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1  General Discussion / History / Re: Calvin Coolidge, champion of African Americans on: March 27, 2015, 06:00:18 am
For a minute I was worried this said "Calvin Coolidge, champion of the poor."

Yes, Coolidge attempted to stop lynchings. The GOP had a vastly better civil rights record than the Democrats until about 1948. And yet, Republican Presidents after Hayes generally tolerated the horrid 1876 compromise and took few actions to oppose Jim Crow.

Tell that to members of "radical labor unions."

And before someone blurts out "but muh Teddy Roosevelt!" Please read some Debs and find out how much of a snake that man really was.
2  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: I Just Want To Be Dead on: March 26, 2015, 02:41:12 pm
My advice?

Get a Netflix subscription and watch all eleven seasons of Cheers.
3  General Politics / Individual Politics / Re: Opinion of this Image III on: March 26, 2015, 08:55:03 am
This picture has turned me into TNF.
4  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Downdate I: The Saga Begins on: March 26, 2015, 05:27:06 am
Also, somebody died last night in a mobile home in Sand Springs after the roof collapsed on them during a tornadic storm.  Let us have a moment of silence as we mourn the loss of affordable housing in America.
5  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Downdate I: The Saga Begins on: March 26, 2015, 05:21:32 am
Also, friends and relatives advise against cheap places to live, noting that such places are usually ghetto.  However, expensive places filled much with rich white asshole.  Please advise.

"Ghetto" is of course prejudiced BS, even if it served as a practical safety tip in 1980 it was still super sh*tty and is certainly not worth paying attention to today in an age of low and falling crime.  I'd pay it no mind.

Though there of course is the risk that if you move into a cheap enough place *you* become the rich asshole, and is that what you want to be?

My stock answer is of course "move to one of Philly/Pittsburgh/Baltimore" but I imagine that's not super helpful in your situation.

So are you saying I should become an innercity urbanite and avoid lame suburbs?

Wow, that's actually really good advice.

I can't imagine where I would be in my house search if I didn't hear this.  Thank you my friend, I will strongly consider this when I am looking at Zillow.com for places to rent when my lease at my overpriced apartment is up.

Thank goodness I have an openmind and can take honest advice!

I can tell from your completely non-sarcastic reply that I've opened your mind up to a whole new world!  You're oh so very welcome!

(Seriously, hope things are alright for you out there.)

No actually this is good advice and should be kept on here for future posterity.  My tone was largely an anti-parody of a well known entity on the forum

(Back into troll mode)

I have the opportunity to come in early and get some valuable work done.  I woke up around 4:30 needing to address a pending bodily function.  It is currently 5:16.  The office opens at 5:30 but most people don't bother coming in until about 7.  However, I could spend the next couple of hours watching Netflix or having a somewhat brief relaxation.  What should I do?
6  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Downdate I: The Saga Begins on: March 25, 2015, 10:33:54 pm
Also, friends and relatives advise against cheap places to live, noting that such places are usually ghetto.  However, expensive places filled much with rich white asshole.  Please advise.

"Ghetto" is of course prejudiced BS, even if it served as a practical safety tip in 1980 it was still super sh*tty and is certainly not worth paying attention to today in an age of low and falling crime.  I'd pay it no mind.

Though there of course is the risk that if you move into a cheap enough place *you* become the rich asshole, and is that what you want to be?

My stock answer is of course "move to one of Philly/Pittsburgh/Baltimore" but I imagine that's not super helpful in your situation.

So are you saying I should become an innercity urbanite and avoid lame suburbs?

Wow, that's actually really good advice.

I can't imagine where I would be in my house search if I didn't hear this.  Thank you my friend, I will strongly consider this when I am looking at Zillow.com for places to rent when my lease at my overpriced apartment is up.

Thank goodness I have an openmind and can take honest advice!
7  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Downdate I: The Saga Begins on: March 25, 2015, 09:48:26 pm
Also, friends and relatives advise against cheap places to live, noting that such places are usually ghetto.  However, expensive places filled much with rich white asshole.  Please advise.
8  Forum Community / Forum Community / Downdate I: The Saga Begins on: March 25, 2015, 09:37:32 pm
Today in Moore, Oklahoma, an F1 tornado touched down in the middle of a busy street and proceeded to destroy a dozen or so powerlines, renovate a 7/11 that was opened in 1985, and remind everyone still living in Moore, Oklahoma that they still are a bunch of Morons.

More to come.
9  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Most Ideologically Opposed Board Members of the Same Party on: March 25, 2015, 07:03:50 am
Hifly and WalterMitty offer an amusing display of contrasts.

As far as Greens are concerned, it is very easy to see the contrast between the right-greens and left-greens, a division that upends most of the green movement.

Stop being so divisive, you Greenorpratist interloper!
10  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: The Joe Republic Bureau of Funny Post Archival on: March 24, 2015, 06:30:41 pm
I thought this was hilarious for some reason:

Very good, but a lot of his posts are way, way too long.

