Geez, where did you all grow up? I mean, I don't think it's the worst word in the world though I've never used it in the noun form. I'd imagine most have the decency to at least restrain themselves from using it most of the time and from what I've seen, actively discouraging others from doing so.
Stuff like the "r-word campaign" or people complaing about "gay" being used as an adjective to describe something that's stupid/lame are just ensuring people say the words in a demeaning way more often.
Really? From my experience the word 'gay' completely vanished as an insult when I was like ... fourteen. Whether that is because of a changing cultural zeitgeist or because I simply stopped being fourteen is an open question, but I can't imagine using the word gay as a derogatory sense just out of spite caused from someone telling you not to use that word. That seems like the actions of a an arse.