Update for Everyone VIII: He who laughs have the last laugh

[TDAS04]

I believe I went all of 2020 without leaving the Sioux Falls metro (Minnehaha and Lincoln Counties).  Hopefully I will get a couple or so vacations this year.

[TDAS04]

Today's my 34th birthday.  33 was a bit of a rough year, hopefully 34 will be better.

[TDAS04]

Times are a bit challenging for me.  The challenges I have are fairly common among us autistics, but they're still quite difficult.  I want to be fully employed and independent within a couple of years from now, but despite having graduated from college--and participating in a program designed to help people with disabilities after graduating--I still have a bit of work to do.  I have two part-time jobs, both of which are pretty enjoyable, but it's not enough to make a living.  I get some government benefits, with my Dad as payee representative, but I want to be free from dependence on that and the many strings attached, and to be a regular employed person making a decent living.  It's up to me to pull myself together, and to master the skills and to become more qualified for more positions, so I may be self-sufficient.  What is holding me back is my constant anxiety, depression, and fatigue.  I need to figure this out.

What's making it worse is that mother suffered a stroke back in February, 2021, which resulted in a decline of memory. I've been closest to her, this is very hard.

I also continue to be very lonely.  I hardly had any friends before college.  By the time I got to high school, I stopped trying, and withdrew socially.  Maybe I should have tried, I didn't realize how lonely I'd be afterwards.  I had a few friends in college, but mostly through the help of caring staff, and I don't see them much anymore.  My social skills have improved a lot, and seem to continue to improve, but it seems too late to make friends.  I do put effort into getting out and talking to people, but making friends is still an uphill battle.  I don't even need a significant other, I'd be happy with just a bromance, plus a few other good friends.

I definitely believe there's hope for me, but that's always been the case, and things still need to get better.  There is still hope nonetheless, I still have connections with some caring people who have been helpful, but there are a few things I need to figure out.  I have improved in many areas, hopefully the pace of improvement and growth will accelerate now.

Anyway, thoughts and prayers would be appreciated.

[TDAS04]

Heavy snowstorm here.  Safe at home.

[TDAS04]

I’ll soon be able to add two states to the list of states that I’ve been to. I’m visiting Connecticut and Rhode Island in November.

[TDAS04]

My smartphone survived a cycle in the washing machine. It stayed in my sweatpants pocket, and it still works completely fine, as if nothing happened.