No one reads those rants. Still a solid FF
11  General Discussion / Alternative History / Re: The Devil's Parliament: An Alternate Reality UK Parliament TL by Mechaman on: March 24, 2015, 06:28:53 pm
Gannon's London Apartment
May 5th, 1979:


Arthur and Selicia Gannon are settling into their new London apartment while unpacking some of Arthur's things from their old residence.  Due to a concern about his image among common people, Arthur Gannon refused assistance from his father to send some of the house staff to help them move.  Instead, he and his friend Eric Langshaer, who introduced Selicia to him a few years back, were doing the heavy lifting.  On his way up to his apartment he had successfully introduced himself to maybe half a dozen people, even getting some telephone numbers so that he and his wife could have some people to do things with outside of the high life crowd.
He could not wait to get started.
Sitting down behind his personal desk to get a moment of rest, his wife laughed at him, holding her belly.
Selicia: Not used to working with your hands?
Arthur laughs.
Gannon: Yeah you could say that again!  Just think, ten more days till Parliament convenes!  That means we have ten days to do whatever we like, right here in London!
Selicia beams.  Call her a stupid stereotypical American or what have you, but she loved London and enjoyed the many things the city had to offer.
Gannon pulls out a dusted over picture of his grandfather, Theodore Jenks Gannon, and blows the dust off of it (or he at least tries to, there was like an armor of dust on it), settling it on the desk.  The profile on the photo was that of a modest looking man with a distinct looking moustache, carefully prepared jet black hair, and in one of Talley's finest suit jackets.
Theodore Jenks Gannon, himself a longtime Tory politician (the former Mayor of London at one point), was a figure greatly admired by the younger Gannon.  "Grandpa Ted", as he was affectionately known, had instilled in both his boy and his grandboys the importance of duty and service to the public from a very young age.  He had passed away when Art as just a young boy of 9, far too soon and with much more to be learned.
Gannon put his feet up on his desk, something that his affluent parents would demean as "uncouth" and give him a good talking to (if not licking) for having such audacity.  But right now?  In this new and dare he say sweet new "pad"?  Hell yeah let's kick back.
He turns on the tv to an episode of Fawlty Towers.
Selicia: Oh not this show again.  I don't get you Brits and your humor.
He turns towards her, noting.
Gannon: For the record, it is "humour".  With a "u", thank very much please.
Selicia: I'm sorry but this guy just seems like a real asshole.  What is his problem?
Gannon: Well you see my dear, that is part of the humour.  Again, with a "u" for emphasis so that it rolls off of ze tongue.
Selicia laughs as she comes over and parks herself on Gannon's lap.
Selicia: You're insufferable, you know that?
Gannon pecks her and moves his arms around her big pregnant belly.
Gannon: Umm, mi Corazon!  You are making me feel like such a big boy!
Selicia gives him a disgusted look.
Selicia: My gosh, is all you ever think about is sex?  We don't have much longer to do this, ya know?
Gannon starts doing some naughty things that can't be described here with his right hand and then playfully bites his wife's ear.
Gannon: What can I say?  The fatter the cushion. .  .  . . .. oh yeah.
She gets off of him and starts walking toward their small as hell bedroom (Arthur just had to move into one of the cheaper apartments, to show that he was committed to a consistent theme of fiscal conservatism as well as to make him appeal to the common man), taking off her bits of clothing.  Like a starving dog, Gannon runs after her, so excited that he practically jumps through the door and closes it behind him.

[End Sexy Discretion Shot Scene]

Thirty Minutes later
The Bedroom:


