I'm officially an old man...

[Joe Republic]

If this passes as an entertaining story for you, you must live a dull life.

In case you missed it, here it is again:

               

[Joe Republic]

Might be time to shave that mustache.

Oh god, please don't say he still has that child rapist thing on his face.

[Joe Republic]

I still have my mustache, and I have no plans to get rid of it, unless requested to do so by a woman, and right now there are no ladies on the horizon.

And nor will there be as long as you look like you might at some point try to rape and murder them.

[Joe Republic]

They are going to look at you weird, wait for a little bit to figure out how to process the extra money you just gave them through the register, and then just give up and add it to the tip fund.  Which means you're tipping them for making a mistake that had initially benefited you.  Besides, nobody working there is going to think for a second that you don't have the "utmost honesty and integrity" because (a) they won't remember and (b) they won't care, and why the f[inks] am I still trying to convince you that the things you do are always wrong and stupid because you've never listened before so why am I still typing oh my god