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76  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: The Joe Republic Bureau of Funny Post Archival on: April 13, 2015, 03:44:24 pm

Uh, that thread was about as funny as having dysentery.
77  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / Election What-ifs? / Re: Dust In The Wind on: April 07, 2015, 08:38:37 am
How much does Laxalt poll in the general election.

I struggle with national numbers, but 15%.
78  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / Election What-ifs? / Re: Dust In The Wind on: April 06, 2015, 11:45:15 pm
TIME - Laxalt cannonballs
August 6th, 1988

Laxalt a boon to the WMP

The tale of the Working Man's Party has been a bit of a roller coaster. It was first formed in 1985 due to dissatisfaction with a GOP that was perceived as too moderate and out-of-touch with middle-class Americans, a demographic that President Jackson had made inroads with in his two presidential elections. Despite having limited infrastructure and bottom-tier candidates, they polled eight percent of the vote and won a Senate election in Idaho. After the defection of newly-elected Senator Mike Foster, the Working Man's Party had two Senate seats. After such success they floundered in the presidential sweepstakes: their two main contenders were a little-known State Senator from Louisiana and a former Black Panther. Polls showed WMP candidates gathering a statistically insignificant percentage of the vote in presidential match-ups.

At one juncture, the Working Man's Party looked as if it was going to be rendered obsolete. Bill Armstrong, conservative Senator from Colorado, was within striking distance of winning the Republican nomination and had just won a close contest in Iowa. His opposition was divided between the nebulous Newt Gingrich, conniving Areus Ho'kee, and milquetoast Lowell Weicker. However, Speaker Ho'kee managed a comeback in New Hampshire and eventually captured the Republican nomination. Armstrong dropped out, and his sizable cohort of supporters scattered without direction, meaning that the Working Man's Party still had a conduit of support.

Coincidentally, Senator Paul Laxalt declared for the Working Man's Party nomination halfway through the nomination process. Laxalt was nearly the Republican nominee for President in 1984, thus offering new life for the Working Man's Party. In contrast to fringe characters like David Duke and Eldridge Cleaver, Laxalt has an actual career in national politics and was nearly the nominee of a major party in the United States. If Laxalt entered the race at Davis Griffith's suggestion, then the latter is a shrewd negotiator. However, if Laxalt did so on his own volition, then it may be divine intervention on behalf of the Working Man's Party.

Laxalt clinched the Working Man's Party's nomination at their convention several days ago, with the convention picking Meldrim Thomson as his Vice Presidential candidate. A conservative firebrand and former Wallace supporter, Meldrim Thomson was elected Governor of New Hampshire numerous times and brings additional gravitas to the ticket. Polling data seems to corroborate this thesis: weeks ago, nationwide polling showed Areus Ho'kee clobbering President Bentsen by 216 electoral votes. Now, with Laxalt being the official WMP nominee, President Bentsen leads Areus Ho'kee by 147 electoral votes, despite polling well below a majority of the popular vote.

This raises a point: will the Working Man's Party exist as a continuing force in American politics, or is this merely a fad? The argument can be made that third-parties are fleeting affairs at best, usually being subsumed by one of the two major parties. Perhaps the most viable path going forward for the WMP would be to rob the Republicans of a presidential election (as they seem poised to do) and alter them to be more amenable to their terms. However, the Working Man's Party is in a unique situation: polling data shows Laxalt tied with Ho'kee in Idaho, with Bentsen in Alabama, and within striking distance in Mississippi. Perhaps the WMP is here to stay.

The Laxalt Democrat?

Ostensibly speaking, President Bentsen's anemic approval ratings would have him dead to rights in this election. However, a schism in the Republican Party has given rise to an errant and robust splinter party: the Working Man's Party. Founded by a former Republican National Chairman, this party espouses tax cuts, an aggressive foreign policy, and strong social values. Considering the primary conflict between Areus Ho'kee and Bill Armstrong, it seems intuitive to think that this party is merely a siphon on Republican-leaning voters, and will only ensure Presidnt Bentsen's reelection. However, there is a potential factor of the "Laxalt Democrat."

