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1  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Who are your favorite white people? on: June 26, 2015, 01:05:04 am
Does Barack Obama count?  If not, pass
2  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Opinion of Atlas banned posters poll #10: Link on: June 24, 2015, 09:07:25 pm
He thinks jokes about domestic violence are funny, so I think it would be funny to feed him to lions.
3  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Voting Booth / Re: Pacific Voting Booth: June Elections on: June 24, 2015, 06:25:30 pm
Voting has closed.  Results will be posted soon.

It is my understanding that voters must reside in the Region for 7 days prior to the commencement of an election in order for their ballots to be eligible.  Thus, unfortunately, I must disqualify the votes of BaconKing and Tik.
4  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / U.S. Presidential Election Results / Re: Has anyone made a map... on: June 23, 2015, 09:54:35 pm
What's the yellow county?

Ferry, WA
5  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Regional Governments / Re: Pacific - Emergency Legislative Proposals on: June 23, 2015, 08:58:57 pm
My friends, I have received orders for and complied with the release and transfer of Governor Simfan34 to the Supreme Court as they determine whether or not I have arrested him properly.

Thank you all for your trust, for your confidence, and for your continued support.  Regardless of the outcome, I can assure you all that there will be plenty of work to do in the days and months ahead in continuing to ensure a more fair society for all workers of the Pacific, and indeed, for all of our fellow earthlings.  I am sure that the conscience of a newly elected Council would never see fit to repeal our groundbreaking new protections for cetaceans and other megafauna.  It is with great excitement that we enter our next chapter here in the Pacific.  Thank you, again, to the People and indeed to the Governor for giving me this opportunity to serve.
6  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Atlas Fantasy Government / Re: Petition for a Writ of Habeas Corpus on: June 23, 2015, 08:50:19 pm
Your Honors, I ordered the arrest of Governor Simfan34 upon determination that a lack of administration for an election was sufficient grounds to take this action in the fear that further problems from his tenure would disturb the ongoing process of holding an emergency election as quickly as possible.  It was an error in judgement to hold a vote on the position of Governor, and the voting booth has been rectified to address this.

In making my determination, I noted that both our most recently open public booth (for a constitutional amendment) had not been certified or closed; nor had the most recently addressed piece of Council legislation been moved along under traditional procedures.  It was clear to me that the state of the government was in a sense of crisis and that swift penalties were necessary to restore confidence in the Region.
7  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Atlas Fantasy Government / Re: Petition for a Writ of Habeas Corpus on: June 23, 2015, 08:41:29 pm
I have ordered the release of the Governor, as directed, and the transfer into the hands of the Supreme Court.

I will have a brief ready shortly.
8  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Opinion of Deus Naturae on: June 23, 2015, 06:36:37 pm
Misogynist
9  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Is There Any Hope for A Re-Unification of Atlas? on: June 23, 2015, 03:01:24 pm
So is this really just about being able to mock some dude with tourettes' sad life?

Racist
10  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Atlas Fantasy Elections / Re: Governor Simfan did not and cannot fire CJO Ebowed on: June 23, 2015, 02:50:26 pm
The question is: is there still any functioning government of Pacific?

I am in hiding but I shall continue to rule in favor of the workers by decree until the new Council swears in.
11  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Regional Governments / Re: Pacific - Emergency Legislative Proposals on: June 22, 2015, 11:27:13 pm
I mourn the arrest of Senator Turkisblau as an affront to our beloved People and their will.

In haste, I propose the following law, knowing that my time may be running out.

First Expansions to Mammal Protections Act of 2015

1. Non-human persons, those sentient beings with legal entitlements to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and freedom from exploitation, shall now be defined to include, in addition to all cetaceans, all types of elephants, rhinoceros, hippopotamus, manatees, dugongs, and apes (chimpanzees, bonobos, orangutans, gorillas).
2. Penalties for violating these rights shall be the same as Section 4 of Cetacean Rights Act of 2015.  In the instance of a non-human person being held in imprisonment in present circumstances, violators shall have six months to comply and must cease related trade immediately.