Gannon is laying in bed with his pregnant wife, who he just did the nasty nasty with.
Boy you got issues, you guys keep doing it much longer your kid might end up awfully confused.
He turns over to his wife.
Gannon: Was that good for you?
Selicia: It was okay.  So, what do you think about the Chambers coming over this week?
Damn it woman, let us access my athletic ability and stamina first before we go over the minutia of who is coming over or what have you.
Gannon: Umm fine, okay.
Selicia: Damn it Art, are you even listening?  I talked to you about this a week ago!
Details, details.  Here's to hoping that whoever is in there takes more after the dad.  Not to throw in a self-endorsement deal in there or anything.
Gannon: Right yes, the Chambers.  Let them in got it.
Selicia: Look, I know you and Melissa don't get along just real well.
Melissa Chambers was Selicia's childhood friend who somehow ended up connecting up with her in London in graduate school.  She was also one of the most shrill and irritating people he had ever met.  A liberal American Democrat, she always comes into a room assuming that everything she thinks is right and what everyone else thinks is wrong.  Mention that you think that taxes should be lowered on rich people or that maybe some anti-abortion people make good points and be prepared to hear a scathing damnation of any and everybody who agrees with those viewpoints.
And she didn't even look really attractive either.  She looked like a freaking librarian.  No, not like the Sexy Librarian in some of those illicit movies you can rent from those x-rated stores.  I mean an actual librarian.
And she is what?  28 years old?  Dear father, please spare us all from that kind of sad fate.
Her husband was Daniel Chambers.  There wasn't really anything despicable about the man.  If anything he seemed to be one of the most pitiful creatures on this green earth.  Weak willed, stammering, rail thin (it would shock Gannon if the man was over 110 lbs), and with a creepy large pair of glasses he seemed to be the perfect counterpart for Beezlebub in the flesh.  Daniel and Melissa had met and married back in the states when the both met at Duke University.  It was quite easy to see who wore the pants in the relationship. I'll give you a hint: NOT FREAKING DANIEL.
Dinner conversations with those two almost always were guaranteed to turn out awkward.  Because dear lord, where to begin?  Let's just hope that Melissa doesn't start talking about Ted Kennedy again.  I mean really, you would think she was married to the guy or something.
Gannon: What gave it away, my dear?
Selicia: I really don't appreciate your sarcasm.  Melissa is a very good friend of mine.
Gannon: I just do not understand it Selicia.  I mean, weren't you a Republican back in the states?
Selicia: Well yeah but-
Gannon: Well then how the hell did you put up with someone who thought you were Satan Incarnate?
Selicia: Well, her politics developed a little later in life.  Like, after we moved apart and before we both ended up here.  Before then she was a bit more bearable on politics.
Gannon: I'm sorry, it's just that she just seems so rude, so overbearing, and I wonder how Daniel gets himself into bed with that. .  . . . . creature.
Selicia laughs.
Selicia: Well obviously, he takes the pants off!
Both of them laugh very very hard.
Selicia: No kidding!  Explains a lot!
Selicia leans her head against Gannon's shoulder in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. 
Gannon: Well, look like we're off to a right good start here, aren't we?  Strong mandate at the polls, decisive Conservative victory, me in London.
Selicia: Do you always have to bring politics into this?
Gannon: I am a public servant now.  It is part of my nature.
Selicia: Just seems so silly.  There are like 700 other people-
Gannon: 649 others.
Selicia: Okay, 649 others.  Let them worry about politics.
Gannon: It's just right now we got so much promise.  I hope it is not all wasted away this time.  We had to fight like hell to get the rates lowered to 78%.  I don't want to be pessimistic, but Labour seems too unyielding to make progress possible.  "That's too expensive?  Well just nationalize it good old chap?  Nationalize this, nationalize that, nationalize nationalize nationalize."  I hope your bloody liberal friends like that.
Selicia chuckles.
Selicia: Having the ability to advocate for nationalization without being called a Communist?  Oh sure they would.  They all expect everything to be free.
Gannon: Life is not about getting things for free, sadly.  Everything has a cost and everything has an expenditure.
Selicia: You know, all of this talk about fiscal responsibility?  Yeah it's not doing it for me.  Just saying.
Gannon gives out a sigh of disgust.
Gannon: Sheesh!  Is sex the only thing you think about!?
12  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Opinion of Mechaman on: March 24, 2015, 10:10:23 am
Very good poster certainly, although I don't completely agree with some of his interpretations of history and sometimes his "New England Irishphobic Puritan Republican Federalists" type posts get a bit repetitive.

And yeah you really should not agree with my interpretation of history.  It is pretty insane.
13  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Opinion of phwezer on: March 24, 2015, 05:22:46 am
I won't go quite as far as saying he's The Worst, but my opinion of him ain't high.

Yes definitely.  It pales in comparison to what he thinks of himself.
14  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Opinion of Mechaman on: March 24, 2015, 05:13:08 am
Well, he got a temp ban solely for the sake of trolling lil ol' me, so I'm kind of obligated to vote FF for the flattery. His posts tend to be pretty good and informative too.

Don't mention it.

I thought the act was pretty obvious, but I do admit it was fun.  Over time I have come to appreciate your Ready5Hillary act a lot even if I disagree with you haha.
15  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Opinion of Mechaman on: March 24, 2015, 04:59:21 am
Very good poster certainly, although I don't completely agree with some of his interpretations of history and sometimes his "New England Irishphobic Puritan Republican Federalists" type posts get a bit repetitive.

Granted.

I do admit on the subject I do have a bit of a chip my shoulder.  This might not seem the way to others but all too often I feel like a lot of people act like the only reason our ancestors were strongly Democratic was because they hated blacks (see blatant example here: http://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=204846.msg4444968#msg4444968 which as far as I am concerned is barely masked bigotry under the guise and excuse of historical facts ) and not because they lived in areas populated by people who literally viewed them as vermin (and further, as has been noted by me several times earlier, the Irish were voting heavily Democratic (and extra emphasis on the word "heavily") since the times of Jefferson, it was not some thing that happened because of the Civil War draft).  It is almost as if the several hundred years of anti-Celtic prejudice, both in the Great Britain and in the largely Anglo and protestant parts of the colonies, suddenly vanished overnight when America became a country.  Given how often the former is stressed by ill educated people I find it necessary to bring this up whenever it is applicable.

The point is largely that the point of history is to learn from it, not to defend it.  The guys who "freed the slaves" were no saints just like many of the anti-Chinese Irish railroad workers in the west were no saints.  I guess I just feel that when actually examining the past and considering the issues many perceive New England Federalists, Whigs, and Republicans to somehow be faultless and good moral people just because they opposed slavery (so did the British Empire. . . . . ).  They tend to leave out things like the repeatedly mentioned anti-Irish bigotry, the anti-Jewish bigotry (of which even I don't cover as much as I should), the anti-Italian bigotry, the anti-Polish bigotry, hell most anti-ethnic white bigotry, the classism, support for what basically amounted to protestant supremacy in the form of moralistic legislation, the support for regressive tax and tariff policies with the main intent to fatten the pocketbooks of robber barons, as well as the indifference and cruelty of the Protestant Work Ethic TM to actually address issues like wage slavery and living conditions in the poor neighborhoods of urban areas.