In 1980, President Scoop Jackson reclaimed the White House for Democrats for the first time in twenty years. Some would claim that this was inevitable, given that Republicans had held the White House for twelve consecutive years and were bogged down in the morass of economic stagnation and a foreign policy crisis. However, the ensuing campaign and results belie that premise: in several polling instances, Vice President Howard Baker was competitive in trial heats with Scoop Jackson, and was within striking distance for victory. In addition, Baker had earned a reputation as a moderate who aided Nixon's eventual downfall, and had residual goodwill from his leadership in the initial Iran hostage crisis.

However, the result of the 1980 Presidential Election was almost a 500 electoral vote blow-out. Despite being a Southerner, Vice President Baker was shut-out in every Southern state except his own Tennessee. During the Sixties and Seventies, some were writing off the Democratic Party in the Deep South, due to gains made both by Richard Nixon and on the Congressional level. However, Jackson was able to reasonate with the traditional Southern Democratic electorate by touching on issues of morality and national security. Tied up in the quicksand of the Iran hostage crisis, the latter issue alone was enough to drag Baker down into one of the worst Republican showings since the Great Depression.

This phenomenon reoccured in the 1984 Presidential Election. For several weeks, it looked as if President Jackson was a spent force and would only be serving a single term. However, with a late military victory in Tehran, the United States Army retook the city and boosted the President's approval ratings enough for a last minute victory. Where this was most visible was in the South: Jackson sustained most of his vote totals in the South. He managed to pick-off Tennessee, which Mark Hatfield did not contest, and also staved off Hatfield's last-ditch effort to make Virginia competitive.

This all begs the question: why should President Bentsen be worried about losing this constituency to the shoestring operation of the Working Man's Party?

Despite being unpopular with the general electorate, the War in Iran is still popular with a large swath of Americans. President Bentsen is generally perceived as weak on this issue amongst the hawk community, and his dithering on the issue has helped him with neither the Left nor the Right. As far as the dovish vote goes, Speaker Areus Ho'kee has more or less consolidated that bloc. However, Bentsen's national security bonafides remain unproven, and he runs the risk of having his polling numbers being drawn and quartered by absolute doves and absolute hawks.

Another factor that enabled President Jackson to win as large as he did was his mantle of populism. During the Gerald Ford administration, the politically tone-deaf supply-siders made an effort to cut top marginal rates, despite an economic recession that hit working families the hardest. The response to this was a fervently populist Democratic campaign that manifested itself in the 1978 midterms, and in the 1980 election. While Vice President Baker did well in Southern metro areas, he was swamped in poor, rural white areas. By comparison, President Bentsen signed off on a deal with Areus Ho'kee that lowered the top marginal tax rate, while raising FICA taxes, which has only added fuel to the rhetorical fire of the Working Man's Party


June 2nd, 1988


Safe Republican: >10%

Slight Republican: 4-9%

Tossup: 3% difference

Slight Democratic: 4-9%

Safe Democratic: >10%

Ho'kee vs Bentsen vs Laxalt

293 - 146 - 99
79  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / Election What-ifs? / Re: Dust In The Wind on: April 05, 2015, 01:01:42 pm
Rupture: 1988

The first round of balloting was consistent with the Working Man's Party primaries: no candidate was close to a majority. Since Eldridge Cleaver's campaign was over for practical purposes, his delegates had no stake in supporting his candidacy in the second round. To the chagrin of Duke and his cohort of supporters, Cleaver's delegates broke in favor of Laxalt, who now seemed to hold a slim majority at Thad's guesstimate. The crowd around Thad grew loud and ornery. Sentiment seemed to rest with Duke. After a few minutes, the announcer returned to the stage.

