Bushie: The Final Frontier - Update Season V

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

No, the house was indeed vandalized, but that is not the main reason I'm moving home.  I have already explained why I am moving home, but as per usual people are glossing over what I have written and I will not write it again.

Jeff, what are you talking about?  Mere hours ago, you said this:

BREAKING NEWS: Due to a second vandalism at my Midwest City home just today, I will be moving back to Oklahoma in March.  Details are still being worked out, but I plan to be home the second weekend of March (March 9-10).  Its nothing work related that I'm coming home, but just with the house.

I'm not seeing ANY reason for you moving home other than the vandalism... so what are we glossing over?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

And this obsession with going to Kenya is ridiculous... with the condition that you and your finances are in, you have no good reason to go to Kenya.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

And this obsession with going to Kenya is ridiculous... with the condition that you and your finances are in, you have no good reason to go to Kenya.

Please do not tell me by obsession with going to Kenya is ridiculous.  I have said many times that I am not going for another 4-5 years.  One of the other reasons for moving home is to shed a lot of this extra debt so I can pay down my bills and be able to move to Kenya more comfortably.

Jeff, you can't hold a job for 6 months... how can you possibly think that planning a long-term trip halfway around the world in 4-5 years is a good idea?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

As to the Oklahoma house, I find that 1) it is for sale, and 2)  to be sold it will have to be a short sale to cover closing costs (and whatever repairs are needed to deal with the alleged vandalism). Never trust a lawyer. We can find out all about you in about 5 minutes, because we write the laws, and have access to information that the masses to not, cosseted guild that we are. Anyway, there is nothing there to protect or preserve.

I am doing a short sale.  The realtor said it should be maximum of two months, meaning I should be done with the house by April.  I am going to stay in there for the last 6 weeks or so just so the thieves don't try to break in the house.  They've already stolen the air conditioner and now they've vandalized the shed.  The only thing left is the house.

So rent the house.

How much did you spend in costs to physically move out to UT?
How much did you spend to transfer your information to UT (driver's license, insurance, etc.)?

Now multiply that by 2, because you're doing it all over again, just in reverse.  I mean... come on, Jeff... you are the reason economic models fail... you are the irrational financial actor.  I mean this to help you - never before have I seen someone make so many--not just bad choices--but the closest thing to "objectively wrong" that one can get to in the realm of finances.  You know those presentations where the presenter jokingly outlines the "What to do if you want to be bad ____" (i.e., what to do if you want to write a bad essay, fail a job interview, etc.)... when it comes to finances, you are that humorous powerpoint.  And you will drive not only yourself, but your family and those who care about you into the ground if you keep this up.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

And this obsession with going to Kenya is ridiculous... with the condition that you and your finances are in, you have no good reason to go to Kenya.

Please do not tell me by obsession with going to Kenya is ridiculous.  I have said many times that I am not going for another 4-5 years.  One of the other reasons for moving home is to shed a lot of this extra debt so I can pay down my bills and be able to move to Kenya more comfortably.

Jeff, you can't hold a job for 6 months... how can you possibly think that planning a long-term trip halfway around the world in 4-5 years is a good idea?

Oh be quiet.  I am not in as terrible circumstances as this forum thinks I am.  Sure, things are not great, but they could be A WHOLE LOT worse.

Of course they could be worse.  You could be unemployed, focusing solely on Kenya.  Thank GOD you still have a job right now, and if you're smart, you'll keep that job.

Employers don't like people who jump around... they like hiring people who will stick around.  If you can't hold a job for 6 months, eventually you won't be able to get a job.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

I'm playing a bit of strategy here.  I am spinning my wheels on my career right now and am not going anywhere with it.  I need to step back and regroup.  When I get home, I will still look for a job, any job, even a call center, but I will also go to a vo-tech that probably won't start until August.  Right now, Kenya will still probably happen in 4-5 years, but that will be the furthest thing of my mind.  What I want to do is focus on the here and now while paying down my bills so I can make the future plans even remotely possible.

Why do you need to go to Oklahoma to go to vocational-technical school?  And if you're going to wait until August, why leave now?

How can you pay down your bills if you're unemployed?

How did you not think you'd be spinning your wheels?  We've been telling you to stop getting jobs at call centers for a while, but that doesn't mean quit when you don't have employment lined up.

Kenya clearly isn't the furthest thing from your mind, because you mention it a heck of a lot.  It seems like the furthest thing from your mind is holding down a steady job for more than 4 months.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

1. Why does your dad want you to come home?
2. If you didn't take time off and didn't quit jobs so often, you wouldn't need to rely on your parents.
3. If your dad's job is in jeopardy, it is incredibly selfish of you to take their money knowing it could lead to their financial detriment.
4. Forget Kenya altogether for now.  Don't even talk about going in 5 years.  Until you can hold a job for at least a year and support yourself, you shouldn't think about doing anything other than working your butt off to be self-sustaining.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

We have thought about renting it out, but don't want the hassle of being a landlord.  We also can't afford to hire anybody to manage the renting for us.