The goal of modern liberalism should be to learn from those past mistakes and use those lessons to advance a more egalitarian and equal society.  We should no longer have to choose between racists and elitists.  We should no longer have to choose between moralists and corrupt urban bosses.  We should no longer have to choose between slavers and bankers.  The people of the past need no defense, they were extremely flawed people.  Which is why you often hear such clichés as "judge them in the context of their times!" even by far left people like myself (though I generally believe that the more accurate saying would be "judge them in the context of where you would be in the times").  People often act like when talking about the past one side has to be completely right.  Well, especially in the case of American History, this is wrong.  Winning the Civil War didn't prevent the GOP from being blamed for the Great Depression.  Being on the side of the "common man" didn't prevent the Democrats from being on the wrong side of the Civil War.  And etcetera etcetera.

And further, the lesson from the bigotry of the New England elites, which is largely whitewashed to protect the agenda of financial elitists and others, is that racism goes far beyond skin color and is more about the dominance and privilege of elite groups (this is also very true of the Southern planters and their slaves).  In other words, knowledge of such history is knowledge of exactly why elitism (which is openly embraced by many Democrats nowadays without any knowledge or care of the roots of cultural elitism in the country) is horrible and the party needs to embrace more economic populism (note, I mean that as in being advocates of the poor, not "muh fiscally liberal and socially conservative") to advance a liberal agenda.

I make no apologies, just like a Jew makes no apologies for bashing Hitler.
16  General Politics / Individual Politics / Re: What ideological labels would you use to describe your politics? on: March 23, 2015, 08:05:59 pm
Criminal Scum
17  General Discussion / Alternative History / Re: The Devil's Parliament: An Alternate Reality UK Parliament TL by Mechaman on: March 23, 2015, 02:08:30 pm
IS Gannon the leader of the conservatives?

No he is a freshman MP, elected in the Thatcher wave.
18  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Opinion of Mechaman on: March 23, 2015, 05:44:46 am
Obviously a super HP and I really don't know how this is close.

I mean let us consider what the Mechaman has actually said on this forum:
  • Racist paddies who lynched black people deserve our sympathy from a historical perspective largely because they were poor and starving and "victims" of capitalism while the brave industrialists who helped fund the persecution of the Confederacy all the way to the end do not.  In fact, they deserved to be hated largely because they were a hypocritical class who made many people work and starve to death.
  • Organized crime and political machinery are the natural results of clauses found in the previous point, as well as a reaction against a moralistic Puritanical regime in the highest echelons of power and influence that went out of their way to persecute the poor and the unprivileged.  See, it is not really the fault of the criminals themselves, it is society's fault!  Seriously, what a shameless libertine bastard this man is.
  • Jokes pretty openly about how he likes pre-ops and tried to claim he is not a closet case because they have "breasts" or some sh*t.  I mean this is the 21st century and we are all enlightened people, but come on obvious closet case is obvious.
  • His timelines are full of people who seem to be overwhelmingly racist, homophobic, sexist, and just all around sh*theads.  I mean yes, he is depicting people in the privacy of their own homes and conference rooms, but please a little PC Mechaman?  Not to mention that his character driven timelines seem to include a ludicrous gibbs amount of sexual innuendoes, references to sexual activity, and a lot of the women in them seem proud of their bodies and okay with sleeping with dudes.  This alone should be an easy HP vote.
  • Gets on here regularly, sh*tfaced, and makes love songs to people.  Namely Teddy and Inks, both of which are no longer with us.  I would like to think that Mechaman's traumatizing attacks on them had something to do with it.
  • Going back to point one, regularly touts his supposed "Irishness" (come on Mecha, really?  How Irish are you?  What's that last name of yours again?  Ha yeah right!) as a reason why he would not be a huge fan of the Federalist, the Whigs, and even the Republican party.  Really seems like a cop out to vote for a bunch of black hating racists if he lived in the 19th century, just my personal two cents.  Not a surprise given that a lot of historical rants seem to be more about how the "enlightened" (word almost always put into quotation marks to indicate that he is mocking the word) northern industrialists totally ignored the conditions many white ethnic faced while being truthfully concerned about the exploitation of blacks in the South.  Truth is, anyone who is a true anti-racist and a fan of equality should not ever vote Democratic, regardless of the cynical falsehoods that Mechaman and others try to sell on people.
  • Going further off of that last note, he seems to go out of his way to defend the previously mentioned states rights and small government activists were somehow to the left of the parties of tariffs and industry.  Now granted, this is a contrived troll act and by now I am contradicting some earlier key aspects of this character, but what people thought was "liberal" or "conservative" back then really should not matter.  What matters is who was right and who was wrong.  And frankly, government intervention is a fundamentally liberal concept with the idea of improving society and results are also left wing, so he is just being an idiot loser.
  • Regardless of how many political shifts he has experienced on here, he seems to laugh in the face of polite language and manners.  He says the f word and the s word almost without abandon (despite promising Dave Leip he would stop) and he says ethnic and homophobic slurs like it's not a big deal.  Of course he could defend himself on this latter note, noting that he is writing these words in educational threads and in alternate history timelines, but really it seems to be an inner white middle upper class need to call something a racial slur and get away with it.  To make matters worse he often gangs up on people for calling out others for using mean words, which suggests that he realizes what he is doing is wrong and is so adamant in defending himself and others of the obvious aggression they are causing others that he ends up mocking those he wishes to "correct" (sorry couldn't resist).
  • And despite his left wing political shift, he seems to beat up more upon rich and affluent liberals more so than he does conservatives!  Of course he could claim that he is only doing this because everyone else on the forum beats up rich conservatives so it is unnecessary for him to do so and something yada yada class consciousness, but at the end of the day he seems hell bent on attacking New Democrats and other establishment Democratic types than he does addressing the far right Tea Party and other elements of the Republican Party.  Seems a lot closer to a mypalfish than it does to a genuine socialist, don't you think?  A real socialist would at least support Hillary Clinton, realizing that in this political system to do otherwise is a waste effort that only emboldens the money men.
  • His mocking of any and all decent moral standards is also condemnable.  Regardless of your political position crime should be seen as crime.  Mechaman doesn't think so.  IN fact, in his world crime seems to be almost an act of self defense from the working class against the rich "elitists" (whoever the hell that may be) and that sex is something that the government should stay out of entirely unless it involves someone getting it who does not want it.  He goes even further to state that if a man receives anal sex he is not gay (again going back to the part about trans porn, he seems to be coming up with excuses to get away with his very obvious closet gayness) if it is being done by a woman or even a dude.  Supposedly sexual orientation is not about what you like being done to you, but about your personal and emotional connection to the person who is doing it!  I mean really, OUTRAGE!  NEXT THING YOU KNOW HE WILL SAY THAT CATS SHOULD HAVE SEX WITH DOGS OR SOMETHING!

