It's all just chemicals in your head man. Hate to sound like a douche, but the cold, hard truth is that your "feelings" were/are just oxytocin. Anyway, King is right. Just wait until college (and in the meantime you can try to bag other girls in your school, hopefully winning back lost respect and possibly making her jealous, though that shouldn't be your goal, just a potential positive side effect).
Jealousy, a positive side effect?....Bag girls like they are prizes?....Even for you that's low
It's a common vernacular phrase.
As for the jealousy thing, it probably won't happen since she has a boyfriend and rarely goes to his school anymore, plus actively trying to get other people jealous rarely works anyway. But, if it actually did, what would be bad about that?
Also, re-reading my initial post the tone is somewhat frivolous so I get what Madeline is saying, and I apologize to the OP if it came off as uncaring or unhelpful since you're clearly in a very tough place right now. However, my advice is the same. You just need to move on and enjoy life.
