The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[IceSpear]

The obsession continues:

Might be no launch, the way things are going! A replay of 2008 methinks....same bitching & backbiting that went on 2008; things are not going exactly as you Dems had hoped. Hillary is out of shape politically and metaphorically; no compelling message, except I'm a woman, I deserve it and oh yeah, I'm married to Bill. No real policy initiatives, except the old class warfare play book u Dems ran in 2012; ain't gonna work this time & then it gets better,  it's mid February already...Over 17 months and counting and the DNC can't even settle on a venue for the convention. Love to have that video clip of Joe Biden nearly wetting himself with mirth and the embarrassing giggling episode he indulged in the Vice presidential debate in 2012. Yeah this keeps getting better all the time, you gotta love it, the Coronation that was supposed to be smooth sailing is turning out to be anything but. Keep it up you Dems. Lol😂😁😁😃😅

STAY TUNED

His reaction to the DNC location finally getting selected was quite anticlimactic.

[IceSpear]

Democrats:
Clinton: Blue because she's secretly a Republican
Webb: Green because he's only in it for the money
Sanders: Red - the color of communism
O'Malley: Yellow because he has piss-poor chances of winning

Republicans:
Walker: Yellow because cheese (Wisconsin)
Bush: Blue - how he'll be feeling once the primaries start
Christie: Red because he's secretly a Democrat
Paul: Orange because there's no rhyme or reason with him
Santorum: Brown for obvious reasons
Cruz: Green because he'll make people sick when he starts talking
Rubio: Teal because its similiar to Blue but not as popular
Graham: Pink

[IceSpear]

Classic bronz.

Very few. I've seen the comparison between O'Malley and Tim Pawlenty made several times on the forum and I think it's completely legitimate; tbh, Marty is simply too boring. He doesn't excite people in the charismatic fashion that Warren does, and those who love Warren tend to love her for the populist brand that O'Malley doesn't really carry.

I would love a O'Malley Pawlenty election. They will offer substance.

[IceSpear]

Is this one of those times when a harmless, rarely used word in the United States is simultaneously a vile cuss-word in Britain?

[IceSpear]

I'm too wise now to fall for that.

[IceSpear]

I wonder if she asked Obama to run in 2008 so that she could be nominated as Secretary of State and then cause the Benghazi attack to happen so that it would distract us from Obama improving the economy so that she would be such an overwhelming favorite in 2016 that she would have enough power to push her longtime nemesis and sworn enemy Mikulski out of the Senate.

I wonder if she asked Obama to run in 2008 so that she could be nominated as Secretary of State and then cause the Benghazi attack to happen so that it would distract us from Obama improving the economy so that she would be such an overwhelming favorite in 2016 that she would have enough power to push her longtime nemesis and sworn enemy Mikulski out of the Senate.

She also set up Bill with Monica, both to garner sympathy for herself, as the wronged wife, and to make sure that Bill's troubles would tarnish Gore somewhat, so that he'd only be able to fight Bush to about a draw.  Because that wasn't enough, she designed the butterfly ballot, to make sure that Bush made it to the White House, setting up an 8 year failed presidency that swept Obama in as president (and her as Secretary of State) in 2008.

The problem was that she couldn't be sure that Bush would fail so badly, so she made sure to sneak Osama bin Laden out of Tora Bora, stole Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction and dumped them in the ocean (where they would years later accidentally shoot down MH370), and redirected Hurricane Katrina towards New Orleans.  To insure that Kerry lost to Bush in 2004, and to make sure that he would be sufficiently discredited so that Obama wouldn't pick him for SoS over her, she also staged Senate votes for Kerry to vote for the $87 billion before he voted against it, and asked him to tell a botched joke about getting stuck in Iraq.

Still, she never really forgave Bill for enjoying his time with Monica as much as he did, so he swiped her stained dress and had its shadow included in Bill's official portrait, then took an overexposed picture of it that looked to some people like black and blue and to others like gold and white.  The ensuing world debate over the dress's color managed to distract voters from the scandal over how she had used a private email account during her tenure at the State Department, in order to write personalized thank you notes to all of the henchmen she'd used to pull off these diabolical schemes over the years.

[IceSpear]

Hillary may announce in early spring.

I doubt it now

[IceSpear]

I am also 100% sure that Oklahoma is the greatest state in America.

[IceSpear]

Hillary Clinton: Goldwater-supporting communist war hawk who wouldn't send troops into Benghazi. She's too elderly and feeble to lead, too tech savvy and calculating to be trusted. Too weak to command respect of enemies, too mean to make friends. She's accomplished nothing but is the cause of everything.

[IceSpear]

Best: How Grant performed in Cook County in 1872.

Worst: Talking to or about women

[IceSpear]

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[IceSpear]

Apparently a bunch of posters from here invaded another forum?What the hell guys? And did so because Bushie had buggered off to said forum? And did all of this in public posts? I've been a member of this forum for eleven and a half years and I don't think I've felt as genuinely embarrassed by my membership as I do right now. This is absolutely pathetic. This is supposed to be a serious (alright serious-ish) and above all mature forum dedicated to serious discussion of politics and the tracking and mapping of elections (if you think this is boring, then feel free to leave the U.S. Election Atlas forum). Instead you act like a bunch of sugar addled twelve year olds or worse rugby players and play a juvenile trick on another forum because your favourite Walrus-shaped piñata has waddled off there. Naturally you get caught. Congratulations idiots!

Dave should probably have all the ringleaders banned for a week or something.

[IceSpear]

^Came here to post that.

[IceSpear]

true leftist.

Context.

[IceSpear]

Han Solo: Me
Leia: Adam Fitzgerald

[IceSpear]

You are not serious? If you are sicko of course, if you are a paedo yeah sure!😮 & you want a bullet to the back of the head, burned alive or castrated!

...Context?

[IceSpear]

Mike Naso likes to play with toy fighter jets and President Bush in Uniform (Limited Edition™) dolls action figures. He might count.

[IceSpear]

Yeah, NH is so off the deep end with being a consistent swing state and having divided government.

Schizophrenia seems like going off the deep end to me

[IceSpear]

Do gays even have a right to form a domestic partnership/civil union anymore? Or are we forced to get a SSM if we oppose it? I can't find any information on it, at least in California

That is extreme comedy gold.  Hats off to the author

Yeah, his performance art is very good.

[IceSpear]

I don't have anything against white people. Some of my best friends are white, and growing up my mailman was also white. It's white culture that is the problem.

[IceSpear]

Horrible, because it can encourage use among underage kids (just like flavored cigarettes). 

Lol at being worried about "underage kids" being stoned.  Who cares?  It's THC.  So what if they think about Spongebob deeper and eat more cookies?

[IceSpear]

[IceSpear]

the political experts on Dave Leip's Atlas Forum told me it was bad though... who to believe??

People who get inspired by John Kasich and Martin O'Malley for President have bad design aesthetic? Who knew!

[IceSpear]

My son used to be a libertarian, we took him to god and he finally understood. Pray the Libertarian away worked. His "liberomo" friends came over and tried to do liberomo things with him. Now he sits in his room with tissues and lotion. Tissues for the tears of missing Rand, and lotion to cover the windows with so the government drones can't peek in.

[IceSpear]

CrabCake is on a roll.

This map should make my feelings on the aforementioned poster extremely clear: