, whose necklace of pea-sized pearls hugs her slender neck, says she does not care about politics. She hasn't thought about it since her senior seminar at Sarah Lawrence. But one thing is clear: she does not like the Republican Party.
"I guess Republicans just worry about money in their pocket, what they and their friends are doing. They're not worried the poor, about the women, about the people who have been victimized in this patriarchal society," Dahlberg-Tate said, stepping onto her sailing yacht.
"The Democrats, they are the ones who get us," Dahlberg-Tate added, as her husband Hugh Marsden "Skip" Tate, IV, climbed aboard the vessel with a picnic basket.
"And what if we make poor women pay for birth control? I mean we might as well be in Somalia," Dahlberg-Tate said. She and her husband receives $3,800 each week from the H. M. Tate, Jr. Family Trust, the bulk of which goes to supporting their dogs Millie and Beckett. Skip's freelance public relations work for a New York City-based tech startup is their only other source of income.
"It's unfortunate, when the checks come out, there's a festival atmosphere in the bank," said Mike Bryant, director of client relations for Northern Trust's wealth management division, which oversees the distribution of trust fund dividends to their heirs.
"If someone dared say, I already paid for four years at Haverford and grad school at Yale and you're not getting anything else out of me, it's going to be a really awkward Memorial Day Weekend at the Cape," he said.
Could also be posted to the GPG.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on May 22, 2014, 07:01:18 AM
The Tsar's hysterical behavior only shows the world he has suffered a mental breakdown and is therefore medically unfit to exercises his authority.
There is no other option but to recognize that the Tsar is incapacitated and wait for anyone, who is really in charge in Petrograd, to speak of Russia's behalf.
Ottoman Empire's out.
There is no other option but to recognize that the Tsar is incapacitated and wait for anyone, who is really in charge in Petrograd, to speak of Russia's behalf.
Ottoman Empire's out.
See context!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on May 22, 2014, 06:09:05 PM
Cuomo-Hochul sounds like a terrifying Aztec deity.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on May 22, 2014, 08:07:59 PM
I'm almost done with 7th grade!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Linus Van Pelt on May 22, 2014, 08:59:21 PM
Of course Latin America comes out on top in wellness, Gallup doesn't sample Latinos.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on May 22, 2014, 09:04:27 PM
The one who didn't make terrible music.
So Soulja Boy :P
nah, Meursault and his album Marxist G.O.P. is one of the best things to happen in avant-garde hip-hop in years.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on May 23, 2014, 07:15:38 AM
Of course Latin America comes out on top in wellness, Gallup doesn't sample Latinos.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on May 23, 2014, 02:42:45 PM
I believe that pornography should be illegal.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on May 23, 2014, 05:28:33 PM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on May 23, 2014, 05:38:10 PM
This Sunday a referendum on annexation of Rostov-on-Don was conducted in Odessa. Long lines of voters were observed in front of the polling booths. According to organizers, 146% of the participants voted in favor of incorporation of Rostov into Odessa.
http://dumskaya.net/news/odessity-proveli-referendum-o-prisoedinenii-rost-035808/
http://dumskaya.net/news/odessity-proveli-referendum-o-prisoedinenii-rost-035808/
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on May 23, 2014, 08:55:27 PM
What is this? Some sort of competition?
How's Oxford going? You haven't reminded all of us about that in a while.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: badgate on May 24, 2014, 03:07:07 PM
February 29, 2004
Fundraiser at Timber Lake Playhouse, Mount Carroll, Illinois (For Barack Obama, Daniel Hynes, Inez Tannenbaum, Tom Daschle, Betty Castor and Peter Deutsch) (Performing Beauty and the Beast; Special Hybrid Edtion)
()
(Casting for Beauty and the Beast; Babette; Patti LaBelle. Monsiuer D'Arque; Jeremy Irons. The Bimbettes; Britney Spears, Anika Noni Rose and Tia Carrrere. Wardrobe (Madam Grande La Bouche) Madonna. Lefou; Howie Mandel. Maurice; Sylvester Stallone. Chip; Scott Irby-Ranniar
Mrs Potts; Angela Lansbury. Cogsworth; Neil Patrick Harris. Lumiere; Michael Gambon. Gaston; Pierce Brosnan. Beast; Brad Pitt. Belle; Celine Dion; Narrator; Tom Vilsack)
Fundraiser at Timber Lake Playhouse, Mount Carroll, Illinois (For Barack Obama, Daniel Hynes, Inez Tannenbaum, Tom Daschle, Betty Castor and Peter Deutsch) (Performing Beauty and the Beast; Special Hybrid Edtion)
()
(Casting for Beauty and the Beast; Babette; Patti LaBelle. Monsiuer D'Arque; Jeremy Irons. The Bimbettes; Britney Spears, Anika Noni Rose and Tia Carrrere. Wardrobe (Madam Grande La Bouche) Madonna. Lefou; Howie Mandel. Maurice; Sylvester Stallone. Chip; Scott Irby-Ranniar
Mrs Potts; Angela Lansbury. Cogsworth; Neil Patrick Harris. Lumiere; Michael Gambon. Gaston; Pierce Brosnan. Beast; Brad Pitt. Belle; Celine Dion; Narrator; Tom Vilsack)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Donerail on May 24, 2014, 04:10:53 PM
February 29, 2004
Fundraiser at Timber Lake Playhouse, Mount Carroll, Illinois (For Barack Obama, Daniel Hynes, Inez Tannenbaum, Tom Daschle, Betty Castor and Peter Deutsch) (Performing Beauty and the Beast; Special Hybrid Edtion)
()
(Casting for Beauty and the Beast; Babette; Patti LaBelle. Monsiuer D'Arque; Jeremy Irons. The Bimbettes; Britney Spears, Anika Noni Rose and Tia Carrrere. Wardrobe (Madam Grande La Bouche) Madonna. Lefou; Howie Mandel. Maurice; Sylvester Stallone. Chip; Scott Irby-Ranniar
Mrs Potts; Angela Lansbury. Cogsworth; Neil Patrick Harris. Lumiere; Michael Gambon. Gaston; Pierce Brosnan. Beast; Brad Pitt. Belle; Celine Dion; Narrator; Tom Vilsack)
Fundraiser at Timber Lake Playhouse, Mount Carroll, Illinois (For Barack Obama, Daniel Hynes, Inez Tannenbaum, Tom Daschle, Betty Castor and Peter Deutsch) (Performing Beauty and the Beast; Special Hybrid Edtion)
()
(Casting for Beauty and the Beast; Babette; Patti LaBelle. Monsiuer D'Arque; Jeremy Irons. The Bimbettes; Britney Spears, Anika Noni Rose and Tia Carrrere. Wardrobe (Madam Grande La Bouche) Madonna. Lefou; Howie Mandel. Maurice; Sylvester Stallone. Chip; Scott Irby-Ranniar
Mrs Potts; Angela Lansbury. Cogsworth; Neil Patrick Harris. Lumiere; Michael Gambon. Gaston; Pierce Brosnan. Beast; Brad Pitt. Belle; Celine Dion; Narrator; Tom Vilsack)
I know that, whenever I'm putting on a production of Beauty and the Beast in Illinois for the South Carolina Superintendent of Education, I have it narrated by the Governor of Iowa.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on May 24, 2014, 11:38:17 PM
February 29, 2004
Fundraiser at Timber Lake Playhouse, Mount Carroll, Illinois (For Barack Obama, Daniel Hynes, Inez Tannenbaum, Tom Daschle, Betty Castor and Peter Deutsch) (Performing Beauty and the Beast; Special Hybrid Edtion)
()
(Casting for Beauty and the Beast; Babette; Patti LaBelle. Monsiuer D'Arque; Jeremy Irons. The Bimbettes; Britney Spears, Anika Noni Rose and Tia Carrrere. Wardrobe (Madam Grande La Bouche) Madonna. Lefou; Howie Mandel. Maurice; Sylvester Stallone. Chip; Scott Irby-Ranniar
Mrs Potts; Angela Lansbury. Cogsworth; Neil Patrick Harris. Lumiere; Michael Gambon. Gaston; Pierce Brosnan. Beast; Brad Pitt. Belle; Celine Dion; Narrator; Tom Vilsack)
Fundraiser at Timber Lake Playhouse, Mount Carroll, Illinois (For Barack Obama, Daniel Hynes, Inez Tannenbaum, Tom Daschle, Betty Castor and Peter Deutsch) (Performing Beauty and the Beast; Special Hybrid Edtion)
()
(Casting for Beauty and the Beast; Babette; Patti LaBelle. Monsiuer D'Arque; Jeremy Irons. The Bimbettes; Britney Spears, Anika Noni Rose and Tia Carrrere. Wardrobe (Madam Grande La Bouche) Madonna. Lefou; Howie Mandel. Maurice; Sylvester Stallone. Chip; Scott Irby-Ranniar
Mrs Potts; Angela Lansbury. Cogsworth; Neil Patrick Harris. Lumiere; Michael Gambon. Gaston; Pierce Brosnan. Beast; Brad Pitt. Belle; Celine Dion; Narrator; Tom Vilsack)
I know that, whenever I'm putting on a production of Beauty and the Beast in Illinois for the South Carolina Superintendent of Education, I have it narrated by the Governor of Iowa.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on May 24, 2014, 11:46:19 PM
February 29, 2004
Fundraiser at Timber Lake Playhouse, Mount Carroll, Illinois (For Barack Obama, Daniel Hynes, Inez Tannenbaum, Tom Daschle, Betty Castor and Peter Deutsch) (Performing Beauty and the Beast; Special Hybrid Edtion)
()
(Casting for Beauty and the Beast; Babette; Patti LaBelle. Monsiuer D'Arque; Jeremy Irons. The Bimbettes; Britney Spears, Anika Noni Rose and Tia Carrrere. Wardrobe (Madam Grande La Bouche) Madonna. Lefou; Howie Mandel. Maurice; Sylvester Stallone. Chip; Scott Irby-Ranniar
Mrs Potts; Angela Lansbury. Cogsworth; Neil Patrick Harris. Lumiere; Michael Gambon. Gaston; Pierce Brosnan. Beast; Brad Pitt. Belle; Celine Dion; Narrator; Tom Vilsack)
Fundraiser at Timber Lake Playhouse, Mount Carroll, Illinois (For Barack Obama, Daniel Hynes, Inez Tannenbaum, Tom Daschle, Betty Castor and Peter Deutsch) (Performing Beauty and the Beast; Special Hybrid Edtion)
()
(Casting for Beauty and the Beast; Babette; Patti LaBelle. Monsiuer D'Arque; Jeremy Irons. The Bimbettes; Britney Spears, Anika Noni Rose and Tia Carrrere. Wardrobe (Madam Grande La Bouche) Madonna. Lefou; Howie Mandel. Maurice; Sylvester Stallone. Chip; Scott Irby-Ranniar
Mrs Potts; Angela Lansbury. Cogsworth; Neil Patrick Harris. Lumiere; Michael Gambon. Gaston; Pierce Brosnan. Beast; Brad Pitt. Belle; Celine Dion; Narrator; Tom Vilsack)
()
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on May 24, 2014, 11:48:58 PM
I love that post. It's so bizarre at the beginning, and as you read it, you're kind of smiling at how strange it is that someone would list this out and pick these specific actors, and then you read the last name, Tom Vilsack, and suddenly he turns it up to 11 on the crazy scale and it's brilliant and you can't stop laughing. Bravo.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on May 24, 2014, 11:59:12 PM
"Scott Irby-Ranniar"
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: badgate on May 25, 2014, 04:14:57 AM
"Scott Irby-Ranniar"
He played Young Simba in the 1998 original Broadway cast of the Lion King.
http://youtu.be/ryhslEPIUH0
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on May 25, 2014, 07:45:15 AM
Tom Vilsack? Wha-
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Donerail on May 25, 2014, 09:02:50 AM
Senator Chuck Schumer
Appear on Hour Long Special Episode of 30 Minute Meals (With Rachel Ray, cooking "Fifty States of Clam Chowder") at the Culinary Institute of America, Hyde Park New York (Which did full mock-up of Ray's kitchen set for the occasion) (Will air Friday July 2, 2012 as Part of Food Network's July Fourth Programming)
()
February 27, 2004
Guest Play by Play announcer for U.S v Brazil Football friendly at Estadio do Maracana, Rio De Janerio, Brazil (position taken after Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter both declined) (Game is on ABC, ESPN2, ESPN Radio and ESPN Brasil) (Dubbed in Portuguese, with Andres Cantor and David Fehrety)
()
()
February 28, 2004
Samba Party with Landon Donovan, Clint Dempsey and Bruce Arena in Rio de Janerio, Brazil
Appear on Hour Long Special Episode of 30 Minute Meals (With Rachel Ray, cooking "Fifty States of Clam Chowder") at the Culinary Institute of America, Hyde Park New York (Which did full mock-up of Ray's kitchen set for the occasion) (Will air Friday July 2, 2012 as Part of Food Network's July Fourth Programming)
()
February 27, 2004
Guest Play by Play announcer for U.S v Brazil Football friendly at Estadio do Maracana, Rio De Janerio, Brazil (position taken after Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter both declined) (Game is on ABC, ESPN2, ESPN Radio and ESPN Brasil) (Dubbed in Portuguese, with Andres Cantor and David Fehrety)
()
()
February 28, 2004
Samba Party with Landon Donovan, Clint Dempsey and Bruce Arena in Rio de Janerio, Brazil
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on May 25, 2014, 02:04:02 PM
Press the button, Obama.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on May 25, 2014, 02:34:43 PM
NewYorkExpress is somehow both a spambot and severely mentally ill.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on May 25, 2014, 03:19:01 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=192793.0
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: morgieb on May 25, 2014, 05:53:12 PM
NYE has to be the most elaborate troll on the board. No other explanation.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sol on May 25, 2014, 07:30:43 PM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on May 26, 2014, 02:02:57 AM
NewYorkExpress is somehow both a spambot and severely mentally ill.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: morgieb on May 26, 2014, 03:04:54 AM
Depends. Are the brahs in question also banksters?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on May 26, 2014, 03:58:04 PM
Very well, insolent man. We hope you will retain your good humor when facing your maker.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on May 26, 2014, 05:52:07 PM
Firstly, who dares post an election map from some other place on the US Election Atlas, with the wrong color scheme used? And secondly, why is New Brunswick suddenly located between Kansas and South Dakota?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Donerail on May 26, 2014, 06:42:48 PM
In the race for Arizona's two Corporation Commission Seats, we project that Brenda Burns will be re-elected with token opposition, and that Gary Pierce's seat (Pierce is term limited, and is running for Mine Inspector) will be picked up by Democrat (and former Corporation Commissioner) Paul Newman who defeats Jerome Mayor Nikki Check.
Arizona Corporation Commission Seat "GP" 69% Reporting
()
Paul Newman (D) 53%
Nikki Check (R) 46%
In the race for Arizona Mine Inspector, we project incumbent Joe Hart will win unopposed.
Arizona Corporation Commission Seat "GP" 69% Reporting
()
Paul Newman (D) 53%
Nikki Check (R) 46%
In the race for Arizona Mine Inspector, we project incumbent Joe Hart will win unopposed.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on May 27, 2014, 01:34:45 AM
Though I will disagree on what Putin will pursue next after he swallows Donbass; he won't go west immediately. You all may be underestimating the importance of the resource-rich and, in all cases except Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan, fairly pro-Moscow governments which will probably end up as part of Putin's "Union State" thing in Central Asia. If he's to annex Kazakhstan/Kyrgyzstan/Tajikistan he'll have to act before they fall entirely in China's sphere.
There is a complication there. A) Russia only borders on Kazakhstan. B) If the "polite people" show up in Kazakhstan they will be arrested and/or killed within hours. Kazakhstan is a proper dictatorship, if somewhat benevolent. And it has been given warning. Apparently, security services in northern Kazakhstan are super-vigilant already, taking care of shadowing visitors from Russia.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Donerail on May 27, 2014, 06:09:37 AM
Mike Viqueira killed in poison gas attack!
()
Mike Viqueira was killed today in a botched terrorist attack on the White House. The plotters, Idris bin Hamdan al-Fahmy of Nazzan village in Upper Nile province of sudan, and Elkhateb bin Mawnis of Alzanaj oasis in Hail Province of Saudi Arabia, used Phosphonofluoridic acid gas from a rented Shell tanker, releasing the gas all around the vicinity of the American Presidential Palace. Louis E. Imhof III, a candidate for County Clerk in Passaic County, New Jersey, was also killed in the attack, as were seven other non-notables.
()
Mike Viqueira was killed today in a botched terrorist attack on the White House. The plotters, Idris bin Hamdan al-Fahmy of Nazzan village in Upper Nile province of sudan, and Elkhateb bin Mawnis of Alzanaj oasis in Hail Province of Saudi Arabia, used Phosphonofluoridic acid gas from a rented Shell tanker, releasing the gas all around the vicinity of the American Presidential Palace. Louis E. Imhof III, a candidate for County Clerk in Passaic County, New Jersey, was also killed in the attack, as were seven other non-notables.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on May 27, 2014, 11:31:42 AM
It gets better....
Please delete...
No.
Mike Viqueira killed in poison gas attack!
()
Mike Viqueira was killed today in a botched terrorist attack on the White House. The plotters, Idris bin Hamdan al-Fahmy of Nazzan village in Upper Nile province of sudan, and Elkhateb bin Mawnis of Alzanaj oasis in Hail Province of Saudi Arabia, used Phosphonofluoridic acid gas from a rented Shell tanker, releasing the gas all around the vicinity of the American Presidential Palace. Louis E. Imhof III, a candidate for County Clerk in Passaic County, New Jersey, was also killed in the attack, as were seven other non-notables.
()
Mike Viqueira was killed today in a botched terrorist attack on the White House. The plotters, Idris bin Hamdan al-Fahmy of Nazzan village in Upper Nile province of sudan, and Elkhateb bin Mawnis of Alzanaj oasis in Hail Province of Saudi Arabia, used Phosphonofluoridic acid gas from a rented Shell tanker, releasing the gas all around the vicinity of the American Presidential Palace. Louis E. Imhof III, a candidate for County Clerk in Passaic County, New Jersey, was also killed in the attack, as were seven other non-notables.
Please delete...
No.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Hifly on May 27, 2014, 12:01:11 PM
^ That was inconceivably hilarious. I recommend trolling his timeline further. :D
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on May 27, 2014, 04:30:52 PM
A World Cup this year? The last was recent, wasn't it?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on May 27, 2014, 08:00:24 PM
Windhoek, Namibia
Namibian Elections set new turnout record
()
Welcome, I'm Riz Lateef, and we have up-to the minute results on the major International Election tonight, the Presidency of Namibia, where the incumbent Hifkepuyne Pohmaba is currently term-limited. With many serious candidates the race was long and winding, but Namibia has benefited it seems, as turnout of eligible voters has hit a new high, with a preliminary tally of 82% of those eligible to vote turning out to do so. At this time we project that the Foreign Affairs Minister of Namibia, Netumbo Nandi-Ndaiwatah will squeak out a narrow victory in the Presidential race.
Namibia President 100% Reporting
()
Foreign Minister Netumbo Nandi-Ndaiwatah 23%
()
Prime Minister Hage Geingob 21%
()
Windhoek Mayor Agnes Kafula 16%
()
Justice Minister Utoni Nujoma 12%
()
Walvis Bay Mayor Uilika Nambahu 11%
()
Retired Lieutenant General, and former ambassador to Zambia, Martin Shalli 10%
()
Former Cabinet Member Ben Amathila 5%
Namibian Elections set new turnout record
()
Welcome, I'm Riz Lateef, and we have up-to the minute results on the major International Election tonight, the Presidency of Namibia, where the incumbent Hifkepuyne Pohmaba is currently term-limited. With many serious candidates the race was long and winding, but Namibia has benefited it seems, as turnout of eligible voters has hit a new high, with a preliminary tally of 82% of those eligible to vote turning out to do so. At this time we project that the Foreign Affairs Minister of Namibia, Netumbo Nandi-Ndaiwatah will squeak out a narrow victory in the Presidential race.
Namibia President 100% Reporting
()
Foreign Minister Netumbo Nandi-Ndaiwatah 23%
()
Prime Minister Hage Geingob 21%
()
Windhoek Mayor Agnes Kafula 16%
()
Justice Minister Utoni Nujoma 12%
()
Walvis Bay Mayor Uilika Nambahu 11%
()
Retired Lieutenant General, and former ambassador to Zambia, Martin Shalli 10%
()
Former Cabinet Member Ben Amathila 5%
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on May 27, 2014, 08:33:37 PM
The so-called "far right" is, fundamentally, no worse than the peons of neoliberal hegemony that constitute the false political choice citizens are normally faced with. I welcome any attempt to dismantle the abhorrent system of velociraptor capitalism that the workers have been devoured by for far too long. Will the Eurocrats (so-called, of course) wake up? Perhaps.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on May 27, 2014, 08:40:56 PM
The so-called "far right" is, fundamentally, no worse than the peons of neoliberal hegemony that constitute the false political choice citizens are normally faced with. I welcome any attempt to dismantle the abhorrent system of velociraptor capitalism that the workers have been devoured by for far too long. Will the Eurocrats (so-called, of course) wake up? Perhaps.
How is this funny?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sol on May 27, 2014, 09:14:46 PM
Both posts are quite comedic, Scott's moreso.
A degenerate prostitute, like all Italians, of course. Remember, Berlusconi was no different to the false idol Renzi, or the tragically flawed (if well-intentioned) Mussolini himself - Rome has long been the Babylon of our age, so it is unsurprising that the Cuomo family has singlehandedly waged a shameful crusade against the white working classes of New York state for generations. Herr Cuomo's son merely continued this vicious task upon his succession as Il Duce.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on May 27, 2014, 09:23:05 PM
Both posts are quite comedic, Scott's moreso.
A degenerate prostitute, like all Italians, of course. Remember, Berlusconi was no different to the false idol Renzi, or the tragically flawed (if well-intentioned) Mussolini himself - Rome has long been the Babylon of our age, so it is unsurprising that the Cuomo family has singlehandedly waged a shameful crusade against the white working classes of New York state for generations. Herr Cuomo's son merely continued this vicious task upon his succession as Il Duce.
You mean my reply in the original thread?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on May 27, 2014, 11:03:39 PM
CNN BREAKING NEWS
()
Good evening and thank you for joining us this evening, I'm Wolf Blitzer reporting live from the Situation Room. Top story tonight; CNN is projecting that voters on the online forum US Election Atlas have overwhelmingly voted their disapproval of forum member NewYorkExpress, in a crushing vote of no confidence.
Opinion of NewYorkExpress:
Freedom Fighter 28.8%
Horrible Person 71.2%
()
Good evening and thank you for joining us this evening, I'm Wolf Blitzer reporting live from the Situation Room. Top story tonight; CNN is projecting that voters on the online forum US Election Atlas have overwhelmingly voted their disapproval of forum member NewYorkExpress, in a crushing vote of no confidence.
Opinion of NewYorkExpress:
Freedom Fighter 28.8%
Horrible Person 71.2%
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: courts on May 28, 2014, 04:27:43 AM
A degenerate prostitute, like all Italians, of course. Remember, Berlusconi was no different to the false idol Renzi, or the tragically flawed (if well-intentioned) Mussolini himself - Rome has long been the Babylon of our age, so it is unsurprising that the Cuomo family has singlehandedly waged a shameful crusade against the white working classes of New York state for generations. Herr Cuomo's son merely continued this vicious task upon his succession as Il Duce.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mr. Morden on May 28, 2014, 06:24:23 AM
From the thread titled "Do you support eugenics?"
Generally no, but I have second thoughts every day I have to moderate posts....:P
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on May 28, 2014, 11:21:24 AM
I chuckled.
How can you be God and not be able to beat Italy?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on May 29, 2014, 03:09:57 PM
I have Krazen on ignore, what were the poll results?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on May 29, 2014, 03:45:30 PM
Look at the rate of sexual assault in the US armed forces and then tell me more about how our recruits aren't scrapping the bottom of the barrel.
perhaps we should recruit more on college campuses?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on May 29, 2014, 05:32:07 PM
Masked Vigilante on the Loose in Kentucky!
Louisville KY, Eyewitnesses in multiple neighborhoods report seeing a masked man attacking criminals on the street. The man is described as being Caucasian, in his 30's, wearing a red hood and cape, and rambling about everything being part of a vast rightwing conspiracy. Police say this vigilante, going by the name "Bandit, The Worker" is suspected of arson after several private schools in Louisville burned down last month, in addition to charges of obstruction of justice. There is also charges of theft after reports of the Bandit breaking into homes in the wealthier parts of town and stealing all the valuable items in the homes, only to drop them off outside of donation centers.
If you have any information on the Bandit, please contact the Louisville police.
LOL
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on May 29, 2014, 07:40:58 PM
01.05.28
In the context of the book “The Road to Serfdom “, “Presence of mad | Presents of mad”,” is” the best titled sequel of the Obama era. This new sequel of the Serfdom book having the ending would be a great read for all the progressed democrats trying to make sense of the transformation that they voted for.
In the interest of library EPA looking time; in what book section would the “Presence of mad | Presents of mad” rest? Political Science, Environmental, Health - Foods & Nutrition, Religion or Humor.
In the context of the book “The Road to Serfdom “, “Presence of mad | Presents of mad”,” is” the best titled sequel of the Obama era. This new sequel of the Serfdom book having the ending would be a great read for all the progressed democrats trying to make sense of the transformation that they voted for.
In the interest of library EPA looking time; in what book section would the “Presence of mad | Presents of mad” rest? Political Science, Environmental, Health - Foods & Nutrition, Religion or Humor.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on May 30, 2014, 01:42:50 AM
Write-In: Tupac
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Kushahontas on May 30, 2014, 01:51:22 PM
not one bit.
i find myself rooting against the usa. if america does well, that means we will have to hear more about soccer. no one wants that when there is baseball to talk about!
i find myself rooting against the usa. if america does well, that means we will have to hear more about soccer. no one wants that when there is baseball to talk about!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: TNF on May 30, 2014, 02:14:46 PM
Twenty years of 401k contributions: $12000
Money that Boomer actually gets from scumbag company upon retirement because "much economy!": $12
Overpriced Mac POS 2100 or whatever the hell it's called so Oldie can bitch on Facebook about how evil liberals have destroyed the economy: $2100
A New York dinner: $6000, a plate.
Sheltered "liberal" WASPs on the Atlas forum who call a party supposedly only composing of white racist scots-Irish redneck sisterf@@@ing dumbasses from Appalachia who have somehow continued to beat them "dumb": ING PRICELESS
Some people live on the Internet, for the rest of us there is REALITY! If you need help finding it, go see your local unemployment office today!
Money that Boomer actually gets from scumbag company upon retirement because "much economy!": $12
Overpriced Mac POS 2100 or whatever the hell it's called so Oldie can bitch on Facebook about how evil liberals have destroyed the economy: $2100
A New York dinner: $6000, a plate.
Sheltered "liberal" WASPs on the Atlas forum who call a party supposedly only composing of white racist scots-Irish redneck sisterf@@@ing dumbasses from Appalachia who have somehow continued to beat them "dumb": ING PRICELESS
Some people live on the Internet, for the rest of us there is REALITY! If you need help finding it, go see your local unemployment office today!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on May 30, 2014, 04:11:42 PM
Click for context:
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mr. Morden on May 31, 2014, 01:23:13 AM
Click for context:
Doubly funny since the thread topic is "Are you missing Update right now?"
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on May 31, 2014, 03:06:25 AM
(I have a fetish for doing it on July 4).
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on May 31, 2014, 10:12:54 AM
HAHAHHAHAHA.
i was going To do something but now I don't want to do anything because F**K
Close that f**king thread before I get Dave to ban his ass
i was going To do something but now I don't want to do anything because F**K
Close that f**king thread before I get Dave to ban his ass
You really do need a better sleep cure. Not only are your posts bizzare, but you're up at 4:30 AM!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mechaman on May 31, 2014, 12:42:15 PM
HAHAHHAHAHA.
i was going To do something but now I don't want to do anything because F**K
Close that f**king thread before I get Dave to ban his ass
i was going To do something but now I don't want to do anything because F**K
Close that f**king thread before I get Dave to ban his ass
You really do need a better sleep cure. Not only are your posts bizzare, but you're up at 4:30 AM!
It would be easier if he didn't slice off his tits to spite his vagina.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on June 01, 2014, 08:41:38 AM
Context needed
You mean to tell me they're different shows?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on June 01, 2014, 01:57:01 PM
Can someone please tell me who these "unaffiliateds" (who I assume to be agnostic/atheist) are that oppose gay marriage? WTF?
I am unaffiliated.
Well, 23% of the unaffiliated population doesn't go to Oxford.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SWE on June 01, 2014, 02:24:20 PM
>2014
>using Reddit or Tumblr for anything other than porn
>using Reddit or Tumblr for anything other than porn
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: courts on June 01, 2014, 09:06:00 PM
Poly-sexual non-binary individuals
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on June 01, 2014, 10:28:03 PM
In California, Brown squares off against Tim Donnelly, which will be a bloodbath come November.
Hopefully after bathing in blood Jerry Brown will be 10 years younger and launch a Presidential campaign.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on June 02, 2014, 02:58:11 AM
I can't wait for you all to start burning me in effigy.
()
Summer is icumen in,
Loudly sing, cuckoo!
The seed is growing
And the meadow is blooming,
And the wood is coming into leaf now,
Sing, cuckoo!
The ewe is bleating after her lamb,
The cow is lowing after her calf;
The bullock is prancing,
The billy-goat farting,
Sing merrily, cuckoo!
Cuckoo, cuckoo,
You sing well, cuckoo,
Never stop now.
Sing, cuckoo, now; sing, cuckoo;
Sing, cuckoo; sing, cuckoo, now!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sol on June 02, 2014, 07:22:55 AM
BRTD's 'contributions' to this thread, and responses to that:
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=193217.msg4182462#new
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=193217.msg4182462#new
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on June 02, 2014, 03:48:29 PM
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL SANDRA FLUKE
GET ME A SANDWICH
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
WIMMINZ. BUY YOUR OWN BIRTH CONTROL
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
Ban Boy
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
I'm a man in my late 50s, I enjoy leering, sneering and trolling. Also, sports, sports are important.
