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News: Don't forget to get your 2013 Gubernatorial Endorsements and Predictions in!

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1  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: The Adventures of Hobo Orgy Guy and Blondie on: Today at 07:42:07 am
Inks, on the off chance you're reading this, sorry to be picking on you with the de-modding discussion, but I came up with this story a year ago, and didn't know what was going to happen IRL on the forum this year.  And, well, the show must go on.  Tongue
2  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: The Adventures of Hobo Orgy Guy and Blondie on: Today at 07:39:23 am
Seamus: Hmmm....I was hoping we could call in your surrender to authorities, but this may be a bit trickier than assumed.

What kind of message could we send that would actually get the Pentagon's attention, given those limitations?

Dave: A fair question.  If the Atlas was still online, then I believe I could devise a message that would attract President Naso's attention.  But without it, this would be problematic.


Twister: You mean this Atlas?

[Twister reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a flash drive, the same one that he showed Blondie and Hog way back in Episode 18.]

Dave: Incredible.  Do you mean to suggest that the source code for my election atlas can be found in that device?


Twister: Yeah, the last remainging copy.  I brought it here from Cheyenne Mountain.  I've had it on me the whole time.  Inks was supposed to interrogate me for information, but he never thought to actually search me for the one thing Nym was looking for.

Dave: Well then, we may just have a fighting chance.


Winfield: No, I'm afraid you don't.  You see, there's no power running from this station's reactor core to the modem that's connected to that internet line.  You have to actually get into the reactor core itself, and manually divert power.  Do you know how difficult that is?

Blondie: Enlighten us.

Winfield: To maintain security here, the security codes for entering the reactor core remain unknown even to myself.  I entrusted that information to a few of my most trusted robot servants.  Robot servants that your friend, the dearly departed Mr. Nym90, has destroyed.

So what do you have to do to get in there now?  Go down to level 9B, reprogram the Rainbow Play Systems computer, which is encrypted in a Kenyan dialect of Swahili, thus allowing you access to the engineering area.  You then release the seal on the reactor core chamber.  It's vacuum sealed, such that only someone familiar with Kirby vacuums would have any hope of breaking it.  Then you enter the reactor core, highly dangerous in itself, and divert power to the modem in question.  But the reactor core is powered by an enriched fuel known as Oklahoma natural gas.  Where are you going to find someone with knowledge of such a fuel, who is also familiar with Kirby vacuums, Rainbow Play computer systems, and Kenyan languages?  That's a rather specific set of skills.

[And just at that moment, Bushie started to stir a little.  He didn't really move, or even open his eyes, but he looked up....looked up at Hog in particular, and then he muttered.....

BushOK: Cleaning up the meat......love on kids......brief relaxation......gotta focus on Christmas, only 11 months away.....

[And with that, Bushie drifted back to unconsciousness.

And at that instant.....a flood of memories, uh, flooded back into Hog's head.]

Hog: I remember.

Blondie: What?

Hog: I remember everything.

Blondie: You mean?

Hog: Yes.  I remember my life as Bushie.

AndrewCT: You're Bushie?  I guess you do sort of look like him.

Hog: Yes, I am.  Didn't you watch the previous episodes?  Try to keep up.  (now facing Seamus)  Listen, Mr. Irishman, I believe I have all the skills you need.  I'm familiar with that Rainbow Play Systems computer, I learned Swahili while living in Kenya for about a decade, I'm well versed in all of the Kirby vacuum's enhanced suction techniques, and I know everything there is to know about Oklahoma Natural Gas.

Seamus: And how do you know how to do all of that?

Hog: Because I was training.  I was training all of my life for this moment and I just didn't know it.

Listen.  I'd forgotten who I was.  I guess it was the fact that I hit myself in the head with a rock and then traveled through time.  That may be the literal reason for my forgetfulness, yes.

But there's a deeper reason.  I forgot who I was because I wanted to forget.  I was thrown into poverty, living the life of a hobo.  I was truly on my own, and had no parents to fall back on, nor a Winfield to offer me a job.

And I guess, subconsciously, I didn't want to face up to the fact that my old life, my life as "BushOklahoma", had left me so ill prepared for adversity.