"Since the balloting process has been within the margin, we are going to refer to the delegates appointed by the Working Man's Party Committee and to those by mail-in ballot." The announcer stepped aside, and a second man approached the podium with a long sheet of paper. "On behalf of the working men in Washington, Rhode Island, and Hawaii, I am proud to announce that it is representative of them that all ten of their delegates be awarded to Paul Laxalt," he read. "Every single one? Are you f***ing kidding me?" yelled the man behind Thad. "All that work just for Laxalt to swoop in, and they hand it to him on a platter? This is a joke."

The man motioned for the crowd to be at ease. Armored guards who were on the sidelines brandished batons and most of the dissidents quieted. "Since it is still within the margin, WMP bylaws dictate that we most go to the mail-in states. With a thousand ballots mailed in, nine-hundred and seventy-two were for Laxalt, and twenty-eight were for Duke. Two delegates are awarded to Laxalt." As the announcer continued reading, the momentum of the mail-in ballots was rolling in favor of Laxalt. Duke's supporters received a buoy of hope when Mississippi was read: fourteen delegates for Duke. There had been a sufficient amount of write-ins for Patton Wyde to qualify for a delegate, but he was ineligible.

"With all delegates having been tallied, Paul Laxalt has two-hundred and forty-five delegates. David Duke has one-hundred and eighty four delegates. With fifty-seven percent, Paul Laxalt has a clear majority and is officially the Working Man's Party nominee for President of the United States." As if on cue, there was a roar from the audience. "BULLSH**! BULLSH**! BULLSH**!" said one man. "Every f***ing mail-in ballot? This is a sham!" said another. Thad felt a slug against his ribs as he was shoved aside and fell to the ground, nearly losing his recorder in the process.

After getting stepped on twice, Thad scrambled back to his feet. The announcer fled from the podium as one man threw a bottle at him and several more were trying to storm the stage. Some of the better dressed men scurried toward the door, but things quickly devolved into a free-for-all as the guards descended upon the group with batons to brutalize the dissidents into submission. In the distance, Thad saw some of the announcers and other party figures scurrying into a room. Christian Mattingly held off two men before shutting the door. In the the midst of chaos, several guards made formation in front of the door to prevent a breach.

Thad ran toward the nearest exit as the epicenter of violence shifted toward the door where the guards were, catching several errant blows and shoves on the way. He tripped over a large object, only to turn and see that it was the body of Lawrence Ponder; either unconscious or dead. His forehead was bloodied and his eyes seemed lifeless. Thad felt pity for the man, but had no time to get bogged down trying to help him, and he finally managed to make his escape, boarding the first bus in sight.

There were only six other people on the bus, some of which were giving Thad odd looks. He looked in the rearview mirror, noticing a small cut. His ribs ached a little, and his outfit had been ruffled. Reflecting back on the melee, it had been the most combat he'd seen since Vietnam.
80  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Regional Governments / Re: NE3: Distracted Drivers Act on: April 04, 2015, 11:35:51 pm
This legislation is effective, it does cut down on deaths and injuries on roads and highways.

No it isn't.

Quote from: Stephanie Hanes
The research presented Tuesday analyzes insurance claims in four states, and compares crash numbers before and after those states passed antitexting laws. It also compares those numbers with data from neighboring states that did not have texting bans. In each of the antitexting states – Washington, Minnesota, California, and Louisiana – crash numbers either remained the same or increased. And in all four, accidents increased among drivers younger than 25 – the group most likely to text behind the wheel.

Let us, as legislators, start saving lives, not continue to endanger them.

Indeed. Let us vote down this legislation that is proven to increase traffic fatalities. We don't want more traffic fatalities, do we?
81  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Atlas Fantasy Elections / Re: Office of Governor Sawx - Come One, Come All (LG Nominated) on: April 04, 2015, 11:07:39 pm
Thank you Governor.
82  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Update XXII: Cleaning Up the Meat at [redacted]. on: April 02, 2015, 12:35:02 am
Standing up for 8 hours would be tough, but that would be far more preferable to a call center.  I am staying far away from call centers.  I will only look at a call center when every other lead has been exhausted with no fruit.
83  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Update XXII: Cleaning Up the Meat at [redacted]. on: April 01, 2015, 03:06:41 pm
lol. There is harm and foul. Whatever man. It's Papa's bank account that will suffer.