GET ME A SANDWICH
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
WIMMINZ. BUY YOUR OWN BIRTH CONTROL
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
Ban Boy
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
I'm a man in my late 50s, I enjoy leering, sneering and trolling. Also, sports, sports are important.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mopsus on June 02, 2014, 08:40:22 PM
While searching for some election simulation game that Snowstalker posted in the Off-Topic board, I unearthed this long-lost gem:
I still haven't found the game.
Wow, you people all have no taste. The prevailing preference on this forum seems to be of gringos.
()
While you're furiously masturbating to this specimen, I'd like to talk some sense into you. White girls are boring. Let's get that out of the way. Pale skin and a lack of interbreeding leads to a population of plains; a creature like the one above, only about 100 pounds heavier, is probably the ideal for most of the sheltered basement-dwelling whites here. At most, you might be into even paler Japanese; maybe tentacle rape is your idea of "foreign".
However, though you may not realize it due to your lack of contact with the outside world, not all women are pale WASPs. You are all missing out on a world of diversity. In fact, ethnic women are consistently superior; instead of a crop of pale skinny butterfaces and pale fat butterfaces, greater interbreeding and genetic diversity in these groups, especially Latin Americans and some Mediterranean peoples.
Women here are more likely to be what you should be looking for; a curvy (but not fat from American foods) physique, wide hips, and a firm rump. The stick-thin and lily-white types are quite the opposite of the healthy, seductive woman we should pursue. We are supposed to prefer women with large, firm breasts and round hindquarters, gentlemen; it is our mind telling us that she is more fit for birthing and raising offspring who are healthier and will surely be more attractive than what you father with Jane Schluben from Dayton, Ohio. Of course, the lack of ethnic men here, and probably the large presence of similarly pale Anglos, dictates that you will likely not succeed in courting the finer specimens of the human female.
()
While you're furiously masturbating to this specimen, I'd like to talk some sense into you. White girls are boring. Let's get that out of the way. Pale skin and a lack of interbreeding leads to a population of plains; a creature like the one above, only about 100 pounds heavier, is probably the ideal for most of the sheltered basement-dwelling whites here. At most, you might be into even paler Japanese; maybe tentacle rape is your idea of "foreign".
However, though you may not realize it due to your lack of contact with the outside world, not all women are pale WASPs. You are all missing out on a world of diversity. In fact, ethnic women are consistently superior; instead of a crop of pale skinny butterfaces and pale fat butterfaces, greater interbreeding and genetic diversity in these groups, especially Latin Americans and some Mediterranean peoples.
Women here are more likely to be what you should be looking for; a curvy (but not fat from American foods) physique, wide hips, and a firm rump. The stick-thin and lily-white types are quite the opposite of the healthy, seductive woman we should pursue. We are supposed to prefer women with large, firm breasts and round hindquarters, gentlemen; it is our mind telling us that she is more fit for birthing and raising offspring who are healthier and will surely be more attractive than what you father with Jane Schluben from Dayton, Ohio. Of course, the lack of ethnic men here, and probably the large presence of similarly pale Anglos, dictates that you will likely not succeed in courting the finer specimens of the human female.
I still haven't found the game.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck on June 02, 2014, 08:44:30 PM
While searching for some election simulation game that Snowstalker posted in the Off-Topic board, I unearthed this long-lost gem:
I still haven't found the game.
Wow, you people all have no taste. The prevailing preference on this forum seems to be of gringos.
()
While you're furiously masturbating to this specimen, I'd like to talk some sense into you. White girls are boring. Let's get that out of the way. Pale skin and a lack of interbreeding leads to a population of plains; a creature like the one above, only about 100 pounds heavier, is probably the ideal for most of the sheltered basement-dwelling whites here. At most, you might be into even paler Japanese; maybe tentacle rape is your idea of "foreign".
However, though you may not realize it due to your lack of contact with the outside world, not all women are pale WASPs. You are all missing out on a world of diversity. In fact, ethnic women are consistently superior; instead of a crop of pale skinny butterfaces and pale fat butterfaces, greater interbreeding and genetic diversity in these groups, especially Latin Americans and some Mediterranean peoples.
Women here are more likely to be what you should be looking for; a curvy (but not fat from American foods) physique, wide hips, and a firm rump. The stick-thin and lily-white types are quite the opposite of the healthy, seductive woman we should pursue. We are supposed to prefer women with large, firm breasts and round hindquarters, gentlemen; it is our mind telling us that she is more fit for birthing and raising offspring who are healthier and will surely be more attractive than what you father with Jane Schluben from Dayton, Ohio. Of course, the lack of ethnic men here, and probably the large presence of similarly pale Anglos, dictates that you will likely not succeed in courting the finer specimens of the human female.
()
While you're furiously masturbating to this specimen, I'd like to talk some sense into you. White girls are boring. Let's get that out of the way. Pale skin and a lack of interbreeding leads to a population of plains; a creature like the one above, only about 100 pounds heavier, is probably the ideal for most of the sheltered basement-dwelling whites here. At most, you might be into even paler Japanese; maybe tentacle rape is your idea of "foreign".
However, though you may not realize it due to your lack of contact with the outside world, not all women are pale WASPs. You are all missing out on a world of diversity. In fact, ethnic women are consistently superior; instead of a crop of pale skinny butterfaces and pale fat butterfaces, greater interbreeding and genetic diversity in these groups, especially Latin Americans and some Mediterranean peoples.
Women here are more likely to be what you should be looking for; a curvy (but not fat from American foods) physique, wide hips, and a firm rump. The stick-thin and lily-white types are quite the opposite of the healthy, seductive woman we should pursue. We are supposed to prefer women with large, firm breasts and round hindquarters, gentlemen; it is our mind telling us that she is more fit for birthing and raising offspring who are healthier and will surely be more attractive than what you father with Jane Schluben from Dayton, Ohio. Of course, the lack of ethnic men here, and probably the large presence of similarly pale Anglos, dictates that you will likely not succeed in courting the finer specimens of the human female.
I still haven't found the game.
Snowy has always been and will continue to be an Atlas gem.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on June 02, 2014, 10:08:55 PM
I can't tell if that Snowstalker post is serious or not. That can't be a good sign...
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on June 02, 2014, 10:14:00 PM
Ah, I remember that one. I believe I was doing an affectionate parody of opebo.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck on June 02, 2014, 10:21:11 PM
Ah, I remember that one. I believe I was doing an affectionate parody of opebo.
Makes sense. Our Dear Opie was always reminding us of the vast treasures of all shapes and forms beyond the confines of The Bad Place.
RIP : (
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: courts on June 03, 2014, 12:37:06 AM
I'm sure he is. He should go back to "Rainbow Dash > Bill Clinton" instead of spouting stuff like this. Yes, this is worse than comparing an established and well respected man to a cartoon pony.
In fairness, I doubt Rainbow Dash is a war criminal.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Badger on June 03, 2014, 07:46:15 AM
BRTD's 'contributions' to this thread, and responses to that:
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=193217.msg4182462#new
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=193217.msg4182462#new
Specifically:
Reminds me of how if a travel agent hadn't screwed up we wouldn't have had any of Seth MacFarlane's contributions to pop culture post-9/11. Now that'd be pretty tough to fathom and quite depressing too.
'contributions'
Look at it this way: No one would have ever heard of Sneakers O'Toole.
Somehow, the terrorists won again.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SWE on June 03, 2014, 04:09:38 PM
Pros:
- She is a witch
- Can cast spells on the Devilcrats
- Will help carry Delaware in the GOP landslide
- Will enthuse the base
- Will make Hillary look old and ugly
Cons:
- Will be attacked by Demoncrats for being a strong successful conservative woman
- She is a witch
- Can cast spells on the Devilcrats
- Will help carry Delaware in the GOP landslide
- Will enthuse the base
- Will make Hillary look old and ugly
Cons:
- Will be attacked by Demoncrats for being a strong successful conservative woman
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on June 03, 2014, 07:06:11 PM
This is good.
I did my best:
Falls Church (United States) (AFP) - Jim Feltner's days are empty. He is a rich man in one of the richest counties in the United States and has never used unemployment benefits or food stamps in his life.
But the Northern Virginia resident has nothing but scorn for the Republican Party, which wants to relieve people like him of the burden of paying for those who actually do use food stamps and unemployment.
Feltner sits in a hard wooden chair at an Au Bon Pain in Alexandria, his MacBook Air perched in front of him.
People around here, he says, are "thriving, indisputably. I know, because I'm one of them."
Armed with two master's degrees, he lives off a salary he receives working as a healthcare management consultant in Deloitte's public sector consultancy practice.
Feltner voted for George H. W. Bush in 1988 when he was an undergraduate at Tufts University, but now says: "I will vote for anybody against the Republican Party."
"I don't care who the Democrat is, I'll vote for him or her. I don't care if they're a pedophile, a convicted felon, an Indian, a Pakistani, even someone who attended an SEC school!"
"They talk about this Real America and Fake America and make fun of the president for going to Harvard. I mean, I did post-graduate work there,'" Feltner alleged.
"Is that something for a major political party to say?," he added. "They have a problem with the educated people."
The same aversion to the Republicans is heard to the north, in Suffolk County, New York.
Alison Dahlberg-Tate, 38, whose necklace of pea-sized pearls hugs her slender neck, says she does not care about politics. She hasn't thought about it since her senior seminar at Sarah Lawrence. But one thing is clear: she does not like the Republican Party.
"I guess Republicans just worry about money in their pocket, what they and their friends are doing. They're not worried the poor, about the women, about the people who have been victimized in this patriarchal society," Dahlberg-Tate said, stepping onto her sailing yacht.
"The Democrats, they are the ones who get us," Dahlberg-Tate added, as her husband Hugh Marsden "Skip" Tate, IV, climbed aboard the vessel with a picnic basket.
"And what if we make poor women pay for birth control? I mean we might as well be in Somalia," Dahlberg-Tate said. She and her husband receives $3,800 each week from the H. M. Tate, Jr. Family Trust, the bulk of which goes to supporting their dogs Millie and Beckett. Skip's freelance public relations work for a New York City-based tech startup is their only other source of income.
"It's unfortunate, when the checks come out, there's a festival atmosphere in the bank," said Mike Bryant, director of client relations for Northern Trust's wealth management division, which oversees the distribution of trust fund dividends to their heirs.
"If someone dared say, I already paid for four years at Haverford and grad school at Yale and you're not getting anything else out of me, it's going to be a really awkward Memorial Day Weekend at the Cape," he said.
I'd love to see a reverse article interviewing a bunch of millionaires in Manhattan and Connecticut and then proclaiming that the GOP is wrecked because it's losing its core constituency and needs to run a Mike Bloomberg to win those people back.
That article would be missing the point on roughly the same scale.
That article would be missing the point on roughly the same scale.
I did my best:
Falls Church (United States) (AFP) - Jim Feltner's days are empty. He is a rich man in one of the richest counties in the United States and has never used unemployment benefits or food stamps in his life.
But the Northern Virginia resident has nothing but scorn for the Republican Party, which wants to relieve people like him of the burden of paying for those who actually do use food stamps and unemployment.
Feltner sits in a hard wooden chair at an Au Bon Pain in Alexandria, his MacBook Air perched in front of him.
People around here, he says, are "thriving, indisputably. I know, because I'm one of them."
Armed with two master's degrees, he lives off a salary he receives working as a healthcare management consultant in Deloitte's public sector consultancy practice.
Feltner voted for George H. W. Bush in 1988 when he was an undergraduate at Tufts University, but now says: "I will vote for anybody against the Republican Party."
"I don't care who the Democrat is, I'll vote for him or her. I don't care if they're a pedophile, a convicted felon, an Indian, a Pakistani, even someone who attended an SEC school!"
"They talk about this Real America and Fake America and make fun of the president for going to Harvard. I mean, I did post-graduate work there,'" Feltner alleged.
"Is that something for a major political party to say?," he added. "They have a problem with the educated people."
The same aversion to the Republicans is heard to the north, in Suffolk County, New York.
Alison Dahlberg-Tate, 38, whose necklace of pea-sized pearls hugs her slender neck, says she does not care about politics. She hasn't thought about it since her senior seminar at Sarah Lawrence. But one thing is clear: she does not like the Republican Party.
"I guess Republicans just worry about money in their pocket, what they and their friends are doing. They're not worried the poor, about the women, about the people who have been victimized in this patriarchal society," Dahlberg-Tate said, stepping onto her sailing yacht.
"The Democrats, they are the ones who get us," Dahlberg-Tate added, as her husband Hugh Marsden "Skip" Tate, IV, climbed aboard the vessel with a picnic basket.
"And what if we make poor women pay for birth control? I mean we might as well be in Somalia," Dahlberg-Tate said. She and her husband receives $3,800 each week from the H. M. Tate, Jr. Family Trust, the bulk of which goes to supporting their dogs Millie and Beckett. Skip's freelance public relations work for a New York City-based tech startup is their only other source of income.
"It's unfortunate, when the checks come out, there's a festival atmosphere in the bank," said Mike Bryant, director of client relations for Northern Trust's wealth management division, which oversees the distribution of trust fund dividends to their heirs.
"If someone dared say, I already paid for four years at Haverford and grad school at Yale and you're not getting anything else out of me, it's going to be a really awkward Memorial Day Weekend at the Cape," he said.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on June 03, 2014, 07:23:09 PM
This is good.
I did my best:
Falls Church (United States) (AFP) - Jim Feltner's days are empty. He is a rich man in one of the richest counties in the United States and has never used unemployment benefits or food stamps in his life.
But the Northern Virginia resident has nothing but scorn for the Republican Party, which wants to relieve people like him of the burden of paying for those who actually do use food stamps and unemployment.
Feltner sits in a hard wooden chair at an Au Bon Pain in Alexandria, his MacBook Air perched in front of him.
People around here, he says, are "thriving, indisputably. I know, because I'm one of them."
Armed with two master's degrees, he lives off a salary he receives working as a healthcare management consultant in Deloitte's public sector consultancy practice.
Feltner voted for George H. W. Bush in 1988 when he was an undergraduate at Tufts University, but now says: "I will vote for anybody against the Republican Party."
"I don't care who the Democrat is, I'll vote for him or her. I don't care if they're a pedophile, a convicted felon, an Indian, a Pakistani, even someone who attended an SEC school!"
"They talk about this Real America and Fake America and make fun of the president for going to Harvard. I mean, I did post-graduate work there,'" Feltner alleged.
"Is that something for a major political party to say?," he added. "They have a problem with the educated people."
The same aversion to the Republicans is heard to the north, in Suffolk County, New York.
Alison Dahlberg-Tate, 38, whose necklace of pea-sized pearls hugs her slender neck, says she does not care about politics. She hasn't thought about it since her senior seminar at Sarah Lawrence. But one thing is clear: she does not like the Republican Party.
"I guess Republicans just worry about money in their pocket, what they and their friends are doing. They're not worried the poor, about the women, about the people who have been victimized in this patriarchal society," Dahlberg-Tate said, stepping onto her sailing yacht.
"The Democrats, they are the ones who get us," Dahlberg-Tate added, as her husband Hugh Marsden "Skip" Tate, IV, climbed aboard the vessel with a picnic basket.
"And what if we make poor women pay for birth control? I mean we might as well be in Somalia," Dahlberg-Tate said. She and her husband receives $3,800 each week from the H. M. Tate, Jr. Family Trust, the bulk of which goes to supporting their dogs Millie and Beckett. Skip's freelance public relations work for a New York City-based tech startup is their only other source of income.
"It's unfortunate, when the checks come out, there's a festival atmosphere in the bank," said Mike Bryant, director of client relations for Northern Trust's wealth management division, which oversees the distribution of trust fund dividends to their heirs.
"If someone dared say, I already paid for four years at Haverford and grad school at Yale and you're not getting anything else out of me, it's going to be a really awkward Memorial Day Weekend at the Cape," he said.
I'd love to see a reverse article interviewing a bunch of millionaires in Manhattan and Connecticut and then proclaiming that the GOP is wrecked because it's losing its core constituency and needs to run a Mike Bloomberg to win those people back.
That article would be missing the point on roughly the same scale.
That article would be missing the point on roughly the same scale.
I did my best:
Falls Church (United States) (AFP) - Jim Feltner's days are empty. He is a rich man in one of the richest counties in the United States and has never used unemployment benefits or food stamps in his life.
But the Northern Virginia resident has nothing but scorn for the Republican Party, which wants to relieve people like him of the burden of paying for those who actually do use food stamps and unemployment.
Feltner sits in a hard wooden chair at an Au Bon Pain in Alexandria, his MacBook Air perched in front of him.
People around here, he says, are "thriving, indisputably. I know, because I'm one of them."
Armed with two master's degrees, he lives off a salary he receives working as a healthcare management consultant in Deloitte's public sector consultancy practice.
Feltner voted for George H. W. Bush in 1988 when he was an undergraduate at Tufts University, but now says: "I will vote for anybody against the Republican Party."
"I don't care who the Democrat is, I'll vote for him or her. I don't care if they're a pedophile, a convicted felon, an Indian, a Pakistani, even someone who attended an SEC school!"
"They talk about this Real America and Fake America and make fun of the president for going to Harvard. I mean, I did post-graduate work there,'" Feltner alleged.
"Is that something for a major political party to say?," he added. "They have a problem with the educated people."
The same aversion to the Republicans is heard to the north, in Suffolk County, New York.
Alison Dahlberg-Tate, 38, whose necklace of pea-sized pearls hugs her slender neck, says she does not care about politics. She hasn't thought about it since her senior seminar at Sarah Lawrence. But one thing is clear: she does not like the Republican Party.
"I guess Republicans just worry about money in their pocket, what they and their friends are doing. They're not worried the poor, about the women, about the people who have been victimized in this patriarchal society," Dahlberg-Tate said, stepping onto her sailing yacht.
"The Democrats, they are the ones who get us," Dahlberg-Tate added, as her husband Hugh Marsden "Skip" Tate, IV, climbed aboard the vessel with a picnic basket.
"And what if we make poor women pay for birth control? I mean we might as well be in Somalia," Dahlberg-Tate said. She and her husband receives $3,800 each week from the H. M. Tate, Jr. Family Trust, the bulk of which goes to supporting their dogs Millie and Beckett. Skip's freelance public relations work for a New York City-based tech startup is their only other source of income.
"It's unfortunate, when the checks come out, there's a festival atmosphere in the bank," said Mike Bryant, director of client relations for Northern Trust's wealth management division, which oversees the distribution of trust fund dividends to their heirs.
"If someone dared say, I already paid for four years at Haverford and grad school at Yale and you're not getting anything else out of me, it's going to be a really awkward Memorial Day Weekend at the Cape," he said.
I posted that here a few pages ago, but it's good enough that it deserves to be inducted twice.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on June 04, 2014, 01:01:12 AM
Scott Summers
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on June 04, 2014, 06:35:59 AM
I'm proud of my description of the sunglasses, which I started writing before the last reply went up, so I'm going to reproduce it:
'A college student in some awful discipline who aspires to be a corporate stooge but can't shake the undefinable feeling that there's something more to life, something cooler.'
'A college student in some awful discipline who aspires to be a corporate stooge but can't shake the undefinable feeling that there's something more to life, something cooler.'
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on June 05, 2014, 10:07:00 PM
Lib Dem 2.59% (-17.41%)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on June 06, 2014, 11:25:54 PM
Busy day for Winnie...
The Winfield legacy lives on.
Congrats Phil. ;)
The Winfield legacy lives on.
The Winfield legacy lives on.
The Winfield legacy lives on.
The Winfield legacy lives on.
Dominating, Congrats Phil
The Winfield legacy lives on.
Santorum supported the judge who struck down the marriage ban. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/20/rick-santorum-pennsylvania-gay-marriage_n_5360067.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000013)
Haha...
Haha...
Congrats Phil. ;)
The Winfield legacy lives on.
The Winfield legacy lives on.
PA is Hillary country. :)
Congrats Phil!
Quote
Despite his native status Santorum manages only a 6th place finish at 8%
Congrats Phil!
The Winfield legacy lives on.
Congrats Phil.
The Winfield legacy lives on.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on June 07, 2014, 12:09:21 AM
"Things sure were nice before we sold Alaska to the aliens in exchange for not being obliterated. I hear they perform anal probings on cows up there."
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on June 07, 2014, 01:52:01 AM
Ted Cruz: Dopey
Jeb Bush: Bashful
Chris Christie: Grumpy
John Thune: Happy
Peter King: Sneezy
Rick Perry: Sleepy
Rand Paul: Doc
Some are tenuous, but what the heck!
Jeb Bush: Bashful
Chris Christie: Grumpy
John Thune: Happy
Peter King: Sneezy
Rick Perry: Sleepy
Rand Paul: Doc
Some are tenuous, but what the heck!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on June 07, 2014, 01:54:52 PM
Over 150,000 votes in Mississippi and Cochran's era is bygone? Give me a break
Probably more the sense that he comes from an era of (mostly Democratic) southern appropriators.
An era that 150,000 Mississippians don't want to end...
An era that 155,000 Mississippians do. :P
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on June 07, 2014, 11:47:47 PM
Is there any difference between them?
One looks like a fish and the other looks like an elf.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on June 08, 2014, 01:11:00 PM
LBJ Republicans?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on June 08, 2014, 02:14:05 PM
In terms of which is more likely to be alive? The cat.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on June 09, 2014, 08:43:18 AM
Honey or Sweetie (Joe Biden normal)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on June 10, 2014, 02:53:31 PM
Also Panzermiss is pregnant apparently, so we'll soon have a Panzertoddler/lilpanzer
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on June 10, 2014, 03:39:40 PM
ROFLMAO :D
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on June 10, 2014, 06:01:05 PM
I respect classic country, love The Man in Black, but hate all the modern crap.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on June 10, 2014, 09:29:05 PM
Oddly enough, this is now the non-Tea Party candidate for Cantor's seat:
()
Also, he's writing a vampire novel.
()
Also, he's writing a vampire novel.
HP; VHP if he has his vampires sparkle.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on June 10, 2014, 10:46:24 PM
I am done with this update for right now. I am not going to get into a back and forth with anybody over an argument they can't win. It's not fair to them. I am going to focus on what I need to do to make myself a more successful Godly man.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on June 10, 2014, 10:49:17 PM
Nice follow-up:
Ah, that explains it. No wonder you don't want a job. You're getting ready for retirement!
Everybody you talk to would tell you I have the mind of someone in their 50's or 60's. I talk old. I act old.
Ah, that explains it. No wonder you don't want a job. You're getting ready for retirement!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on June 11, 2014, 06:21:14 AM
Nice follow-up:
Ah, that explains it. No wonder you don't want a job. You're getting ready for retirement!
Everybody you talk to would tell you I have the mind of someone in their 50's or 60's. I talk old. I act old.
Ah, that explains it. No wonder you don't want a job. You're getting ready for retirement!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SUSAN CRUSHBONE on June 11, 2014, 07:20:34 AM
At the presidential level, a John Thune or a Jeb Bush could make [California] competitive, but they won't win the state.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on June 11, 2014, 02:08:41 PM
Possible way for Corbett to win reelection is if Wolf is caught in bed with Miley Cyrus.
Lock up the mine. We have a winner.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on June 12, 2014, 06:20:41 AM
Do they not have mental hospitals in OK?
I'm not sure. I imagine at this point that they've given up and recognized Oklahoma as one large madhouse.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sol on June 12, 2014, 07:11:18 PM
Saw a plaque while I was out shopping today that said "I like my men like I like my tea: Strong, Sweet, and Southern." If I were a gay I'd have gotten it.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on June 13, 2014, 09:31:26 PM
Worse than crashing a funeral to play Egress.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Enderman on June 13, 2014, 11:21:36 PM
Governor Riley Keaton takes to the microphone
Lablr
()
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: ⛄ on June 14, 2014, 05:52:46 AM
That's awesome. Good for him. A couple years ago he wouldn't have even been able to make it through that segment. Hopefully he keeps doing stuff like this though, because this is how he built up his old reputation as "the only reasonable Republican in the United States."
By dancing?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SUSAN CRUSHBONE on June 15, 2014, 01:17:48 PM
Grumps is a sheep who takes his marching orders from a certain sensibility peculiar to lower-class whites. Cultural markers then are deeply important to him.
I will respond to you as soon as I receive my marching orders, Einzige.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on June 15, 2014, 04:59:58 PM
California: producing red-state human development indicators at blue-state prices.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on June 15, 2014, 07:51:09 PM
Christian natalism is a horrific parody of the values rooted in the Earth. In a thousand years our descendants will regard our religious humanists, and their secular inheritors, as monsters.
What are "values rooted in the Earth"?
Trees that are hundreds of years old with coupons near the end of the root?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on June 16, 2014, 01:59:08 AM
Abortions after the 3rd trimester remain legal if wearing a hoodie and eating skittles.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Consciously Unconscious on June 16, 2014, 09:32:16 AM
No-one discussed the obvious choice: Pope Francis I
Pros:
* A strong catholic, will boost Hispanic turnout significantly
* Good progressive credentials
* Chosen by god
Cons:
* Poor fundraiser.
Pros:
* A strong catholic, will boost Hispanic turnout significantly
* Good progressive credentials
* Chosen by god
Cons:
* Poor fundraiser.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on June 16, 2014, 10:45:23 PM
Of course Simfan fits the profile of an Enlightened player to a T.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on June 17, 2014, 11:45:40 AM
The worst is that Snowstalker is making some pro-ISIS posts that would qualify that are getting ignored.
There's nothing wrong in being a fan of Egyptian deities. I'm pro-Isis and pro-Osiris, though my favourite goddess is Bastet because I adore cats.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on June 17, 2014, 12:44:33 PM
So Hillary Clinton has been arrested? ???
Sorry, couldn't resist
Sorry, couldn't resist
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on June 18, 2014, 04:15:00 AM
Who wouldn't want to be circumcised though?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on June 18, 2014, 09:46:57 AM
Einzge is a victim of the sheeple's aversion to his byzantine labyrinth of obfuscationary semantics. The neutered cowards of the Atlas Forum react with fear and horror when reading anything of an excellent intellectual and genetic pedigree, in an intriguingly similar way to the average negress or heeb.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on June 18, 2014, 03:43:16 PM
I don't know why they keep posting in the Update thread. It's obviously clear that I have stopped posting in that thread.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Hifly on June 18, 2014, 06:47:35 PM
Winkelman, Arizona - Mayor:
Mr Joseph Gorion, known as "Chicken Joe" to local residents due to his well known chicken farm on Highway 77, stepped down as Mayor after one of his chickens, Alda, suffered from diarrhea. Chicken Joe was a two-term Republican mayor, winning his elections with the slogan "Chicken Joe does not like taxes!" He chose the owner of the local grocery store and holder of numerous offices including Town Comptroller, Mr Mario Gomez, well known as very greedy yet frugal, as his successor. He was opposed by local Elementary school teacher Ana Luna and perennial candidate and well known hobo "Ragged Reggie", but could score a win, mainly because of Chicken Joe's momentum. There are three registered Democrats in Winkelman, and two of them - Mr Jose Garcia and Mrs Maria Gomez, sister of Mr Mario Gomez, ran in the Democratic primary. In the end, Garcia could gain the vote of the deaf and silent Mr Jose Antanarivo, thus scoring a two-third majority win in the primary. The general election was therefore between Gomez and Garcia. It was an intense and nail-biting race, overshadowed by scandals of bribery and voter fraud - Chicken Joe tried to register the now recovered Alda as a voter, while attempting to bribe the responisble officer, Mr Mario Gomez with the roasted Rio - Alda's brother. Luckily, Mrs Maria Gomez came by to bring her brother lunch - homemade paella - and could prevent the voter fraud. In the end, the election was decided narrowly, with just one vote (that is 10%) more in favour of Mr Gomez, Chicken Joe's chosen successor.
Republican
Mr Mario Gomez (R) - 60%
Mrs Ana Luna (R) - 40%
Mr Reginald "Ragged Reggie" Ragson (R) - 10%
Democrats
Mr Jose Garcia (D) - 66.66%
Mrs Maria Gomez (D) - 33.33%
General Election
Mr Mario Gomez (R) - 55%
Mr Jose Garcia (D) - 45%
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on June 19, 2014, 01:33:03 AM
One of the worst figures in American History. Dude should be put on trial for treason against humanity.
KKK>Cheney and I'm black
KKK>Cheney and I'm black
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: LeBron on June 19, 2014, 02:14:54 AM
A good handful of the posts in this thread (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=194145.0) are pretty funny, but I'll post the funniest, two gems: One of which is Deluge worthy; the other is epic.
Goddamn I love Schweitzer. He manages to be a liberal without being a censorious, reality-denying nematode.
Cantor is absolutely a twink. Basically any country club Republican under 55 or so is going to be a closeted homosexual.
Cantor is absolutely a twink. Basically any country club Republican under 55 or so is going to be a closeted homosexual.
What's a Brian Schweitzer?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on June 19, 2014, 10:53:05 AM
The local no-kill shelter here spays/neuters all cats up for adoption, and I believe that is the most common practice.
I'll help you out of that trees if I can have your balls for my collection.
No thanks. I'll just stay up here.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: RR1997 on June 19, 2014, 04:28:20 PM
A resopnse to a thread about the best Bush term.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on June 19, 2014, 04:53:15 PM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on June 19, 2014, 07:30:31 PM
I don't know why they keep posting in the Update thread. It's obviously clear that I have stopped posting in that thread.
The lack of self-awareness is astounding.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: LeBron on June 19, 2014, 08:39:48 PM
I'm still laughing as I post this xD. Fresh off the presses.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on June 19, 2014, 08:49:26 PM
This guy is much more electable than Clinton though. Because he wears a bolo tie.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SWE on June 19, 2014, 09:26:58 PM
This just proves further that Brian Schweitzer is completely unfit for office, and further distances himself from the Democratic Party. Dianne Feinstein is an amazing Senator who has advocated for LGBT rights, women's health, and gun control for her entire career, and to criticize her goes against everything we stand for. Comparing her to a prostitute is just mean and cruel to women.