And so I hated myself.  That is, I didn't know that I was hating *myself*, as I didn't know that I was Bushie.  But I hated....*him*.  That is, Bushie.  The younger Bushie.  The one who'd squandered all the opportunities he was handed and ignored everyone's advice.  The one who'd called the police and began regular patrols when a few hobos wanted to use his unoccupied residence to bring a little joy to their lives.  I wanted to throw a rock at him, to punish him for what he did.  And I eventually did that, and it created the person who you see today.

I also hated Update.  I hated it even before I lost my memory.  I thought that it would never bring me anything other than emptiness and despair.  But listening to that "Update on tape" has jogged my memory, and brought it all back to me.  Update provided a record of all of my old life as Bushie, that will live forever, long after I'm gone.  And it's reminded me of the skills that I have.  The skills that I learned at all of those seemingly dead end jobs, skills that will now save the lives of millions of people, when I prevent this nuclear attack.

Seamus: Actually, it's only hundreds of thousands.

Hog: Whatever.  The point is, yes I screwed up over and over.  Yes, I failed to learn from my mistakes.  But now there's an opportunity for me, here, right now, to put everything I've ever learned to use.  I may be a screw-up who all of you liked to mock, but I can make a difference, here, today.  At least for this one day, I can be proud to be BushOklahoma, star of Update.

Winfield: Even with your skills, it won't be enough.  Nym may have destroyed all of the robots on this level, but there are still some guard droids that are programmed to defend the reactor core at all costs, and that I have no way of calling off.  You will need some serious firepower in order to neutralize them.

Hog: Well then.  (Turns to face Dave)  There is one thing you can do for me......make me a moderator again.

3  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: The Adventures of Hobo Orgy Guy and Blondie on: Today at 07:38:14 am
The Adventures of Hobo Orgy Guy and Blondie (....in progress)

Episode 34 (2x14) "I Guess You Don't Understand The Concept Of Grace"

Winfield's bunker, large storage bay interior

[Nearly the entire cast of characters in our story are here now: Dave, the moderators, Blondie, Hog, Twister, Seamus, Winfield, Yougo1000, BRTD's imaginary 10 year old daughter, and the still-unconscious Bushie.

Inks has just killed Nym, and destroyed his satellite phone, which was apparently the group's only means of communicating with the outside world, to plead with the US military to call off the imminent nuclear attack on Salt Lake City.  The other mods are voicing their displeasure with Inks by circulating a petition.

Tender Branson walks up to Inks, and pushes the petition in his face.]

Tender Branson: Will you sign this, Inks?

[Inks grabs the piece of paper, and reads...]

Inks: Petition to de-mod Inks?  Really guys?

Joe Republic: Sorry Inks, but what did you expect?  You've doomed us all, and we could all die a fiery death any minute now.  You expect us to keep you as a moderator?

Inks: These signatures aren't even real.  The first one is supposedly Keystone Phil.  He's thousands of miles away!  How could he have signed this in the last few minutes?

Joe Republic: No, that's absolutely real.  I figured this day would come, so I started the petition years ago, and Phil eagerly signed up first.

Inks: But this is unusually specific.  It says "Petition to de-mod Inks in response to his assassination of Nym."  How could you have predicted that?

[Joe pulls out some additional pieces of paper with Keystone Phil's signature, and holds them up for Inks to look at.]

Joe Republic: Phil wanted to make sure that his voice was counted in support of de-modding you regardless of the circumstances, so we came up with every contingency: "Petition to de-mod Inks in response to his moderating while under the influence of hard liquor", "Petition to de-mod Inks in response to his sale of private IP information to corporate advertisers", "Petition to de-mod Inks in response to the recent revelations regarding his role in the plot to assassinate President Kennedy"?

Badger: I'm afraid I've got to reluctantly agree with Joe here.  Most of us have had disagreements about moderating philosophy before.  That's perfectly understandable, given that Dave has been imprisoned for over a decade, and left us to our own devices, with no guidance.  I'm not one to criticize other moderators for their tough decisions in most cases, but killing the Modadmin is a bridge too far, even for me.

