Comedy Goldmine V: A Tribute to Delayed Sequels with Over-the-Hill Actors

[YRABNNRM]

I think Obama will smile quite a bit too.  I really think he should wear the Stevie Ray Vaughan hat.  It offsets his enormous ears, and, quite frankly, he looks sexy in that hat.  Like most Americans, I'm looking for a candidate who looks good in a tank top, smiles quite a bit, talks about "values," and makes me want to have a shot and a beer with him.  If he wears the black hat, I'll be impressed.  If he wears a tank top, he'll win my vote.  If he takes a shot of an American-made grain beverage and chases it with a premium domestic ale such as a Sierra Nevada or Saint Joseph's Ale, then I'll even put up a sign in my window. 

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In a thread about Ted Kennedy's possible replacement in the senate:

James is right.  McCain would have been limited to around 53 points with Hillary as the nominee.  With Obama, he's limited to about 63% (though, I think high 50s is more likely).

You seem to be confused as this is a place for humorous posts.

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HAHAHA

Conan further proves how much of a joke he is.

Welcome to reality, or are you just getting a bad education at your 4th rate college?

If you care to refresh my memory as to where you attend, but I seem to recall you don't attend Upenn or Carnegie. I don't seem to recall any noteworthy schools.

Temple or Drexel? West Chester? All of those are at least 3rd rate.

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https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=76653.0

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Sadly, we probably won't attack Iran at this point. If they continue to defy the world, I would hope that Europe would grow some balls and help out this time. Otherwise, they and we are in a whole heap of trouble.

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The whole thread is great but most notably these two posts...

My favorite Clinton joke was her 2008 campaign.

If the Democrats had the rules the Republicans had, then she would have been the nominee. And the caucus states really screwed her up, they are undemocratic and unfair to her. Obama also stole Missouri, like McVain did, due to St Louis voter fraud.

She should be the nominee technically, but due to pro-obama DNC idoits, he will be. She should really run as an independent.

That is it, I am telling texaslefty on you.

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Does anyone care about Musgrove

I would crawl across hot coals with him on my back from here to DC if that's what it took to get him there.

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I'm just annoyed that when we have these polls showing Obama losing, we all sit back and try to find out what his best case scenario is and how he could win. Just ignore me for now.

we all have our difficult times.  I had one last night.  "Senior Cut Day" is coming up next week at my HS.  the whole thing just pisses me off.  I REFUSE to cut on Senior Cut Day.  it reminds me of a story my dad once told me about how he protested the Vietnam War in a short haircut, slacks, and polo shirt.  why?  he refused to wear the uniform.  don't think I'm averse to cutting school - I'm doing so tomorrow.  that's why it's 142am and sleepytime is still a long way away for me.  but when people try to do something en masse to be cool - such as Senior Cut Day - I get mad.  when a group of "non-conformists" grow too large they develop a code of rules just as rigid and arbitrary as the one the originally rebelled against.  so I'll proudly attend every class on Senior Cut Day.  so, yeah.  good luck sorting things out.  don't seek psychotherapy though - those people just f*** you up even more.  take it from me.  I'm experienced.

Exactly.  Safe Obama.

[YRABNNRM]

Why do all teenagers smell bad

In my gym its damn awful

BO everywher from these longhaired weirdtalkin teenagers

Cmon poeple put on some in deodoratn

[YRABNNRM]

Harry: "Its not what you think.  Its ectoplasm...I swear...GHOSTS!"

Crowd: Change your pants.

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It isn't about 'age' it's about attitude.

As someone in their mid-20s, I hate to tell you, those ditzy 20 year olds turn into equally ditzy 25 year olds and likely 30 year old etc etc. There is not a typical anything.

You Republicans and you black and whitism

It's all down to the person.

Oh yeah...I know all girls will have their issues...hell everyone has their issues! But there is a difference.

A few weeks back, I was sitting at a local joint, a Western-dance joint, and I was talking with a 25 year old I know who dates a cop my father works with. I met her when she was 21 years old and I was 15 years old in July 2004. I saw her at three parties in 2005, and we talked and had a good time at all three...and then I didn't see her again until this past April. We talked and she told me I was "so humble" and that I "never try to take advantage of her"... then she started kissing me. We kissed a bit, and then went on hanging out with our other friends.

No drama. No "oh my god we kissed". None of that teen-type crap. Two adults having a good time, and we kissed. A week ago, another girl my age and I were hanging out for the third time in a few days...and we had a personal and nice conversation. I gave her a goodnight peck and she got angry. See the difference? The 25 year old kisses me...not a peck btw....and there are no strings attached, no drama. When I see her again, we'll probably go on as if it never happened...and not for any reason in particular.

But the 19 year old? The girl who is NOT six years old than me but rather my age? One peck on the cheek after she tells me she likes me on the third night we hang out and there is teen-like crap drama! It's that type of thing that only re-enforces my liking of older women...even if it is only 5-6 years older.