With that stated, super solid Horrible Person right here.  By virtually most standards on this forum.

People who voted FF need to really access their priorities.  I mean really.
19  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Make an Epithet for the Previous Poster on: March 23, 2015, 05:13:40 am
Shua, Master of the Art of Contrarianism
20  General Politics / Individual Politics / Re: Summary of political beliefs on: March 23, 2015, 05:10:09 am
Ideology: Social Ecologist/Green Anarchist/Georgist, or something or other

Social Policy:
Abortion: The right to one's own body is a fundamental human right.  I support abortion up to the date of birth, with funding provided by a universal healthcare system.
Marriage: The institution is a joke.  Get rid of government recognition of this outdated social construct and let people sort it out on their own.
Drugs: The War on Drugs is the new Jim Crow.  It has put millions and millions of poor and minority Americans into prison and left many families fatherless and motherless.  The results of the War on Drugs is far worse than the alternative reality where we did nothing at all to address drug addiction, leaving us with a yearly bill in the hundreds of billions if not trillions in government welfare expenditures to maintain a stigmatized underclass that cannot find decent paying jobs to live off of.  I support the immediate end of the War on Drugs with no hesitation or gradualism and the replacement of the punitive clauses of it with an emphasis on free drug rehabilitation treatment for those who seek it.  Those who choose a life of drugs, being fully aware of the consequences of such from years of public education and health and safety campaigning, should be allowed to do so.
I take the same view of alcohol, soda, tobacco, and many other "vices" that the modern day Puritan movement want to strongly regulate to death.
Stem Cell Research: This issue is so 1999, but support.  Whatever helps us get more sciency and advanced with our medicine the better.
Death Penalty: Obviously immoral.  I don't really think there is much more that needs to be said here.
Gun control: Generally not a fan of it, but I am not really a fan of the American gun culture either.  The idea that one needs a gun to feel free is a very concerning one.  I feel, however, that most efforts to regulate guns will fail pretty hard simply due to the number of guns on the streets and I feel very wary of giving the State (especially as it is) a monopoly on firepower.  Correcting the root causes of social inequality would do a lot more to correct the problem of gun violence and ultimately the paranoid gun culture than half arsed attempts at regulating ownership would (I know I know IT WORKS IN EUROPE! doesn't necessarily mean it will work here).
Affirmative Action: I would say keep it, but my position on public education would make it necessary.  However, if we exclude my support of nationalization of college campuses, I believe that Affirmative Action needs to be reworked to change the focus to those of low income rather than ethnic origins.  I believe this would still allow many disadvantaged non-whites to pursue college degrees and professional jobs while also allowing many often overlooked poor whites to do the same.  The poor are poor, regardless of their race.
Prostitution: Full bloody legalization. In the 19th century Prostitution was actually one of the best paying and safest (I know, shocking) jobs for women of the era.  Then the freaking "Progressives" came in and changed all of that by stigmatizing prostitution as some sort of mad dog social ailment and thus helped lead the crusade to ban it in the vast majority of US States.  Ever since then women in such positions now find themselves the pawns of violent and abuses Johns who rob them of a good amount of their earnings.  There is nothing inherently wrong with making an earning via sexual intercourse, as long as it is consensual.
Euthanasia: Again, a person has a right to their own body.  If they choose to take their own life, that is their choice.  Oh sure, I do support funding for anti-suicide programs and other measures, but if someone willingly wants to end it for good, we shouldn't have punitive laws in place that punishes them if they fail or their kin if they succeed.  Rather than having a society that prefers to hang themselves from their closet hangers or cut their throat open and leaving their master kitchen a bloody mess, howse about we at least give them a relatively clean and safe medical process?  Just a thought.