Bacon King: I can't believe you guys are wasting time on this conversation.  We're all going to be dead pretty soon, and you're wasting time on this?  Let's get serious here....Dave is never going to read this petition.  This is absolutely pointless.  These petitions don't work.  If you have a case to make about de-modding Inks, then just email Dave rather than waste time with this.

Mr. Moderate: No, there's no time for that.  We need to focus on what we can do in our final moments before we die: Choose a new Modadmin, now that Nym is gone.

Badger: What about you?

Mr. Moderate: Me?

Badger: Well, we don't want Inks.  And I think you'd be relatively uncontroversial, even if there are others with more seniority.

Bacon King: I could go along with that.  But again, Dave is never going to respond to our request anyway, so why are we even bothering?

Seamus: Excuse me people, but may I point out the absurdity of this debate, given that we're all about do die?

Can we get down to the business of finding out if there's any way for us to save ourselves, and this city, now that Nym's shattered satellite phone is out of the picture?

[Seamus grabs the dazed Winfield and tries to shake him into lucidity.]

Seamus: Come on Winfield, think!  When you built this fortress you had to have planned for every contingency!  There must be *SOME* way for us to contact the outside world regardless of the military's attempts to jam any signal.

[Winfield thinks for a minute, and then....]

Winfield: Actually....there is.

Seamus: And?

Winfield: And what?

Seamus: Are you going to tell us what it is?

Winfield: Good question.  I fear that if I assist you in communicating with the outside world, you will use the opportunity to have me incarcerated, and my efforts to install Gov. Romney as president of the United States will face a serious setback.

Seamus: Winfield, you showed me Gov. Romney's corp....uh.....I mean, his comatose body.  If you surrender yourself to the authorities, they'll surely come here to take you in, and see the Governor's glorious, inert self.  Surely, that will....ummm.....spark a nationwide movement to install him as president, no?  I mean, what's the alternative?  We all die in a nuclear blast, including the Governor himself?

Winfield: I don't know.  That doesn't sound very plausible.

Seamus: Are you doubting the raw charisma of Gov. Romney's unconscious body?  You don't think he could lead this nation with his eyes closed?

Winfield: I....I guess I shouldn't doubt Him.

You're right.  I'm sure there will soon be a groundswell of support for Him.  A Silent Majority that can be harnessed to His electoral advantage.

Please discuss.

So, let us proceed with the plan to escape from our present predicament.

There is an emergency internet line that runs deep underground, beneath this fortress, and reconnects with the rest of the so-called "world wide web" somewhere near Denver.  The troll leadership running troll territory in Colorado has never touched it, because they consider ease of internet access vital to maintaining their standard of living.

So with this line of communication, you can reach anywhere in the outside world.  But the connection is very slow.  Not fast enough to support an audio or video call.  The best you could do is send an email of some kind, or perhaps upload an image.
4  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Why do you think? on: Today at 05:41:49 am
Who says I do?
5  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: What do your family and friends think when they see the Atlas Forum? on: Today at 03:49:42 am
I don't tell most people about the forum why would you do that

How can anyone be truly close to you if they don't know about Atlas?
6  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / 2016 U.S. Presidential Election / Re: Will Iraq War 3 Dominate GOP (and Dem?) Debates In 2016? on: Today at 03:06:29 am
Perry says that some Islamic State fighters might have infiltrated the US via Mexico:


Asked afterward by an attendee whether he knew of any Islamic State members coming over the southern border between U.S. and Mexico, Perry said there was “a very real possibility” that they may have already done so, but noted he had no clear evidence.

He also didn't rule out ground troops:

In a muscular speech at conservative think tank The Heritage Foundation, Perry called on the U.S. to thwart the group’s momentum “by any means necessary,” advocating for sustained airstrikes against the extremists and even refusing to rule out sending back U.S. ground troops into Iraq as a possible remedy.
7  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / 2016 U.S. Presidential Election / Re: Who is the most likely person to run for the Dem. nomination besides Clinton? on: Today at 02:09:43 am
If Schweitzer was allegedly scared out of running for Senate because of some opposition research against him (which, according to some Politico article even DSCC staff feared would make him unelectable in Montana), then why is he still running for President? Won't the dirt just come out in this race?