Meanwhile, as governor, he upheld his state's medicinal marijuana bill that would allow more drugs to circulate all around Montana, let people claim any disability as an excuse to abuse it, and shut off a prescription to more effective, less dangerous drugs. He also has an endorsement from the NRA, which wants to keep guns in the hands of dangerous people, and he led the Democratic Party on and forced Baucus to retire, but at the last minute dropped out of the race. Today, while I was watching MSNBC, I heard Brian Schweitzer say the S-word. He's anti-woman, anti-gay, and a pottymouth too! (http://dailycaller.com/2014/06/17/morning-mirror-127/) #JustSayNo to Brian Schweitzer in 2016!
Meanwhile, as governor, he upheld his state's medicinal marijuana bill that would allow more drugs to circulate all around Montana, let people claim any disability as an excuse to abuse it, and shut off a prescription to more effective, less dangerous drugs. He also has an endorsement from the NRA, which wants to keep guns in the hands of dangerous people, and he led the Democratic Party on and forced Baucus to retire, but at the last minute dropped out of the race. Today, while I was watching MSNBC, I heard Brian Schweitzer say the S-word. He's anti-woman, anti-gay, and a pottymouth too! (http://dailycaller.com/2014/06/17/morning-mirror-127/) #JustSayNo to Brian Schweitzer in 2016!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: morgieb on June 19, 2014, 09:54:23 PM
pros:
- brings in conservative support to the ticket
- from an important swing-state
- helps with catholics and working-class voters
- extensive legislative experience
- soothing midwesterner
cons:
- lost to a bald guy by 75 points
- brings in conservative support to the ticket
- from an important swing-state
- helps with catholics and working-class voters
- extensive legislative experience
- soothing midwesterner
cons:
- lost to a bald guy by 75 points
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on June 20, 2014, 04:16:08 AM
Case race tomorrow evening. My great-grand big is supposedly recruiting alums to swing by, and I've got at least two members of the crew living in the House as well as some of the other actives and recent graduates that have indicated they'll be here. When I get back from work, however, I'm too lazy to try to organize this crap, so I'm kinda winging it. Oh well. If we even have three teams of three (not going the typical 2/24 route, but instead 3/30), I'll be happy.
what the ****k does any of this mean
"A competition will be held tomorrow evening wherein teams of men will compete to see which team can drink an entire case of beer the fastest. My mentor's mentor's mentor in the fraternity is finding fraternity brothers who graduated with him to come, plus at least two people who are currently living in the fraternity house itself (plus other current and recently graduated fraternity brothers) will be attending. I'm too lazy to organize the event myself though. Even if only nine people show up I will consider it a success. If necessary we can have three teams of three men drinking from those cases of beer that come with thirty beers, as opposed to the traditional setup of teams of two drinking from cases of beer that come with twenty four beers."
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on June 20, 2014, 04:40:35 AM
lol, had to read that right after taking a seroquel
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Alcon on June 20, 2014, 05:18:49 AM
Case race tomorrow evening. My great-grand big is supposedly recruiting alums to swing by, and I've got at least two members of the crew living in the House as well as some of the other actives and recent graduates that have indicated they'll be here. When I get back from work, however, I'm too lazy to try to organize this crap, so I'm kinda winging it. Oh well. If we even have three teams of three (not going the typical 2/24 route, but instead 3/30), I'll be happy.
what the *k does any of this mean
"A competition will be held tomorrow evening wherein teams of men will compete to see which team can drink an entire case of beer the fastest. My mentor's mentor's mentor in the fraternity is finding fraternity brothers who graduated with him to come, plus at least two people who are currently living in the fraternity house itself (plus other current and recently graduated fraternity brothers) will be attending. I'm too lazy to organize the event myself though. Even if only nine people show up I will consider it a success. If necessary we can have three teams of three men drinking from those cases of beer that come with thirty beers, as opposed to the traditional setup of teams of two drinking from cases of beer that come with twenty four beers."
If I thought my alum fund was going to fine academic work like this, I would be contributing instead of just adding them to catalogue mailing lists
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: ⛄ on June 20, 2014, 07:28:23 PM
I think a bigger problem is that the American electorate just seems tired of all politicians at all levels and is willing to dump parties or persons in power every cycle. See: Ohio 2004-2010. Went from GOP in Presidency 2004, to DEM in 2006 Midterms, to DEM in Presidency in 2008, to GOP in 2010 Midterms.
Which could lead to some Libertarians winning soon. I think we might be in the mist of a change in the party system.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on June 21, 2014, 06:50:58 AM
i'm going to repeat here what i told my family after uruguay-costa rica -- costa rica is a team that could certainly win the whole thing and will almost certainly make it to the semifinals.
^ this is why using drugs is very, very bad.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on June 21, 2014, 03:13:48 PM
I don't take these people seriously because they're cowards. They spew hatred even more than the worst on the right, and yet what would they fight with? Granola? They're harmless but their rhetoric is dangerous.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on June 21, 2014, 04:54:16 PM
Harry I know about the whole standards of living, but it comes at the cost of freedom. See maybe our differing political views just don't jive with our views on what we consider freedom.
I believe in majority rules, in free trade, free enterprise, freedom of speech. What always made the United States a great country was that we were the opposite of the rest of the world.
While Hitler banned smoking and created vast totalitarian order in Europe, Americans were smoking cigarettes and drinkin' Tennessee whiskey.
While the Japanese and Germans had brutal concentration or death camps, the camp we had for Japanese Americans didn't include sick torture, abuse or extermination.
An Axis war leader once said, "I'd never want to invade the United States, because there would be a gun in the back of every soldier." The Jews didn't have weapons. Resistance groups failed. America was FOUNDED on a resistance victory against Britain.
We got rid of Europe here a long time ago for the specific purpose of not being Europe. Dare I say, that most Americans, even our leaders in the 1940s, thought more like ME than like you. By thinking like me, we won.
What if our WWII leaders thought like you? I don't believe victory could have been assured. That is why I'm such a pain in the butt about being against liberalism. I think it threatens us.
I believe in majority rules, in free trade, free enterprise, freedom of speech. What always made the United States a great country was that we were the opposite of the rest of the world.
While Hitler banned smoking and created vast totalitarian order in Europe, Americans were smoking cigarettes and drinkin' Tennessee whiskey.
While the Japanese and Germans had brutal concentration or death camps, the camp we had for Japanese Americans didn't include sick torture, abuse or extermination.
An Axis war leader once said, "I'd never want to invade the United States, because there would be a gun in the back of every soldier." The Jews didn't have weapons. Resistance groups failed. America was FOUNDED on a resistance victory against Britain.
We got rid of Europe here a long time ago for the specific purpose of not being Europe. Dare I say, that most Americans, even our leaders in the 1940s, thought more like ME than like you. By thinking like me, we won.
What if our WWII leaders thought like you? I don't believe victory could have been assured. That is why I'm such a pain in the butt about being against liberalism. I think it threatens us.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on June 21, 2014, 05:27:29 PM
Harry I know about the whole standards of living, but it comes at the cost of freedom. See maybe our differing political views just don't jive with our views on what we consider freedom.
I believe in majority rules, in free trade, free enterprise, freedom of speech. What always made the United States a great country was that we were the opposite of the rest of the world.
While Hitler banned smoking and created vast totalitarian order in Europe, Americans were smoking cigarettes and drinkin' Tennessee whiskey.
While the Japanese and Germans had brutal concentration or death camps, the camp we had for Japanese Americans didn't include sick torture, abuse or extermination.
An Axis war leader once said, "I'd never want to invade the United States, because there would be a gun in the back of every soldier." The Jews didn't have weapons. Resistance groups failed. America was FOUNDED on a resistance victory against Britain.
We got rid of Europe here a long time ago for the specific purpose of not being Europe. Dare I say, that most Americans, even our leaders in the 1940s, thought more like ME than like you. By thinking like me, we won.
What if our WWII leaders thought like you? I don't believe victory could have been assured. That is why I'm such a pain in the butt about being against liberalism. I think it threatens us.
I believe in majority rules, in free trade, free enterprise, freedom of speech. What always made the United States a great country was that we were the opposite of the rest of the world.
While Hitler banned smoking and created vast totalitarian order in Europe, Americans were smoking cigarettes and drinkin' Tennessee whiskey.
While the Japanese and Germans had brutal concentration or death camps, the camp we had for Japanese Americans didn't include sick torture, abuse or extermination.
An Axis war leader once said, "I'd never want to invade the United States, because there would be a gun in the back of every soldier." The Jews didn't have weapons. Resistance groups failed. America was FOUNDED on a resistance victory against Britain.
We got rid of Europe here a long time ago for the specific purpose of not being Europe. Dare I say, that most Americans, even our leaders in the 1940s, thought more like ME than like you. By thinking like me, we won.
What if our WWII leaders thought like you? I don't believe victory could have been assured. That is why I'm such a pain in the butt about being against liberalism. I think it threatens us.
oh my god this is the best
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: RR1997 on June 22, 2014, 09:54:59 AM
What has Sandoval actually done that makes leftists swoon over him? ???
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on June 22, 2014, 10:07:47 AM
My suggestion to Bushie:
1. Drop about sixty pounds, putting perhaps fifteen of it back on as (lean) muscle. You'll need it to re-invent your persona along the lines I'm recommending.
2. Throw out your entire wardrobe. Purchase the following items:
* Three white long-sleeve button ups.
* Three black dress slacks.
* A set of black leather suspenders, to be worn over the dress shirts.
* Black leather dress boots - buckled, not laced.
* A slightly oversized vest, to be worn open and unbuttoned.
* A black, spiked heavy metal leather wristband.
3. Drop your taste for country and western music and begin listening to a lot of krautrock, 70s funk, 90s industrial, and mid-era David Bowie. Watch arthouse films.
4. Grow out a - clean, undercut - ponytail.
5. Become a chain smoker.
6. Abandon your faith in a God who has abandoned you.
1. Drop about sixty pounds, putting perhaps fifteen of it back on as (lean) muscle. You'll need it to re-invent your persona along the lines I'm recommending.
2. Throw out your entire wardrobe. Purchase the following items:
* Three white long-sleeve button ups.
* Three black dress slacks.
* A set of black leather suspenders, to be worn over the dress shirts.
* Black leather dress boots - buckled, not laced.
* A slightly oversized vest, to be worn open and unbuttoned.
* A black, spiked heavy metal leather wristband.
3. Drop your taste for country and western music and begin listening to a lot of krautrock, 70s funk, 90s industrial, and mid-era David Bowie. Watch arthouse films.
4. Grow out a - clean, undercut - ponytail.
5. Become a chain smoker.
6. Abandon your faith in a God who has abandoned you.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SPC on June 22, 2014, 01:39:09 PM
Wait, the headline is ambiguous. Does Gore squash Al Qaeda because he hasn't squandered resources on Iraq? Or does Saddam squash Al Qaeda because he hasn't been ousted by the US?
Saddam is VP, and Gore resigns the Presidency and becomes a fighter pilot.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY on June 22, 2014, 04:39:38 PM
Harry I know about the whole standards of living, but it comes at the cost of freedom. See maybe our differing political views just don't jive with our views on what we consider freedom.
I believe in majority rules, in free trade, free enterprise, freedom of speech. What always made the United States a great country was that we were the opposite of the rest of the world.
While Hitler banned smoking and created vast totalitarian order in Europe, Americans were smoking cigarettes and drinkin' Tennessee whiskey.
While the Japanese and Germans had brutal concentration or death camps, the camp we had for Japanese Americans didn't include sick torture, abuse or extermination.
An Axis war leader once said, "I'd never want to invade the United States, because there would be a gun in the back of every soldier." The Jews didn't have weapons. Resistance groups failed. America was FOUNDED on a resistance victory against Britain.
We got rid of Europe here a long time ago for the specific purpose of not being Europe. Dare I say, that most Americans, even our leaders in the 1940s, thought more like ME than like you. By thinking like me, we won.
What if our WWII leaders thought like you? I don't believe victory could have been assured. That is why I'm such a pain in the butt about being against liberalism. I think it threatens us.
I believe in majority rules, in free trade, free enterprise, freedom of speech. What always made the United States a great country was that we were the opposite of the rest of the world.
While Hitler banned smoking and created vast totalitarian order in Europe, Americans were smoking cigarettes and drinkin' Tennessee whiskey.
While the Japanese and Germans had brutal concentration or death camps, the camp we had for Japanese Americans didn't include sick torture, abuse or extermination.
An Axis war leader once said, "I'd never want to invade the United States, because there would be a gun in the back of every soldier." The Jews didn't have weapons. Resistance groups failed. America was FOUNDED on a resistance victory against Britain.
We got rid of Europe here a long time ago for the specific purpose of not being Europe. Dare I say, that most Americans, even our leaders in the 1940s, thought more like ME than like you. By thinking like me, we won.
What if our WWII leaders thought like you? I don't believe victory could have been assured. That is why I'm such a pain in the butt about being against liberalism. I think it threatens us.
oh my god this is the best
I especially love how he took an effort to type an apostrophe instead of a g in the bolded part. People like that always make me laugh.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on June 22, 2014, 04:48:00 PM
I wish reform was geared more towards increasing the supply, rather than demand, for healthcare.
Why are you applying an economic analysis used to determine the price of widgets, wheat or dildos to the provision of healthcare?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on June 22, 2014, 05:11:55 PM
Part of me thinks Naso was being tongue-in-cheek with that 'internment camps' remark.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on June 22, 2014, 09:52:59 PM
23 and hopefully having some congressman I'm working for on top of me.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on June 22, 2014, 10:06:28 PM
23 and hopefully having some congressman I'm working for on top of me.
In context, that isn't just some bad word mangling, is it? It means what it looks like it means. Wow.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on June 23, 2014, 02:05:13 PM
Only once, unwittingly. Split some ecstasy with a friend at a music festival, and almost instanteously my mouth went numb and I started feeling really good - like I have a 10 inch dick and can outknowledge Al on Welsh labor relations c. 1975. type of good. Given that these are not the effects of ecstasy, I turn to my friend and she's like, "yup, this stuff was definitely cut with coke." Anyway the effects lasted for about 30 minutes before transitioning into the typical mdma lovefest. Probably wouldn't recommend; it's better to develop confidence organically than it is to artificially keep flooding your brain with dopamine until you die.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on June 23, 2014, 04:41:20 PM
Jerry needs to get an internship in Aaron Schock's office next summer.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on June 23, 2014, 07:50:24 PM
Are you leaving an opening for me?
One more bad pun and I'm labial to tune it out.
One more bad pun and I'm labial to tune it out.
Don't pussy out on us.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SUSAN CRUSHBONE on June 24, 2014, 03:25:22 AM
Now, I'm not going to go down the awfully silly route that some people go down, but the fact is that slave-owners weren't some monolithic bloc of individuals who spent all their time whipping, raping and torturing their slaves.
not all slave owners
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on June 25, 2014, 12:27:53 AM
Also did anyone even tell him about the trick where you ask for half of one meat and half of the other to get slightly more meat for free?
A magical negro homeless man standing outside my local Chipotle who asked me to buy him a meal taught me this trick. It's a testament to the power of charity and how it comes back to you tenfold.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Ebowed on June 25, 2014, 02:05:15 AM
23 and hopefully having some congressman I'm working for on top of me.
Wha?
I would like to have some nice young congressman to come at me while I am working for him.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on June 25, 2014, 02:00:44 PM
You'd think they'd throw in Sicily for good measure, but let them have Wurzburg...
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: ⛄ on June 25, 2014, 04:45:33 PM
Palin was the governor of Alaska from 2006 to 2009 and she was McCain running mate in 2008.
She is said to be the pioneer of the Tea Party movement.
That answer reminds me of this: http://youtu.be/V-sred9CCTk
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on June 26, 2014, 04:25:23 AM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on June 26, 2014, 08:47:36 AM
Suárez seem to have good taste. Italian food is the best.
The second sentence, taken out of context, doubles as Simple Truth.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on June 26, 2014, 01:18:48 PM
The North Korean regime is a cancer in the heart of Northeast Asia that must be ripped out- even if it costs Seoul in the process.
What profits a man to gain the world, and lose his Seoul?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on June 26, 2014, 02:12:56 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=194587
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on June 26, 2014, 02:16:02 PM
The North Korean regime is a cancer in the heart of Northeast Asia that must be ripped out- even if it costs Seoul in the process.
What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their Seoul?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on June 26, 2014, 05:18:55 PM
Inevitably, FF will win a landslide victory in 2045 when the forum becomes majority Hispanic.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on June 26, 2014, 10:53:30 PM
Such a slanderous attack on my character will not stand. I am not the cowardly duel-dodger Einzige, I am a man who will defend his honor. Pick your seconds and your weapons, sir, and let us see which one of us is truly the poltroon.
I, unlike the timid and weak Einzige, am no duel-dodger. I stand by my word, which is my honour. En Guard.
Who's this scoundrel that has entered my sight?
Why, since potatoes, he's Eire's greatest blight!
He dares call me poltroon? A dog with no bite
St. Paddy should've put this Celtic snake to flight!
Gully they call him, and gullible he is
Æthelred's prepared better comebacks than his
Foyle's the surname and foiled's his biz
His rhymes are as archaic as the dress on Queen Liz.
You lose this round Gully, but hey, it's not your fault
At least you have more courage than that coward Meursault
A worse man would've seen this challenge and gone Galt
Peace out. I have a date with a straight-up single malt.
A post that belongs in the Goldmine, the Gallery, and the Sulphur Mine, all in one! :)
Bolded is particularly good! Legendary.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on June 27, 2014, 01:04:34 AM
What does Rafael Nadal bring to tennis?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on June 27, 2014, 02:53:10 AM
The North Korean regime is a cancer in the heart of Northeast Asia that must be ripped out- even if it costs Seoul in the process.
What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their Seoul?
We likely were using different translations of the same obvious Synoptic verse. (Mark 8:36; Matthew 16:26; Luke 9:25)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on June 27, 2014, 09:27:38 AM
Such a slanderous attack on my character will not stand. I am not the cowardly duel-dodger Einzige, I am a man who will defend his honor. Pick your seconds and your weapons, sir, and let us see which one of us is truly the poltroon.
I, unlike the timid and weak Einzige, am no duel-dodger. I stand by my word, which is my honour. En Guard.
Who's this scoundrel that has entered my sight?
Why, since potatoes, he's Eire's greatest blight!
He dares call me poltroon? A dog with no bite
St. Paddy should've put this Celtic snake to flight!
Gully they call him, and gullible he is
Æthelred's prepared better comebacks than his
Foyle's the surname and foiled's his biz
His rhymes are as archaic as the dress on Queen Liz.
You lose this round Gully, but hey, it's not your fault
At least you have more courage than that coward Meursault
A worse man would've seen this challenge and gone Galt
Peace out. I have a date with a straight-up single malt.
A post that belongs in the Goldmine, the Gallery, and the Sulphur Mine, all in one! :)
Bolded is particularly good! Legendary.
That was truly epic.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on June 27, 2014, 10:05:35 AM
Anyway I already pre-ordered this. Hopefully I get to join the elite group of people who read a book by a president before they became president (though that prize would never be worth the torture of having to read a book by a Republican).
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on June 28, 2014, 12:59:23 PM
I'd like Our Dear Friend to turn on ABC right now and give us his thoughts on Brazil vs. Chile in the 2014 FIFA (TM) World Cup.
I'm watching a more exciting game - Chicago White Sox vs. Toronto Blue Jays.
If this match goes to penalty kicks, you are to switch channels for a grand total of five minutes. That's an order.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on June 28, 2014, 01:26:39 PM
Anyway I already pre-ordered this. Hopefully I get to join the elite group of people who read a book by a president before they became president (though that prize would never be worth the torture of having to read a book by a Republican).
I think you're looking at the wrong antecedent. At least, I hope that you are...
I haven't actually read any of TR's books, but in any case the part in parenthesis isn't what I found most humorous.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on June 28, 2014, 02:12:17 PM
Anyway I already pre-ordered this. Hopefully I get to join the elite group of people who read a book by a president before they became president (though that prize would never be worth the torture of having to read a book by a Republican).
I think you're looking at the wrong antecedent. At least, I hope that you are...
I haven't actually read any of TR's books, but in any case the part in parenthesis isn't what I found most humorous.
I'm not sure what you mean by that, but to clarify I meant 'antecedent' in the grammatical sense. i.e. IceSpear will join the 'elites' because he has read Hillary Clinton's book before she becomes POTUS.
Or maybe I am the only one who was silly enough to read it as a declaration of presidential ambitions.
This is correct. I didn't realize what was comedic about the post at first, unless shua thinks I meant I'd become president.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SWE on June 28, 2014, 03:53:07 PM
#Ready4IceSpear
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on June 28, 2014, 08:56:27 PM
Anyway I already pre-ordered this. Hopefully I get to join the elite group of people who read a book by a president before they became president (though that prize would never be worth the torture of having to read a book by a Republican).
I think you're looking at the wrong antecedent. At least, I hope that you are...
I haven't actually read any of TR's books, but in any case the part in parenthesis isn't what I found most humorous.
I'm not sure what you mean by that, but to clarify I meant 'antecedent' in the grammatical sense. i.e. IceSpear will join the 'elites' because he has read Hillary Clinton's book before she becomes POTUS.
Or maybe I am the only one who was silly enough to read it as a declaration of presidential ambitions.
You're right it could be read that way, in which case that actually would be an elite group of people.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on June 29, 2014, 04:30:58 AM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on June 29, 2014, 03:16:39 PM
Pew late update **60% of todays Liberals are not American.** (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=194762.0)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on June 29, 2014, 03:49:57 PM
Summary of the most recent Inksgate:
Someone please clarify the situation:
()
()
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on June 29, 2014, 04:58:02 PM
Nope the Christies and Romneys need to leave and form their own progressive party.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on June 29, 2014, 05:10:16 PM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on June 29, 2014, 07:01:40 PM
Perhaps we should recruit another black man to the forum so Inks' stop and frisk time is more divided?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on June 29, 2014, 10:48:46 PM
Not at all. I called for his unbanning years ago as it's what Jesus would support.
So if Libertas was a money changer at his temple, you'd support punching him in the face?
No. I'd support turning his table over though.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: traininthedistance on June 29, 2014, 11:13:56 PM
()
These would make great micro-studio apartments!
These would make great micro-studio apartments!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on June 30, 2014, 08:23:28 AM
Nine match ban from his national team and a four month ban from the Forum in general.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Kushahontas on June 30, 2014, 09:40:34 AM
It's about time the conservatives win a Supreme Court ruling.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on June 30, 2014, 09:51:59 AM
It's about time the conservatives win a Supreme Court ruling.
The cluelessness continues to astound.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Clarko95 📚💰📈 on June 30, 2014, 11:11:03 AM
I don't think this has been posted yet:
Call it ISIL's "Little Miss Muffet" problem - curds in the whey. [/Ernest]
There already is a Kurdish nation. There just isn't a Kurdish state. [/pedant]
Call it ISIL's "Little Miss Muffet" problem - curds in the whey. [/Ernest]
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Filuwaúrdjan on June 30, 2014, 11:50:19 AM
Nine match ban from his national team and a four month ban from the Forum in general.
Was about to post that one here. Hilarious.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on June 30, 2014, 11:58:25 AM
I don't think this has been posted yet:
Call it ISIL's "Little Miss Muffet" problem - curds in the whey. [/Ernest]
There already is a Kurdish nation. There just isn't a Kurdish state. [/pedant]
Call it ISIL's "Little Miss Muffet" problem - curds in the whey. [/Ernest]
Spot on! :D
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on June 30, 2014, 12:04:31 PM
Everyone is brushing off Heironymous Boshemble's comment as classic utopo-libertarian nonsense, but there's a kernel of truth to the idea that overly restrictive medical licensing raises health care costs in a way that's more about rent-seeking doctors than it is about guaranteeing quality care for patients. If we made it easier for foreign doctors to get relicensed in the US, for instance, that would probably put downward pressure in wages for doctors. Similarly, allowing nurses, dental hygienists, and nurse practitioners to do more without the supervision of a doctor would reduce treatment costs.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on June 30, 2014, 01:12:57 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=194838.0 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=194838.0)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on June 30, 2014, 01:22:40 PM
(
)
bag of weed / cute lil bong - 538
Inks / Jeb Bush - 0
bag of weed / cute lil bong - 538
Inks / Jeb Bush - 0
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on June 30, 2014, 01:36:05 PM
Self (normal)
Context
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on July 01, 2014, 08:49:58 AM
Cuomo most certainly wants the NYS to remain Republican. The only reason why he supports the IDC dissolving is because of the WFP endorsement - which was one of the terms. His taped speech at the WFP convention was described as looking "like a hostage video."
()
()
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on July 01, 2014, 07:03:55 PM
I presume that, given the father retains ownership over Allison, he will retain rights to her unless otherwise. It seems like Bushie has entered into an option-contract with Papa Bushie, which vests upon his completion of the list of demands, and Papa Allison will keep it open for an undisclosed amount of time.
I just wonder how long Bushie has to complete this list. Further, looking at this from a property viewpoint, I wonder if Papa Allison has the right to end the engagement should Bushie pop the question next week and then fail to complete the list of demands. I assume that Papa Allison has a right of reentry in Allison subject to the conveyance to Bushie since this sounds like he structured it as a fee simple subject to condition subsequent.
Until Bushie reveals the details on this contract, all we can do is speculate.
I just wonder how long Bushie has to complete this list. Further, looking at this from a property viewpoint, I wonder if Papa Allison has the right to end the engagement should Bushie pop the question next week and then fail to complete the list of demands. I assume that Papa Allison has a right of reentry in Allison subject to the conveyance to Bushie since this sounds like he structured it as a fee simple subject to condition subsequent.
Until Bushie reveals the details on this contract, all we can do is speculate.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Miles on July 01, 2014, 10:21:00 PM
Funnily, there were people saying the Hinds GOP Chair's Arrest for DUI was politically motivated too.
Shows how progressive Mississippi has become, in the old days they would have just shot him.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sopranos Republican on July 02, 2014, 11:45:10 AM
I'm a former moderator, so yes. Although, we last spoke 2 years ago when the Mikado gave me 50 death points as an "incentive" to lose weight.
Lol.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on July 03, 2014, 01:29:50 AM
I expect the last delusional hold outs to finally admit that The List existed (exists?) now that Inks has been removed from power.
That's it. You're moved to the top.
I didn't know I ever dropped.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on July 03, 2014, 04:10:41 PM
but I'm done worrying about Randy's behavior.
For those not aware, imagine Inks at his Nixonian worst but on crack... and imagine that said person owned the site and continues to own the domain name...
Wow.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on July 03, 2014, 05:28:26 PM
Mysteriously, 18 (and a half) of Inks' posts in the Mod Board are now missing.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on July 04, 2014, 06:05:05 AM
Who else is celibate?
()
Anyway, re: the above, I don't want to have children (sane) and plan to leave the world a smoking, ruined husk for the next generation (sane).
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Deus Naturae on July 04, 2014, 07:48:33 AM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=195044.0
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on July 04, 2014, 01:38:18 PM
Who else is celibate?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on July 04, 2014, 03:03:31 PM
All I came here to say is that Fox And Friends is what all morning news would be had the Nazis won the war.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on July 04, 2014, 04:01:29 PM
Thank goodness for this thread; I've been sitting on this information for close to five years... unable to hold it much longer...
When the forum crashed for a day one time, here was the *REAL* reason for what happened:
Booking my flight to Moscow as I type this.
When the forum crashed for a day one time, here was the *REAL* reason for what happened:
One of the mysql tables crashed. this happens from time to time and I have to repair it. Don't know why. I'm working on reducing the load on the site - freeing up disk space and trying to find processor hogs.
Dave
Dave
Booking my flight to Moscow as I type this.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on July 05, 2014, 09:23:59 PM
Context
SCANDAL: DAENERYS TARGARYEN MAKES HOMOPHOBIC COMMENT
July 6 PPP poll: Dany down 14 points in fighting intentions from last week - Renly takes lead in race to the Iron Throne
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Deus Naturae on July 05, 2014, 11:56:22 PM
I have a five year plan, of course.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oldiesfreak1854 on July 06, 2014, 10:51:35 AM
This is like the zoo -- don't feed them, just watch for fun. :)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on July 06, 2014, 03:17:36 PM
Obama needs to come out strongly against jumping into the lion pen at the zoo while wearing a meat suit.
Things Barack Obama Doesn't Like:
1. Not wearing seatbelts.
2. Drinking undiluted bleach.
3. Playing Russian Roulette.
4. Chainsaw juggling.
Someone please post that list on WND and RedState.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on July 06, 2014, 09:45:15 PM
'Spineless'? Was Harry Truman 'spineless'? Was John F. Kennedy 'spineless'? Was Franklin D. Roosevelt 'spineless'? Was Henry 'Scoop' Jackson 'spineless'? You are truly full of yourself to think that Democrats can only show themselves as 'principled' if we endorse the killing of unborn children ostensibly to protect women's 'privacy' (but more for the sake of convenience in maintaining a hedonistic lifestyle without the inconvenience of children), always laying the blame on America's doorstep for every terrorist attack or setback, supporting the right of the federal government to lay the groundwork for overturning our Second Amendment right to own a gun, and to mock and denigrate the faith of the vast majority of Americans who consider themselves religious. I do not want this party to be defined by 'acid', 'amnesty', 'abortion', 'welfare queens', or godless hedonists and aged hippies just for the sake of maintaining our 'principles', if indeed they even deserve the name.
If I get my way, this party will no longer be perceived as hostile to the those of religious faith or the military, incapable of defending America's interests abroad and in prosecuting the war on terrorism. I envision my Democratic Party to be dominated by moderate evangelical Christians, coupled with blacks, Latinos, mainline Protestant denominations, moderate-to-liberal Catholics, military veterans, and a recovering labor union movement increasingly based on the service sector of the economy. All these constituencies would be united by a shared belief in God, the centrality of the nuclear family, love of country and a strong identification with our nation's military, a belief that government can be a benevolent force, recognition of the need to protect the environment for the benefit of future generations, and a shared belief in the Protestant work ethic. In short, they would be everything you and Opebo are not.
