Update Thread and Other Ramblings by BushOklahoma

[Joe Biden 2020]

We're about to commence the official planning of the wedding here pretty quick.  We're only doing the small stuff now, but we are starting the planning.  We are also buying a wedding calendar guide so we have an idea of when to have things planned.  I've also got those calendars bookmarked on my browser.  Tonight, I started looking at wedding photograph albums and scrapbooks so we can record all of our engagement memories, as well.  The wedding is still 358 days away, but a good wedding takes a year to plan.

[Joe Biden 2020]

The wedding is officially being planned!!  In risk of eating my words, we are thinking about modifying the wedding date, but not too much.  We could still keep it Saturday, April 2, 2011, but she kind of wants it either Saturday, March 19 or 26, so it can still be a little coolish and right at the beginning of spring.  I told her tonight I will not go any earlier than March 1 as I want to have time to plan our special day without rushing ourselves.  I also kind of hinted I will not go past April 9.

[Joe Biden 2020]

The Wedding Date is official:  Saturday, April 9, 2011 at 2:30 pm CDT

[Joe Biden 2020]

The Wedding Date is official:  Saturday, April 9, 2011 at 2:30 pm CDT

April is an morbid month.

Not for my family.  It's full of new life and new beginnings.  Plus, your grammar is off.

[Joe Biden 2020]

We had a good first day of official planning.  We got together with our matron of honor and both mothers and hashed out the road ahead at least for the first few months.  Next step is for Susan and I to discuss the rest of the attendants of the wedding such as ushers, guest book monitors, cake and punch servers, etc.

[Joe Biden 2020]

A little update.  The engagement is entering it's third week and we are doing awesome!!  We talk almost every night even if we don't see each other.  We are well underway in wedding planning.  I did find out something about her bi-polar that is such a huge relief to me.  She will be covered under my health insurance as my employer has a no-pre-existing-condition clause in all the policies for it's employees.  So, now, if she can keep her disability/SSI, that will really help me out.  I believe I make too much for her to keep her Medicaid, which kinda sucks, but at least she'll be covered.

As far as the honeymoon goes, We are planning to fly to Orlando and stay 6 nights going to Disney World.  We'll leave on Sunday morning, April 10 and then on Saturday, April 16 we'll drive up to my brother's in Jacksonville, which is only a 3-hour drive.  We'll spend Saturday night with them and then drive back to Orlando Sunday morning and fly home that evening.  I can book the honeymoon as early as Saturday, May 22, 2010 and I will hop on it then.  For some reason, the airlines only allow a 330-day advance booking, but I can combine the flights, the hotel, and the rental car for only $850 for both of us for the week and then add in $500 for 4 days of passes and food and gas, we should be able to go and come back for less than $2,000.  On the night of the wedding, we'll stay in a hotel in Oklahoma City near the Airport to officially start the honeymoon.  So, officially, the honeymoon will be 8 days, 8 nights.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Disney World?  Nothing more romantic comes to mind?

Btw I've been with[ish] a girl for almost 3 years and we talk almost every day too.  She'd punch me [or run away] if I tried to throw a ring at her any time between now and the next 4-5 years though.

She loves Disney.  We had first thought about Disneyland in Anaheim, but there's more to do and see in Orlando.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Disney World?  Nothing more romantic comes to mind?

My wife's baby sister had her honeymoon on a Disney Cruise........9 months later I had a nephew.......so Disney supports screwing and eating/drinking, both it seems.

They say that Walt Disney World is the most popular place for honeymoons all around the world, actually.

We're not going to do any of the Disney Honeymoon Vacations, as I can combine the flights, hotel, and rental car for only $850 and then add in the gasoline and the food and the park tickets, we should be able to spend a full 8 days, 9 nights for under $2,000.  I'm expecting to keep it in the $1,750 range without souvenirs.  Even though we aren't going to fly out until the early afternoon the day after the wedding, our honeymoon will officially begin after we leave the reception, because we'll stay at a hotel near the Oklahoma City airport Saturday night and then get up and get to the airport late Sunday morning.

I found out something very encouraging yesterday.  As some may know on the forum, I have a huge obsession with dates and times and countdowns (part of the reason I countdown Christmas so early).  She was over at my house yesterday afternoon and I showed her a countdown until midnight the morning of our Wedding Day that includes the days, hours, minutes, and seconds.  She said "awww, how sweet".  She really liked that!!  I'm finding out more and more each day that she is the one for me!!

BTW, as of 8:00 pm CDT, we are down to 8,500 hours even until Saturday, April 9, 2011 at 12:00 am CDT!!!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

I'm finding out more and more each day that she is the one for me!!

uhhhh...