I sign this bill into law, x Ebowed.  We are working on negotations to rescue the only orca kept in captive isolation in North America from Marineland in Ontario, and we have a lot further work to do in our field of protecting the planet's threatened cetaceans.  Today we acknowledge an even greater burden but accept it with pride and enthusiasm.  I can only hope that the Pacific accomplishes more in the days ahead, and I hope that our Council elections will provide some clarity in this era of confusion.
12  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Atlas Fantasy Elections / Re: Pacific Movement for Radical Change (PA-MRC) on: June 22, 2015, 09:53:07 pm
With the Governor currently in jail and deposed in a sense, can any orders or decisions made by him be considered to be legally-binding or constitutional?

No, and the Pacific government understands that only directives of the Chief Judicial Office are to be observed at this time of the Governor's incapacitation.

Simfan is in charge. Submit to the rightful authority of this region. We're not gonna have a coup of a lawfully elected official in Atlasia.

I suggest you stop watching Fox News.
13  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Atlas Fantasy Elections / Re: Pacific Movement for Radical Change (PA-MRC) on: June 22, 2015, 09:13:12 pm
With the Governor currently in jail and deposed in a sense, can any orders or decisions made by him be considered to be legally-binding or constitutional?

No, and the Pacific government understands that only directives of the Chief Judicial Office are to be observed at this time of the Governor's incapacitation.
14  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Atlas Fantasy Elections / Re: Governor Simfan did not and cannot fire CJO Ebowed on: June 22, 2015, 09:11:31 pm
Yes, currently Governor Simfan is imprisoned, enjoying leisurely comforts and the generally peaceful nature of Pacific incarceration.  I understand that the Pacific sentiment is very strong and indeed some would say that the Governor's crimes warrant execution but I will stand firmly against any state imposed punishment of this sort.  I hope that I can work towards a fair and reasonable solution so that the People's will be adequately reflected.
15  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Atlas Fantasy Elections / Re: Pacific Movement for Radical Change (PA-MRC) on: June 22, 2015, 08:46:36 pm
Important Update from Pacific CJO
"The federal government appears likely to determine that the gubernatorial contest was improperly scheduled at this time.  Please continue to vote in the council elections and please do not edit your vote if you have already voted.  Thank you."
16  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Regional Governments / Re: Pacific - Emergency Legislative Proposals on: June 22, 2015, 08:40:32 pm
To anyone who seeks to end our legitimate June Council elections, I say: stand not in the way of democracy, and let the People choose their representation.
17  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Atlas Fantasy Elections / Re: Solidarity with Simfan on: June 22, 2015, 07:58:59 pm
Free Simfan!  Elbowed's communist coup must be stopped!

I don't know where you got the idea that our platform is communist, cynyc, but I can assure you that my modest proposals are only a beginner's attempt to start to remedy the wounds inflicted by the oligarchy upon our fair People.  Far be it from a coup as the Council, once elected, will have the power to amend or repeal any of my laws should they see fit.  I would obviously recommend against it!

You called your policies "Cultural Marxism" yourself.  Karl Marx was a communist.  How it is a stretch to think that your platform isn't communist?  Stealing wages from workers because they may what you deem to be too much is inherently communist.

Cultural Marxism has little to do with economic policy.  Our platform is not expressly communist; but I will concede that it is atypical to find an agenda so in tune with the goals of the common worker.
18  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / 2016 U.S. Presidential Election / Re: Romney shows courage, Santorum cops out on: June 22, 2015, 07:56:01 pm
Well, based on this, it looks like Romney will crush Santorum for the 2012 GOP nomination.
19  General Politics / U.S. General Discussion / Re: Supreme Court rules with Raisin Farmers, Against USDA Program on: June 22, 2015, 07:54:45 pm
Quote
The Hornes objected to the application of the law to the raisin market. Each year, a certain proportion of the crop is set aside in order to maintain price stability.

The leftover raisins are then used for government programs, such as school lunches. Farmers can receive compensation if any funds are left over.

