Prime Minister: Take a wild guess
First Secretary of State: Dallasfan
Lord Chancellor: Ernest, Earl of Constitution-and-Law-Board
Chancellor of the Exchequer: CrabCake
Home: Torie
Foreign: Lumine
Defense: Windjammer
Work and Pensions: Al
Health: Tim Turner
International Development: Hashemite
Education: v0031 (obviously)
Transport: Snowguy
Business, Innovation and Skills: Cathcon
Northern Ireland: Oakvale
Environment, Food and Rural Affairs: Southern Gothic
Communities and Local Government: Nathan
Wales: NeverAgain
Culture, Media and Sport: OC
Scotland: alfeitch
Energy and Climate Change: muon2 (he's a scientist!)
Lord President of the Council/Leader of the House of Commons: Truman
Lord Privy Seal/Leader of the House of Lords: Baroness Virginia of Central-ish Florida
Parliamentary Secretary to the Treasury/Chief Whip in the House of Commons: Mr. Morden
Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster/Party Chairman: Adam Griffin
Paymaster General/Minister for Cabinet Office: Antonio V
Chief Secretary to the Treasury: Evergreen
Minister of State for Employment: Dave Leip
Minister of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs: Garlan Gunter
Minister of State for Small Business, Industry and Enterprise: Peebs
Attorney General: Badger
Minister without portfolio: Cranberry
No Minister for Basement Construction and Maintenance ?