Economic Issues:
Minimum Wage:
Obviously I support raising it.  However, we must be very smart with how we pursue this.  In the current system we operate under a blanket raise to $15/hr would be unwise.  And really, let us not ignore the overall problem of the Cost of Living that is causing us every few years to consider raising the wage.  Rather, I would support a Guaranteed Income for all households matching the number of dependents reliant on that income for food, water, and shelter.  If we wage a few less wars this would be very easy to afford.  Other than that, in regards to wage work, I would support any efforts (even including tax credits for small businesses) to increase the minimum wage to a level to provide not just a survivable but comfortable living for most people.
Welfare: See my previous post on the Guaranteed Income.  This would be given to all Americans to provide basic survival (food, water, shelter) for themselves and their families.  Right now programs like Medicare and Medicaid work fine, but will become redundant if we adopt a Single Payer Healthcare system.
"Right-to-work" Fundamentally fascistic laws passed to stifle the influence of the working man in this country.  Anybody should have the right to join/form a union if they want to, regardless of what their boss(es) might think.  This is not a socialistic/communistic issue, this is an issue of liberty.  And when workers cannot organize in the workplace we might as well be back in the Gilded Age.
Taxation: Land Use Taxation now.  The ownership of land is a crime against the earth.  As such we should recognize it as such with 100% taxation of it (payable by those with the means to do so).  Ideally, this should replace all other forms of taxation as the most ideal way to combat real societal inequality.  The taxation of income, even the "progressive" system we have in the US, does very little to nothing to combat the wealth gap and even encourages it by the economic model of Capitalism which demands the economy be run by solvent businesses.  Under a socialistic system funded by revenue from the value of the land itself, we would not have this problem.
Corporations: Should be illegal.
Healthcare: I support Single Payer obviously.  This idea that you should pay for healthcare is one of the biggest moral failings of the American experience.  Policemen don't ticket you to come to your house in response to a burglary.  Firemen don't print you an invoice after putting out a fire.  Why, oh why, should we pay thousands of dollars just for an ambulance ride!!!!!!!!?  A publicly owned and ran healthcare system might not pay their doctors hundreds of thousands of dollars, but it would save most Americans hundreds of thousands of dollars of emergency care costs as well as save them from the evil and parasitic entity known as the "Insurance Industry".  Like I noted earlier, in the event that we do have Single Payer, we should dissolve Medicare and Medicaid as those programs would no longer be necessary.
Social Security: I would support abolishing Social Security and replace it with an additional system to make payments out to those people who are unable to work (for a wide variety of reasons).  As I am no fan of the Protestant Work Ethic, I would be much in favor of including Artists, Writers, and other liberal arts types who do not rely on a regularly occurring source of income.  Ideally, wealth should be eliminated to avoid all of these convoluted program ideas.
Trade: Supportive of real free trade, which is being made a mockery of with so-called "Free Trade Agreements". Real free trade recognizes the freedom of movement for labor.  Really, what we need to do is tear down the borders and allow unlimited freedom of movement.  This would allow the labor movement unlimited access to the worldwide market and act as a liberation for the oft abused third world.
Education: We need to destroy the privilege of the Ivy League and other high cost institutions of learning.  Further, we need to destroy the mentality that everyone needs a college education just to make a survivable living (the sin for which I lay at the feet of the evil college loan industry).  Both of these can be done quite easily with full nationalization of education in this country.  This will free millions from the cycle of debt slavery as well as loosen employer perceptions of what a college education really amounts to in many positions (which is, jack sh*t).  Obviously, some subjects like Accounting, Engineering, and Medicine you need advanced education for, but why in the blue hell would you need one for welding sh*t or working on a train?
Deficits, The Debt, etc.: I think the current fetishization of the debt, both by Democrats and Republicans, is both ironic and idiotic.  For starters, that we live in a society where both parties have scores of politicians who are vying to be in the bragging spot about "Balanced Budgets" says a lot about us.  This idea that a government should be ran like a business is a dangerous one.  If government is making a profit then it is robbing the people, plain and simple.  Debt is and always will be necessary for the running of a state.
But at the same time we cannot be welcoming of excessive debt, which in most cases is oft the result of an abusive, violent, and authoritarian state that is getting off on the misfortune of others (whether that be drug addicts or oil producing nations).  I am sure that if we waged a few dozen less wars and threw a few less million people into federal penitentiary, we might be a bit closer to that budget surplus than merely raising the income tax rate five percent and then calling it a day.

More might come.
21  General Politics / U.S. General Discussion / Re: "America's anti-liberal myth" on: March 23, 2015, 03:51:38 am
There never was much to the Left in the United States. Public schools and Social Security are great things, but supporting them hardly makes one a leftist.

Mostly this.

Even George McGovern's campaign has been largely whitewashed as some sort of great left wing crusade against the fascistic Nixonians.  Truth is, the only thing that was real radical about him was his Vietnam position (ie, get out now) and his support of reducing defense spending substantially (which at the height of the Cold War, obviously very liberal).  Other than that, he was a generic drug warrior for his day who wanted to keep abortion at the state level.