This looked like a great program.
20  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Atlas Fantasy Elections / Re: Pacific Movement for Radical Change (PA-MRC) on: June 22, 2015, 06:09:25 pm
Thank you, Senator, for that wonderful flag.  It has been adopted as the official Regional flag of the Pacific, and so let us all take a moment to reflect upon the struggles of our People as we work towards a better, more equitable future.
21  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Atlas Fantasy Elections / Re: Solidarity with Simfan on: June 22, 2015, 06:07:35 pm
Free Simfan!  Elbowed's communist coup must be stopped!

I don't know where you got the idea that our platform is communist, cynyc, but I can assure you that my modest proposals are only a beginner's attempt to start to remedy the wounds inflicted by the oligarchy upon our fair People.  Far be it from a coup as the Council, once elected, will have the power to amend or repeal any of my laws should they see fit.  I would obviously recommend against it!
22  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Regional Governments / Re: Pacific - Emergency Legislative Proposals on: June 22, 2015, 05:59:57 pm
Thanks to Turkisblau and the PA-MRC for our beautiful new Regional flag!



We are frightened and saddened to learn of a threat of right-wing anti-solidarity terrorism from rebels sympathetic to Governor Simfan.  We deplore these threats and we deplore all violence, for as a united movement for the People, we advocate a peaceful and tolerant society.  We are monitoring threats received closely while also hoping that our lawful election will provide the Pacific with the legislative council that it so desperately needs.

To those terrorists who would wish harm upon our united Pacific, I say this: you may intimidate us, but you will never destroy us.  You will not succeed in implementing your radical anti-worker agenda.  You will not succeed in taking away the rights of our People, for the People stand behind the Pacific Movement for Radical Change.  The People stand behind our Cultural Marxism.  The People stand behind me and my actions.  The People will be heard!
23  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Atlas Fantasy Elections / Re: Solidarity with Simfan on: June 21, 2015, 07:32:51 pm
I will travel to join the protest and for my safety will be disguised as a pumpkin.

If found, you will be deported from the Pacific Region immediately.  (If not eaten first, our riot police love pumpkins.)
24  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Regional Governments / Re: Pacific - Emergency Legislative Proposals on: June 21, 2015, 07:15:17 pm
Cetacean Rights Act of 2015

1. All cetaceans within the Pacific Region shall henceforth be protected as non-human persons, entitling them to the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
2. Owners of entertainment or other venues currently holding cetaceans imprisoned will have up to 12 months to comply with the stipulations of this act, immediately upon becoming law.
3. Persons found to be in violation of section 2 will be fined a maximum of $99,000 and/or imprisoned as a zoo exhibit for a maximum of 5 years.
4. Persons found to be in violation of section 1 (including mistreatment, intended harm, or murder of a cetacean, or involvement in smuggle or trade of cetacean-made products) will be fined a maximum of $148,500 and/or imprisoned as a zoo exhibit for a maximum of 7 years.
5. An exemption shall remain in place for Alaskan natives, subject to review in five years.
a. A community outreach program will be established to work with Alaskan natives to attempt to reduce and ultimately work towards a practicable conclusion to ending exploitative practices towards cetaceans.



Having been exposed to the plight of our exploited whales and dolphins has sickened us as a people.  Therefore, today, we establish the rights of all cetaceans in an effort to end the cruel and unjust practices of SeaWorld and other attractions as soon as is practicable.  We still have a longer journey ahead of us in protecting the creatures we share our Region and our planet with.  Today, we have made a small but significant step towards ensuring that the plight of the voiceless is no longer neglected.  I sign this bill into law, x Ebowed.
25  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Regional Governments / Re: Pacific - Emergency Legislative Proposals on: June 21, 2015, 06:54:42 pm
My Visit to Bakersfield



Well that was a blast!  Mayor Andrew Lloyd Herpes threatened to arrest me and anybody sympathetic to PA-MRC.  But when I arrived in Bakersfield, I was greeted with open arms as a liberator.

After a friendly town picnic of avocado sandwiches and vegan muffins (3 flavors!), we all shook hands and agreed to move forward, together, to advance the cause of the Pacific people as a united brotherhood.

We are all so grateful to the people of Bakersfield, and likewise they to us; for today, we have shown that the Pacific government can function once and for all.  It is with great pleasure that I have accepted re-appointment as CJO and sworn in for my next term.  Let us all work collectively to make the Pacific great once again!
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