That assumes that the reason for him skipping the Senate race is because of said oppo research, as opposed to him simply not wanting to waste his time on a Senate race when he'd rather run for president.
8  Forum Community / Forum Community / Ask Gabu on: August 21, 2014, 10:42:22 pm
If you have any questions for Gabu, post them here.  He presumably won't answer you, since he hasn't posted on Atlas for over six years, but I think we can all agree that we need a single thread to compile whatever questions we have for him, rather than posting them across disparate threads on the forum.
9  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / 2016 U.S. Presidential Primary Election Polls / Zogby national: D: Clinton 54% Biden 10% Warren 10%; R: Romney 20% Christie 12% on: August 21, 2014, 08:42:18 pm
Zogby Analytics national poll:




Clinton 54%
Biden 10%
Warren 10%
O'Malley 4%
Schweitzer 1%
Webb 1%


Romney 20%
Christie 12%
Paul 11%
Cruz 9%
Huckabee 8%
Bush 6%
Rubio 4%
Walker 4%
Jindal 3%
Haley 1%
Martinez 1%
Kasich 0%
Portman 0%
10  General Politics / U.S. General Discussion / Re: 16 year-old arrested for writing about shooting a dinosaur on: August 21, 2014, 08:21:12 pm
What dinosaur was it?

Don Pardo.

(too soon?)
11  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Just moved to Moscow, Idaho on: August 21, 2014, 09:21:01 am
I lived in its sister city of Pullman for about a year, some time ago.  But I don't remember the details of life there well enough to give you solid recommendations.  IIRC, bgwah went to school there at one point?  I might have that wrong though.

In any case, you could read this:

12  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / 2016 U.S. Presidential General Election Polls / Re: Florida (SurveyUSA): Hillary leads Romney by 7 on: August 21, 2014, 09:11:48 am
56-37 looks solid enough, but if it is down from 75-22 or so, then the Republicans have a problem in Florida.   

When was it 75-22?  Do you have a citation for this?  The exit polls don't usually break it down between "Cuban" and "other Hispanic".
13  General Politics / U.S. General Discussion / Re: 16 year-old arrested for writing about shooting a dinosaur on: August 21, 2014, 08:15:53 am
I want to hear what Naso thinks about this.

In the meantime, here's fictionalized Naso:

Naso: I first attended school in the 1990s.  I remember when I was in grade school, if there was a fight between students, the teacher would just let the students sort it out.  Nowadays, they would suspend the students for bullying and give them sensitivity training.  If a student tried to point his finger at another student like a gun, he would probably get arrested.  A letter would be sent to the parents, saying:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
Johnny has shown signs of violence, and must be reeducated so that he respects a culture of nonviolence, with equal respect for all races, genders, and sexual preferences.

Is this America?
14  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: 2014 Selfie Creepfest/Post a picture of yourself thread on: August 21, 2014, 07:39:52 am
your face looks exactly how i pictured you

And his legs are exactly as blurry as I always imagined.

They're blurry because he's always running to find the next poll, so that he can post a thread about it here.
15  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / 2016 U.S. Presidential General Election Polls / Re: Florida (SurveyUSA): Hillary leads Romney by 7 on: August 21, 2014, 07:32:20 am
I discuss a change from the past in which most Cuban-Americans, at least in Florida, were reliable voters for Republicans in Presidential elections.

How is this a change from the past, when this very poll, the very numbers that you're quoting, shows most Cuban-Americans in Florida currently supporting Romney over Clinton in a hypothetical presidential matchup?

Now, you can argue that the sample size on these subgroups are too small to mean anything, but that's not what you're saying.  You seem to think that this poll shows Cuban-Americans in Florida supporting Democrats when that's the opposite of what it shows.  It shows Romney doing better with Cuban-Americans in Florida than he does with either non-Cuban Hispanics or with whites.  Is that really so confusing?
16  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / 2016 U.S. Presidential General Election Polls / Re: Florida (SurveyUSA): Hillary leads Romney by 7 on: August 21, 2014, 06:43:53 am
That Hispanics of Cuban origin are approaching the voting patterns of other Hispanics indicates that the GOP is losing them.