If I get my way, this party will no longer be perceived as hostile to the those of religious faith or the military, incapable of defending America's interests abroad and in prosecuting the war on terrorism. I envision my Democratic Party to be dominated by moderate evangelical Christians, coupled with blacks, Latinos, mainline Protestant denominations, moderate-to-liberal Catholics, military veterans, and a recovering labor union movement increasingly based on the service sector of the economy. All these constituencies would be united by a shared belief in God, the centrality of the nuclear family, love of country and a strong identification with our nation's military, a belief that government can be a benevolent force, recognition of the need to protect the environment for the benefit of future generations, and a shared belief in the Protestant work ethic. In short, they would be everything you and Opebo are not.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on July 06, 2014, 09:50:42 PM
Take another look at that poll. It's not just me who is pissed at the Democratic party. 65% of the frigging party is. You are the one who is deluded, just because the party has been pandering to rednecks like you.
LOL! You really are deluded. I never met anyone who places such unconditional faith in the importance of a poll.
Opinion polls follow a fairly scientific process.
Of course you'd say this, as long as these polls give results you like.
Shut up.
LOL!
You are a pathetic person.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on July 06, 2014, 09:55:50 PM
So Phil posts excerpts from a PM from Inks, without his consent, and then complains that Inks has done the wrong thing for posting the entire PM? It rather reminds me of the burglar who sues the homeowner after he cut himself on the windowpane he broke. If this is an accurate summary of the conflict, than my respect for Phil will be greatly diminished.
I posted a sentence from his private message. Inks posted my entire message. He knew he was wrong.
I expected better from you than to side with idiocy and especially against me.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Enderman on July 06, 2014, 11:50:25 PM
I'm still smarting from my bad experience with watching the movie "The Fifth Element". I was very disappointed to learn that it wasn't about boron.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: #CriminalizeSobriety on July 07, 2014, 03:05:59 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=195205.0
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on July 08, 2014, 12:07:31 AM
None of these proposals addresses the core of the problem.
That being?
That thing which half the forum claims does not exist.
The Bradley Effect?
A meaning to life beyond electoral cartography?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on July 08, 2014, 02:56:37 AM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=195119.0 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=195119.0)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oldiesfreak1854 on July 08, 2014, 07:04:51 AM
He makes a good point:
One is a racist dictator with no respect for human rights and is guided by an extremist agenda. The other is Robert Mugabe.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on July 08, 2014, 08:18:51 AM
I certainly wouldn't be an Inks and try to insert myself as a character.
Next question.
Next question.
Oh, so you're not explicitly against the Update. I guess I never should have endorsed you, then.
Well, I guess you're an idiot.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on July 08, 2014, 03:00:43 PM
I don't think you guys understand this thread at all. You've been searching for a candidate that everyone is forgetting, but you forgot to look inside yourself. Every day that you get up in the morning, get dressed, say goodbye to your loved ones, and head off to school or work, that is the part of you that is a candidate for the presidency. When you ace that test or get that promotion, that's when you look inside of yourself and see a leader of the free world. When you say to your romantic partner "The state of our Union is strong!", that's you giving an address before both houses of Congress. And when you bump into someone on the subway and say "pardon me", that is the part of you that grants clemency to Caspar Weinberger and Marc Rich.
And here you guys were guessing names like Kathleen Sebelius and Charlie Crist. I hope you all feel embarrassed now.
And here you guys were guessing names like Kathleen Sebelius and Charlie Crist. I hope you all feel embarrassed now.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on July 08, 2014, 03:15:57 PM
Nothing obvious. Eric Cantor is but one of 435. The most significant question is whether it will result in a change of the majority.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on July 08, 2014, 06:53:01 PM
Aww, does somebody need a hug? :)
Hashtags are meant to be fun and spontaneous Mikado! You never know when to expect them, but they just bring something extra to conversations and even Facebook is using them now! Just keep on #Bolieving! :D
Hashtags are meant to be fun and spontaneous Mikado! You never know when to expect them, but they just bring something extra to conversations and even Facebook is using them now! Just keep on #Bolieving! :D
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on July 08, 2014, 07:01:52 PM
Quote from: John 2:15-16
And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the Enlightened and Resistance. And he poured out the portals of the Androids and overturned their tables. And he told those who established the portals, “Take these things away; do not make my Father's house a house of portals for your juvenile Ingress game.”
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on July 09, 2014, 10:36:42 AM
This is one of the most pointless threads ever.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sopranos Republican on July 09, 2014, 10:39:47 AM
You're a FF Mr Morden.
Thanks. (I was busy posting in other threads for the last five years, so just got around to responding to this now.)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on July 09, 2014, 11:51:22 PM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on July 10, 2014, 12:11:13 AM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: DC Al Fine on July 10, 2014, 05:30:57 PM
Are you a catholic?
Yes. I don't believe in God or anything or go to church, nor do I agree with the church's teachings on much, but I am, of course, still a Catholic and believe Protestantism needs to be stopped.
This gem absolutely belongs here.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on July 10, 2014, 09:02:15 PM
Why do you defend Catholicism while condemning Protestantism?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on July 10, 2014, 09:15:07 PM
Please stop, this is not funny.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on July 10, 2014, 10:21:42 PM
Convincing BRTD to drop the Sneakers O'Toole BS is like convincing Sneakers O'Toole to take his sneakers off.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on July 10, 2014, 10:45:10 PM
Richard Scott would be a great President.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: badgate on July 10, 2014, 11:02:27 PM
Rick Scott's healthcare plan will be Krazencare.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oldiesfreak1854 on July 11, 2014, 07:34:35 AM
Nah, strawberries taste great on their own. I've never tried it before, but I have tried strawberry ice cream which I don't like plus strawberry milk reminds me too much of Pepto-Bismol. :/
I do drink Olvaltine though and white milk if I ever eat cereal, cake or cookies. :P
I do drink Olvaltine though and white milk if I ever eat cereal, cake or cookies. :P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdA__2tKoIU
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Small Business Owner of Any Repute on July 11, 2014, 04:18:17 PM
Convincing BRTD to drop the Sneakers O'Toole BS is like convincing Sneakers O'Toole to take his sneakers off.
This quote is the only good thing to have ever come out of your dumb Sneakers O'Toole obsession.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on July 11, 2014, 10:46:56 PM
It's extremely shallow and pedantic.
Memphis isn't pedantic.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: RR1997 on July 12, 2014, 10:07:11 AM
Why did you make a don't ask topic when I already did?
Don't ask.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on July 13, 2014, 01:28:34 PM
Is it okay for me to participate in the Catholic Church's holy war on Protestantism when I myself have been neither baptized nor confirmed?
Yes, of course. In these troubling times the Counter-Reformation against liberal Protestantism needs all the allies we can get. The enemy of my enemy, after all, is my friend.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on July 13, 2014, 03:18:48 PM
Can't compare a serial drama to a sketch comedy show.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on July 13, 2014, 03:29:32 PM
Idiocracy at it's finest:
Sen.(and coal mine owner) Brandon Smith:
http://www.nationaljournal.com/energy/kentucky-senator-on-global-warming-there-are-no-coal-mines-on-mars-20140708
His aide said that he misspoke. The link has actually video.
And Sen. Kevin Sinnette on how climate change didn't kill the dinosaurs
http://wkms.org/post/kentucky-lawmakers-attack-climate-change-science-discussion-carbon-regulations
Honestly, I'm not real sure what point he was going after.
Sen.(and coal mine owner) Brandon Smith:
Quote
I don't want to get into the debate about climate change. But I will just simply point out that I think that in academia we all agree that the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that. Yet there are no coal mines on Mars, there's no factories on Mars that I'm aware of. So I think what we're looking at is something much greater than what we're going to do.
http://www.nationaljournal.com/energy/kentucky-senator-on-global-warming-there-are-no-coal-mines-on-mars-20140708
His aide said that he misspoke. The link has actually video.
And Sen. Kevin Sinnette on how climate change didn't kill the dinosaurs
Quote
The dinosaurs died, and we don’t know why, but the world adjusted. And to say that this is what’s going to cause detriment to people, I just don’t think it’s out there.
http://wkms.org/post/kentucky-lawmakers-attack-climate-change-science-discussion-carbon-regulations
Honestly, I'm not real sure what point he was going after.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on July 13, 2014, 10:13:08 PM
WTF? Your name is "Rogue Beaver". I'm pretty sure that's the code word used by bros at the club for a girl who is flying solo.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on July 13, 2014, 10:31:52 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=195520.msg4230759#msg4230759 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=195520.msg4230759#msg4230759)
Whole thread has me dead.
Whole thread has me dead.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on July 13, 2014, 11:14:30 PM
He already started misbehaving when he sent me random PMs out of the blue. I already passed that information on to Ernest two weeks ago.
You're not a mod anymore ::) This is someone else's problem now and besides, if Aizen was the one who created The Professor than he's already proven himself to be an invaluable contributor to the forum.
When someone sends me creepy, weird PMs out of the blue, it quite literally is my problem.
I'm glad you think that PM was creepy because it was exactly the same (bitchy and unnecessary) PM you sent me when you muted Mister Twister. The second PM was a "your mom" joke which I had to send because you walked right in to it so I couldn't resist.
Anyways, my sock-making days are over and your moderating days are over so I hope we can have engaging discussions about politics, Inks. If you want to continue hounding me, go ahead.
Still DOL.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on July 13, 2014, 11:36:29 PM
Because if Andrew Cuomo wins, the senate is guaranteed to turn Republican no matter what.
If Andrew Cuomo is elected, the numbers won't matter. The senate will turn Republican.
Also a simple truth.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on July 14, 2014, 09:17:22 AM
Inks has now become the 1980s era rogue cop, banned from the force, but still determined to take down the criminal who framed him for a crime he didn't commit.
Except in this case, there's no black police captain and Inks actually did commit the crime.
()
Except in this case, there's no black police captain and Inks actually did commit the crime.
()
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: LeBron on July 14, 2014, 05:04:50 PM
My brothers think Abbott could win by 30.
Please don't invite them to this site.
:P
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SWE on July 14, 2014, 05:06:50 PM
No surprise that the Dem governors got significantly higher grades from the People's Republic of the Atlas Forum.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on July 15, 2014, 12:29:08 AM
This is exactly why Aizen was allowed to return:
Why not just leak the whole board?
()
()
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oldiesfreak1854 on July 15, 2014, 08:08:48 AM
Context:
The name is pretty inappropriately sexual.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on July 15, 2014, 12:10:09 PM
Of course. They want to ban everybody interesting.
Wouldn't that work in your favour?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on July 15, 2014, 12:13:06 PM
One is a notorious troll who deserves to be banned forever.
And the other is Aizen, so of course he gets my vote.
And the other is Aizen, so of course he gets my vote.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on July 15, 2014, 01:08:14 PM
I think you'll find that many, many Conservative ministers over the past century have had beards...
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on July 15, 2014, 06:34:51 PM
Close this thread and rename it after Aizen.
We're done here.
We're done here.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sopranos Republican on July 15, 2014, 11:00:52 PM
Context:
"she'll get pregnant to the point she can't walk"
what kind of threat is that.
what kind of threat is that.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on July 15, 2014, 11:02:26 PM
This is rape culture; it shouldn't be applauded.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on July 16, 2014, 06:36:41 AM
Context:
Zone Libre, Zone Occupée, and Elsaß-Lothringen?
FN ... is even more demented.
Zone Libre, Zone Occupée, and Elsaß-Lothringen?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on July 16, 2014, 12:45:12 PM
I think the cocaine is what gets the floor traders fired up.
Damnit, Adam's signature is stretching the page again....
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on July 16, 2014, 04:31:05 PM
What does the prime minister of Ireland have to do with Taoism?
That's actually quite simpler to answer if one thinks of the Taoiseach as striving to strike a harmonious balance between austerity economics, special interest redneck lobby groups (see: the GAA and the inexplicable Garth Brooks popularity) and vapid populism.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SPC on July 16, 2014, 09:58:41 PM
Well, with this kind of behavior he's likely to end up at Texas death row.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on July 17, 2014, 07:22:20 AM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=195611.0
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on July 17, 2014, 05:04:58 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=170457.100
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on July 18, 2014, 05:17:56 AM
1865 Oldies would have be an enthusiastic Democrat on the basis of the belief that in the future the Democrats will be support racial equality.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on July 18, 2014, 06:19:42 AM
Wasn't aware than The Wizard of Oz was a role game.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Ebowed on July 18, 2014, 07:58:13 PM
Now that there is a Mitt Romney 2016 megathread, and for the record, I do not believe for a moment that Mitt will run for President in 2016, or ever again, but that aide, for the purposes of sheer speculation, let us say that Mitt did run in 2016, knowing what we know now, who would be the best running mate for Mitt?
Give your reasons for your choice or choices if you like.
Give your reasons for your choice or choices if you like.
I thought you would like this thread my friend. If Mitt doesn't run, who might he endorse?
Indeed, this entire forum owes you a debt of gratitude for this magnificent thread.
You had a wonderful idea and demonstrated great foresight in creating this thread to discuss one of America's great leaders.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: LeBron on July 18, 2014, 09:10:56 PM
Can you lend me some oil?
My oil!
And don't you forget it. ;)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on July 20, 2014, 10:56:04 AM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Enderman on July 20, 2014, 11:14:09 AM
If there is something bad, I'm sure my moderators will be up to the task of handling it. But do we really want this thread to reach page 10? I made this website for election maps, so I don't understand why you're spending so much time on this "Forum Community" board.
Thanks,
Dave
()
Here, happy now?
I'm satisfied with your efforts, but let me be clear. The only maps that can truly make me "happy", and forgetful of my imprisonment in Tender Branson's basement are those maps that I color in myself. Fortunately, Tender allows me ample time every day for map coloring.
Thanks,
Dave
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicallefty on July 20, 2014, 11:59:06 AM
Rye and ginger is my drink.
I wish. I can't wait to be an old man.
I found this seriously funny (and not in an insulting way at all).
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Badger on July 21, 2014, 06:40:40 PM
Wasn't aware than The Wizard of Oz was a role game.
I'm SOOOOO disappointed someone deleted this thread before I could enjoy whatever life tragedy it addressed. :(
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mopsus on July 21, 2014, 08:22:48 PM
Spent a week in Hawai'i recently. First couple days went okay, saw Pearl Harbor,went to a luau etc. Then on my second to last day, I almost got in a fight with a Hawaiian on the bus, because I didn't get out of my seat fast enough. (He had Parkinson's so I was supposed to give it to him). And of course I got off at the wrong stop. I wound up in Chinatown, surrounded by broken glass,graffiti and stores with bars on the windows. I ended up spending a night in jail to because I wouldn't let a cop search my bag.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on July 21, 2014, 08:28:16 PM
Wasn't aware than The Wizard of Oz was a role game.
I'm SOOOOO disappointed someone deleted this thread before I could enjoy whatever life tragedy it addressed. :(
Wasn't deleted. Just merged into a megathread. Here's my original post it's in response to (in response to claiming that Ingress is larping):
Ingress players:
()
LARPers:
()
()
LARPers:
()
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on July 21, 2014, 08:32:50 PM
So it's LARPing as tech-sector yuppies in aviator shades, or...?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: traininthedistance on July 21, 2014, 09:28:19 PM
So it's LARPing as tech-sector yuppies in aviator shades, or...?
It's Google's pathetically transparent attempt to get people to actually use G+, far as I can tell.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on July 21, 2014, 09:32:51 PM
So it's LARPing as tech-sector yuppies in aviator shades, or...?
It's Google's pathetically transparent attempt to get people to actually use G+, far as I can tell.
Is what I said really any different from that?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on July 22, 2014, 01:51:57 PM
Sounds like it was great.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SWE on July 22, 2014, 01:53:26 PM
Obsessing over me won't help you get the dictatorship of the proletariat.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on July 22, 2014, 01:54:28 PM
Obsessing over me won't help you get the dictatorship of the proletariat.
The Professor?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on July 22, 2014, 02:58:30 PM
Obsessing over me won't help you get the dictatorship of the proletariat.
The Professor?
I don't know if you were here when The Professor turned out to be Aizen, but The Professor turned out to be Aizen, and then recently Aizen came back for real (as Panda Express), so let's hope he doesn't have Mr. Pollo as a sock as well. It's not like it's a hard comedic style to imitate (although imitating it well is another issue).
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on July 22, 2014, 03:49:46 PM
Obsessing over me won't help you get the dictatorship of the proletariat.
The Professor?
I don't know if you were here when The Professor turned out to be Aizen, but The Professor turned out to be Aizen, and then recently Aizen came back for real (as Panda Express), so let's hope he doesn't have Mr. Pollo as a sock as well. It's not like it's a hard comedic style to imitate (although imitating it well is another issue).
I was there for all of that, still it just seemed very funny to follow the "doing x won't help you get y" formula, whether it is The Professor or not.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on July 22, 2014, 04:18:37 PM
Dave Liep pays me for trolling this dump.
He should have paid you to learn the spelling of "Leip".
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on July 22, 2014, 05:30:46 PM
So it's LARPing as tech-sector yuppies in aviator shades, or...?
It's Google's pathetically transparent attempt to get people to actually use G+, far as I can tell.
Which is perfectly fine by me, as G+ is superior to Facebook in every way functionally and aesthetically. And of course if it was used as much as Facebook it'd be full with as many idiots as Facebook so I'm not sure I'm going to ask for that to happen. Think of how MySpace was terrible, everyone complained about it, Facebook was better, and then when MySpace started dying and everyone started migrating to Facebook Facebook turned into what MySpace was.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Flake on July 23, 2014, 12:51:33 AM
Context:
In unrelated news, Bing has announced that Dana Rohrbacher is their new spokesman.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: AndrewTX on July 23, 2014, 06:01:41 AM
Bushie's next job: working in a chocolate factory with an out-of-control conveyor belt.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: solarstorm on July 23, 2014, 07:24:06 AM
Kingston willl win by a larger margin than expected.
I think the winner will be Kingston.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🦀🎂🦀🎂 on July 23, 2014, 06:16:04 PM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Enderman on July 23, 2014, 09:07:45 PM
At this point I can't imagine using the forum with signatures turned on. They add nothing.
So you don't associate me with a spunky Latina governor...? :(
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: LeBron on July 24, 2014, 01:09:47 AM
That's all for tonight. Next up is the Virgin Islands Primary on August 2nd.
That will be on hell of an election !
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on July 24, 2014, 09:34:52 AM
Warner is under 50, so tossup
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on July 24, 2014, 10:11:43 AM
Context:
The Hipsters are surrendering? Finally this bloody war can come to a conclusion. At least the good guys won.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on July 24, 2014, 10:53:26 AM
At this point I can't imagine using the forum with signatures turned on. They add nothing.
So you don't associate me with a spunky Latina governor...? :(
Weird.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on July 24, 2014, 06:58:09 PM
Del Tachi, I served with Ted Kennedy. I knew Ted Kennedy. Ted Kennedy was a friend of mine. Del Tachi, these Senators are no Ted Kennedy.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on July 24, 2014, 09:39:44 PM
Congratulations Governor Astornio
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on July 25, 2014, 05:26:26 AM
Context:
Djehff-brOWn
with the 'ow' sound like 'owl'
with the 'ow' sound like 'owl'
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on July 25, 2014, 05:48:41 AM
Context:
Djehff-brOWn
with the 'ow' sound like 'owl'
with the 'ow' sound like 'owl'
Came here to post that :P.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on July 25, 2014, 08:36:17 AM
If I could pick something totally out of politics, I'd pick funeral home organist.
You mean the music producer on Stern?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on July 25, 2014, 11:24:37 AM
Sheesh, Gully. How many pages are you going to drag this thread out? And what is this, about the XVth "petition to ban so-and-so" thread you've made? How many people pile onto these threads, discussing the ins and outs of who should be banned, as if this is some kind of reality TV show, rather than people's lives? This is really sad.
I'm sorry that I have to piss on your freak show, but your repeated "petition to ban Poster X" threads show you to be an attention seeking troll (he says diplomatically). Your contributions do little good, and these threads have become a forum circus, which are followed by the chronically bored and 'ironists' alike. It's clear that no matter how much we try to dissuade you, you ignore our advice and are really only interested in the attention. Given the difficulties of your life and the way that you abuse the forum, I think it would be best if you were banned instantly.
Right now Atlas is in a pretty terrible state even by its own standards. I think we should take steps towards improving it and this would be the first.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Badger on July 25, 2014, 03:40:45 PM
Context
Well, I laughed. :P
My recommendation is to leave Bugs Bunny alone and spend some quality time with Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire at either his mansion or his yacht.
Well, I laughed. :P
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on July 25, 2014, 03:41:01 PM
For the record I have Sephardi ancestry on my father's side.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on July 25, 2014, 10:44:07 PM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on July 27, 2014, 01:58:25 PM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on July 28, 2014, 01:50:26 AM
It is my greatest shame, from when I was a fascist for a couple weeks in early 2013.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: SPC on July 28, 2014, 02:32:00 PM
So God changed his mind or what?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on July 28, 2014, 08:48:16 PM
Wow, over the span of this short season, I have been vilely insulted, called mentally ill, my parents have been insulted and reviled, my friends have been insulted and called mentally ill because they "don't see the real me." I am not going to subject myself and the ones I love to this type of childish attacks. You guys are completely pathetic. You give no thought to how a person might feel. You all seem to think you are 100% correct 100% of the time and that I am never correct. You guys are just flat arrogant and wrong. I have done nothing wrong and my parents and friends have done nothing wrong.
This ends the Update once and for all.
This ends the Update once and for all.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on July 29, 2014, 11:18:17 AM
Then you have this swarm of illegals coming across our border. The reaction from everyone I've spoken to is, "Send them packin'!" But then the President is silent. I've heard people recently asking, "Why won't the President do something!?!" I think the reason he won't address the problem, is because to him, innocent illegal Mexicans spilling into our country isn't a problem. It's the disconnect that even many Democrats have been speaking about in recent weeks.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on July 29, 2014, 11:01:06 PM
RitaHeigl256, spelling it out is required, dangerous and punishable, welcome to the forum and if you have a hard hat handy, best bring it along.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on July 30, 2014, 12:54:25 AM
This entire thread. (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=196375.0)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sol on July 30, 2014, 08:07:56 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=193070.msg0#new
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on July 31, 2014, 03:51:44 AM
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on July 31, 2014, 04:30:51 AM
Yes it's a fitting title change. It's the closest to one of the world's top selective educational institutions that you're ever going to get. Suck on it.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on August 01, 2014, 08:46:11 AM
I don't like to mention the Oxford thing
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Hifly on August 01, 2014, 08:56:42 AM
A claim that if true just makes your opposition to gay marriage more jarring because their opposition has the benefit of making sense.
So you accept religious opposition to gay marriage as a valid reason?
The only valid opposition to gay marriage is opposition to the archaic construct in its entirety. Anything else is recycling engrained dogma or bigotry.
I simply believe that marriage is a traditional institution which should not be sullied through arbitrary redefinition. I like the homosexuals and I have homosexual friends. But I do not support them having the ability to enter matrimony.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on August 01, 2014, 02:58:21 PM
I like the homosexuals
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Bacon King on August 01, 2014, 03:06:39 PM
NO EXTENDED DISCUSSION ABOUT UNFUNNY THINGS IN MY COMEDY INSTITUTE PLZ i have taken the liberty of putting the organ scholarship debate in a new thread
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: LeBron on August 01, 2014, 03:09:04 PM
I wouldnt Pryor, will beat back the Hutchinsons after all, thats who he is running against, too.
What?
xD
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Tender Branson on August 02, 2014, 08:31:41 AM
Quote
"Police Found Fitzgerald in Car with Another Woman (http://www.cleveland.com/open/index.ssf/2014/08/call_about_suspicious_car_led.html)"
Finally, the name recognition boost Fitzgerald has been waiting for!
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on August 02, 2014, 06:59:47 PM
"Oh Ed, that was mind-blowing," Joanne said, rehooking her bra. Her Irish lilt served only to make FitzGerald more aroused. He held up a small plastic bag, a glint in his eye. "I've got to get back home soon, my wife's going to be wondering where I am. But first, wanna smoke up?" he said, grinning. Afterward, when Joanne had vomited and driven off in his car, FitzGerald sat in the rain, struggling to get the stench of the drug off his jacket. Eventually, FitzGerald stood, looked into the dark, and began to laugh. He stayed like that for some time.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on August 03, 2014, 12:54:35 AM
I would think that if one wanted to be outraged by a restaurant, it would be better to be angry at The Olive Garden for claiming to be Italian.
This.
I live in Texas where no one is Italian including myself and even I saw right through those BS commercials they used to do where "Great Uncle Mario" or whoever came to visit from Italy and his American relatives took him to Olive Garden for "Hospitaliano" that reminded him immediately of home. Even your average Oklahoman would probably be unfazed by that song-and-dance.
Luckily in Texas we have the much more authentic and delicious Macaroni Grill. Though last time I went there, after not having been in a while, it had declined in quality significantly from when I was a kid.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on August 04, 2014, 03:29:20 AM
If Democrats want to win Texas, SJL and company have got to go.
(Obviously her presence doesn't have that much of an impact, but come on.)
(Obviously her presence doesn't have that much of an impact, but come on.)
But the real question is: how will this impact Democrats in Eastern Kentucky?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: traininthedistance on August 04, 2014, 09:04:22 AM
Come on, Gauss. This thread is about as trustworthy as a penis-length contest with self-reporting.
EDIT: (9 inches)
EDIT: (9 inches)
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: King on August 04, 2014, 01:14:29 PM
It won't get mainstream attention until lives are lost, unfortunately.
Is that a reference to the OP, or reading t_host1's posts?
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on August 04, 2014, 03:30:52 PM
I think Adam actually is Ed Fitzgerald.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Enderman on August 05, 2014, 02:21:56 AM
I read through the Sulfur Mine Thread then suddenly:
I have been across the entire state in three days, and boy do I have some tales to tell.
Title: Re: The Bacon King Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on August 05, 2014, 11:00:17 AM
Left-wingers have a long history of committing political atrocities that have resulted in the deaths of thousands to millions; from the Reign of Terror all the way up to the Cambodian Genocide.
You'll never hear about that from the left-wing, globalist mass media; though. Instead, they use a handful of isolated incidents (many of which have a high possibility of being false flag attacks) to make the claim that ''all right-wingers are potential terrorists'' while at the same time pretending that left-wingers never commit violent acts themselves.
Before you hit me with the usual response that I'm a crazy, extreme right-wing conspiracy theorist who needs to take his meds; take a look at Hal Turner. He's proof that the feds do, in fact, set people up to play the role of their political opponents and act aggressively so they can justify making moves against them. They even encouraged him to use violent rhetoric.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hal_Turner#FBI_Informant
You'll never hear about that from the left-wing, globalist mass media; though. Instead, they use a handful of isolated incidents (many of which have a high possibility of being false flag attacks) to make the claim that ''all right-wingers are potential terrorists'' while at the same time pretending that left-wingers never commit violent acts themselves.
Before you hit me with the usual response that I'm a crazy, extreme right-wing conspiracy theorist who needs to take his meds; take a look at Hal Turner. He's proof that the feds do, in fact, set people up to play the role of their political opponents and act aggressively so they can justify making moves against them. They even encouraged him to use violent rhetoric.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hal_Turner#FBI_Informant
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on August 05, 2014, 02:15:28 PM
Everything I was raised to see as bad and scum is trying hard to push an agenda.
When I was a kid, we used to watch PSA videos showing Ronald Reagan or Bill Clinton telling us about DARE and how to not use drugs. We now have a President making jokes about using drugs in public. What kind of message does that send? It is not a good thing.
We have liberals destroying our country. Literally. Gay people represent a minuet fraction of the population, but you can't turn on the radio, the TV, open a magazine without having it in your face. I never saw anything wrong with gay people, and when I found out that some people were gay as a kid in the 1990s, I didn't need a gay reality show or gay weddings thrown in my face to make me understand and be tolerant.
It's amazing how desperate people get when they want to make unhealthy and unnatural things natural just to make the slim minority of those with socially, unethical, and unnatural logic feel a little better about their flaws.
When I was a kid, we used to watch PSA videos showing Ronald Reagan or Bill Clinton telling us about DARE and how to not use drugs. We now have a President making jokes about using drugs in public. What kind of message does that send? It is not a good thing.
We have liberals destroying our country. Literally. Gay people represent a minuet fraction of the population, but you can't turn on the radio, the TV, open a magazine without having it in your face. I never saw anything wrong with gay people, and when I found out that some people were gay as a kid in the 1990s, I didn't need a gay reality show or gay weddings thrown in my face to make me understand and be tolerant.
It's amazing how desperate people get when they want to make unhealthy and unnatural things natural just to make the slim minority of those with socially, unethical, and unnatural logic feel a little better about their flaws.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sopranos Republican on August 05, 2014, 05:33:23 PM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on August 05, 2014, 08:18:22 PM
[bThis is a polling aggregate database that will accept any kind of polls and not discriminate against anyone.
Oh really?
SirNick Polling:
Every State:
Clinton: 99%
All Others: 1%
Margin of Error +/- 50%
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: SPC on August 05, 2014, 09:06:54 PM
Context:
I just don't want another Dan Quayle 1988 moment.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on August 05, 2014, 10:10:41 PM
Context:
He must have been misquoted. There's no way in hell he would have used the term 'Democratic Party'.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Flake on August 06, 2014, 10:38:55 AM
Dorman may have an opening if he can use that enough to his advantage.
This is Mary Fallin we're talking about. It shouldn't be too hard to find an opening.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on August 07, 2014, 09:20:04 PM
I see LGBTs have finally begun discriminating against each other on the basis of their own internal hierarchies. In other words, they have officially been been accepted by and assimilated into American society :P
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on August 08, 2014, 12:41:50 AM
I know that the forum will appreciate this crime against cartography (http://www.newrepublic.com/article/119011/map-how-much-24-states-lost-refusing-expand-medicaid) from The New Republic:
()
Are they even trying? Who would look at that map and think that it conveys any useful information?
()
Are they even trying? Who would look at that map and think that it conveys any useful information?
This man:
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?action=profile;u=3398
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on August 08, 2014, 08:36:05 AM
Does Bacon King care about the southern border as much as he does Kurds though?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Flake on August 08, 2014, 03:24:30 PM
Can you all just shut up on this thread and realise that Fitzgerald is going to cakewalk this election, and if he doesn't, well, it will be oh-so-narrow and only because of Kasich's lies about the virtuous wonderful FitzGeRaLd not being as squeaky clean as the Ohio Democrats claim. Which FitzGeRaLd is. Squeaky clean, that is.