Type of thing you might want to find out before getting engaged.

Perhaps I mistated it...  I am constantly being reassured every day that this is the right decision.  She will have her fears, and I will have mine over the next 50 weeks, but we will iron all the fears out and nothing will stop us from marrying each other!!

Right now, she does have a little peeve that I've got to work on.  She's not a real big fan of me being messy.  So, I am in the process over the next few nights of cleaning the house so the next time she comes over, it's to a clean house.  No sweat on that one!!  I cleaned the room that was bugging me the most tonight.  The bedroom that will eventually become an office.  Tuesday evening, I'll probably straighten up the other room that bugs me, the cat's bedroom!!  Then, I'll move to the other parts of the house.  Brooke, our matron of honor, helped her out by reminding her I'm a bachelor, and bachelor's are, by nature, messy.  She did advise me, though, to tidy up a bit!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

We had a good dinner this evening and a nice chat.  She expressed some concerns, which I happily agreed to the changes.  Nothing was ever in question or in jeopardy, but now that we're 3 weeks into the engagement, she is starting to shift her mentality from being a momma's girl to being a wife.  She does want me to clean up better, which I agree.  Being a bachelor really is no excuse for a messy house or messy car.  This is where the relationship will really take off when we come to agreement on concerns about each other.  Getting the concerns out of the way now is a really healthy thing for a relationship, because, the closer we get to the wedding, the more stressed we'll be and the less time we'll have to worry about concerns.  Like with any relationship, there must be compromise, and that's what we will do.  Plus, this will teach us that we can work things out when we do get married and are in a lifetime commitment.  We have a pact in our relationship that the word divorce will be banned from our vocabulary.

[Joe Biden 2020]

What happens if you want to watch the always enjoyable Divorce Court?

For a lot of our shows, like sports and historical documentaries, we will have separate TV's, so I can watch my Dallas Cowboys and she can watch whatever she wants.

We will have family time shows, as well, so we won't always be in separate rooms.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Arguments are healthy in a relationship, sure, but i hope this doesn't end up like the last one. I'm beginning to sense that she may be getting cold feet, but maybe that is just me and only me. I would hate for this to start down that path over the next few days.

These were definitely not arguments, they were civil discussions of her concerns.  I haven't brought up any concerns, yet, to her so I can't really answer Lief's question truthfully.  I've got a couple that I will let remain between us, but they are definitely no biggies.  This has no signs of ending up like the last one.  For one, she came to me out of love, instead of biting my head off.  She told me today that these were not doubts, by any means, they were just honest concerns.  You know how I know it's not cold feet.  She proudly proclaimed to the grocery store cashier whom she knew, "I want you to meet my fiancee'!!  We're getting married next April!!!!".  Is cold feet a possibility?  I guess so, but it's not something I am worried about.  She has a great supporting cast around her, as do I, that are very supportive of our engagement, and they will do everything in their power to keep both her feet and my feet warm.

Patrick, this will not be a one-sided marriage.  She will not dominate, nor will I dominate.  This will be a 100-100 marriage, meaning she will give 100% and I will give 100%.  I will help her in the kitchen and around the house and she will help me in the yard.  We will both cook together and we will watch mostly the same shows.  We will also try to not be hermits, either.  We want to get out and explore the great City of Oklahoma City.  I will take her on a vacation every year, in so far as possible.  I've already promised her for her 27th birthday in October 2011, I am going to take her to Branson, Missouri to spend the weekend!!  I'm starting to think of somewhere to take her for our first anniversary!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

Bushie, did she mention CUT OUT THE FAST FOOD?

Well, yes and no.  She certainly wants "normal" food, but is not opposed to fast food once in a while.  Her attitude is something's gotta kill ya.

Anyway, all fears of cold feet have been washed away.  She and her mother went and talked to her pastor today about the cost of having the wedding at his church.  We found a pretty good deal.  We were talking about the decorations of the ceremony and the protocol to have it at her church.  We can get it for $435 with $100 refundable after the wedding.  Then, we went to Wal-Mart and looked at different stationery items and the toast glasses.

I have next Thursday and Friday off work so we are going to talk to her pastor next Thursday, on my birthday, and hopefully reserve the church then, too.  We will now have two programs of marriage counselling, one by my pastor in August and September and then one by her pastor in October and November.  My pastor will be the one to do the wedding, though.  After the honeymoon, she will join me at my church which will be our home church until such time as God gives me a church of my own to pastor.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I've never heard of a couple having marriage counselling before their wedding

Well, that's just another thing to add to your list of things of which you have never previous heard.

Its actually rather commonplace, and required by many members of the clergy.