What harm is there in looking for another job while you still have a job?

Bushie, do not give up this job at [redacted].

If you quit this job after two weeks then you may as well wipe your ass with any future job application before turning it in, because that's what it'll look like anyway.
84  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Draft Joe Republic for Congress! on: March 31, 2015, 11:10:45 pm
Unrelated but back when I went to Vegas a few years ago I remember seeing this homeless guy with a sign that read "Umemployed circus clown, send me to Congress where I belong" or something to that effect.
85  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Opinion of spending $400 on a ham on: March 31, 2015, 05:13:52 pm
I'll get back on the Revolution tomorrow. I did nothing wrong at Best Buy. I don't feel bad at all. Plus, oakvale, it's Black Friday. It's no fun to be communist this weekend. I wanted to enjoy my shopping spree with the $400 ham I wanted to eat and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  If you don't like it, then shut up and let me live my life.  I am still following the challenges Marx set forth.  Yes, I had a slip up tonight, but I have not completely blown it.
86  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Regional Governments / Re: NE3: Distracted Drivers Act on: March 30, 2015, 10:50:12 pm
Oh, how will we enforce it?

As a legislator, this is a pretty important question. Laws aren't very effective (and can possibly be detrimental) if there isn't an efficient enforcement mechanism. What happened to good government?

We need to act, and we need to act now.

It's best not to let impulsion get the best of you. This is not a strawman; people literally did consider banning car radios at one point. Let's keep this in perspective.

Once drivers know and understand there is a tough distracted drivers law in effect, they will pay more attention to their driving.

Not necessarily true, and this is perhaps the biggest reason why texting-while-driving laws have been a bugbear for me.

Quote from: techdirt.com
A new study has shown that state laws banning driving while texting have not reduced accidents, and in some cases may have even resulted in more accidents. How could it have increased accidents? Because people who want to text anyway -- especially unskilled young drivers -- begin holding their phones lower to avoid detection, making it that much more difficult to control the car and be aware of their surroundings.

In other words, laws such as these potentially lead to more accidents.

As an example, in one Canadian city there were 415 tickets issued in a one year period.  It is a start.

Pardon me for being petty, but an increase in the issuance of tickets does not necessarily conclude that law enforcement is doing its job.

Several years ago there was a scandal in Cranston, RI where police officers issued an excessive amount of parking tickets due to conflicts over contracts.

And of course, ticket quotas don't exist in today's Atlasia! *wink nudge*

More specifically to your example of a Canadian city, this problem isn't unique to Atlasia.

It’s happening in cities across Canada, but Winnipeg appears to be the worst.

Police there issued 57,000 tickets in 2011. In 2012, city hall asked the police to increase their revenue from tickets by $1.4 million.

Critics say police officers are under pressure to issue a certain number of tickets.
 “I think most officers would be happy to provide a discretionary warning,” said Mike Sutherland, head of the Winnipeg Police Association. “The difficulty comes when there are significant work place consequences imposed on officers if they fail to hand out a certain number of tickets in a prescribed period of time.”

Most of us would call that a quota, but police management and city bureaucrats are reluctant to use the “Q” word.
87  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Update XXII: Cleaning Up the Meat at [redacted]. on: March 30, 2015, 06:53:40 pm

Indeed. I'm not wishing Bushie failure by any metric, but there needs to be perspective here.

Now, onto some serious relaxing!