If anyone dares to disagree, I have at least six more paragraphs in me (per post) with which to pummel anyone who DisaGrees with the obvious fact of FitzGeRaLd's cakewalk to victory into submission.
Kneel before the revealed truth, and put those polls aside. Everyone knows polls are always wrong (especially in a nation with such an unsophisticated rough polling operation such as the USA)
If anyone dares to disagree, I have at least six more paragraphs in me (per post) with which to pummel anyone who DisaGrees with the obvious fact of FitzGeRaLd's cakewalk to victory into submission.
Kneel before the revealed truth, and put those polls aside. Everyone knows polls are always wrong (especially in a nation with such an unsophisticated rough polling operation such as the USA)
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Flake on August 08, 2014, 03:40:05 PM
I am not a hack.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: TTS1996 on August 08, 2014, 03:47:08 PM
Can you all just shut up on this thread and realise that Fitzgerald is going to cakewalk this election, and if he doesn't, well, it will be oh-so-narrow and only because of Kasich's lies about the virtuous wonderful FitzGeRaLd not being as squeaky clean as the Ohio Democrats claim. Which FitzGeRaLd is. Squeaky clean, that is.
If anyone dares to disagree, I have at least six more paragraphs in me (per post) with which to pummel anyone who DisaGrees with the obvious fact of FitzGeRaLd's cakewalk to victory into submission.
Kneel before the revealed truth, and put those polls aside. Everyone knows polls are always wrong (especially in a nation with such an unsophisticated rough polling operation such as the USA)
If anyone dares to disagree, I have at least six more paragraphs in me (per post) with which to pummel anyone who DisaGrees with the obvious fact of FitzGeRaLd's cakewalk to victory into submission.
Kneel before the revealed truth, and put those polls aside. Everyone knows polls are always wrong (especially in a nation with such an unsophisticated rough polling operation such as the USA)
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on August 08, 2014, 04:47:31 PM
Yeah, but similar to the above, I got bored of it after like a day. I preferred building things with Legos and then crashing them into each other and destroying them.
Of course nowadays children are too busy watching high definition pornography on their iPads to play with wholesome toys like that.
Of course nowadays children are too busy watching high definition pornography on their iPads to play with wholesome toys like that.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on August 09, 2014, 12:37:50 AM
brah
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Race/ethnicity: White (Scots-Irish)
Religion: Protestant/Methodist
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 120
Location: NC Piedmont
Where you were born: NC Piedmont
Occupation: Graduate student, advisory services
Political figure you most admire: Huey Long or Helen Keller (most definitely no one prominent today or in the past 35-40 years)
Favorite President: Andrew Jackson
Political Orientation: Vehemently opposed to both bankster parties - including "independent" politicians who caucus with said parties (e.g., Sanders); even reluctant toward minor parties - including Greens - who still perpetuate the myth that taxes "pay" for spending. Non-negotiable policies: permanent WPA to guarantee full employment, Medicare for All, federally capitalized state banks, bailout underwater homeowners, dissolve the TBTF banks because "regulating" them is kabuki and a fool's errand (clue stick: regulatory capture), Congress selected by lottery (makes campaign finance reform(TM) moot), and dissolve the Fed/return the power "to coin money and regulate the value thereof" to Congress (per Article I, Section 8, Clause 5). Especially furious for being sucked into the Dem veal pin for so long, as they are able to get away with more egregious upward wealth transfer and imperialism than their Repub "opponents" could ever get away with, meanwhile using identity "politics" are their carte blanche. TL;DR: Big-spending, limited power, public purpose government (why people try to collapse these three dimensions into one "left"-"right" axis is beyond me...)
Favorite Musician(s): George Strait, Eric Church, Josh Turner, Miranda Lambert, Kenny Chesney, Brooks & Dunn, Alabama, Dwight Yoakam, Alan Jackson, Zac Brown Band, Kacey Musgraves, Lee Brice, ... , almost anything country!
Favorite Sports teams: UNC Tar Heels, FL Gators, ATL Braves, STL Cardinals, Carolina Panthers, Nola Saints
Favorite Books (non-fiction):
- Debt: The First 5,000 Years
- The Trouble with Diversity: How We Learned to Love Identity and Ignore Inequality
- Seven Deadly Innocent Frauds of Economic Policy
- Understanding Modern Money: The Key to Full Employment and Price Stability
- Econned
Favorite Books (fiction):
- The Grapes of Wrath
- 1984
- Animal Farm
Favorite Shows: King of the Hill; Walker, Texas Ranger; 30 Rock; Strangers with Candy; It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Favorite Movies: Syriana, Fargo, Into the Wild
News Source:
- nakedcapitalism.com
- wolfstreet.com
- ZeroHedge (despite the goldbugs, and Paul-bots, good exposure of QE, ZIRP, absolution of bankster crimes, and unemployment)
- any reporting from Matt Taibbi
Other interests: Economics (modern monetary theory), fitness, sports, mathematics, geography, architecture, music
Favorite person on Atlas: idk
Least Favorite person on Atlas: idk
Favorite color: red
Do you live by yourself: no
Do you have any siblings? yes
Relationship status? open relationship
What year did you join Atlas? 2004
Do you have any nieces, nephews? no
Have you ever been attracted to someone of the same sex? yes
If you could pick your own nationality, what nationality would you pick? Spanish, Italian, Greek, Turkish, Portuguese, or Cuban
Gender: Male
Race/ethnicity: White (Scots-Irish)
Religion: Protestant/Methodist
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 120
Location: NC Piedmont
Where you were born: NC Piedmont
Occupation: Graduate student, advisory services
Political figure you most admire: Huey Long or Helen Keller (most definitely no one prominent today or in the past 35-40 years)
Favorite President: Andrew Jackson
Political Orientation: Vehemently opposed to both bankster parties - including "independent" politicians who caucus with said parties (e.g., Sanders); even reluctant toward minor parties - including Greens - who still perpetuate the myth that taxes "pay" for spending. Non-negotiable policies: permanent WPA to guarantee full employment, Medicare for All, federally capitalized state banks, bailout underwater homeowners, dissolve the TBTF banks because "regulating" them is kabuki and a fool's errand (clue stick: regulatory capture), Congress selected by lottery (makes campaign finance reform(TM) moot), and dissolve the Fed/return the power "to coin money and regulate the value thereof" to Congress (per Article I, Section 8, Clause 5). Especially furious for being sucked into the Dem veal pin for so long, as they are able to get away with more egregious upward wealth transfer and imperialism than their Repub "opponents" could ever get away with, meanwhile using identity "politics" are their carte blanche. TL;DR: Big-spending, limited power, public purpose government (why people try to collapse these three dimensions into one "left"-"right" axis is beyond me...)
Favorite Musician(s): George Strait, Eric Church, Josh Turner, Miranda Lambert, Kenny Chesney, Brooks & Dunn, Alabama, Dwight Yoakam, Alan Jackson, Zac Brown Band, Kacey Musgraves, Lee Brice, ... , almost anything country!
Favorite Sports teams: UNC Tar Heels, FL Gators, ATL Braves, STL Cardinals, Carolina Panthers, Nola Saints
Favorite Books (non-fiction):
- Debt: The First 5,000 Years
- The Trouble with Diversity: How We Learned to Love Identity and Ignore Inequality
- Seven Deadly Innocent Frauds of Economic Policy
- Understanding Modern Money: The Key to Full Employment and Price Stability
- Econned
Favorite Books (fiction):
- The Grapes of Wrath
- 1984
- Animal Farm
Favorite Shows: King of the Hill; Walker, Texas Ranger; 30 Rock; Strangers with Candy; It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Favorite Movies: Syriana, Fargo, Into the Wild
News Source:
- nakedcapitalism.com
- wolfstreet.com
- ZeroHedge (despite the goldbugs, and Paul-bots, good exposure of QE, ZIRP, absolution of bankster crimes, and unemployment)
- any reporting from Matt Taibbi
Other interests: Economics (modern monetary theory), fitness, sports, mathematics, geography, architecture, music
Favorite person on Atlas: idk
Least Favorite person on Atlas: idk
Favorite color: red
Do you live by yourself: no
Do you have any siblings? yes
Relationship status? open relationship
What year did you join Atlas? 2004
Do you have any nieces, nephews? no
Have you ever been attracted to someone of the same sex? yes
If you could pick your own nationality, what nationality would you pick? Spanish, Italian, Greek, Turkish, Portuguese, or Cuban
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on August 09, 2014, 04:18:07 AM
An Update update:
Full belly + vegetating in the love seat + watching TV = big yawns...
I am so happy and grateful that God allowed me to put in a full week of work
My nerves were always frayed in the call centers with customers cussing me out from sunup to sundown.
I don't like to drive 80 miles JUST for dinner. That seems rather excessive.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: SPC on August 09, 2014, 01:25:04 PM
Obviously George W. is the correct answer. Russia didn't invade sovereign nations when Bush was president.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on August 09, 2014, 09:42:49 PM
I've never smoked it, but I have ingested it. They were some good brownies though.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on August 10, 2014, 03:39:16 AM
Trudeau by 1.609344 kilometers
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: solarstorm on August 10, 2014, 08:58:01 AM
I am one of the people who voted Abercrombie in this poll because I think his response to the hurricane may put him over the top, despite what the pre-hurricane polling data says. He's been on TV the past few days "just doing his job". His opponent has not.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on August 10, 2014, 12:37:05 PM
Meanwhile, I woke up today and, for the 5962nd day in a row, thought something besides "Gee, I sure am glad Israel legalized gay sex in 1988. Where else would I go to flee this homophobic hellhole that is suburban New York?"
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Kushahontas on August 10, 2014, 03:58:59 PM
Until I saw that ad I had no idea Abbott was in a wheelchair.
He opposes the ADA, so maybe he has no idea he's in one either.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on August 11, 2014, 04:39:42 AM
"If an Irish woman comes across my desk, I'm going to bang her."
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on August 11, 2014, 11:56:10 AM
These baby penguins are also not sure that Hillary Clinton would make a good president:
http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-baby-penguins-are-pretty-cute-dont-stand-chance--686
()
http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-baby-penguins-are-pretty-cute-dont-stand-chance--686
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on August 11, 2014, 06:33:37 PM
The reason for that is that watching porn creates unrealistic expectations when you are lucky enough to get in the bedroom with your spouse.
Well, for Oklahomans, I suppose that's true.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Miles on August 13, 2014, 06:21:14 PM
Right.
Back in the real world, Roberts wins comfortably and Brownback wins fairly easily, too.
Back in the real world, Roberts wins comfortably and Brownback wins fairly easily, too.
Why should we expect Brownback to win easily?
The GOP is going to be riled up come November. In a state like Kansas, they're going to be very hard pressed to give the Dems a pick up unless Brownback was on the verge of going to prison. Partisan and ideological allegiances will mean too much in these safe states.
We already lead with Jason Carter in Ga, while Nunn can still win. The Deal scandle speaks for itself. The GOP is 10 pts down in KS,
Thanks for:
A) totally irrelevant information (Carter will also lose, by the way).
B) regurgitating information about KS now.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on August 14, 2014, 04:48:54 AM
I think Hillary is mistaken in attacking Obama's foreign policy when she was its architect for several years. Does anybody remember Bengazhi? That was on Obama and Hillary and you can't avoid that.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on August 14, 2014, 07:04:40 AM
Also they should add a "Libertarians and True Leftists" row, so that Isis has a friend.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Bacon King on August 14, 2014, 02:14:49 PM
I think America's preferred future place in international relations should be as this almighty Sky God that rains fire on those who goes against its will but never directly imposes itself on the situation.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: NHLiberal on August 14, 2014, 02:33:03 PM
Grimes will be crushed, of course. The idea that Democrats will pick up Georgia and Kentucky is cute.
Take a look at Wi and KS gubernatorial elections, Dems can pick up. It is a reform yr, and anti incumbant yr, McConnell isnt safe.
Come on dude, year is only a 4 letter word.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on August 15, 2014, 10:53:38 AM
To anyone but an idiot, the answer is yes. And no, the solution to voting 'no' is not 'the UN should never have created Israel in 1947 and hence Israel would not have existed today'. The question is about Israel today. Israel today has the right to exist.
As for all those American smart arses who seem to think the Second World War was just a European problem, and that instead of creating Israel, the Jewish people should have been given Bavaria (let's face it, the solution isn't Schleswig-Hostein-Israel, it's Bavaria isn't it?) do consider this:
AN EDICT
FROM TRYGVE LIE
SECRETARY GENERAL, UNITED NATIONS
2 FEBRUARY 1946
TO THE PEOPLE OF BAVARIA
1) For a long time you have been brainwashed by the Hitler cult into hating the Jews. Millions have been sent to their deaths, on the basis of your Fuhrer believing that the Jews were wicked people who wanted to take over your country. This is false and is hateful anti-semitism. The world rejects it utterly. The horrors of the Holocaust were built on a lie. You ought to be ashamed for believing it.
By the way, we have allocated Bavaria as the new Jewish homeland. You will be expelled and the Jews given your state as their new home. This is alright, ok?
2) As it is 1946 you will not know yet of the horrors of the forced marches in 1947 of Muslims out of India into Pakistan, or of the Hindus and Sikhs out of Pakistan into India. Once we march you out of your homes and out of Bavaria, count yourselves lucky. You now have two Germanies to choose your new homes in: capitalist FDR or communist DDR. What choice!
(NB Please disregard everything Hitler and the Nazis told you in the last twelve years about capitalism and communism being two sides of the same sh*tty coin. This was just Nazi propaganda. Please scrub this from your mind as you indure your forced march into your choice of Germany)
TO THE PEOPLE OF GERMANY
Basically, ditto. Hitler indoctrinated you against the Jews, but this was wicked and evil. As you are forced to billet a Bavarian in your house and cope on even fewer calories per day, thank the Lord that Hitler was wrong about the capricious Jews, and that you have the pleasure of sharing your daily half-loaf of bread with the Muenchener forced to give their home to the Jewish fatherland.
TO THE JEWISH PEOPLE
We are horrified at the German massacre of the Jews. Never, under our watch, will you have to endure these horrors again. So, for now, could you please go and settle in the strongest corner of Nazism down there in Germany, and make it your own. Yes, you're surrounded on two sides by Germans, and on the other two sides by puppet states of Joseph 'Doctor's Plot' Stalin, but then what more do you Yids want, slimily grasping away for land in Palestine? Ins't this enough? Hitler didn't try to kill you all for nothing, you know.
(NB Given the horrors, could you yourselves please pull down Dachau, and raize to the ground the ruins of the Brown House, and any other places you might like to destroy in your new homeland? We can't be bothered. You wanted saving; we've done that, now you make your new homeland pleasant for yourselves, we've simply not the time for it)
BY ORDER
THE VERY CONCERNED TRUE LEFTIST UNITED NATIONS OF ATLAS
1946
PS You wanted a homeland, didn't you? What do you mean Bavaria's a land utterly hateful to you and nowhere near your Holy Land, you ungrateful snipes? Well, look, if we gave you Palestine, in 70 years time a religious group that are very docile and quiescent now may get uppity - and we'd be forced to side with them because we don't really like kikes and Yids regardless of Hitlerism - so could you just take Bavaria now and save us any problems then?
As for all those American smart arses who seem to think the Second World War was just a European problem, and that instead of creating Israel, the Jewish people should have been given Bavaria (let's face it, the solution isn't Schleswig-Hostein-Israel, it's Bavaria isn't it?) do consider this:
AN EDICT
FROM TRYGVE LIE
SECRETARY GENERAL, UNITED NATIONS
2 FEBRUARY 1946
TO THE PEOPLE OF BAVARIA
1) For a long time you have been brainwashed by the Hitler cult into hating the Jews. Millions have been sent to their deaths, on the basis of your Fuhrer believing that the Jews were wicked people who wanted to take over your country. This is false and is hateful anti-semitism. The world rejects it utterly. The horrors of the Holocaust were built on a lie. You ought to be ashamed for believing it.
By the way, we have allocated Bavaria as the new Jewish homeland. You will be expelled and the Jews given your state as their new home. This is alright, ok?
2) As it is 1946 you will not know yet of the horrors of the forced marches in 1947 of Muslims out of India into Pakistan, or of the Hindus and Sikhs out of Pakistan into India. Once we march you out of your homes and out of Bavaria, count yourselves lucky. You now have two Germanies to choose your new homes in: capitalist FDR or communist DDR. What choice!
(NB Please disregard everything Hitler and the Nazis told you in the last twelve years about capitalism and communism being two sides of the same sh*tty coin. This was just Nazi propaganda. Please scrub this from your mind as you indure your forced march into your choice of Germany)
TO THE PEOPLE OF GERMANY
Basically, ditto. Hitler indoctrinated you against the Jews, but this was wicked and evil. As you are forced to billet a Bavarian in your house and cope on even fewer calories per day, thank the Lord that Hitler was wrong about the capricious Jews, and that you have the pleasure of sharing your daily half-loaf of bread with the Muenchener forced to give their home to the Jewish fatherland.
TO THE JEWISH PEOPLE
We are horrified at the German massacre of the Jews. Never, under our watch, will you have to endure these horrors again. So, for now, could you please go and settle in the strongest corner of Nazism down there in Germany, and make it your own. Yes, you're surrounded on two sides by Germans, and on the other two sides by puppet states of Joseph 'Doctor's Plot' Stalin, but then what more do you Yids want, slimily grasping away for land in Palestine? Ins't this enough? Hitler didn't try to kill you all for nothing, you know.
(NB Given the horrors, could you yourselves please pull down Dachau, and raize to the ground the ruins of the Brown House, and any other places you might like to destroy in your new homeland? We can't be bothered. You wanted saving; we've done that, now you make your new homeland pleasant for yourselves, we've simply not the time for it)
BY ORDER
THE VERY CONCERNED TRUE LEFTIST UNITED NATIONS OF ATLAS
1946
PS You wanted a homeland, didn't you? What do you mean Bavaria's a land utterly hateful to you and nowhere near your Holy Land, you ungrateful snipes? Well, look, if we gave you Palestine, in 70 years time a religious group that are very docile and quiescent now may get uppity - and we'd be forced to side with them because we don't really like kikes and Yids regardless of Hitlerism - so could you just take Bavaria now and save us any problems then?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on August 15, 2014, 06:49:24 PM
Whoa, Phil, please take your disgusting anti-Kanye hate speech somewhere else. No wants that on this forum.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Kushahontas on August 16, 2014, 02:50:48 PM
Write-in: Houston (normal)
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Reginald on August 16, 2014, 03:17:32 PM
Let us all remember the huge qualification for anyone under indictment or arrest or even at trial: the four words that keep legal process from becoming a lynching:
IF GUILTY A CHARGED
IF GUILTY A CHARGED
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on August 17, 2014, 03:07:42 PM
How can anyone take someone called Zephyr Rain Teachout seriously?
How can anyone take someone called TTS1996 seriously? What are you, a calculator?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: NHLiberal on August 17, 2014, 04:20:39 PM
^^And the rest
How can anyone take someone called TTS1996 seriously? What are you, a calculator?
What the f u u ck are you on about? My name isn't actually TTS1996, any more than yours is actually Panda Express, but hers is apparently Zephyr Rain Teachout, which is NOT A REAL NAME.
This isn't Iceland. People can be named whatever they damn well want.
How can anyone take someone called Zephyr Rain Teachout seriously?
How can anyone take someone called TTS1996 seriously? What are you, a calculator?
This isn't Iceland. People can be named whatever they damn well want.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: NHLiberal on August 18, 2014, 11:36:45 AM
A likable but politically oblivious everyman gets to cast the deciding vote. Hilarious hi-jinx ensue as both presidential candidates arrive in his small town to personally woo him for his vote.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on August 18, 2014, 12:10:39 PM
It's supposed to be three lines, 17 syllables, with five in the first line, seven in the middle, and five at the end. Here, like this:
Me not so horny
Me like women, I think, but
Maybe man will do.
Me not so horny
Me like women, I think, but
Maybe man will do.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mr. Morden on August 18, 2014, 09:57:01 PM
The Iraq War would be over, but there would be significant remaining troops in the area. Withdrawal in Afghanistan would not have been telegraphed to the world, so the Taliban would not as strongly be waiting in the wings. Rebels would have been armed in both Libya and Syria. Assad would probably be on his way out. There would have been tougher and more immediate sanctions on Russia.
Um, what?
The Iraq War would be over, but there would be significant remaining troops in the area. Withdrawal in Afghanistan would not have been telegraphed to the world, so the Taliban would not as strongly be waiting in the wings. Rebels would have been armed in both Libya and Syria. Assad would probably be on his way out. There would have been tougher and more immediate sanctions on Russia.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on August 19, 2014, 08:28:30 AM
The Iraq War would be over, but there would be significant remaining troops in the area. Withdrawal in Afghanistan would not have been telegraphed to the world, so the Taliban would not as strongly be waiting in the wings. Rebels would have been armed in both Libya and Syria. Assad would probably be on his way out. There would have been tougher and more immediate sanctions on Russia.
Um, what?
The Iraq War would be over, but there would be significant remaining troops in the area. Withdrawal in Afghanistan would not have been telegraphed to the world, so the Taliban would not as strongly be waiting in the wings. Rebels would have been armed in both Libya and Syria. Assad would probably be on his way out. There would have been tougher and more immediate sanctions on Russia.
The initial post is pretty comedic itself.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on August 19, 2014, 05:22:25 PM
Bushie, you should do the ice bucket challenge in similar fashion as you diet.
Ease in by taking a warm shower first and then eventually work up to forgetting all about doing it.
Ease in by taking a warm shower first and then eventually work up to forgetting all about doing it.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on August 19, 2014, 06:27:45 PM
"You know, Russia is the largest country by land mass on the planet." - Phil
"JUST LYK SANTORUM WAS GONNA WIN, RITE PHIL?!1!1!" - unoriginal posters
"JUST LYK SANTORUM WAS GONNA WIN, RITE PHIL?!1!1!" - unoriginal posters
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on August 19, 2014, 06:54:52 PM
"You know, Russia is the largest country by land mass on the planet." - Phil
"JUST LYK SANTORUM WAS GONNA WIN, RITE PHIL?!1!1!" - unoriginal posters
"JUST LYK SANTORUM WAS GONNA WIN, RITE PHIL?!1!1!" - unoriginal posters
Yeah it must be terrible when posters make the same joke long after it went stale.
By the way, what ideology am I this week, Phil?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Keystone Phil on August 19, 2014, 07:18:32 PM
"You know, Russia is the largest country by land mass on the planet." - Phil
"JUST LYK SANTORUM WAS GONNA WIN, RITE PHIL?!1!1!" - unoriginal posters
"JUST LYK SANTORUM WAS GONNA WIN, RITE PHIL?!1!1!" - unoriginal posters
Yeah it must be terrible when posters make the same joke long after it went stale.
By the way, what ideology am I this week, Phil?
The never ending jokes about your constant ideology changes are no where near stale, Josh.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on August 19, 2014, 07:32:17 PM
"You know, Russia is the largest country by land mass on the planet." - Phil
"JUST LYK SANTORUM WAS GONNA WIN, RITE PHIL?!1!1!" - unoriginal posters
"JUST LYK SANTORUM WAS GONNA WIN, RITE PHIL?!1!1!" - unoriginal posters
Yeah it must be terrible when posters make the same joke long after it went stale.
By the way, what ideology am I this week, Phil?
The never ending jokes about your constant ideology changes are no where near stale, Josh.
Indeed.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on August 19, 2014, 07:37:56 PM
The never ending jokes about your constant ideology changes are no where near stale, Josh.
You want another 2 years?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: King on August 19, 2014, 08:44:27 PM
Salutations, Phil.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: NHLiberal on August 19, 2014, 09:14:56 PM
How the hell are you guys posting so quickly?
We do not need LA. As long as Senate is 50-49 on Election Night. And there is still a chance with Nunn in GA. Carter may win there as well.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on August 19, 2014, 10:55:18 PM
Not a doctor... high school coaches do this stuff. But I call BS that it's actually at 3. That may be the color of your toilet water post-urination, but that means your actual urine is much darker.
No, it's actually a 3. I just looked at it a few moments ago. Occasionally it may be a 4, but it's normally a 3.
A few months ago???? Don't you go several times a day?
FAIL
Hate to use a pun here, but your argument just got tinkled on...
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Negusa Nagast 🚀 on August 20, 2014, 01:59:02 AM
Bad news for GOP. Miller is the right guy to be going. In fact he should be in the senate right now if not for that backstabbing (though tech legal) witch Murkowski.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on August 20, 2014, 12:22:45 PM
Well Clinton lied. Obama,a... wasis a dDemocratemocrat.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on August 20, 2014, 12:32:11 PM
Very much in the spirit of to whom this thread is dedicated. :P
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on August 20, 2014, 12:40:33 PM
Very much in the spirit of to whom this thread is dedicated. :P
Yeah, that's what I thought as well. :P
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Filuwaúrdjan on August 20, 2014, 12:49:28 PM
Also, I personally wouldn't have included inquiring of an overweight man for the color of his pee on my birthday, but I'm sure you had a blast anyway.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: SWE on August 20, 2014, 02:13:56 PM
MSNBC is good, Communists News Network and FAUX News aren't.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: King on August 20, 2014, 10:16:02 PM
Since it was brought up, I think the classic diabetes post deserves to be resubmitted.
As far as our reaction to Dad's diagnosis. We all were laughing when he got home. You can either get really upset and distraught or you can take it in stride and laugh. We chose the laughing route. Dad joked that he is now "joining the medicine club." Up until now, he has not had to take medicine on a daily basis. He'll be fine. We know where we need to cut down and we'll have further meetings as a family, but it doesn't mean we're going to stop enjoying ourselves in the food department, especially on the weekends. As a family we have a policy that diets are not allowed to begin on weekends. Weekends are about having fun with what you're eating and enjoy yourself. Healthy (or healthier) eating is for Monday-Thursday night. When Dad has Friday off, Thursday night gets lumped in with the weekend enjoyment. We will continue to enjoy ourselves.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Keystone Phil on August 20, 2014, 10:21:34 PM
Since it was brought up, I think the classic diabetes post deserves to be resubmitted.
As far as our reaction to Dad's diagnosis. We all were laughing when he got home. You can either get really upset and distraught or you can take it in stride and laugh. We chose the laughing route. Dad joked that he is now "joining the medicine club." Up until now, he has not had to take medicine on a daily basis. He'll be fine. We know where we need to cut down and we'll have further meetings as a family, but it doesn't mean we're going to stop enjoying ourselves in the food department, especially on the weekends. As a family we have a policy that diets are not allowed to begin on weekends. Weekends are about having fun with what you're eating and enjoy yourself. Healthy (or healthier) eating is for Monday-Thursday night. When Dad has Friday off, Thursday night gets lumped in with the weekend enjoyment. We will continue to enjoy ourselves.
...
Not. A. Real. Person.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mr. Morden on August 20, 2014, 10:44:38 PM
“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.”--Jack Handy
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on August 22, 2014, 03:21:06 PM
And I did gasp audibly when Paul Ryan came out.
Oh he did, finally? I can't say I'm as shocked.
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on August 22, 2014, 06:00:12 PM
Worst of all Snowstalker is not a literal baby, his ability to post on an Internet forum proves that he is not an infant.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: SPC on August 22, 2014, 08:44:04 PM
2. Increasing the population in countries with a high CO2 emission and high resource consumption makes it harder to combat climate change and other environmental problems. Even if immigrants have a very basic life style this is true. A poor African immigrant in Europe causes about 20 times as much CO2 emission than an average African.
3. Immigration from countries with reactionary values makes it harder to create a progressive and tolerant society. Many immigrants from non-Western countries are homophobic, sexist, anti-Jewish and - in the case of Muslims - intolerant about conversion from their own group. This puts pressure on the socially liberal society we have established and increases problems for women and minorities such as gays, Jews or atheist refugees.
3. Immigration from countries with reactionary values makes it harder to create a progressive and tolerant society. Many immigrants from non-Western countries are homophobic, sexist, anti-Jewish and - in the case of Muslims - intolerant about conversion from their own group. This puts pressure on the socially liberal society we have established and increases problems for women and minorities such as gays, Jews or atheist refugees.
I don't see how anyone could argue that either of these points, especially the latter, are thinly veiled racism or xenophobia.
But I thought you *were* arguing that in your previous post.
Context
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Enderman on August 22, 2014, 09:41:27 PM
It depends if it contains Dihydrogen Monoxide or not.
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on August 23, 2014, 01:11:27 PM
A 2 party system would be impossible. For instance, Alabama and Iran may agree on some social issues(though not as much as some forumites think), but the religious difference in and of itself is more than enough to create a chasm. 2 parties wouldn't be close to cutting it.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on August 23, 2014, 07:20:29 PM
The person who used racist imagery.
Yes, I can't believe bedstuy hasn't been mentioned yet.
Au contraire, I am so not a racist. Let's look at the facts:
-Have black friend (more than one, in fact)
-Live in a black neighborhood
-Just played tennis with my cousin who is ~50% black
-Met Al Sharpton
-Dated people from the following races: white, black, asian, latino, other.
-Own a Boogie Down Productions album
In summation, I'm clearly not racist. I think I deserve an apology and an NAACP Image Award.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mr. Morden on August 24, 2014, 04:04:54 AM
Context:
Wow really disrespectful in-out-of context post about SuperBowl champion Russell Wilson. IceSpear should be banned.
Wilson got hundreds of thousands of dollars... just for being... a n*gger...
Wow really disrespectful in-out-of context post about SuperBowl champion Russell Wilson. IceSpear should be banned.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Badger on August 24, 2014, 08:38:38 AM
A most unexpected contributor to this compendium.
From the "Have you ever asked someone the color of their urine?" thread.
From the "Have you ever asked someone the color of their urine?" thread.