OMG did you hook up???


On a serious note - it all depends on the person actually. Some girls are just different. It really didn't have much to do with the age. Some will be more open to kissing and such than others. Age really doesn't matter once the girl hits a certain age. If they are ditzy at 16 or 17, they'll probably be that way at 20 or 25. You shouldn't be forcing kisses on girls though, some don't like that and think you want more, which most of us do. But that older girl was probably that way when she was younger as well, and that younger girl will probably always be that way. In my world, you really can't be just friends with girls, it's impossible. You either do them or ignore them .. there's really no in between. That's your problem. Stop trying to be their friends and try to be their man.

Besides, younger girls are better because their vagine doesn't hang like sleeve of wizard ..

Um......let's not talk about that sentence...please...anything....let's discuss anything....

Let's discuss Franklin Pierce. Baseball. Candy bars. Anything but that sentence.

[YRABNNRM]

In before Phil...

She would be the hottest veep ever so she has that going for her. Other than that maybe she needs to wait a little bit.

you call that hot? just looking at her picture for one moment makes me want to barf.

You need my upcoming book:

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Dont like how Mccain exposed his nipples the whole time

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I now support McKinney if Obama is going to joke about guns.

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i think the biggest problem with the sega saturn is that the sony playstation had a better selection of games.   i could be wrong, as im not a video game expert.

i would vote for ralph nader but he is anti-israel.

Click for context.

[YRABNNRM]

That post isn't funny.

[YRABNNRM]

"Now, eventually you do plan to have Religious Righties on your Religious Right Tour, right?"

Anything with Goldblum gets an A+ from me.

[YRABNNRM]

Al Gore (b/c 9/11 under him could have been the end of America)

[YRABNNRM]

McCain should pick Romney, far and away the most qualified to serve as Vice President and to become President should the occasion arise.

G-d, I would consider leaving the country if that slimeball ever became President.

You obviously don't call yourself a clown for nothing.

[YRABNNRM]

Ten years ago today, "Armageddon", my favorite movie, came into theaters.

While it was panned by critics for "over the top" action and razz-dazz special effects, it sure made the public happy...and "Armageddon" became the highest grossing film in the world for 1998, beating out "Saving Private Ryan".

I first saw this film in 2001, and ever since then it has remained my favorite movie. It was strange...as soon as it ended seven years ago, I noted "that was the greatest movie I have ever seen." It made me laugh, made me cry, and ALWAYS kept me on the edge of my seat.

The plot for those unfamilar:

When a giant sized asteroid is on a collison course with Earth, sure to end all life...the head of NASA hires Bruce Willis and his rag-tag team of blue collar roughneck oil drillers to fly to the Asteroid, drill and blow up the rock.

Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer worked on this together...and any film either one of them has been involved in (Bad Boys I and II, National Treasure I and II, The Rock, Con-Air, ect.) are all some of my favorites.

If you haven't seen it, check it out.

[YRABNNRM]

I'd like to know where I said I didn't support a budget, I am actually undecided.  Gporter speeches continue to follow the pattern of say one thing incredibly broad, say that same thing over again with different words, say that thing again the way it was said the first time, thank everyone.

I just hope he doesn't cry after this race unlike the last one

You have no proof that I cried. I did not cry.

He will not bring in new ideas, we have seen proof of this in the campaign when he has brought nothing new to the floor. He speaks of the past, I speak of the future. I am a candidate who brings new things to the floor. I could be a new face in the senate with new ideas. Compared to an old face with no new ideas that he talked about.

Those sentences all same the same exact thing

they are not. see, there you go, attacking every little thing someone else does for no reason. do people really want a senator like that?

They want a senator that doesn't cry foul everytime cause they are a weakling

excuse me, that was the only time that I had cried foul. Check your records. I have conceded with my head held high every time except for this time that I have lost an election on here. trying to make me loose by telling fibs about me like that should not be able to work.

you call me a weakling, check the mirror first.

Gporter, here's another quality every Senator should have:
LEARING HOW TO F***KING SPELL!!

here is another fine example of you all telling a fib about me just for me to loose an election. I ran the post through spell check and it had nothing wrong with it.

[YRABNNRM]

That whole post is hialrious, but also make note that are the "LEARN TO IN SPELL" thing Gporter posts the word "loose" instead of "lose"

Yea, that's what's funny about it big guy.

[YRABNNRM]

That whole post is hialrious, but also make note that are the "LEARN TO IN SPELL" thing Gporter posts the word "loose" instead of "lose"

Yea, that's what's funny about it big guy.

O its a lot more than that

Nothing that isn't in every other gporter post.

[YRABNNRM]

This guy really is shameless.

I have a huge problem with him, and I don't think he is qualified to shine my shoes, but the McCain campaign needs to consider him, because he was a Governor, and has lots of money.

You could not afford to have Romney shine your shoes, my friend.

[YRABNNRM]

Perhaps there should be a "gporter's greatest hits" thread.