A few weeks after the 2016 election, I had a dream in which I was a secret agent working for the FBI. I received news that President Trump (who was currently enjoying a 90% approval rating) was going to be assassinated. One night, I attended a costume party in the Oval Office undercover (in an attempt to stop the assassin). The theme was pirate, but everyone decided to wear grim reaper cloaks. When I wasn’t looking, all the senators in the room pulled knives out from underneath their cloaks and proceeded to stab the president (Julius Caesar style). The president was assumed dead, and Vice President Ted Cruz was immediately sworn in. I just realized he organized the assassination, but it was already too late. He blamed the democrats for the assassination and had all of them executed. He named a turtle called Bubblegum as his Vice President and made it mandatory for Americans to make a religious pilgrimage to Mississippi.
Now
that sounds like a true political thriller...at least until the turtle part