As a pick up line; it didn't work.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Badger on August 24, 2014, 10:33:45 AM
Atlas is the only family I have. Each and every one of you is like an obnoxious drunk uncle to me.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Хahar 🤔 on August 24, 2014, 01:21:54 PM
We know where we need to cut down and we'll have further meetings as a family, but it doesn't mean we're going to stop enjoying ourselves in the food department, especially on the weekends. As a family we have a policy that diets are not allowed to begin on weekends. Weekends are about having fun with what you're eating and enjoy yourself. Healthy (or healthier) eating is for Monday-Thursday night. When Dad has Friday off, Thursday night gets lumped in with the weekend enjoyment. We will continue to enjoy ourselves.
Perfect.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on August 24, 2014, 07:37:14 PM
no, since he never said that the roomie was articulate.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on August 25, 2014, 03:08:45 PM
Only a curiously timed indictment could possibly protect the liberals from the revolution created by Begichcare.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on August 25, 2014, 10:44:24 PM
If anyone wants to see a picture of TX Conservative Dem, PM me.
Why? Is he hot?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on August 26, 2014, 11:47:20 AM
Based on the title, I thought this was Dave giving a review of his time in my basement.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on August 26, 2014, 08:24:16 PM
Snowstalker posts misleading clickbait thread
Snowworthy
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Ebowed on August 28, 2014, 07:03:55 AM
Brown Surge sounds like a disgusting ice cream flavor :P
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on August 28, 2014, 09:12:18 AM
Send your child to college? Go for a trip? Have a year-long weekend? Or maybe pay this money to have a Mexican guy living in your house?
If my last suggestion is confusing, you probably know nothing about our President’s new reform. He decided to amnesty almost 12 million illegal immigrants who already live in the USA now. This reform is going to cost the state budget about $6 trillion so if you split this amount among all American taxpayers you get $41670 per person. Who needs a new BMW 4 when you can help a local drug-dealer gain American citizenship? 20,3% of inmates are Hispanic, as well as 50% of gang members. And today every second newborn is a child of immigrants.
Democrats will have 12 million of new voters in 2016, but what will we have?
If my last suggestion is confusing, you probably know nothing about our President’s new reform. He decided to amnesty almost 12 million illegal immigrants who already live in the USA now. This reform is going to cost the state budget about $6 trillion so if you split this amount among all American taxpayers you get $41670 per person. Who needs a new BMW 4 when you can help a local drug-dealer gain American citizenship? 20,3% of inmates are Hispanic, as well as 50% of gang members. And today every second newborn is a child of immigrants.
Democrats will have 12 million of new voters in 2016, but what will we have?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on August 28, 2014, 12:16:36 PM
Jodi Sweetin needs more drug money I guess
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Swedish Rainbow Capitalist Cheese on August 28, 2014, 04:20:40 PM
how to remove a bat from a room ?
Because I wanted to brush my teeth a few minutes ago and somehow a bat was flying around in the baathroom.
I always keep the window open so that the shower dries up quickly and the bat must gave come in at some point.
Its a very stubborn bat and I can't catch it and it wont fly out of the window.
Advice anyone ?
Because I wanted to brush my teeth a few minutes ago and somehow a bat was flying around in the baathroom.
I always keep the window open so that the shower dries up quickly and the bat must gave come in at some point.
Its a very stubborn bat and I can't catch it and it wont fly out of the window.
Advice anyone ?
This made my evening.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on August 28, 2014, 10:37:28 PM
The progressive and freedom-loving government of Holland...
When did this happen?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mordecai on August 29, 2014, 07:36:10 AM
An air horn?
Probably inhumane.
Probably inhumane.
What the bat's doing--intruding on private property--is probably even more inhumane. Lack of respect for private property is yet another reason why I've consistently taken the humans-only stance on U.S. citizenship.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Enderman on August 29, 2014, 03:39:56 PM
From the Offices of Dr. Cynic,
At Large Senator: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
To: The Reality or Nothing Organization
At Large Senator: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
To: The Reality or Nothing Organization
My office has received your letter of August, 27 stating your intentions. My response is: KISS MY ASS!
Yours Sincerely,
Dr. Cynic.
Dr. Cynic.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on August 30, 2014, 01:57:03 PM
I want to know what would happen if you run a small business, and your religion requires you to allow unions and free bargaining. Wouldn't a "right-to-work" law violate freedom of religion?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on August 30, 2014, 02:49:16 PM
Every human on the planet would fit into a sphere with a diameter of several kilometers. That doesn't mean that it can be done ("even with computers!", to quote Christipher Moltisanti)
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on August 30, 2014, 08:00:31 PM
Why are you making fun of Oklahomans? We are very well educated. We have many very good institutions of higher learning. Oklahoma and Oklahoma State are among the best universities in the world. My education at Northwestern Oklahoma State University is just as good as a Harvard education, only a heck of a lot cheaper. Oklahoma does have an obesity problem, but most states do. It doesn't mean we're any dumber than the healthy states. Please, do not make fun of Oklahoman's. We're a great bunch of people. Sure, our politics leave something to be desired, but that's not because we're conservative.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on August 30, 2014, 08:31:29 PM
2nd tier battleground, Hagen as well as Begich has sucked all oxygen out room with the Senate 50 seat maj.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sopranos Republican on August 30, 2014, 10:02:17 PM
To use an Update-ism, my argument got tinkled on...
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on September 01, 2014, 07:49:20 PM
Mr. Pollo asks the burning questions:
I have a habit of sometimes calling my dog "my n*gga". Is this normal?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Flake on September 02, 2014, 10:23:56 AM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on September 02, 2014, 08:04:58 PM
Absolutely not. I'm a Native American and the name does not offend me. Everybody likes to get butt hurt over something and this is a pointless exercise that serves absolutely no purpose, but to satisfy the taste buds of political correctness activists.
What % Native are you?
1/32
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: JerryArkansas on September 02, 2014, 08:35:43 PM
Absolutely not. I'm a Native American and the name does not offend me. Everybody likes to get butt hurt over something and this is a pointless exercise that serves absolutely no purpose, but to satisfy the taste buds of political correctness activists.
What % Native are you?
1/32
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Miles on September 03, 2014, 12:07:19 AM
If Rick Perry runs for president, he should base his campaign on winning Florida. They seem to love criminals named Rick.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on September 03, 2014, 08:53:43 AM
Absolutely not. I'm a Native American and the name does not offend me. Everybody likes to get butt hurt over something and this is a pointless exercise that serves absolutely no purpose, but to satisfy the taste buds of political correctness activists.
What % Native are you?
1/32
Wow, that's almost full-on native. You should get a cool name like Two Cats Fucking or something like that.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Badger on September 03, 2014, 09:42:39 AM
Credit where credit is due.
Your post sounds like it's straight out of 1994 when people would actually buy into this authoritarianism. Sounds like my high school right after the 'Footloose' era.
I don't know what you're talking about. 2014 is nothing like 1994. It's not like Full House will be on TV or Dumb and Dumber in theaters. Or the Republicans might win back the Senate.
Your post sounds like it's straight out of 1994 when people would actually buy into this authoritarianism. Sounds like my high school right after the 'Footloose' era.
I don't know what you're talking about. 2014 is nothing like 1994. It's not like Full House will be on TV or Dumb and Dumber in theaters. Or the Republicans might win back the Senate.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Filuwaúrdjan on September 03, 2014, 01:56:12 PM
Adam Griffin for moderator!
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on September 03, 2014, 02:39:32 PM
Deadly Poisonous Zanzibar Hamster.
omg lol your soooo random xD
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: badgate on September 04, 2014, 12:25:17 AM
So he issued a Duckwa?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on September 04, 2014, 03:17:00 PM
Credit where credit is due:
Future generations will find Bob McDonnell smiling back at them when they look up "fall from grace" in the dictionary.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on September 04, 2014, 03:30:12 PM
Credit where credit is due:
Future generations will find Bob McDonnell smiling back at them when they look up "fall from grace" in the dictionary.
Hardly a comedic post, way more rooted in truth than anything.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: King on September 04, 2014, 03:34:10 PM
Bob McDonnell's hardly more disgraced than Jim Gilmore, George Allen, or Eric Cantor. He's par for the course for the Virginia GOP.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on September 04, 2014, 03:40:22 PM
This thread is as bad as if t_host or nkpatel were the only ones posting in it.........ugh.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on September 05, 2014, 03:07:35 PM
Adam Griffin for moderator!
Seconded.
Thirded
Fourthed.
Fifthed.
c-c-c-combo breaker?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on September 06, 2014, 03:35:50 AM
Cue the hacks and blind Obama fanatics
I, for one, find FreedomHawk's posts to be passive, confused, ineffective, muddled, irresolute, full of naive assumptions, and even feckless, an international symbol for spinelessness.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Linus Van Pelt on September 06, 2014, 10:26:14 AM
(in context):
yes, I also noticed the conspicuous absence of popular options such as "I am independently wealthy" or "I am the King of Spain" or "My junta and I take what we need by force. We are not leaches. We are men."
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on September 06, 2014, 11:40:07 AM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Kushahontas on September 06, 2014, 12:14:37 PM
I'll get back on the challenge tomorrow. I did nothing wrong at dinner. I don't feel bad at all. Plus, King, it's Friday. It's no fun to eat healthy on weekends. I wanted to enjoy my Friday supper with what I wanted to eat and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
If you wanna live past 40 you should drop the belief that eating should be "fun". The idea that you can eat differently on weekends makes a mockery of any attempt to improve your health and life chances, especially if you include Friday in the weekend. A three day weekend is almost half of the week. You cant halfass healthy living. One "unhealthy" day every second week might work (talk to a dietrician about it), but that should be the maximum.
Let me be completely truthful here for a bit:
Tonight, I was trying to go for a complete meal with a meat and veggie(s). I ordered the steak as my meat, but there weren't any vegetables that I liked on the side list, so I had to go with mashed potatoes and mac and cheese. It turns out that was FRIED mac and cheese. I didn't touch it and only had a few bites of the potatoes and maybe 2 or 3 bites of the steak. That should have been enough on its own, and I didn't need the ice cream, but I ordered without thinking. Funny, though, I was cognizant of the challenge when I decided to go with steak instead of burger and fries. So, yeah, i goofed and I may pay for that on the scale in the morning. Not to mention, I've got a headache from the chocolate in the dessert. I should have gone to Cracker Barrel. At least there I could have gotten a real, home cooked meal complete with a poultry meat and at least a vegetable or two. There are plenty of other good options besides breakfast at Cracker Barrel. I went off the advice of some Facebook friends and I paid the price for it. So, now tomorrow I have to behave myself and eat at the house and have no fries or ice cream.
As far as the no-ice cream challenge - I am going to issue a new challenge to myself. I am going to restart the month and run it from September 6 through October 5.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on September 06, 2014, 02:12:03 PM
The best part of this post is the sincerity:
What has he done De Blasio exactly? The only thing I know about him is that he doesn't eat pizzas the same way than the other New Yorkers???
Simfan, for some ridiculous reason, thinks that de Blasio hasn't been an incredibly successful mayor who people across the city love and admire. Best not to listen to his opinions on this.
What has he done De Blasio exactly? The only thing I know about him is that he doesn't eat pizzas the same way than the other New Yorkers???
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on September 06, 2014, 05:07:39 PM
cc: sawx
The drinking age in this country may be 21, but I've honestly never heard of anyone waiting until then to drink.
Now you have. (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?action=profile;u=10478)
I'm 20, what do I know?
The drinking age in this country may be 21, but I've honestly never heard of anyone waiting until then to drink.
Now you have. (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?action=profile;u=10478)
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on September 06, 2014, 10:42:16 PM
I hadn't heard of Braum's before, and now that I have, I have decided for obvious reasons that I hate the place.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on September 07, 2014, 02:55:24 AM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on September 07, 2014, 08:48:46 AM
Context:
Lincoln - Do you need to go the theatre tonight?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on September 07, 2014, 10:42:43 AM
Context:
Labour and LibDem would be hurt, and the SNP damaged badly....
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on September 07, 2014, 11:58:12 AM
There was also a strawberry on the plate.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on September 07, 2014, 04:39:33 PM
Latvia and Estonia/Latvia and Estonia
omg people why are you voting for these Nazi-loving apartheid states?? :(
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: NHLiberal on September 07, 2014, 06:03:46 PM
hilery also sed i did benghazi mwahahahaha will this hurt her discuss with maps
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Kushahontas on September 07, 2014, 06:26:02 PM
I don't know why I'm still being hounded over Friday night. That was 2 days ago. Let it go, people. I did nothing to deserve being yelled at about it all weekend long. Not a single thing. You guys just don't let things go very quickly. You continue to harp on it long after it happened. With that being said, I still have the same headache I got at dinner Friday night, so I may stay home from church tonight so I can get ready for work tomorrow. I had to go this morning, but I will probably stay home tonight.
The scale came back up one pound from yesterday morning, so it looks like that 1.4 pound drop from Friday to Saturday has settled in at a 0.4 pound drop. That's still pretty good.
J-Mann, I refuse to switch solely to water. Sorry, but I am not going to do that and it's not going to kill me. Gauss, I do drink predominately diet, although I do enjoy an occasional regular pop from time to time. I will mix in water every now and then, but I refuse to switch exclusively to water. I don't drink a lot of coffee, although I do enjoy it on occasion.
The scale came back up one pound from yesterday morning, so it looks like that 1.4 pound drop from Friday to Saturday has settled in at a 0.4 pound drop. That's still pretty good.
J-Mann, I refuse to switch solely to water. Sorry, but I am not going to do that and it's not going to kill me. Gauss, I do drink predominately diet, although I do enjoy an occasional regular pop from time to time. I will mix in water every now and then, but I refuse to switch exclusively to water. I don't drink a lot of coffee, although I do enjoy it on occasion.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on September 07, 2014, 08:28:57 PM
I'm fairly sure Gen. Stuart would've agreed with the spray painted phrase.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: bore on September 08, 2014, 09:29:30 AM
It reminds me of the 1995 Quebec referendum.
Wow, you're certainly the first to have made that comparison.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on September 08, 2014, 10:57:52 AM
I don't want to be eaten by anything purple
Ambiguous adjectives/adverbs. I interpreted it to mean that he ate purple people. Thus, you're OK as long as you're not purple.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on September 08, 2014, 01:51:29 PM
I'd say being six weeks ahead of the World Health Organization based solely on reading news reports is pretty damned impressive. Another thing I deserve accolades on with this.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck on September 08, 2014, 02:12:21 PM
I just can't imagine people not liking basic things like fruits and vegetables. He literally only likes burgers, red meat, carbs and sugar.
the four oklahoma food groups
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on September 08, 2014, 02:54:04 PM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on September 09, 2014, 03:51:08 PM
No, I don't like oreos.
What the f[inks] is wrong with you?
You don't need to interpret everything as a personal insult, y'know? ;)
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on September 09, 2014, 04:10:28 PM
No, I don't like oreos.
What the f[inks] is wrong with you?
You don't need to interpret everything as a personal insult, y'know? ;)
I knew it was a matter of time. :P
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on September 09, 2014, 06:23:23 PM
i like girls but there is NOTHING better then a sexi hott dude
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on September 09, 2014, 06:52:36 PM
I was unable to tell any difference between your thread "any hott homo dudes post here" and the existing "Post a Picture of Yourself 2014" thread so I merged them together
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on September 10, 2014, 02:56:28 PM
From a thread where people give advice to former presidents on what they should have done during their presidency:
Bill Clinton: Control your dick!
George W Bush: Control your Dick!
George W Bush: Control your Dick!
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on September 10, 2014, 07:28:48 PM
Howie Hawkins is probably going to get at least five times the vote that he got in 2010.
In the July Marist poll, he was at 7%, so hopefully he only goes up from there.
Yeah, maybe he can crack 10% like Rich Whitney in Illinois back in '06.
my favorite moment was when a group of predominantly black Chicago precincts had ballots with the misprinted name "Rich Whitey"
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: NHLiberal on September 10, 2014, 09:21:01 PM
Um this Garcia gal apparently has an equally right-wing sister who is also a NH politician and plays the flute with her (Marilinda plays the harp) in what I can only imagine is some sort of right-wing Christian rock band.
Should the two Garcia sisters marry the Democratic Castro twins and heal this country's divisions with their beautiful, light-skinned Hispanic children? Discuss.
Should the two Garcia sisters marry the Democratic Castro twins and heal this country's divisions with their beautiful, light-skinned Hispanic children? Discuss.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Kaine for Senate '18 on September 10, 2014, 10:29:15 PM
I was also able to communicate with two old forum favorites recently, nkpatel1279 and kljackson. Their messages to the forum were....
nkpatel1279:
kljackson:
I'm pleased to see that they're still thinking of us.
nkpatel1279:
Quote
Obama -a two term State Senator from Chicago won the DEM primary for the 2004 IL US Senate Race with over 50% of the popular against a crowded field included the safe but boring establishment candidate- Dan Hynes, the controversial wealthy billiniore Blaire Hull and Local Chicago politicians- Gerry Chico and Maria Pappas. In the general election. the GOP nominee Alan Keyes was the IL version of Christine O'Donnell. If Obama faced Jack Ryan,Mark Kirk or Peter Fitzgerald- the 2004 IL US Senate Race would have been highly competitive but Obama would have narrowly won due to Kerry coattials.
Giannoulias-a one term Statewide elected official narrowly won the DEM primary for the 2010 IL US Senate Race against David Hoffman- who basically was an outsider/reformer candidate by a 39-34 with Cheryl Jackson- the black candidate from Chicago getting 25%. Giannoulias won because he was the establishment candidate and he was progressive. Had Hoffman did an effective job advertising his progressive credentials- hed actually win the DEM primary. Hoffman needed to out liberal teabag Giannoulias- clerking for David Boren did not help. I am surprised that Gery Chico did not run because unlike Madigan,Kennedy, he was available to run for the US Senate and he was less controversial and more progressive enough to stop Alexi from getting the Democratic nomination. Chico was a non factor in the 2004 IL DEM US Senate Primary because he had to compete against Obama-who was the rock star, Hull who had the money, Hynes and Pappas who had name recognition and electoral experience.
Giannoulias-a one term Statewide elected official narrowly won the DEM primary for the 2010 IL US Senate Race against David Hoffman- who basically was an outsider/reformer candidate by a 39-34 with Cheryl Jackson- the black candidate from Chicago getting 25%. Giannoulias won because he was the establishment candidate and he was progressive. Had Hoffman did an effective job advertising his progressive credentials- hed actually win the DEM primary. Hoffman needed to out liberal teabag Giannoulias- clerking for David Boren did not help. I am surprised that Gery Chico did not run because unlike Madigan,Kennedy, he was available to run for the US Senate and he was less controversial and more progressive enough to stop Alexi from getting the Democratic nomination. Chico was a non factor in the 2004 IL DEM US Senate Primary because he had to compete against Obama-who was the rock star, Hull who had the money, Hynes and Pappas who had name recognition and electoral experience.
kljackson:
Quote
I'm pleased to see that they're still thinking of us.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on September 11, 2014, 09:55:25 PM
I identify with the gender assigned to me at birth and I am sexually attracted to the other sex. Yes, feminists hate me.
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on September 11, 2014, 11:09:26 PM
And 41. (http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Salvador_Allende%27s_Last_Speech)
Being funny in the first place generally helps people know when you're joking.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on September 12, 2014, 02:00:50 AM
And 41. (http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Salvador_Allende%27s_Last_Speech)
Being funny in the first place generally helps people know when you're joking.
We got the Sulphur Mine for burns like that.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: bore on September 12, 2014, 01:41:16 PM
The Western Isles will probably be one of the strongest Yes areas in the country.
Though apparently the Wee Frees are against.
They're pretty much against everything :P
I gather that they do now allow the use of musical instruments in church. Admittedly the vote was narrow and some ministers resigned in protest.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Bacon King on September 13, 2014, 12:20:34 AM
better without context
()
Every time I see this I can't help but think about the Crucifixion.
Every time I see this I can't help but think about the Crucifixion.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on September 13, 2014, 03:42:05 PM
Just a personal note me and Teachout. She and I were actually attending Yale around the same time with a three year overlap (she was a year ahead of me.) I do remember her as the Editor‐in‐Chief of The Yale Daily News Magazine. It would not surprise me if she and I attended some political science class at the same time. Anyway none of this would get me to vote for her as if given a chance I would for sure vote Cuomo.
WTF? Why didn't you ask her out?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on September 13, 2014, 03:50:34 PM
How did I know that it would be IceSpear to bring this up? Maybe she just likes steak.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on September 13, 2014, 05:39:47 PM
Seriously, dude, you eating chocolate because you need a "sweet treat" is like Edward Scissorhands masturbating.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on September 14, 2014, 02:50:28 PM
Context.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on September 14, 2014, 09:29:42 PM
Damn you Adam Mendez-Flynn-Glazowski-Chanut-Harper-Zhang-Rothman-Wald! I was going to post that here myself. Damn you to the uttermost reaches of the Islets of Langerhans!
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: ElectionsGuy on September 14, 2014, 11:30:17 PM
heterohumid cistropical
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Maxwell on September 15, 2014, 07:33:39 AM
Memphis, I'm gonna be honest, I just grew a fedora reading everything you said. My neck is now a forest.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Flake on September 15, 2014, 10:06:12 AM
don't belittle memphis he has just been enlightened by THE CHART
()
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on September 15, 2014, 10:16:53 AM
(all Leips here are free range)
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on September 15, 2014, 10:38:39 AM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on September 17, 2014, 03:10:50 PM
The Good Professor will give Jeff Sessions a good thrashing, then promptly deport him to FOX News.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on September 18, 2014, 12:44:31 AM
Didn't Bobby Jindal perform an exorcism?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on September 18, 2014, 07:25:24 AM
don't belittle memphis he has just been enlightened by THE CHART
()
()
He forgot about the Baroque Age.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on September 18, 2014, 03:17:29 PM
Voted. Had to wait in a line. Never had to do that in the past twelve years.
And how did you vote- I'm guessing yes?
As I recall afleitch was planning to vote No after being swayed by BRTD's arguments.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: solarstorm on September 18, 2014, 05:01:58 PM
This is what the judges in Kansas are doing right now - probably best not to disturb them, might make them angry enough to rule in Kobach's favor...
()
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: RR1997 on September 18, 2014, 07:26:51 PM
Bill Clinton built us a bridge to the 21st century. Now it is time for us to get back on that bridge and return to the other side. (http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCAQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DTZt-pOc3moc&ei=qxQZVMLlIIuwogSorIL4Dg&usg=AFQjCNEUk5iuyORCNgL81Z39T3z71tFPHA&sig2=Pn9FAAYbH4TXXqktFbqI3w&bvm=bv.75558745,d.cGU)
Hillary is not her husband
Correct. She is his wife.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on September 19, 2014, 10:07:31 AM
Scotland: UK HOLD
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on September 19, 2014, 01:12:48 PM
I assume all the jokes about a PM called Salmond whose second-in-command is called Sturgeon have already been made long before I became aware of this fact, but regarldess...
ROFLMAO!!!
ROFLMAO!!!
What is life like in the Sea N Pee? Is it a dogfish eat dogfish world? Is everyone united for a common porpoise? Or do they all split off in their own special groupers? Well, one tragic story indicates it's not so perfect down there.
"There was once a brilliant Sturgeon on the staff of the Scottish community health fishility. She was in fact one of it's flounders. Wiser than Salmond, a fin fellow who would never shrimp from his responsibilities, she was successful and happy and always whistled a happy tuna.
One day one of her patients, a mere whipper snapper, started trouting around telling everyone the Sturgeon's treatments had made him more eel than he had been and the conked her with a malpractice suit.
Well, the Sturgeon was in a real pickeral. The board chased her off the staff and demanded her oyster. But fortunately the case smelt to high heaven so the judge denied the plaintiff's clam.
The board tried to hire the Sturgeon back but by then she had hit the bottlenose pretty hard. But what's really shad about the story is that the Sturgeon ended up on squid-row..."
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on September 19, 2014, 01:15:09 PM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck on September 19, 2014, 04:11:58 PM
Lief has been on quite a roll lately.
RIP DIET.
Now that we're done with yet another diet storyline, it's time that Bushie find himself a new romantic interest. Alternatively, I would also accept a Halloween storyline (though I'm not sure if that holiday is legal in Oklahoma?).
Now that we're done with yet another diet storyline, it's time that Bushie find himself a new romantic interest. Alternatively, I would also accept a Halloween storyline (though I'm not sure if that holiday is legal in Oklahoma?).
Guillotine is historically the correct way to kill the rich and other assorted class enemies, you see.
Using it on a working class man or woman is in very poor taste for that reason.
Using it on a working class man or woman is in very poor taste for that reason.
Wonderful news! Toomey better get his supple little bum ready, because I'm predicting a thorough spanking here.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: FEMA Camp Administrator on September 19, 2014, 11:11:14 PM
Context:
I'm quite unsure why someone would compare me to the departed Emperor Palpatine. Nevertheless, it is amusing.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on September 20, 2014, 12:46:39 PM
It sounds more serious than JJ. Hopefully everything ends up alright.
it does sound ominous.
but im guessing it is something like his grandmother's second cousin's husband's godson came down with appendicitis.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on September 20, 2014, 02:46:15 PM
Still sending good thoughts to Bushie's family, but sorry....
Given the interbreeding in Oklahoma (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161952.msg3575766#msg3575766), the grandmother's second cousin's husband's godson could be Bushie himself!
but im guessing it is something like his grandmother's second cousin's husband's godson came down with appendicitis.
Given the interbreeding in Oklahoma (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161952.msg3575766#msg3575766), the grandmother's second cousin's husband's godson could be Bushie himself!
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: kcguy on September 20, 2014, 06:50:50 PM
Regarding the next Scottish Independence referendum:
No, the question will return again for one day every hundred years. Then it will vanish into the highland mist.
"Once in a generation" should mean around 20 years, no?
No, the question will return again for one day every hundred years. Then it will vanish into the highland mist.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on September 20, 2014, 08:45:00 PM
Context:
He was the best governor of Illinois that Connecticut ever had.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on September 21, 2014, 01:06:27 PM
Do the Democratic hacks on this forum even understand dialectical materialism?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Filuwaúrdjan on September 21, 2014, 01:39:50 PM
o.k that's made my day
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on September 21, 2014, 03:22:10 PM
'Lissy hear, Mr. Ice Spear.
I am a Marxist.
And I you fear.
Because I am going to kick Hillary
in her bloated neoliberal rear.
Dialectical Materialism.
I am a Marxist.
And I you fear.
Because I am going to kick Hillary
in her bloated neoliberal rear.
Dialectical Materialism.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on September 22, 2014, 05:01:30 PM
Does OC stand for overwhelmingly comedic?
Thanks for that insight.
I guess OC was right in his predictions after all.
This race will be heavily contested snd Dems dont want Cotton in senate.
Thanks for that insight.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on September 22, 2014, 06:45:29 PM
You bet I will, King!
Really dude? I've been pleading with you to try mango to get a healthy snack into your food repertoire and you ignore me but the first recommendation of Fuddbuckers and you're all over it!?
C'mon man...
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on September 22, 2014, 07:23:07 PM
Zero HP votes. He must be a great guy.
What if he became one of the few success stories?
Massive FF of course. I pray he survives the "Pray the Gay Away © " therapy he is about to receive under armed transportation to the facility.
What if he became one of the few success stories?
There are so few of those, but at least they always wind up in the Senate on the GOP morals committee.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on September 22, 2014, 09:08:37 PM
Perfect time for a Brownback resurgence.
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on September 23, 2014, 02:03:19 AM
Why shouldn't we consider Olive Garden an Italian restaurant? It's Americanized favorites, for sure, but it's not like you won't see Spaghetti and Meatballs at every mom and pop local Italian joint either. In fact, local places with more trained chefs tend to bastardize the food more adding twists (green chile chicken lasagna is a weird one you see a lot out here).
It's got pasta, it's got garlic, it's got tomatoes, it's got basil. It's Eye-tally-an
It's got pasta, it's got garlic, it's got tomatoes, it's got basil. It's Eye-tally-an
What is it if it's not Italian?
I mean, I consider Taco Bell to be Mexican food even though 95% of the menu is not served at any other Mexican restaurant.
Taco Bell's nationality isn't Mexican, it's Stoner.
As someone who spent 3 times a week last semester going to Taco Bell at 2 AM in my pajamas, that's pretty accurate.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on September 23, 2014, 10:25:28 AM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on September 23, 2014, 11:41:24 AM
yes, i allways use spel cheque.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on September 23, 2014, 02:19:42 PM
We Updaters are a proud and honorable people. If we cannot have our own subforum, we will not invade an innocent one.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on September 23, 2014, 02:31:57 PM
2010 house elections, since the majority of the bastards elected that year have similar views to Bushie's Oklahoma kin.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on September 24, 2014, 12:22:04 PM
Context:
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on September 24, 2014, 08:52:00 PM
In a perfect world, she and Tennant would both lose; and the great Phil Hudok would be the next United States Senator from West Virginia.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on September 25, 2014, 12:41:25 AM
WARNING: IF YOU HAVE A HEART CONDITION DO NOT READ THIS. YOU WILL DROP THE FLOOR, FLOPPING LIKE A FISH, WHILE CLENCHING YOUR HEART SEEING AS YOU ARE HAVING A HEART ATTACK. ALSO: IF YOU HAVE A SENSITIVE ANUS DO NOT READ THIS; THE BRICK YOU SHAT WILL BE PAINFUL.
A FEW YEARS AGO A MAN WAS WALKING DOWN A ROAD BECAUSE HIS CAR BROKE DOWN AND HE SAW A CAR COMING UP BEHIND HIM SO HE STUCK OUT HIS THUMB TO HITCH HIKE AND THE CAR STOPPED AHEAD OF HIM. HE RAN UP TO THE PASSENGER SIDE AND OPENED THE DOOR. WHEN HE OPENED THE DOOR A SKELETON POPPED OUT
A FEW YEARS AGO A MAN WAS WALKING DOWN A ROAD BECAUSE HIS CAR BROKE DOWN AND HE SAW A CAR COMING UP BEHIND HIM SO HE STUCK OUT HIS THUMB TO HITCH HIKE AND THE CAR STOPPED AHEAD OF HIM. HE RAN UP TO THE PASSENGER SIDE AND OPENED THE DOOR. WHEN HE OPENED THE DOOR A SKELETON POPPED OUT
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on September 25, 2014, 11:31:51 AM
Over on the Individual Politics board just now (no screenshot as I'm lazy) the topic "Which major right wing party do you prefer?" was followed by "The US Democratic Party or the Communist Party of Greece"
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on September 25, 2014, 12:15:33 PM
Context:
Haile Gebreselassie says he wants to run.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on September 26, 2014, 10:22:17 AM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Simfan34 on September 26, 2014, 02:55:35 PM
Context:
Haile Gebreselassie says he wants to run.