Not only that, but it's required by the State of Oklahoma and the County of Oklahoma County where I live and where the wedding will happen.  Not to mention, it drops the price of the marriage license from $50 to $5.  That is the least important of the benefits, but it is a benefit, nonetheless.

[Joe Biden 2020]

No update in 4 days?  Is the wedding cancelled?


(Sorry, Joe, I had too )

No, the wedding is still on!!  i just haven't posted an update!

Anyway, here is an update.  We are learning one very important key to a relationship, COMMUNICATION!!  We are learning to communicate with each other about our concerns and that is enabling us to work through them.  She has shared some concerns, mainly about cleanliness and including her in decisions.  I have shared concerns about not letting her mom or anyone tell us how to run our household or even our wedding plans.

As far as the wedding planning, we are going to slow down just a bit so we don't have everything planned and spend the last 11 months of the engagement with no planning to do.  We're going to temporarily shift from hardcore planning to enjoying each other.  I am taking her out on a date (which she will choose the place) next Friday, May 7.  We haven't been on a date since I proposed to her on April 3, so it will have been nearly 5 weeks.  That's too long.  I did promise her the other night that I would take her out somewhere at least every other week insofar as possible.  Then, when we are married, I will have a date night with her every week.  I want to continue to get to know her.  Now, we will still do some minor planning in the meantime, but we're not going to go really hardcore until probably November or December.  We've pretty much selected our attendants, although we are still working on our ring bearer.  Tomorrow, however, we will talk to her pastor and go ahead and reserve the church for Saturday, April 9, 2011.  The reason for booking it now, is the wedding is only two weeks before Easter and we don't want to take a chance of the church having plans that would prevent us from using their facilities on our special day.  The next major thing will be booking our honeymoon which based on that 330-day window, I can book it starting Saturday, May 22, 2010, because it has to be 330 days before the return flight home which will be on Sunday, April 17, 2011.

Tonight, her mother is fixing a nice steak dinner for my birthday!!  I'm to be over at her house by 5:00.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Anyway, here is an update.  We are learning one very important key to a relationship, COMMUNICATION!!  We are learning to communicate with each other about our concerns and that is enabling us to work through them.  She has shared some concerns, mainly about cleanliness and including her in decisions.  I have shared concerns about not letting her mom or anyone tell us how to run our household or even our wedding plans.

THIS IS STUFF YOU SHOULD'VE LEARNED BEFORE YOU GOT ENGAGED. IT IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE TO DATE A WOMAN FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME SO YOU'RE SURE THINGS LIKE COMMUNICATION WON'T BE AN ISSUE. THE ENGAGEMENT IS NOT THE TIME YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

I hear what you're saying, but we are not just now learning communication.  We learned communication when we first started dating.  She has always been open to me and I have always been open to her.  We don't go through third parties to communicate to each other, either, which is very important.  Just like with any relationship, it is always a work in progress, because you're putting together two imperfect, and often very different, people.  So, there will always be some work to do.  Even after we get married, I don't expect us our lives to be neatly and seamlessly merged, but we will continue to grow with each other and grow toward each other.  Sometimes, it's like trying to put together a circle and a square.  It's not a perfect fit right off the bat, but as time moves on they will blend together and form a happy union.  That's probably a very poor analogy, but it's the best one I could come up with.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Tomorrow, we are going to meet with her pastor at 10:00 am and will go ahead and reserve the church.  Then, we will breathe easy for a while, and go on dates and other outings and do some minor planning for the next several months.  We have been making plans for this summer and this fall and have several big events in mind.  We're going to take our matron of honor down to Great Wolf Lodge in Grapevine, Texas for her birthday in June and then go to our local amusement park, Frontier City, for my company's summer picnic.  I'm going to spend the fourth of July with her and her family watching fireworks.  Then, I have already scheduled her October birthday off and am thinking of something special for her.  I've already promised her I would spend Thanksgiving with her, as well.  I am to going to request she spend Christmas with my family this year.

[Joe Biden 2020]

We have officially reserved the church and are going to have both her pastor and my pastor do it.

[Joe Biden 2020]

So you'll be married twice?

No, what will happen is her pastor will open the ceremony with prayer and the scripture reading and then we'll have a transition song and my pastor will administer the vows and the rings and pronounce us husband and wife and sign the marriage license.  It's pretty unconventional, but it has happened before.  Her pastor will do the first two months of marriage counseling in August and maybe September and then my pastor will counsel us in October and November.

[Joe Biden 2020]

It is now May 2010 and we are ready to start another month of our engagement and wedding planning!!  1 month down, 11 months to go until the wedding.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Of course, it is May 2010, and I guess everyone is just dying to know what we're going to do this month.