So yeah, kudos to the OP article for pointing out that Mondale campaigned largely as a deficit hawk, but a few points off for acting like it was just some real recent trend for Democratic nominees to "triangulate".  That has been going on since Jefferson.
22  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: The Al Realpolitik Institute of Sulfur Mining & Extraction on: March 22, 2015, 06:42:45 pm
To all HP voters:

I have an EXPERIMENT for you all to conduct. WOOOOOO

Stop reading this and go get a pencil/pen.

Seriously, go do it.

Stop reading this.

STOP IT

STOP

STAAAAHP

OK now you've got the pencil. Or pen. Now go ahead and place it between the middle and ring fingers of your right hand (IT HAS TO BE ON THE RIGHT HAND OK JUST DO IT.) Now use your other hand to squeeze the aforementioned fingers around the pen(cil).

You might notice this REALLY HURTS and it's kinda like when your FOOT ITCHES except it's not an itch it's just PAIN and it's on your HAND. CONGRATULATIONS THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT FOR VOTING HP ON DEADFLAGBLUES.

Stolen from an episode of Zero Punctuation ORIGINAL JOKE, DO NOT STEAL



Also, if the exercise mentioned above actually gives you any pain then you have a promising career ahead of you as a huge pussy.
23  General Discussion / Alternative History / Re: The Devil's Parliament: An Alternate Reality UK Parliament TL by Mechaman on: March 22, 2015, 05:53:33 pm
Act I: Hell Hath No Fury

Two Days Later
The Daily Telegraph
"Where was O'Ronan?"


Article has a picture of O'Ronan at the rally next to a picture of the empty podium after O'Ronan had left.

After a very strong re-election victory, Dave O'Ronan shocked many political observers when he decided to skip the candidate interview in favor of a drink at the local watering hole in Leeds West.

Oh, our bad, we mean that he had "an emergency".  An emergency urge to have a few rum and cokes (his favorite) while his 17 year old niece, poor poor poor Shannon O'Ronan, took to the stage and an expletive fueled rage told journalists that her uncle "had an emergency".

Yes, this was the man that Leeds West re-elected into office with an over 10,000 vote margin and who until two nights ago was talked up in secret Labour leadership talks as the possible successor to Norman Atkinson to the position of Treasurer of the Labour Party.  The same man who had only minutes earlier aroused the crowd into a flaming passion with hopes for a better future for a much divided and shellacked party in the wake of the recent elections.

So seriously, Dave, what the hell were you thinking?  Did you at all think about the thousands of people in your constituency who had voted you in by large margins, both four years ago and a couple of days ago, when you decided to go out and get your wet on?  Did you think about the kind of impression that Labour leadership would be left with when their future Golden Boy put his hopeful night of passion with a young barmaid in front of the political futures of his party?

It is attitudes like these that have resulted in the destruction of the modern Labour Party in favor of Thatcher's Conservatives.  Already the trade unionists and other big forces in the party are calling for O'Ronan's head.  A shame for a man who just a couple of months ago was widely heralded as the future of the Labour Party and one of the figures of the party to reach out to the young of this generation.

Well Dave, just remember, Hell Hath No Fury.
24  General Discussion / Alternative History / Re: The Devil's Parliament: An Alternate Reality UK Parliament TL by Mechaman on: March 22, 2015, 05:21:40 pm
Back at the Gannon residence
About thirty minutes later:

News TV:
And now we go back to Leeds West to hear the post rally interview with the candidate, David O'Ronan.
Herbert: What the bloody hell is it with this O'Ronan character?  What makes him so big anyway?
Art looks at his dad and back at the tv.
Arthur: Well dad, the inside word is that O'Ronan is being considered as a viable alternative to Atkinson for the position of Party Treasurer.
Herbert looks shocked.
Herbert: You got to be joking!  I mean, that lad has only been in office for what, four years? Oh the rush and excitement for inexperienced men!
Arthur: Maybe dad, but Dave O'Ronan has a certain charisma with the Labour voting public as well as some strong connections with the head unions and.  . . . where is he?
The tv shows an empty podium in front of a very bright light.
TV: Ugh, maybe the candidate is a little late.
From the left of the screen a light brunette haired girl, perhaps in her late teens or early twenties (she looked fairly mature to be a teenager, but there was something about her that indicated the inexperience of youth) in a brown leather jacket and blue jeans takes the podium.
Quite lovely too, a dark and secret voice said in his head.
She begins to speak in a voice that could only be described as thoroughly Leeds.
Shannon O'Ronan: Ladies and gentlemen, my uncle had a personal emergency to deal with.  He apologizes for his absence from this rally.  He would like to thank you all for all of your hard work and wishes you well in the coming years.  Thank you for your time.
Reporter: Miss O'Ronan!  You said your uncle had an emergency!?  What of it?
The young woman on the stage throws her hands in the air very combatively.
Shannon: I don't bloody know!  He just said it was an emergency!
Arthur Gannon laughs.
Art: Crazy girl is lying through her teeth!
Selicia: You think?
Art, who had a brief career as a barrister, recognized all the signs.
Art: Her nervous body language, the rapid closing and opening of the eyes, and her strong outburst, all classic signs of a lie.
Shannon: (in response to a reporter who asked a question not heard by the Gannons) Look, I am just the man's niece, alright?  He don't feel me with all the bloody party information!  If me uncle said it's an emergency, it's an emergency!  OKay damn it!
She shoves the mic down on the podium and walks off.
The room laughs very hard.
Selicia: Well, let us hope that uncle is not like niece.
Art, who was experiencing some very complicated and dare I say impolite feelings, just mutters.
Art: Yeah, let us hope not.
Selicia looks over at him.  Art quickly closes off all emotion to his face to avoid an uncomfortable confrontation.  Selicia looks pleased.
phew, very close one.
Selicia: Lot of confidence we should have in Labour.  One of their men wins an election, doesn't even bother to show up to his own interview!  The audacity!
Herbert fills his cup with some Brandy.
Herbert: Well, I guess we all can kiss Treasurer O'Ronan goodbye.