88  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Update XXII: Cleaning Up the Meat at [redacted]. on: March 30, 2015, 04:09:43 pm
I was backreading an old season and I found this:

1.  I will see the dietitian on Wednesday, July 10, 2013 at 13:00.
2.  I will come back with the same enthusiasm for Kenya like I did last year and I do now.
3.  I will plow through the CAD and be setting things up in Fort Worth a year from now.[/quote]
89  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion / Election What-ifs? / Re: Dust In The Wind on: March 29, 2015, 12:50:08 am
Of Things to Come: 1988

Lawrence Ponder left the podium with applause that was as mild as his demeanor. "Thank you everybody. That was Lawrence Ponder, candidate for the Georgia House of Representatives, on behalf of David Duke. Next to speak is Christian Mattingly, on behalf of Senator Paul Laxalt, who could not be present today. I ask that we all give him a warm welcome, and I will yield this stage to him," said the announcer, before stepping aside.

Thad noticed a mountain of a man approach to take his place. His beard was a thicket penetrated only by the cigarette that protruded from his mouth, like a needle in a haystack. His shoulders were like pauldrons and he seemed ready to burst out of his suit. "Dallas! It's good to see you once more. Just a few short years ago, I wrote the founding manifesto of this party. Now I'm addressing it on behalf of a presidential candidate. I have to say, this is all pretty humbling.

A few years ago we were dismissed as an ego trip. As lunatics. As irrelevant. But when the dust settled from the 1986 elections, we had three Senate seats affiliated with our cause, and had eight percent of the popular vote in the 1986 midterm elections. The media went from writing us off as irrelevant to denigrating us as spoilers, as if we don't deserve to be in the race. This is a sign that our message is getting popular, my friends. But it's also a sign that this moment is crucial not to veer off into the depths of obscurity. There is a very real risk of our inclinations getting ahead of us, and I wouldn't want that to ruin our future as a viable alternative; which is why I am speaking here on behalf of Paul Laxalt.

Senator Laxalt has been a fighter on the War in Iran, even when the public opinion has gone in the other direction. Paul Laxalt has consistently voted against measures that would reduce our presence in the region, and has rightfully criticized the Bentsen administration for its dithering approach in Middle Eastern affairs. When running for the Republican nomination, Paul Laxalt promised a strong defense. Paul Laxalt has gone further than even Bill Armstrong, voting against the watered down Bentsen proposal and its nebulous concept of an 'advisory panel.' It's hard to argue that Laxalt would be weak on defense, by any perspective.

Senator Laxalt readily recognizes the structural problems that our economy faces. On one hand, it's a bizarre revisionism to suggest that we can isolate our consumer base from the rest of the world. On the other hand, there needs to be balance. A President Laxalt would restore the tariffs on Japanese exports that were waived during Bentsen's first term. However, we must also make it more productive for American auto manufacturers to do business at home. What we ought to be doing is preserving the current oil drilling regimen that President is doing, while federally arbitrating disputes between workers and auto-manufacturers, so that all parties in America can win.

Lastly, I would advise a different tack for our party than the one offered by Lawrence Ponder. I agree that a strong America is an employed America, and that our current illegal alien population is burdensome. However, real reform has to include a bare-bones method of citizenship. If these people are willing to work their knuckles to the bone, then we ought to welcome them as the next generation of entrepreneurs. I agree that we ought to strengthen our borders, but it seems awfully hypocritical of us to say that we're the freest nation in the world and then deny people a chance to make a new life here.

I don't mean to impugn my opponent's character. However, Senator Laxalt is a proven leader. Senator Laxalt has sponsored bills, and been in a deliberative federal body for over a decade. Senator Laxalt is a pragmatist, and has a true understanding of the concerns of the Working Man. I ask that the delegates tonight vote for Senator Paul Laxalt, so that our party can have some viability going into the future." Mattingly drew a mix of applause and boos, the latter presumably from Duke's supporters. Mattingly left the stage, undaunted by some of the jeering voices in the audience.