:P
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on September 27, 2014, 12:45:25 AM
The 2012 DNC was held in Charlotte. This is a clear signal from the Clintons that Hillary's running.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck on September 27, 2014, 11:31:41 AM
A great one from Uncle Angus.
Actually, I though he accused us of seeing him as "less than normal society." I see him mainly as an attention whore, which around here is normal society.
Of course, he does take whoring to the next level. With most folks it's just "By the way, I'm gay, please take a moment to respond to my gay poll" or "hey guys, I'm taking time off the forum because I'm suicidally depressed, please discuss with maps" or "hey guys, I got a lap dance from a stripper who goes to my hipster church; has this every happened to any of you?" rather than a detailed description of every meal and every interpersonal interaction each and every day.
Of course, he does take whoring to the next level. With most folks it's just "By the way, I'm gay, please take a moment to respond to my gay poll" or "hey guys, I'm taking time off the forum because I'm suicidally depressed, please discuss with maps" or "hey guys, I got a lap dance from a stripper who goes to my hipster church; has this every happened to any of you?" rather than a detailed description of every meal and every interpersonal interaction each and every day.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on September 27, 2014, 04:39:00 PM
CNN BREAKING NEWS: UNCONFIRMED REPORTS THAT SAWX GOT LAID; HEAVY CELEBRATIONS REPORTED IN FORUM COMMUNITY BOARD; PRESIDENT OBAMA TO MAKE STATEMENT AT 5:45 PM EST.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on September 27, 2014, 08:40:19 PM
Shoudn't have attacked the good people of Arkansas with Pryorcare. Whoops.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Deus Naturae on September 28, 2014, 04:34:00 PM
...and she has a boyfriend. F**k.
Bill Clinton had a wife.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on September 28, 2014, 06:34:53 PM
I know he is trolling, but this is actually funny:
Most people who say they are for "Women's Rights" are actually feminist-supremacists who don't deserve any attention or respect from a civilized and mature forum like Atlas.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on September 28, 2014, 06:54:48 PM
I know he is trolling, but this is actually funny:
Most people who say they are for "Women's Rights" are actually feminist-supremacists who don't deserve any attention or respect from a civilized and mature forum like Atlas.
The best part.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on September 28, 2014, 07:17:45 PM
I know he is trolling
Is he though? I wouldn't be surprised if he's completely serious.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Flake on September 28, 2014, 07:20:09 PM
I know he is trolling
Is he though? I wouldn't be surprised if he's completely serious.
Yeah that "straight guy that looks at ladies makes feminists hate me" post begs to differ.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: badgate on September 28, 2014, 10:34:10 PM
Quote from: Joe Republic
This thread has been locked for the following reasons:
• Idiocy
From this thread: https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=199478.0
If the thread weren't locked I could have just copy/pasted the text I got from clicking "quote"
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on September 30, 2014, 10:31:20 AM
Again, I come out of this the winner and not the loser.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Bacon King on September 30, 2014, 03:04:23 PM
The days of female sexuality being controlled by men are over, and thank Zeus for that.
Really?
Of all the gods in the pantheon you might thank for relinquishing male control of female sexuality, you pick one famous not only for seduction and rape, but also one famous for swallowing the only goddess child destined by the Titans to be more powerful than he.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on September 30, 2014, 03:22:34 PM
The days of female sexuality being controlled by men are over, and thank Zeus for that.
Really?
Of all the gods in the pantheon you might thank for relinquishing male control of female sexuality, you pick one famous not only for seduction and rape, but also one famous for swallowing the only goddess child destined by the Titans to be more powerful than he.
Good stuff, but clearly Sulphur Mine material, not IoC.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Kushahontas on September 30, 2014, 03:22:52 PM
I think Bushie should deliver pizzas. I've done it. It's actually pretty fun, and it's the easiest job ever. It used to require at least a basic sense of direction, but with a phone GPS, it would require no talent whatsoever. Here's your pizza. Give me your money. Have a nice day. Bushie could do that. And with tips, it pays about $12/hour, which is more than he was making as a CADD drafter.
What's going to happen when the people he delivers the pizza to open up the box?
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on September 30, 2014, 05:20:18 PM
HOW BOUT DEM COWBOYS
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sol on September 30, 2014, 06:01:17 PM
Thanks!
Well, muon speaking about Illinois,
The district you mention, HD49, that's not strange it seems to be relatively moderate for the PVI?
I mean, I just made some search about the current representative (Mike Fortner), and he won fairly easily in 2006 (60-40), and he wasn't even challenged in 2012. I just saw his record and he seems to be pro life, pro gun and anti civil union. That's quite conservative for a "moderate" district, so that's strange democrats didn't even compete in this district.
I guess this is because of Obama overperforming a lot in Illinois in 2008? This district should be safely republican I guess?
Well, muon speaking about Illinois,
The district you mention, HD49, that's not strange it seems to be relatively moderate for the PVI?
I mean, I just made some search about the current representative (Mike Fortner), and he won fairly easily in 2006 (60-40), and he wasn't even challenged in 2012. I just saw his record and he seems to be pro life, pro gun and anti civil union. That's quite conservative for a "moderate" district, so that's strange democrats didn't even compete in this district.
I guess this is because of Obama overperforming a lot in Illinois in 2008? This district should be safely republican I guess?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on September 30, 2014, 10:33:09 PM
The real tragedy here is that Bushie wasn't born in similar circumstances in Saudi Arabia, because he could have easily landed a nice gig in the Saudi government with awesome conditions and insanely good job security - where you're paid to do nothing all day, surf the internet, play games online, go to prayer during working hours, take a nap at noon, leave the office at 2-3pm to head home and ingest piles of sh**t (given that Saudis mostly eat the same sh**t as Bushie does, and KSA has the same chains as in Oklahoma...) and do whatever mundane daily activities for the rest of the day. Besides, KSA has free healthcare, no taxes, cheap gas and apparently even subsidized (if not free) cars and housing for public servants. There's certainly little incentive to actually work if your job is a push-paper redundancy in the government there, so there'd obviously be no risk of getting canned within a month.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck on September 30, 2014, 11:09:30 PM
WillipsBrighton, say something a rapist wouldn't say. Not to prove anything. Just to help my peace of mind about sharing a forum with you. Please. Anything.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on September 30, 2014, 11:16:58 PM
I strongly doubt the world will end in the next ten years. But if it did, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that the turning point was the day a bunch of dinguses on an Internet message board pushed a man who can cannot successfully run his own life into a position running one of the largest companies in America
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on October 01, 2014, 12:22:51 AM
Context:
Yes, yes, don't ban him. Just cut off one of his hands.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 01, 2014, 10:03:07 AM
But he's dead now, so everything worked out in the end.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: King on October 01, 2014, 07:31:25 PM
One good thing about being sick is that it may help me shed a couple of pounds. This evening, I only had one plate of the casserole, corn, and baked beans and only had a small piece of cake and one scoop of ice cream for dessert. I just have very little appetite.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on October 01, 2014, 08:33:27 PM
One good thing about being sick is that it may help me shed a couple of pounds. This evening, I only had one plate of the casserole, corn, and baked beans and only had a small piece of cake and one scoop of ice cream for dessert. I just have very little appetite.
If this hadn't been going on so long, I'd be certain that Bushie was just an elaborate troll.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on October 01, 2014, 09:31:49 PM
The reason that McDonald's in America hires immigrants and single moms on welfare isn't because those workers are great, it's because those are the only people desperate enough to work for less than 8 dollars an hour. If you raise the minimum wage to 10 or 15 dollars an hour, management will likely decide to get their money's worth and start hiring people who can speak English and show up to work on time, ie childfree college educated liberal arts majors.
You guys are just apparently turning down massive amounts of sex.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: King on October 02, 2014, 09:48:06 AM
[Christie] seems to be moving in the right direction on this issue. Very slowly.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on October 02, 2014, 09:51:43 AM
[Christie] seems to be moving in the right direction on this issue. Very slowly.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: MATTROSE94 on October 02, 2014, 10:16:38 AM
I was hoping the baby would be a boy. Anyway, it's unfortunate that Charlotte will be raised to be a snobby rich white feminist like her grandmother.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on October 03, 2014, 04:24:15 PM
That's not cool, guys. Stop ripping on Lindsey Graham because of his sexuality. Rip on his because he's an useless asshole.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on October 03, 2014, 04:53:26 PM
That's not cool, guys. Stop ripping on Lindsey Graham because of his sexuality. Rip on his because he's an useless asshole.
Came here to post it, lol.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on October 04, 2014, 02:21:40 PM
Context:
Is KCDem like ISIL? Both are deluded, belligerent and have been greeted by near-universal condemnation.
Discuss.
Discuss.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on October 05, 2014, 07:00:40 AM
Selfie #1:
()
Selfie #2:
()
()
Selfie #2:
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck on October 05, 2014, 11:50:06 AM
We'd need to get more diagnoses for his other conditions he probably has.
Really, it's a miracle his parents even got him diagnosed for Tourette's and not just assumed he was possessed by the devil. But it is strange that despite this diagnosis, he still feels a stigma about seeing if he has OTHER psychiatric disabilities.
Really, it's a miracle his parents even got him diagnosed for Tourette's and not just assumed he was possessed by the devil. But it is strange that despite this diagnosis, he still feels a stigma about seeing if he has OTHER psychiatric disabilities.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on October 05, 2014, 01:41:08 PM
The Insane Asylum, otherwise known as the Northeast Assembly, has turned the Northeast into a region where incest is now legal. I can only conclude from this that the members of the Northeast Assembly want a cover whereby they can now have sexual relations with their immediate family members, and say, it's OK, we, the members of the Northeast Assembly, have made it legal.
The Insane Asylum has turned a whole generation of sixteen year olds into a generation of druggies and pot heads.
The Insane Asylum has legalized marriage between, let us say, one dirty old man and let us say ten or twelve young ladies, for the sole purpose of raping young women, under the guise that the Northeast Assembly has legalized it, so it's OK. What's next for the Northeast, a legal marriage between a man and a dog?
The Insane Asylum has made it now legal for some no good husband to blatantly cheat on his wife, while she sits home with the kids, with no financial support to pay the rent or buy food for her and the kids, from the reprobate husband who says, it's OK, it's legal.
The Insane Asylum has now turned a whole generation of sixteen year olds into alcoholics.
The Insane Asylum has caused the numerous deaths and thousands of deaths in the future by allowing drivers in the Northeast to drive while distracted.
The Insane Asylum has addicted a whole generation of sixteen year olds to nicotine and tobacco, causing lung cancer and an early death to thousands of people in the Northeast.
The Insane Asylum has made it legal for a couple of pervs to have sexual relations in a car while parked in a driveway or a shopping center parking lot where it will be witnessed by hundreds of people, including young children.
The Insane Asylum will be responsible for the deaths of thousands of people in the Northeast by allowing open alcoholic beverages in automobiles. If they are really naive enough to actually believe that the driver will not be drinking when there are open alcoholic beverages in the automobile then they are more clueless than I thought they were.
The Insane Asylum has make it legal for fourteen year olds to possess pornography, thus instilling in young minds ideas and behavior for committing violence against, mainly, women.
The Insane Asylum has legalized e-cigarettes thus causing an unknown number of health problems for people who may be allergic to this substance.
The Northeast is not strong. It is wallowing in a cesspool of its' own making.
The Insane Asylum has turned a whole generation of sixteen year olds into a generation of druggies and pot heads.
The Insane Asylum has legalized marriage between, let us say, one dirty old man and let us say ten or twelve young ladies, for the sole purpose of raping young women, under the guise that the Northeast Assembly has legalized it, so it's OK. What's next for the Northeast, a legal marriage between a man and a dog?
The Insane Asylum has made it now legal for some no good husband to blatantly cheat on his wife, while she sits home with the kids, with no financial support to pay the rent or buy food for her and the kids, from the reprobate husband who says, it's OK, it's legal.
The Insane Asylum has now turned a whole generation of sixteen year olds into alcoholics.
The Insane Asylum has caused the numerous deaths and thousands of deaths in the future by allowing drivers in the Northeast to drive while distracted.
The Insane Asylum has addicted a whole generation of sixteen year olds to nicotine and tobacco, causing lung cancer and an early death to thousands of people in the Northeast.
The Insane Asylum has made it legal for a couple of pervs to have sexual relations in a car while parked in a driveway or a shopping center parking lot where it will be witnessed by hundreds of people, including young children.
The Insane Asylum will be responsible for the deaths of thousands of people in the Northeast by allowing open alcoholic beverages in automobiles. If they are really naive enough to actually believe that the driver will not be drinking when there are open alcoholic beverages in the automobile then they are more clueless than I thought they were.
The Insane Asylum has make it legal for fourteen year olds to possess pornography, thus instilling in young minds ideas and behavior for committing violence against, mainly, women.
The Insane Asylum has legalized e-cigarettes thus causing an unknown number of health problems for people who may be allergic to this substance.
The Northeast is not strong. It is wallowing in a cesspool of its' own making.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on October 05, 2014, 02:37:13 PM
This entire discussion.
It's certainly possible. I need to get it cleared up fast. I have a vacation in 5 days!
Vacation from what?
taking 2 naps a day and watching 12 straight hours of tv can be exhausting.
I could never do that. I just don't think I have what it takes to do that kind of hard stress work.
It's not as bad as it sounds, since he takes breaks to post on Atlas.
Seems like it pays pretty comfortably too, since he can afford a car, rented apartment, phone, computer, tablet computer, frequent meals out, and occasional motel stays when on necessary business trips.
If he would just get on the dole all these things would be in reach, and by that I mean NOT reaching for mom's purse.
Sounds like you may have the bronchitis.
It's certainly possible. I need to get it cleared up fast. I have a vacation in 5 days!
Vacation from what?
taking 2 naps a day and watching 12 straight hours of tv can be exhausting.
I could never do that. I just don't think I have what it takes to do that kind of hard stress work.
It's not as bad as it sounds, since he takes breaks to post on Atlas.
Seems like it pays pretty comfortably too, since he can afford a car, rented apartment, phone, computer, tablet computer, frequent meals out, and occasional motel stays when on necessary business trips.
If he would just get on the dole all these things would be in reach, and by that I mean NOT reaching for mom's purse.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on October 05, 2014, 03:22:50 PM
Why does Adam always have his mouth open like that
"It's called a smile, oakvale."
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on October 05, 2014, 08:03:30 PM
"Rand Paul on drugs" doesn't make me think of an interview.
()
This is Rand Paul
()
This is Rand Paul on drugs.
Any Questions?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on October 05, 2014, 11:14:56 PM
No, it made me laugh. The posts that make you puke in your mouth (like the ones defending rapists, for instance) are worse.
Said the poster with Hillary all over his signature. (I kid, I kid - beating a dead horse surely).
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on October 06, 2014, 01:33:17 PM
Looks like getting demodded was a blessing in disguise.
"Inks honey, are you coming to bed?"
"NO! I NEED TO STOP THESE TROLLS AND DELINQUENTS ON THE ATLAS FORUM! STAY AWAY WOMAN!"
"oh...okay :'("
"Inks honey, are you coming to bed?"
"NO! I NEED TO STOP THESE TROLLS AND DELINQUENTS ON THE ATLAS FORUM! STAY AWAY WOMAN!"
"oh...okay :'("
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 06, 2014, 10:53:30 PM
So did Bushie end up going on that long drive with Papa Bushie?
No I think he stayed home?? Mama and Papa went on the drive together and decided during the drive to un-invite him from the trip to Kansas City?? Not entirely clear.
Yes, a long drive, where they've decided to un-invite him permanently.
RIP Bushie.
Mama bakes him a chocolate cake to give him a Grade 11, puts him to bed with plenty of Tylenol PM, and then Papa comes in with the pillow to make it quick.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on October 07, 2014, 03:20:42 PM
King, I don't have to convince myself. I'm a pretty smart cookie and I'm positive I can do this. If I fail, I fail, but if I succeed that's all the better.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: #CriminalizeSobriety on October 08, 2014, 08:37:08 AM
Yep. They're basically the OP, but with less range.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on October 08, 2014, 10:14:11 AM
Are you on a mailing list of inconsequential things to be outraged about or what?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 08, 2014, 10:43:43 AM
But Jesus wants a lower a capital gains tax.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on October 08, 2014, 01:01:40 PM
Anyway I was anti-American Revolution back in kindergarten
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on October 08, 2014, 02:05:04 PM
Anyway I was anti-American Revolution back in kindergarten
Only on Atlas...
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 08, 2014, 09:08:55 PM
What is the friggin deal with the call centers!? Is this really the only thing anybody can do for temporary work in Oklahoma!? Go work at [Inks]ing Braum's or something! Hold a sign outside the car dealership! Anything!
A Yankee like you just doesn't understand the ways down here. Over a hundred years ago, honest, hardworking people settled the land. They fought famine and harsh weather and Indian raids. They called it Oklahoma. And with their hands - their calloused, strong hands - and a lot of grit and determination, they built call centers. Call centers, far as the eye can see. Glorious call centers from the Ozarks in the east to the plains in the west! This was their life, their pride, their legacy. And today, the next generation takes up the torch and continues the work of their forefathers. Answering phones, putting people on hold, assigning client ID numbers, escalating and resolving disputes, forwarding cases to the corporate office.
They may be humble people. They may not speak with your fancy Yankee accent and have your fancy Yankee ways. But without them, we'd never be able to understand why we got billed twice for our satellite TV this month, or why the direct debit for our gym membership hasn't posted to our bank account. Maybe you just don't understand, Hockey. Maybe you'll never understand.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: King on October 09, 2014, 03:19:36 PM
I stumbled on this election day comedy gold browsing Who's Online
I look around my neighborhood, and see business closing. They were opened under G W Bush.
A friend of mine, a local pastor, who had some rental properties, declared bankruptcy.
My neighbor, a dress maker, who does beautiful work, had trouble making ends meet and then had to go on welfare; she's not stupid and had me download how to do a business plan once. That hurt me because I use to be a welfare caseworker, and I hated the thought of this good, decent, honest, woman having to sit there and be interviewed, and even unintentionally, be humiliated like that.
With that, for the first time in two decades, I got off by butt and did some work for Romney, because Obama obviously wasn't helping. Obama has made it worse.
For the record, my neighborhood is about 95% African American, and the people I mentioned are as well.
I look around my neighborhood, and see business closing. They were opened under G W Bush.
A friend of mine, a local pastor, who had some rental properties, declared bankruptcy.
My neighbor, a dress maker, who does beautiful work, had trouble making ends meet and then had to go on welfare; she's not stupid and had me download how to do a business plan once. That hurt me because I use to be a welfare caseworker, and I hated the thought of this good, decent, honest, woman having to sit there and be interviewed, and even unintentionally, be humiliated like that.
With that, for the first time in two decades, I got off by butt and did some work for Romney, because Obama obviously wasn't helping. Obama has made it worse.
For the record, my neighborhood is about 95% African American, and the people I mentioned are as well.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck on October 09, 2014, 03:51:30 PM
I stumbled on this election day comedy gold browsing Who's Online
I look around my neighborhood, and see business closing. They were opened under G W Bush.
A friend of mine, a local pastor, who had some rental properties, declared bankruptcy.
My neighbor, a dress maker, who does beautiful work, had trouble making ends meet and then had to go on welfare; she's not stupid and had me download how to do a business plan once. That hurt me because I use to be a welfare caseworker, and I hated the thought of this good, decent, honest, woman having to sit there and be interviewed, and even unintentionally, be humiliated like that.
With that, for the first time in two decades, I got off by butt and did some work for Romney, because Obama obviously wasn't helping. Obama has made it worse.
For the record, my neighborhood is about 95% African American, and the people I mentioned are as well.
I look around my neighborhood, and see business closing. They were opened under G W Bush.
A friend of mine, a local pastor, who had some rental properties, declared bankruptcy.
My neighbor, a dress maker, who does beautiful work, had trouble making ends meet and then had to go on welfare; she's not stupid and had me download how to do a business plan once. That hurt me because I use to be a welfare caseworker, and I hated the thought of this good, decent, honest, woman having to sit there and be interviewed, and even unintentionally, be humiliated like that.
With that, for the first time in two decades, I got off by butt and did some work for Romney, because Obama obviously wasn't helping. Obama has made it worse.
For the record, my neighborhood is about 95% African American, and the people I mentioned are as well.
It really makes one wonder, who is better at waxing poetic about the good times of GOP rule, Naso or JJ?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Badger on October 10, 2014, 12:57:58 AM
To be honest, I would like backtored better if his posts were unintelligible.
Hopefully whoever made OC can create a Republican version and we can watch them interact.
"ark + ultra leftist hagen build dem sen majority with grimes as firewall"
"alaska fall to Rep party as IO sen cause ernst to win. roberts + cassidy seal gop sen maj."
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on October 10, 2014, 12:41:26 PM
Myles is very Twitter-friendly.
Better him than me. If I want to read twits, I just need to read this forum.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on October 10, 2014, 09:52:53 PM
()
"Can I come inside for winning Survivor?"
()
"Not until MLB Baseball American League Championship Series Game 1 Baltimore Orioles vs. Kansas City Royals is over around 2300-0200 CST!"
"Can I come inside for winning Survivor?"
()
"Not until MLB Baseball American League Championship Series Game 1 Baltimore Orioles vs. Kansas City Royals is over around 2300-0200 CST!"
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on October 11, 2014, 01:25:27 AM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=200235
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 11, 2014, 08:08:36 AM
Honestly, my main problem with that sig is the use of a transphobic slur.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on October 11, 2014, 08:31:21 AM
A guy I know, talking to me years ago:
Guy: "Because I view it as a harmful and counter-productive activity that has a chance of screwing someones life in some cases, which varies depending on the situation."
Guy: you on teh drugs
Guy: post right after proves your point
Guy: british anarchist: "my most embarrasing memory was when I got stoned last year and refered to my girlfriend as a smelly potato...she was Irish and needless to say I was promptly dumped."
Guy: "Because I view it as a harmful and counter-productive activity that has a chance of screwing someones life in some cases, which varies depending on the situation."
Guy: you on teh drugs
Guy: post right after proves your point
Guy: british anarchist: "my most embarrasing memory was when I got stoned last year and refered to my girlfriend as a smelly potato...she was Irish and needless to say I was promptly dumped."
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on October 12, 2014, 12:31:42 AM
Those appear to be considerably more than 35 mothef[inks]ing walruses, Tender.
European practice with numbers is to use the comma as the decimal point and either a period or a space as the thousands separator. I realize the difference from American practice is sometimes confusing, but why in hell would anyone be counting thousandths of a walrus? (And even if they wanted to, how could they?)
German engineering, or in this case the closely related science of Austrian engineering, demands a degree of precision that can only be achieved by counting to the nearest thousandth of a walrus.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 12, 2014, 09:17:38 AM
Mr. Worf will break the glass ceiling when he becomes the first klingon governor of Pennsylvania.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on October 12, 2014, 09:55:35 AM
I nominate Bushie. He has experience moderating the forum and a lot of free time on his hands.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on October 12, 2014, 10:28:29 AM
He said JJ had a boy personality. Sounds like JJ/Blondie is a trans, which would explain all the confusion.
Blondie is an asexual trans victimologist.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: solarstorm on October 12, 2014, 08:08:36 PM
It's interesting that white women now desire to have a big ass. It's easy to get caught off guard these days when they ask you 'does my butt look big in this?'
I know if I had a daughter I would tell her to keep the pounds because boys love grabbing ass in bed at night...awful song.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: solarstorm on October 12, 2014, 08:11:41 PM
Gay penguin marriage is the hip new fad.
And the East Coast is complete.
I don't know if your mistakes are deliberate here, or...
I was referring to the Census regions.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sol on October 12, 2014, 09:29:46 PM
I would be very happy to moderate a board on this fine site. As anyone can attest, I am a very fair person despite strong personal convictions.
I'd be fine with you moderating the 2004 U.S. Presidential Election Polls board.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Landslide Lyndon on October 13, 2014, 12:59:34 AM
Now Putin can see gay marriage from his house :O
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on October 13, 2014, 11:05:47 AM
In the opinion of Christianity thread:
Granted, he does sometimes think he is holier than thou.
Negative. Jesus just comes off as pretentious to me.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on October 13, 2014, 02:17:15 PM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on October 13, 2014, 02:22:40 PM
Classic.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 14, 2014, 02:22:21 PM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on October 14, 2014, 05:53:14 PM
SWE that post not only wasn't at all funny, it had a picture contained in it of people who had been murdered. It doesn't belong in this thread.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: SWE on October 14, 2014, 06:03:08 PM
SWE that post not only wasn't at all funny, it had a picture contained in it of people who had been murdered. It doesn't belong in this thread.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on October 14, 2014, 08:37:12 PM
()
Do you see this? Great Scott laughs at your puny poll. Why?
Because he is preparing for a glorious whipping of Charlie Two-Face.
Do you see this? Great Scott laughs at your puny poll. Why?
Because he is preparing for a glorious whipping of Charlie Two-Face.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on October 14, 2014, 09:05:38 PM
()
Do you see this? Great Scott laughs at your puny poll. Why?
Because he is preparing for a glorious whipping of Charlie Two-Face.
Do you see this? Great Scott laughs at your puny poll. Why?
Because he is preparing for a glorious whipping of Charlie Two-Face.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on October 14, 2014, 09:33:59 PM
()
Do you see this? Great Scott laughs at your puny poll. Why?
Because he is preparing for a glorious whipping of Charlie Two-Face.
Do you see this? Great Scott laughs at your puny poll. Why?
Because he is preparing for a glorious whipping of Charlie Two-Face.
LOL seriously? Do you have a picture?
Your teacher must have been creeped out...
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on October 14, 2014, 09:55:59 PM
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: courts on October 15, 2014, 02:33:56 PM
not to be mean but this legitimately made me laugh
I would prefer that he return to the United States, answer for his crimes, and be executed for treason.
Why do you think he is a traitor. I would really like to under why people think this way.
What else do you think he should do ?
Play Russian Roulette all day ?
Play Russian Roulette all day ?
I would prefer that he return to the United States, answer for his crimes, and be executed for treason.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on October 15, 2014, 02:36:34 PM
()
Do you see this? Great Scott laughs at your puny poll. Why?
Because he is preparing for a glorious whipping of Charlie Two-Face.
Do you see this? Great Scott laughs at your puny poll. Why?
Because he is preparing for a glorious whipping of Charlie Two-Face.
LOL seriously? Do you have a picture?
Your teacher must have been creeped out...
And no, my teacher didn't know what inspired it. It was an inside joke between me and this girl who I was into at the time.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on October 15, 2014, 03:36:50 PM
What else do you think he should do ?
Play Russian Roulette all day ?
Play Russian Roulette all day ?
I would prefer that he return to the United States, answer for his crimes, and be executed for treason.
Wait, you favor the death penalty, Lief? This is news to me.
I favor it for treason, yeah.
But not for, say, a remorseless serial child racist?
I do not support the death penalty for being racist to children.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Bacon King on October 15, 2014, 05:35:04 PM
Not the legitimate representation of the Joe people and should lose their seat on the UN Security Council.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: TDAS04 on October 15, 2014, 06:09:05 PM
Snowmen should be given a medal for exposing the NSA bullsh**t
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on October 15, 2014, 08:50:31 PM
Maybe Scott can ask Crist to borrow his fan to cool down his bum after the long, hard spanking Crist gives it in November.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 16, 2014, 10:20:42 AM
Adam Fitzgerald
Hifly
WalterMitty
FreedomHawk
Hifly
WalterMitty
FreedomHawk
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: DC Al Fine on October 16, 2014, 05:36:24 PM
Judas gets his 30 pieces of silver...
The NSA is so Christ-like. :P
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: morgieb on October 16, 2014, 07:43:27 PM
Not sure whether this belongs in the Sulfur Mine or here, but I loled.
He needs a spanking.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on October 17, 2014, 01:58:32 AM
What about Shovin Buddies?
I think all the R-MI's would be a good cast for "Shovin Buddies", if only Oldies weren't so tied up with Slowly Rotating Black Man : (
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on October 17, 2014, 04:31:00 PM
Context:
Clearly. It's not just coincidence that it happens to be the one genre of music invented by black people.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Ebowed on October 17, 2014, 06:24:53 PM
Yes, yes. Say what you will about the mormen, but at least they're not goddamn snake worshippers.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: tik 🪀✨ on October 18, 2014, 04:29:31 AM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=200531.0
HockeyDude's posts.
HockeyDude's posts.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 18, 2014, 09:23:03 AM
"It's not over ... Casey Wolf only up 7." (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=48619.0)
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 18, 2014, 03:24:51 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=200531.0
HockeyDude's posts.
HockeyDude's posts.
haha, subtle but hilarious.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oakvale on October 18, 2014, 03:52:54 PM
What does individual politics got to do with ANYTHING?
INDIVIDUAL POLITICS???
F U ridiculous MORON forum!!
F U
F U!
What's wrong with "you guys" ??? ???
I know it was only down to one sole moronic soul who decided that this was beyond his worth as a human being to consider comedians as actual human beings.
INDIVIDUAL POLITICS???
F U ridiculous MORON forum!!
F U
F U!
What's wrong with "you guys" ??? ???
I know it was only down to one sole moronic soul who decided that this was beyond his worth as a human being to consider comedians as actual human beings.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on October 18, 2014, 03:57:21 PM
What does individual politics got to do with ANYTHING?
INDIVIDUAL POLITICS???
F U ridiculous MORON forum!!
F U
F U!
What's wrong with "you guys" ??? ???
I know it was only down to one sole moronic soul who decided that this was beyond his worth as a human being to consider comedians as actual human beings.
INDIVIDUAL POLITICS???
F U ridiculous MORON forum!!