In what way does this poll suggest that their voting patterns are converging?  They look pretty different in this poll.

From the poll:

Cuban Hispanics
Romney 56%
Clinton 37%

non-Cuban Hispanics
Clinton 59%
Romney 33%

Cuban-Americans in Florida used to be a reliably-Republican voting bloc. Republicans can no longer rely upon the appeal that "Democrats are tools of Fidel Castro".


What are you talking about?  Romney has a huge lead among Cubans in that poll, according to the very numbers that you're quoting, while Clinton has a huge lead among non-Cuban Hispanics.
17  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / 2016 U.S. Presidential General Election Polls / Re: Florida (SurveyUSA): Hillary leads Romney by 7 on: August 21, 2014, 05:18:54 am
That Hispanics of Cuban origin are approaching the voting patterns of other Hispanics indicates that the GOP is losing them.

In what way does this poll suggest that their voting patterns are converging?  They look pretty different in this poll.
18  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / 2016 U.S. Presidential General Election Polls / Re: NY-Quinnipiac: Clinton & Cuomo lead Bush, Christie, & Paul by double digits on: August 21, 2014, 05:17:27 am
fav/unfav %

Clinton 62/34% for +28%
Cuomo 55/36% for +19%
Christie 46/39% for +7%
Paul 31/37% for -6%
Bush 31/44% for -13%
19  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / 2016 U.S. Presidential General Election Polls / NY-Quinnipiac: Clinton & Cuomo lead Bush, Christie, & Paul by double digits on: August 21, 2014, 05:14:06 am
Quinnipiac poll of New York:


Clinton 60%
Bush 29%

Clinton 61%
Paul 30%

Clinton 54%
Christie 34%

Cuomo 53%
Bush 30%

Cuomo 55%
Paul 31%

Cuomo 47%
Christie 37%
20  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / 2016 U.S. Presidential Election / Re: Rick Perry indicted on abuse of power on: August 21, 2014, 03:27:07 am
After the booking, Perry brushed it off by treating himself to an ice cream cone.  He tweeted these pics:

21  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / U.S. Presidential Election Results / Re: What if West Virginia never split off from Virginia? on: August 21, 2014, 03:07:36 am
Obviously this wouldn't have flipped any presidential races (because the only sufficiently close races were 1876 and 2000, and both states voted the same way in both cases), but I wonder if having the one state instead of two would have ever flipped the Senate, compared to who controlled it in real life.  Who would the Senators have been in 2001-2002 for example, when the margin of control in the Senate was one seat?
22  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: When will Tender Branson surpass BRTD for highest number of topics started? on: August 21, 2014, 02:34:00 am
On reading this thread:


I started to wonder….of all the polls that BRTD has ever created, in what percentage of them did he vote in the majority?
23  Forum Community / Election and History Games / Re: RISK Domination XI: Round 7 (HagridOfTheDeep) on: August 21, 2014, 12:12:00 am
How do you unprod someone? Tongue

It's sort of like being gruntled rather than disgruntled.

Or flammable, rather than inflammable.

Wait, what?

I'd go with gurgitate rather than regurgitate.  Or illusioned rather than disillusioned.
24  Forum Community / Election and History Games / Re: RISK Domination XI: Round 7 (HagridOfTheDeep) on: August 21, 2014, 12:04:40 am
How do you unprod someone? Tongue

It's sort of like being gruntled rather than disgruntled.
25  General Politics / U.S. General Discussion / Re: Family values Republican state rep. arrested for raping his wife on: August 20, 2014, 11:15:00 pm
If you have advanced Alzheimer's or some other state of severe mental impairment, you basically are a living corpse. Sorry, but when you can no longer reason or communicate with others, you have ceased being human and started simply being a hunk of flesh that happens to be able to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide. The person you were before - the person your spouse married - is gone.

That seems like overkill.  You "have ceased being human"?  Is there really a bright line between being a competent adult and being a vegetable, or is there a continuum along that line?  Who decides when you've crossed it, and what criteria do they use?

Also, how is this handled in cases where people are mentally handicapped from birth?  Are they deemed not fit to consent to sex in their entire lives, and on what criteria is this judgment made?
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