The announcer returned to the podium and demanded silence. "This is a convention, not a circus," he yelled. The rumbling among some of the dissident crowd members quieted to a murmur. "We will be moving on to balloting. As Eldridge Cleaver has decided not to contest the convention, his delegates will be unpledged on the first round, and then shall be free to vote as they please in the second round." Thad heard chuckling behind him. "Oh man, this is good for Duke. Cleaver was pretty hardcore. No chance of his boys going for Laxalt," said one voice. "What the hell happened to him?" asked a second voice. "Got arrested for some sh*t the other night. Like you said, Adam, that's how they are," said the first voice.

The announcer began reading from various slips of paper. "Texas reports in, with all two hundred of her delegates for Laxalt..."
90  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Atlas Fantasy Elections / Re: Izvestia: Official Atlasian News Service (BREAKING: PMA IS CRUSHED) on: March 28, 2015, 09:56:59 am
Senator's Attacker Arrested

(Nyman, D.C.) - A man who attacked Senate Speaker Windjammer (Labor-ME) was arrested during a routine questioning. The police had immediately became suspect of his behavior and, after some questions, the man confessed. His name is Adam Belieber (he actually did change his original name to this).

Booking photo

I was tired after all that cyberbullying from that Windjammer dude, he told the investigators. He even posted a picture of guillotine in a thread about me on the internet forum, you know? Btw, Mr. Detective, you make me flush Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy

hahahaha omg

Great work here Kal.
91  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Regional Governments / Re: IDS 2: Stop PMing Me Act on: March 25, 2015, 07:54:04 pm
For the record, this has been tried and repealed before.
92  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: The Real Life Picture Thread (PAPOY Creepfest 2015) on: March 25, 2015, 04:28:18 pm

93  Forum Community / Off-topic Board / Re: Opinion of Burial Tree Pods on: March 25, 2015, 03:11:44 pm
So you've been gardening?
94  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Update XXII: Cleaning Up the Meat at [redacted]. on: March 25, 2015, 08:47:06 am
Will walking or standing be part of today's agenda?

Probably not.  I'm going to save my feet for the 8 hour shift tomorrow.

Have you ever considered getting an Ergotron?

Improve your energy and productivity by standing or sitting as you work, and then switch positions whenever you choose. This work style encourages healthy movement throughout the day

Promote fitness and comfort as you compute, reducing potential back and neck pain by adding movement into your work routine in a truly ergonomic workstation

Burn more calories by choosing to stand for periods of your work-day; periodic standing also promotes greater bone density and better sleep at night. WorkFit-S counteracts an increasingly sedentary workstyle
95  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Update XXII: Cleaning Up the Meat at [redacted]. on: March 25, 2015, 08:29:04 am
Will walking or standing be part of today's agenda?
96  Forum Community / Off-topic Board / Re: Phil Robertson is still a piece of sh.. on: March 24, 2015, 09:41:43 pm
Wonder how he'd react to my leanings


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97  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Update XXII: Cleaning Up the Meat at [redacted]. on: March 23, 2015, 10:23:50 pm
hamburger meat, Tostito chips, and a jar of that Tostitos Salsa Con Queso

What is that, Cheat Meal #27 for the week?

Nah Indy, a cheat meal is only when he eats out you see. Calories don't matter since preparing the meal with his own hands while standing, burns off all the calories of the food.

"I have decided to use my second cheat meal of the week on Buffalo Wild Wings, which puts us at Diet Week 7, Cheat Meal 2.  Tomorrow, I will try to behave and just have a couple hot dogs."

Just another example of how Bushie has moved the goal posts to the point where not going to Braum's counts as dieting and standing up counts as exercise.
98  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Opinion of phwezer on: March 23, 2015, 07:34:13 pm
The Wheeze = The Worst.
99  Atlas Fantasy Elections / Voting Booth / Re: Northeast Voting Booth: Reintroducing the Efficient Referenda Amendment (Again) on: March 23, 2015, 07:14:23 pm
100  Forum Community / Forum Community / Re: Which posters are most/least like you ideologically? on: March 22, 2015, 11:15:09 pm
Most: Maxwell, shua, Deus (though we're different on some bread and butter issues)
Least: NJ Christian, General Mung Beans
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