We're not going to do anything until this next weekend when we'll probably try to see Iron Man 2 either Friday night or Saturday afternoon.  That is also Mother's Day weekend, so we'll spend Sunday with our respective mothers, most likely.  The next really big event in May will be the weekend before Memorial Day when we'll go ahead and book the honeymoon in hopes of getting the cheapest air fare, hotel, and rental car combination.  I'll be on vacation with my family over Memorial Day weekend in Albuquerque visiting family.  We're going to slow down a little bit on the wedding planning not because of any trouble brewing, but we don't want to be bored stiff for the last 9 or 10 months of the engagement.  We've got the initial setup almost finished and we'll probably wait until at least November before we start going hot and heavy toward April.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Of course, it is May 2010, and I guess everyone is just dying to know what we're going to do this month.

We're not going to do anything until this next weekend when we'll probably try to see Iron Man 2 either Friday night or Saturday afternoon.  That is also Mother's Day weekend, so we'll spend Sunday with our respective mothers, most likely.  The next really big event in May will be the weekend before Memorial Day when we'll go ahead and book the honeymoon in hopes of getting the cheapest air fare, hotel, and rental car combination.  I'll be on vacation with my family over Memorial Day weekend in Albuquerque visiting family.  We're going to slow down a little bit on the wedding planning not because of any trouble brewing, but we don't want to be bored stiff for the last 9 or 10 months of the engagement.  We've got the initial setup almost finished and we'll probably wait until at least November before we start going hot and heavy toward April.

If you finish everything for your engagement early and feel like you guys would be bored stiff..... imagine marriage.

Oh, we're going to do everything we can to prevent the staleness of marriage.  We're not going to go out and by his and her's rocking chairs, yet.

Also, we have chosen our main song other than the Wedding March.  The song is (Everything I Do) I Do it All for You by Bryan Adams from one of the Robin Hood movies.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Of course, it is May 2010, and I guess everyone is just dying to know what we're going to do this month.

We're not going to do anything until this next weekend when we'll probably try to see Iron Man 2 either Friday night or Saturday afternoon.  That is also Mother's Day weekend, so we'll spend Sunday with our respective mothers, most likely.  The next really big event in May will be the weekend before Memorial Day when we'll go ahead and book the honeymoon in hopes of getting the cheapest air fare, hotel, and rental car combination.  I'll be on vacation with my family over Memorial Day weekend in Albuquerque visiting family.  We're going to slow down a little bit on the wedding planning not because of any trouble brewing, but we don't want to be bored stiff for the last 9 or 10 months of the engagement.  We've got the initial setup almost finished and we'll probably wait until at least November before we start going hot and heavy toward April.

If you finish everything for your engagement early and feel like you guys would be bored stiff..... imagine marriage.

Oh, we're going to do everything we can to prevent the staleness of marriage.  We're not going to go out and by his and her's rocking chairs, yet.

Also, we have chosen our main song other than the Wedding March.  The song is (Everything I Do) I Do it All for You by Bryan Adams from one of the Robin Hood movies.

LOL!!  you will realise that everything you do is not for her but to spite her. I wanted to be sour like everyone else.

What a sappy song though. But it fits for a wedding. And you will probably turn out well if you guys can make it to the day of the wedding.

We're going to have so much fun over the next 11 months leading up to Wedding Day.  As I mentioned earlier, we are going to start going out on dates at least every other week and do something different each time so we can keep the relationship fresh.  Then, I promised her last week that we would have a date night once a week with just the two of us after we get back from our honeymoon.  I'm also planning to take her on a week-long vacation every year, though I haven't promised her that as I don't want to have to eat my words later.  We are going to do everything we can to keep this relationship fresh for many, many years.

As for the song, that is one of her favorite songs.  I just heard it for the first time late last week, but I love the lyrics and the music to it and I readily agreed to it.  We'll probably have another song in there besides the Wedding March, so probably a total of 3 besides the recessional.

[Joe Biden 2020]

We just entered the second month of our engagement this evening.  April was a really good month and a really educational month about my bride-to-be.  I learned lots of cool stuff about her!!  We're looking forward to going through the second month and hope to learn so much more about each other.  I believe in a relationship you never will know absolutely everything about each other, even if you're fortunate to celebrate 50 or more years together.  The element of suprise is always a part of a relationship and that's what keeps it fresh and exciting.  I've talked to an elderly couple who have been married almost 70 years and they still find new things about each other even when he is 4 months shy of 90 years old and she is almost 88.

[Joe Biden 2020]

No. April is the cruelest month.

I have to respectfully disagree.