F U
F U!
What's wrong with "you guys" ??? ???
I know it was only down to one sole moronic soul who decided that this was beyond his worth as a human being to consider comedians as actual human beings.
what is this post
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on October 18, 2014, 04:13:17 PM
What does individual politics got to do with ANYTHING?
INDIVIDUAL POLITICS???
F U ridiculous MORON forum!!
F U
F U!
What's wrong with "you guys" ??? ???
I know it was only down to one sole moronic soul who decided that this was beyond his worth as a human being to consider comedians as actual human beings.
INDIVIDUAL POLITICS???
F U ridiculous MORON forum!!
F U
F U!
What's wrong with "you guys" ??? ???
I know it was only down to one sole moronic soul who decided that this was beyond his worth as a human being to consider comedians as actual human beings.
what is this post
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on October 18, 2014, 05:46:32 PM
The thing that stops bad is good. Some lefties make fun of me because they think it's too simple, and it is, but it's also correct. What stopped the Nazis? Good people in good nations standing up, some even when they didn't have to, to fight, often far from home, sometimes in their own front yard. Sure, sometimes bad is stopped by their own incompetence, but that usually takes a lot more time and suffering (see the Soviet Union, N.Korea, many others). Sometimes even bad stops bad (again, the Soviets), but usually working with the good.
For a current example, if Putin keeps being a douche and nobody in the EU or NATO stands up to him, he'll keep doing it. Sure sometimes it's confusing, as in Syria. And there have been countless times when good people didn't stand up (Rwanda, Congo, others) and horrible tragedies happened. Other times we stand up, get punched in the nose and sit back down (Somalia in the 90s). Sometimes the bad isn't even a person or group of people, it's Ebola or AIDS or famine, but it's usually people. People suck. People also rock. Sometimes the same funking person 5 minutes apart.
Ok, it's not really that simple, but it is the truth, at least as I see it.
For a current example, if Putin keeps being a douche and nobody in the EU or NATO stands up to him, he'll keep doing it. Sure sometimes it's confusing, as in Syria. And there have been countless times when good people didn't stand up (Rwanda, Congo, others) and horrible tragedies happened. Other times we stand up, get punched in the nose and sit back down (Somalia in the 90s). Sometimes the bad isn't even a person or group of people, it's Ebola or AIDS or famine, but it's usually people. People suck. People also rock. Sometimes the same funking person 5 minutes apart.
Ok, it's not really that simple, but it is the truth, at least as I see it.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Paul Kemp on October 18, 2014, 06:44:43 PM
Should be illegal, or at least heavily regulated and kept away from children.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 18, 2014, 07:12:39 PM
It should also be called something like "The Bad Place Weekly Review With opebo"
I would want opebo to expand beyond U.S. news, and just call it "This Week In Despair", with a nice break in the middle for happy stories about free love and pleasure-seeking.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Flake on October 19, 2014, 01:10:41 PM
We're back in paradise! (Aka Oklahoma)!
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on October 20, 2014, 07:40:15 AM
Quote
The heart of Atlasia is the family, usually a man, another man, and one or two adopted children. And what makes this family so strong and enduring is that neither of those men happen to be blood relatives.
What's wrong with two brothers adopting a child or two? ???
Alas, the Northeast is overrun with perverts and degenerates.
How long, how long I ask you, must we wallow in this cesspool of insanity?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on October 20, 2014, 09:14:51 AM
I just slept for 11 hours, so I should need a nap today, but we'll see.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: King on October 20, 2014, 09:17:28 AM
Bushie is going to go into winter hibernation soon.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🦀🎂🦀🎂 on October 20, 2014, 01:35:08 PM
Of course. Design decisions made in the service of having a playable board game with simple and engaging mechanics should totally be taken as expert advice from actual epidemiologists. Makes perfect sense. ::)
This is the same principle by which Risk proved that control of Australia is the most important step towards control of the world; or, to get even nerdier, how Twilight Struggle proved that domino theory was correct*.
This is the same principle by which Risk proved that control of Australia is the most important step towards control of the world; or, to get even nerdier, how Twilight Struggle proved that domino theory was correct*.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on October 20, 2014, 01:56:57 PM
Hey guys I wrote a rhyme
I loves me some LeBron
My knees go weak for Fitzgerald
If he gave me gay marriage
My virginity'd be imperiled
I'd Kasich him on the lips
Let him O-hi!-o! up my valley
And if the press came calling
I'd tell them all about me
I'm a real straight shooter
You can put that blunt down
That's right, get your act together
Because Adam's in town
I've got no time for that freedom
I'm not that introspective
If sexuality weren't an issue
I'd be ultraconservative
I loves me some LeBron
My knees go weak for Fitzgerald
If he gave me gay marriage
My virginity'd be imperiled
I'd Kasich him on the lips
Let him O-hi!-o! up my valley
And if the press came calling
I'd tell them all about me
I'm a real straight shooter
You can put that blunt down
That's right, get your act together
Because Adam's in town
I've got no time for that freedom
I'm not that introspective
If sexuality weren't an issue
I'd be ultraconservative
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 20, 2014, 02:35:40 PM
Pat Roberts (R-DC/Ukraine) (http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/gop-senator-campaigns-sunflower-fields-are-in-ukraine?utm_term=1akf4m2#3m5wbx9)
Gregory the Gallant will soon send the DC fossil to Chernobyl!
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Flake on October 20, 2014, 04:28:07 PM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 20, 2014, 07:12:23 PM
cc: simple truths mine (context)
It's a start on restriction. 317 million Americans to go!
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on October 20, 2014, 10:15:33 PM
Bushie is going to go into winter hibernation soon.
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Miles on October 20, 2014, 11:28:28 PM
waiting for Phil to come and tell us why this poll is junk
Oh, sorry. It can't be junk! Only the Senate numbers are a joke because they show Roberts and Orman tied. This is obviously accurate!
I swear to god, you're the most arrogant, insufferable prick this side of Joe Biden. Welcome to ignore.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 21, 2014, 01:16:34 AM
I wish the topic title wasn't sexually charged.
()
pretty good material for those with overlapping MILF and medical fetish.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Illuminati Blood Drinker on October 21, 2014, 06:05:25 PM
♫ If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! ♫
Snowstalker: A typical capitalist plot to divert the proletariat from taking into their own hands the means of production.
♫ If you're happy and you know it, stomp your feet! ♫
Snowstalker: True happiness will not be obtained until the people stomp the capitalist system into the dustbin of history.
♫ If you're happy and you know it, shout Amen! ♫
Snowstalker: As you can see, the predatory capitalists - like the rapacious feudalists before them - are quite happy to dope the masses with the opiate of religion.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on October 21, 2014, 07:59:13 PM
It sure was nice for somebody to lend Mr. Crist a fan during that debate, he had left his at home.
()
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on October 22, 2014, 09:18:31 AM
There is still room for Grimes to win this.
Yeah, in your head, which certainly has plenty of room.
Go play with your Santorum, Roberts and Brownback dolls, okay? Bye, little boy.
Ah, the "Senate Collection." Not available: Alison Lundergan Grimes.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 22, 2014, 11:39:14 AM
open your goddamn eyes SHEEPLE
THEY only allowed randall paul to be elected so that ZIONIST SHILLS like bacon king could peddle this exact theory
CHEMTRAILS.
THEY only allowed randall paul to be elected so that ZIONIST SHILLS like bacon king could peddle this exact theory
CHEMTRAILS.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Joe Republic on October 22, 2014, 01:15:04 PM
What's funny is everyone here thinks I'm being lazy and not actively looking for a job and napping all day or watching 15 hours of TV everyday.
I just slept for 11 hours, so I should need a nap today, but we'll see.
That was obviously a typo. I meant to say "should not need a nap".
I did take a nap yesterday.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: King on October 22, 2014, 01:22:24 PM
So Bushie slept more hours than he was awake yesterday? Frightening.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 22, 2014, 01:31:36 PM
Terrific gallows humor as we are forced to wish farewell to beloved Senator Mark Udall :(
Hispanics were 13%, yet there is no way in hell they are going to be less than 23% of the electorate.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: traininthedistance on October 22, 2014, 04:55:39 PM
Meanwhile, white people riot for no apparent reason in Keene, NH. (http://www.sentinelsource.com/news/local/mayhem-erupts-saturday-in-neighborhoods-near-keene-state-campus/article_ba5ff36f-412e-5a8e-8bb5-85e881b8730e.html)
White culture of violence at it again. Cops should have put those thugs down like the animals they are. No wonder they riot at a pumpkin festival when their thug music glorifies that kind of violence (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Smashing_Pumpkins). When will leaders in the white community (like Ryan Seacrest and Bill O'Reilly) speak out against this destructive culture?!
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 22, 2014, 05:07:02 PM
Meanwhile, white people riot for no apparent reason in Keene, NH. (http://www.sentinelsource.com/news/local/mayhem-erupts-saturday-in-neighborhoods-near-keene-state-campus/article_ba5ff36f-412e-5a8e-8bb5-85e881b8730e.html)
White culture of violence at it again. Cops should have put those thugs down like the animals they are. No wonder they riot at a pumpkin festival when their thug music glorifies that kind of violence (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Smashing_Pumpkins). When will leaders in the white community (like Ryan Seacrest and Bill O'Reilly) speak out against this destructive culture?!
Funny as this post is, it really does speak volumes.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Bacon King on October 22, 2014, 07:08:10 PM
Drink a full glass of water every hour on election night to stay healthy and hydrated! (the most fun option)
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on October 23, 2014, 07:39:54 AM
Meanwhile, white people riot for no apparent reason in Keene, NH. (http://www.sentinelsource.com/news/local/mayhem-erupts-saturday-in-neighborhoods-near-keene-state-campus/article_ba5ff36f-412e-5a8e-8bb5-85e881b8730e.html)
White culture of violence at it again. Cops should have put those thugs down like the animals they are. No wonder they riot at a pumpkin festival when their thug music glorifies that kind of violence (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Smashing_Pumpkins). When will leaders in the white community (like Ryan Seacrest and Bill O'Reilly) speak out against this destructive culture?!
Funny as this post is, it really does speak volumes.
Great comedy often does.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck on October 23, 2014, 01:14:43 PM
12 Years A Person.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 23, 2014, 02:07:37 PM
12 Years A Person.
This made me genuinely laugh at loud. Well done.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on October 23, 2014, 02:56:04 PM
Waiting for confirmation from a credible firm, but this seems reasonable.
You guys are unbelievable. If it's a joke firm, it's a joke firm. And its results are crap and not reason for optimism or pessimism.
The Complete Idiot's Guide to X's Previous Post in This Thread
This post is dedicated to Rockefeller GOP! Wherever you are Rocky, know that without your lack of reading comprehension skills, none of this would be necessary.
Introduction: Sometimes my posts in this thread can be confusing, some have even called them "unbelievable." Fortunately, help is one the way :) Whether you're mystified by complex phrases like "this seems reasonable" or baffled by fancy five-dollar words like "confirmation" and "waiting," after reading this post, you too will be able to understand a very short post I made in this thread. Prepare to believe the "unbelievable!"
Part 1: In my previous post, the phrase "Waiting for confirmation..." meant that I am not going to read too much into this poll until there is more evidence to support its findings.
Part 2: In my previous post, the phrase "...from a credible firm" meant that I do not consider Rasmussen a remotely reliable polling company and that the evidence supporting this poll which I mentioned in Part 1 would need to come from a more reliable polling company. Note: Some readers may need to refer back to Part 1 for reference."
Part 3: In my previous post, the word "but" was being used to link the final part of the sentence fragment to the part discussed in Part 1 and Part 2.
Part 4: In my previous post, the phrase "this seems reasonable" meant that I found the results of this poll believable and thought that they made sense, despite coming from Rasmussen.
See what critics are saying about The Complete Idiot's Guide to X's Previous Post in This Thread:
- Rockefeller GOP says its "unbelievable" and "...a reason for optimism"
- Read the post Krazen calls "Dominating!"
- "Ken Buck, Ken Buck? Colorado. Ken Buck. KEN BUCK. 2010. Ken Buck" writes Keystone Phil
- "Why does everyone hate me?" asks kitten whiskers
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on October 23, 2014, 10:31:59 PM
"I wanted to call it Reaganland, but the gay bar by the airport has that name already"-Peter Griffin
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 24, 2014, 05:16:51 AM
Context:
I see Alaska's black guy attended the event!
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on October 24, 2014, 07:09:21 AM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Maxwell on October 24, 2014, 01:06:48 PM
get ready for four more years atlas (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkEcNmBPlVg)
Context necessary
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 24, 2014, 02:09:08 PM
get ready for four more years atlas (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkEcNmBPlVg)
Context necessary
oh god.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Deus Naturae on October 24, 2014, 10:42:40 PM
On their knees for Jesus. Until he comes.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on October 25, 2014, 02:05:01 AM
you FOOLS
hillary voted for the iraq war in 2002 which was a plot of the CORPORATE HALLIBURTON ILLUMINATI and their ZIONIST AGENTS to rob iraq of its OIL
therefore hillary is obviously corporate stooge #1 and will declare literal corporate warmonger fascism on DAY ONE of her presidency
only RON PAUL can save us
WAKE UP SHEEPLE
hillary voted for the iraq war in 2002 which was a plot of the CORPORATE HALLIBURTON ILLUMINATI and their ZIONIST AGENTS to rob iraq of its OIL
therefore hillary is obviously corporate stooge #1 and will declare literal corporate warmonger fascism on DAY ONE of her presidency
only RON PAUL can save us
WAKE UP SHEEPLE
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on October 25, 2014, 12:24:11 PM
A liberal former President of Atlasia was guest lecturing a class on Charles Darwin, known evolution advocate.
“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Darwin and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”
At this moment, a brave, bipartisan but Moderate Labor Governor who had served 1500 terms in the Althing and fully supported all decisions made by the Labor politburo stood up and held up a rock.
"How old is this rock"?
The arrogant former President smirked quite heathenly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”
“Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be Most Serene Squirrel by now.”
The former president was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of The Economist. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal satanist tears.
The students applauded and all registered for Labor in the Midwast that day and accepted LeBron FitzGerald as their lord and savior. An squirrel named “#KeepingTheMidwestStrong ” flew into the room and perched atop the Atlasian Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The lyrics to I Came To Play were read several times, and Windjammer himself showed up and enacted a $1.9 trillion dollar tolerance education program throughout the land.
The former president lost his Senate seat and degregistered the next day. He died of marijuana and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Darwin and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”
At this moment, a brave, bipartisan but Moderate Labor Governor who had served 1500 terms in the Althing and fully supported all decisions made by the Labor politburo stood up and held up a rock.
"How old is this rock"?
The arrogant former President smirked quite heathenly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”
“Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be Most Serene Squirrel by now.”
The former president was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of The Economist. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal satanist tears.
The students applauded and all registered for Labor in the Midwast that day and accepted LeBron FitzGerald as their lord and savior. An squirrel named “#KeepingTheMidwestStrong ” flew into the room and perched atop the Atlasian Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The lyrics to I Came To Play were read several times, and Windjammer himself showed up and enacted a $1.9 trillion dollar tolerance education program throughout the land.
The former president lost his Senate seat and degregistered the next day. He died of marijuana and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Badger on October 25, 2014, 05:01:58 PM
Waiting for confirmation from a credible firm, but this seems reasonable.
You guys are unbelievable. If it's a joke firm, it's a joke firm. And its results are crap and not reason for optimism or pessimism.
The Complete Idiot's Guide to X's Previous Post in This Thread
This post is dedicated to Rockefeller GOP! Wherever you are Rocky, know that without your lack of reading comprehension skills, none of this would be necessary.
Introduction: Sometimes my posts in this thread can be confusing, some have even called them "unbelievable." Fortunately, help is one the way :) Whether you're mystified by complex phrases like "this seems reasonable" or baffled by fancy five-dollar words like "confirmation" and "waiting," after reading this post, you too will be able to understand a very short post I made in this thread. Prepare to believe the "unbelievable!"
Part 1: In my previous post, the phrase "Waiting for confirmation..." meant that I am not going to read too much into this poll until there is more evidence to support its findings.
Part 2: In my previous post, the phrase "...from a credible firm" meant that I do not consider Rasmussen a remotely reliable polling company and that the evidence supporting this poll which I mentioned in Part 1 would need to come from a more reliable polling company. Note: Some readers may need to refer back to Part 1 for reference."
Part 3: In my previous post, the word "but" was being used to link the final part of the sentence fragment to the part discussed in Part 1 and Part 2.
Part 4: In my previous post, the phrase "this seems reasonable" meant that I found the results of this poll believable and thought that they made sense, despite coming from Rasmussen.
See what critics are saying about The Complete Idiot's Guide to X's Previous Post in This Thread:
- Rockefeller GOP says its "unbelievable" and "...a reason for optimism"
- Read the post Krazen calls "Dominating!"
- "Ken Buck, Ken Buck? Colorado. Ken Buck. KEN BUCK. 2010. Ken Buck" writes Keystone Phil
- "Why does everyone hate me?" asks kitten whiskers
Came here to post this. :)
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: 🦀🎂🦀🎂 on October 26, 2014, 01:15:38 PM
Comic timing 101: (unlikely source)
Not counting the purposely obnoxious posts around here (from myself, Lief, etc.), your posts have to be the most useless I have ever read.
Cotton havent solidified his lead, only lead by 2. If we win in AR, then Grimes may pull it out,.since McConnell isnt gonna be needed as majority leader and part of gridlock.
Only SD, WVa and Mnt locked up.
If she ends up pulling this out, she knows who to thank.
Not counting the purposely obnoxious posts around here (from myself, Lief, etc.), your posts have to be the most useless I have ever read.
Cotton havent solidified his lead, only lead by 2. If we win in AR, then Grimes may pull it out,.since McConnell isnt gonna be needed as majority leader and part of gridlock.
Only SD, WVa and Mnt locked up.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: King on October 26, 2014, 05:47:00 PM
just came to post that one
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 27, 2014, 07:34:16 AM
I am currently traveling forward in time at a rate of one second per second
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck on October 27, 2014, 08:31:19 AM
Awful mysoginistic trash.
Context absolutely necessary. I really hope he did that on purpose.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: free my dawg on October 27, 2014, 11:33:11 AM
Bushie, do you have a clear idea of what the Rapture is going to be like? I remember in Bill Maher's movie some lady said that she will literally be riding to heaven on a white horse. I mean... to even know the color of the horse...
I don't know exactly, but I believe it will occur at the Battle of Armageddon when the world's army has pushed the Israeli army to the brink of elimination. Jesus, who is Israel's Savior, will come down at the last moment riding in on a white horse and every Christian around the world will ascend into the air toward Jesus and the White Horse, receive their transformed bodies, and fight with Jesus and defeat the world's army and rescue Israel. The Christians will then go into heaven without having tasted death, and the world will be ushered into the 1,000 year reign of Jesus when Satan is bound and put in prison for 1,000 years and all the world governments will be overthrown and the entire world will be ruled by Jesus and His church, the ones He raptured. During that 1,000 years there will be not one war and there really will be peace on earth, good will toward men. At the end of the 1,000 years, Satan will be loosed to wreak havoc for a season and then be permanently cast into the lake of fire.
With the Israelis cornered in a weird ground war for some reason against the entire world, Israel's Savior™ Jesus will come down at the last moment before their destruction to save a bunch Bible Belters in the USA, but leaving the Jews to perish.
All in the next 7-10 years or your money back!
All in the next 7-10 years or your money back!
Perhaps I should clarify entire world. It's unclear if the United States will be involved. From what I can tell, it will be mainly a Russian-led war with several forces joined in including Iran and many other Middle-Eastern countries. The Biblical Gog and Magog will lead the war and those places are modern-day Russia. While nobody knows for sure, but I think it is very possible that Vladimir Putin could be the Antichrist. That is nothing more than an educated guess on my part. I do believe the Antichrist will come from Europe, whether it is Putin or not. (It is not Obama, despite what many stupid conservatives believe.)
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mechaman on October 27, 2014, 12:51:19 PM
Perhaps my bias comes from the fact that the cheerleaders at my school are the most narcissistic, hive minded, self-centered, attention seeking, self-gratifying pieces of filth I have ever witnessed.
In that case it certainly is a sport.
Classic response. CLASSIC.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on October 27, 2014, 02:06:29 PM
Defending women on the Atlas forum so that you can have sex with women doesn't seem like the best strategy.
I don't know about you, but I regularly defend womankind on the Atlas forum just so I can print out my posts and distribute copies to attractive women at local clubs. I'm hoping that some day, one of them will catch on as to what my intentions are. So far, it's only yielded confusion.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on October 28, 2014, 12:31:24 PM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Bacon King on October 28, 2014, 01:06:42 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=201331.0
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 28, 2014, 09:23:22 PM
Privilege theory is bourgeois left-liberal nonsense. (https://www.marxists.org/history/erol/ncm-1/wbs-critique.htm)
I'll assume you're being sarcastic since what I'm reading from that link is incomprehensible nonsense.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Hifly on October 29, 2014, 10:24:55 AM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 29, 2014, 08:55:43 PM
okay I know I shouldn't, but I find the kcdem's obsession with Phil (and especially that he's "from Pennsylvania"(always in italics)) hilarious:
Hopefully the incoming Democratic tsunami sweeps all the chaff out of office. It will certainly give a certain Republican from Pennsylvania a lot to think about...
Will there be a single Republican office holder left standing in the great state of Kansas next Wednesday morning?
Hopefully the incoming Democratic tsunami sweeps all the chaff out of office. It will certainly give a certain Republican from Pennsylvania a lot to think about...
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on October 29, 2014, 09:54:37 PM
The above posts show the Atlas Left in complete disarray. Further proof of the coming GOP tidal wave.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: King on October 30, 2014, 11:22:40 AM
AT&T girl for sure, hot as hell. Definitely proof that AT&T likes to throw money around.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: windjammer on October 30, 2014, 12:44:25 PM
It's happening folks!
Ummm then it's literally the opposite of the exact same result...
Seems reasonable. This race may very well have the exact same result as 2010, only it is Gardner who gets the win.
Ummm then it's literally the opposite of the exact same result...
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Sopranos Republican on October 30, 2014, 02:41:47 PM
Context:
I don't know what future he'll have after losing to Joni Ernst next week.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on October 30, 2014, 02:49:19 PM
Context:
I don't know what future he'll have after losing to Joni Ernst next week.
Classic Joe.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on October 30, 2014, 09:27:15 PM
Context:
With these kind of people on her side, Hillary can't possibly lose.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 31, 2014, 07:48:25 AM
I really can't stand Gardner, I want him to lose more than I want Udall to win, mainly because his fans are so obnoxious.
He's like a mix of the Oakland Raiders and Kenny Chesney?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: tmthforu94 on October 31, 2014, 12:39:13 PM
I don't know what future he'll have after losing to Joni Ernst next week.
Really? I know most of you dislike me, but this isn't right...
It really isn't right at all. You should leave immediately in protest.
Or maybe you all should focus on people who actually are causing problems on this board.
So, now you're referring to yourself as "people"?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on October 31, 2014, 01:12:32 PM
The only complicating factor is that a lot of Southern men seem gay to me. Maybe it's the accent, I don't know.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on October 31, 2014, 03:06:12 PM
Has Bushie tried caffeine pills?
Bushie believes his body is a temple and abstains from behavior altering substances.
Only Braum's and chain food may enter such a sacred place.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Badger on October 31, 2014, 06:17:30 PM
Defending women on the Atlas forum so that you can have sex with women doesn't seem like the best strategy.
I don't know about you, but I regularly defend womankind on the Atlas forum just so I can print out my posts and distribute copies to attractive women at local clubs. I'm hoping that some day, one of them will catch on as to what my intentions are. So far, it's only yielded confusion.
Amazing. Hall of Fame worthy! (if we had one)
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on October 31, 2014, 08:19:17 PM
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 31, 2014, 08:50:59 PM
oh my god
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on November 01, 2014, 01:16:38 PM
I don't think Dave was able to send his absentee ballot from Tender's dungeon :(
No worry, I took it to the post office ...
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on November 01, 2014, 01:54:49 PM
I don't think Dave was able to send his absentee ballot from Tender's dungeon :(
No worry, I took it to the post office ...
()
Just came in to post it, but I guess it deserves a double mention.
I don't think Dave was able to send his absentee ballot from Tender's dungeon :(
No worry, I took it to the post office ...
()
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on November 01, 2014, 08:01:45 PM
No, and quite frankly it isn't anyone's business but Senator Graham's and the National Enquirer.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Napoleon on November 01, 2014, 10:31:52 PM
At least it's not a red silhouette of Missouri.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Lief 🗽 on November 02, 2014, 12:19:39 AM
Junk election!
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: politicus on November 02, 2014, 12:49:53 AM
Junk election!
He is on a roll.
ashley judd would have stopped mitch mcconnell
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Mopsus on November 02, 2014, 09:37:17 AM
FreedomHawk is a fitting username because he has the cognitive capabilities of a bird.
And is a straight A student that has already earned the respect of his state representative and senator [...]
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on November 02, 2014, 11:14:12 AM
Wait, there's more:
And is a straight A student that has already earned the respect of his state representative and senator and was the highest GPA in his grade for two years now...
Freedomhawk, is that you posting, or is that your grandmother bragging about you to her knitting club again?
FreedomHawk is a fitting username because he has the cognitive capabilities of a bird.
And is a straight A student that has already earned the respect of his state representative and senator and was the highest GPA in his grade for two years now...
Freedomhawk, is that you posting, or is that your grandmother bragging about you to her knitting club again?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on November 02, 2014, 06:25:26 PM
I'm guessing you have 300 confirmed kills and you're the top sniper in the US armed forces too?
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Goldwater on November 02, 2014, 07:24:23 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?action=profile;u=12473;sa=showPosts
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: IceSpear on November 03, 2014, 01:13:40 AM
I've had a long, boring day off today, so I took some of you guys' ideas for Update-opoly and sketched this out:
CLICK FOR BIGGER VERSION
() (http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o107/JoeRepublic/update-opoly_zpsfa5851bf.jpg)
Let me know if I should make any edits. You'll probably notice that the property color blocks are grouped by theme (except the pink block, which was a random assortment of whatever was left, but whatever). Any further suggestions?
I've already got a ton of ideas for the Chance and Community Chest cards.
CLICK FOR BIGGER VERSION
() (http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o107/JoeRepublic/update-opoly_zpsfa5851bf.jpg)
Let me know if I should make any edits. You'll probably notice that the property color blocks are grouped by theme (except the pink block, which was a random assortment of whatever was left, but whatever). Any further suggestions?
I've already got a ton of ideas for the Chance and Community Chest cards.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on November 03, 2014, 06:07:25 AM
This looks fun.
Wake up at 1pm
1:02 - Check election results
1:03 - Sean Haugh is elected US Senator
1:06 - Kathy Glass is elected governor of Texas
1:09 - Ron Paul is somehow president.
1:10 - Mrs. Garcia walks in and tells me I'm failing Spanish
1:12 - Something isn't right here–I would never fail Spanish. This must be a dream!
Wake up for real. It's 3am
Wake up at 1pm
1:02 - Check election results
1:03 - Sean Haugh is elected US Senator
1:06 - Kathy Glass is elected governor of Texas
1:09 - Ron Paul is somehow president.
1:10 - Mrs. Garcia walks in and tells me I'm failing Spanish
1:12 - Something isn't right here–I would never fail Spanish. This must be a dream!
Wake up for real. It's 3am
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: SPC on November 03, 2014, 11:11:39 AM
Wait, he's a poster? What's his username?
Here's his profile:
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?action=profile;u=1847
In the other thread, Simfan reminded us of this post by Mr. Perry:
Can you morons at least pick members of the posters preferred sex?
If I was to pick a female congressman to have an affair with it would be
Mary Landrieu
()
or
Kirsten Gillibrand
()
Surely the sort of thing that a future president of the United States wants to say on the record.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Clarko95 📚💰📈 on November 03, 2014, 01:12:11 PM
This parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule.
That sounds lovely. Very tranquil and homely. I hope they are doing well.
Quote
The mule fell into the farmer’s well.
That didn't take long.
Quote
The farmer heard the mule praying or whatever mules do when they fall into wells.
The word you're looking for is "drown."
Quote
After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving.
Look, I can criticise a lot of things here, but what really bothers me is that, once the mule drowns and begins decomposing, the smell will be unbearable. This farmer is a shortsighted man. I don't like him. He must be the villain of the story. Proceed.
Quote
Instead, he called his neighbors together, told them what had happened, and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.
Honestly that sounds like more work than just rescuing the mule.
Quote
Initially the old mule was hysterical!
Do note that the word "hysterical" carries connotations of laughter.
Quote
But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him.
"Maybe we should finally embrace fluoridation!"
Quote
It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back, HE WOULD SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP!
For a farmer, he seems exceptionally unfamiliar with dirt and water.
Quote
This he did, blow after blow.
What kind of mule is this?
Quote
“Shake it off and step up… shake it off and step up… shake it off and step up!”
said Lil Wayne emphatically.
Quote
He repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows, or how distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought panic and just kept right on SHAKING IT OFF AND STEPPING UP!
Work it, girl!
Quote
It wasn’t long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well!
It was for the neighbors forced to pour dirt down a well, who, from cutting off a perfectly good supply of drinking water in order to save an animal whose meat is unpalatable and that is highly likely unable to reproduce and so to provide future benefits, probably all died of heat stroke.
Quote
What seemed like it would bury him actually helped him … all because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.
This mule did almost nothing. The mule deserves no credit and should be put to death by the toiling masses who were exploited by the greedy farmer.
Quote
THAT’S LIFE!
Life is somehow even more full of despair than this tale of a stupid mule that survived due to the convenient temporary nonexistence of mud.
Quote
If we face our problems and respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity.
I'd just like to reiterate that the mule did nothing more than take advantage of the toiling of others who were actually trying to murder it.
Quote
Killed the useless old mule?
The farmer looked for the easiest way to get the problem out of his life and accidentally saved the lesser of two things that he could use to survive. I don't like this story and ask that you try again.
Title: Re: The t_host1 Institute of Comedy
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on November 03, 2014, 05:36:31 PM
Congrats, Joe. This Institute is complete.