End of Prologue
25  General Discussion / Alternative History / Re: The Devil's Parliament: An Alternate Reality UK Parliament TL by Mechaman on: March 22, 2015, 04:53:04 pm
At the Podium
Leeds West:


O'Ronan takes out the collar holder and wipes off the sweat from his face.
O'Ronan: Damn it!  Do they have to make those cameras so bright!  All I was doing was giving a victory speech, not doing a Page 4 spread!
Shannon laughs.
Shannon: A bit hot under the collar uncle?
O'Ronan: Quiet you!  By the way, where is my lady?  Where is Sharon?
Shannon: She went to the loo.
O'Ronan could not believe what he was hearing.  Here was his (somewhat) big election night, and his girlfriend went to take a shat?  I mean what in the bloody hell?  Didn't she know how much this meant to him?  Selfish tw-
That is when he feels Georgie McCarney, one of his long time school chaps and his current legal advisor, pull on his sleeve.
McCarney: Oi ya Dave!  Look at these figures we got tonight.
O'Ronan looks at the figures and gives a very non-plussed look.
O'Ronan: Bloody loaded questions these pollsters ask.  "Do you believe that Dave O'Ronan can balance the interests of multimillion dollar corporations and workers?"  What's next?  "What is Dave O'Ronan's opinion about hereditary titles?" "What is Dave O'Ronan's opinion of the Queen?  Does he think she should stuff it?"
McCarney: Wouldn't surprise me with these fockers.  Well now that the election night is over, howse about you and me get a drink?
O'Ronan laughs as he pulls out a cigarette.
O'Ronan: Drink my boy?  I'm on the bofftrain tonight.  Sharon is still a young lady.  She can't have a drunken old fat man in bed with her.
McCarney: Well you are not getting any younger or skinnier mate.  You might as well have a few drinks with us.
O'Ronan: Hey two out of three ain't bad, as that one fat American singer once said.  Whatse a'focks his name?
McCarney: Oh yes, Meat Loaf.  Me daughters love the man.  I really do not get the appeal.
O'Ronan: Focks man, you are trying to get me to drink with youse real bad!  Make me thankful that I do not have to deal with teenage girls either!
McCarney gives him a playful slap.
McCarney: Well come on old chap, make my day!
O'Ronan gives him a funny look.
O'Ronan: I feel like I heard that one before, but I can't quite place it.
McCarney looks confused.
McCarney: No mate, I totally made that one up just now.  Never been used in the history of cinema.  But it wouldn't surprise me if some American dude said it.
O'Ronan: Yes, look at us now.  Couple of Leeds boys talking like we're Clint Eastwood or some other big shot American cowboy.  You got it Georgie my boy, to the tavern!
McCarney and O'Ronan both head towards a light blue four door Beetle, driving off into the night.  O'Ronan's niece runs off after him.
Shannon: DAMN YOU UNCLE DAVE!  COME BACK!  THE RALLY IS NOT OVER YET!  FOCKING HELL!!!!
She starts kicking a trashcan that is nearby before sitting down on a nearby bench, putting her face into her hands.
Shannon: This cannot be happening right!  Arrrrrrgh!
Sharon shows up, looking very confused.
Sharon: Hey kid, where'd your uncle run off to?
Shannon looks up at her with a face of insanity.
Shannon: Ugh, I don't know!  I don't know!  He just got with Ole Georgie and the two decided to just get shitfaced because I don't know fock this rally?
Sharon: The freaking bastard!  What is it with your men and their drinks anyway?  Do they not care at all about pleasing their women!?
Shannon: Whyse it all got to be about sex with you, Sharon?  Can youse just enjoy a man's company?
Sharon laughs.
Sharon: For your information missus, I love your uncle.  I love him despite his extremely out of shape physique and his almost daily rum and coke habit!  I just wish that for once, he was there during it!  Is that too much to ask?
Shannon: Hey, don't look at me.  I'm just a girl.  You can't be saying these things around me virgin ears.  Besides, I have to meet my boy Jack in about twenty minutes anyway.
Sharon looks at her shocked.
Sharon: What the bleeding hell are you kids doing at 10:30 at night?!
Shannon looks at her, all innocent.
Shannon: Oh, I just have to help him with pants, err I mean his math.
Sharon gives her a very sarcastic look.
Sharon: Uhhuh, right!  Hey Bob!
Robert "Bob" Commons, the Labour coordinator for Leeds West, looks at her.
Commons: Yes?
Sharon: Where is the nearest tavern?
Commons: Just right over there.
Sharon laughs.
Sharon: Bleeding idiots!  They got into that Beetle. . . . . for that!?
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