To those that know about my "situation"...

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Phil,

What does this chick look like?

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Phil,

What does this chick look like?

This is a rare instance that I am attracted to a blonde-ish. I guess it's classified as "dirty blonde." She wears "progressive glasses," too (you know, the trendy type that all the cool left wingers wear). She's hot.

Phil, my man!

What you lack is self-esteem.  Get self-esteem and self-esteem will give way to Confidence.  Get confidence and confidence will give way to “The Attitude”.  The attitude dictates that you don’t care if she loves you or if she disses and dismisses you…whatever happens your toes are still tappin’.

Now, who is this chick, anyway?  She’s a bubble headed coed blonde that needs to be shown her pecking order on your priority list, that’s who she is:  right underneath taking a shower and buying a new can of jock itch spray. 

Look at you:  you’re a member of this Forum, you’ve worked in one of the biggest flops of a Senatorial reelection campaign in United States political history…and, last but not least, you’re a personal friend of Mike Naso! 

I mean, if this chick can’t smell your qualifications, who needs her?!

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Lesson Number One Concerning Girls:  Girls want what they can't get.  Remember the story of Eve?

You may need to use a decoy.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Lesson Number One Concerning Girls:  Girls want what they can't get.  Remember the story of Eve?

You may need to use a decoy.

An apple, perhaps?

no, another chick

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Lesson Number One Concerning Girls:  Girls want what they can't get.  Remember the story of Eve?

You may need to use a decoy.

An apple, perhaps?

no, another chick

Yeah, that's not going to work here.

Too many of these girls seem so wrapped up in whatever they're doing so it seems impossible to really grab her attention.

women notice other women....a hotter girl thinking you're worth the effort will grab her attention.  Remember how the Serpent convinced Eve the fruit was desirable and made Eve desire it herself?

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Lesson Number One Concerning Girls:  Girls want what they can't get.  Remember the story of Eve?

You may need to use a decoy.

An apple, perhaps?

no, another chick

Yeah, that's not going to work here.

Too many of these girls seem so wrapped up in whatever they're doing so it seems impossible to really grab her attention.

women notice other women....a hotter girl thinking you're worth the effort will grab her attention.  Remember how the Serpent convinced Eve the fruit was desirable and made Eve desire it herself?

Can you explain to me how the hell I am supposed to get a "hotter" girl to go along with this when I can't even get the girl I want?

Hey, I once used a freshly minted Ms. Teen Houston as a decoy on a group date to nab a chick's attention, whom I ended up marrying.

for the cheap route, rent the Seinfeld episode "The Bizarro Jerry" and pay attention to George's ploy...

or, if you have cash to burn, rent the movie "Can't Buy Me Love" (1987)

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

for the cheap route, rent the Seinfeld episode "The Bizarro Jerry" and pay attention to George's ploy...

Oh, God. Seinfeld...

I think I'll just give up for a few years.

no, no, no...Seinfeld boils life's hard/cold facts down into simple comic morsels.  George's not-so-hot  fiancee Susan has recently died, so George uses a picture of a hot girl (not a picture of Susan) and shows other hot girls the picture as he "mourns" his late fiancee.  The hot women find George desirable simply because they believe another hot girl did.

...same basic story in "Can't Buy Me Love".  The main character pays the head cheerleader $1000  to pretend to date him, making all the other girls in the school want him.

Now, granted I had an easier time with Ms. Teen Houston, whom I met in a gym and who actually wanted me.  So, it was easy to allow her to sport me around for a while as I worked on my main target, my wife.

But the difficulty level is all relative, so don't feel bad that you don't have a Ms. Teen Houston handy to use.   Women, in their crudest form, are followers of other women, so the ploy works.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

But the difficulty level is all relative, so don't feel bad that you don't have a Ms. Teen Houston handy to use.   Women, in their crudest form, are followers of other women, so the ploy works.

But you still had someone that...you know...wanted you. That's the obstacle I'm trying to overcome. 

that's why I brought up the Seinfeld episode and the movie....you've got to pay closer attention to what I'm posting.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

So I get to class early and sit at the back table. There is an empty space (no chair) between where I am sitting and where she typically sits. She comes in and this kid that usually sits next to her goes to the empty spot. Instead of going to a spot with a chair, he decides to carry a chair all the way to the back and sits next to her.

It doesn't matter that much though. We didn't really do anything besides the instructor evaluation. I asked to borrow her lab manual for something (I actually needed it) but, of course, the kid sitting next to her decided to volunteer his for me to use. Go figure. Nothing will happen during the final so I guess I can cross that one off my list.

you know, after reading this again, I think you should give up on her and move on.  She probably told that kid to sit between the two of you because you've had your nose in her butt.  In any case, forget her.  She'll probably die of swine flu anyway, or at least slide under a bus and taste her own blood....