Inks, I would appreciate it if you stopped reminding me of my "failures", which really are not failures, and stop with the "I told you so" crap.  You do realize that doesn't help, right?  Let me be clear, I HAVE NOT FAILED AT LIFE.

Jeff, I'm not reminding you of any failures... I'm giving you advice for what you should do now.  Whether you fail or not is up to you, based on what you do now.  I'm not saying you failed at life.  I don't see any "I told you so"s.  But you're at a crossroads.  You can either decide to go back to being even more dependent on your parents, or you can choose to move forward and be productive on your own.  But I can all but guarantee that if you move back with your parents, things will not go as you envision them, and you'll be living at home, essentially unemployed for a while.

There is absolutely no good reason for you to move home.  You have a job.  I promise you now that I could come up with a budget for you to sustain yourself based on you staying in Utah.  That may mean getting a second job and cutting back on some of your luxuries, but it can be done.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Are you drinking, Bushie? "We", "we"? Who are we? You are thirty. This should be "I".

Concord Grape Raspberry V-8 V-Fusion Light.

And that costs money.  Water would be a heck of a lot cheaper.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

I am done with this conversation.  No matter what I say will please you and you'll just continue to yell at me.  I am moving back to Oklahoma and there is nothing anyone can stay to stop me.

Nobody is yelling at you.  But the fact that you have your mind set on this and you're not even willing to listen to input (and note - the input is unanimous that this is a bad idea... that should tell you something, considering the diversity amongst the group in political, economic, age, maturity, etc. factors) is a shame.  What's the point of having an update thread where people can post and talk with you if you refuse to listen?  If you enjoy telling others about yourself without having commentary, write a blog - start a YouTube channel or something.  We're trying to help you, Jeff, and instead, you're plugging your ears and yelling, "La la la! I can't hear you" as you squander your parents' money on things that 1) you don't need, and 2) are harmful toward your well-being.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

You don't need to take money from your parents.  I am confident that you could sustain yourself.  After you pay your rent on your apartment, how much money, per month, is left over from your income?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Jeff, I'm being 100% sincere here... if you tell me some of your financial standing, I'll help you make a budget - I don't even have to know what you make a month; I just need to know how much you have leftover after you pay your apartment rent.  And is your car paid off?  If not, add that into the rent.  Your car insurance can't be more than what - $150/month?  Do you pay utilities or are they included in the rent?  I guarantee you can cut there - even if it's unplugging appliances at night.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Jeff, I'm being 100% sincere here... if you tell me some of your financial standing, I'll help you make a budget - I don't even have to know what you make a month; I just need to know how much you have leftover after you pay your apartment rent.  And is your car paid off?  If not, add that into the rent.  Your car insurance can't be more than what - $150/month?  Do you pay utilities or are they included in the rent?  I guarantee you can cut there - even if it's unplugging appliances at night.

I appreciate the sincerity, but now that I have given my intent to vacate notice, I cannot undo it.  So, I have to leave.  I'll be alright, Inks.  I know who I am and I know what I want to do, now I can finally start moving in that direction.

They would probably let you take back your intent to vacate notice.  Look, Jeff... you can play games and mislead us and other people, and I suspect that that's what you do to your family... I know I wouldn't support a child who's in financial trouble because he refuses to stop "treating" himself to going out at least once a week, buy's beverages because he won't drink water, and takes time off when he could be working.  Maybe that seems cold-hearted to some; to me, it seems necessary.  Do your parents honestly know all of the reasons of why you're in financial trouble?  If not, you're misleading them, and you need to be 100% straight with them.  And that means 100% straight... everything on the table.  They shouldn't be able to ask a question when you're done talking without you being able to say, "I already addressed that."  And if you are misleading them, does it stop with them, or are you misleading yourself?  You brush your weekly dinner outings and V-8 drinks off as no big deal, but those all add up.  Until YOU know why you are unable to sustain yourself, the problem is unfixable.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

And I still don't get why you have such trouble telling the truth. Does that character flaw in you bother you at all?

I'm still a bit unclear on the motive for lying as well.  What exactly does Bushie expect to happen that's so bad if he tells us the truth?  That's we'll criticize him?  If he's that thin-skinned, why make a thread like this?

Except, I haven't lied about anything in this "episode".  I have shared everything that has been going on and my intentions for making such a drastic and eye-brow raising move.  I am not thin-skinned.  I will admit, some of the wrangling the past couple of pages have gotten under my skin a bit, but a little water washes it right out!  This thread has really given a thicker skin.  I can take a whole lot more now than what I used to.

"Due to a second vandalism at my Midwest City home just today, I will be moving back to Oklahoma in March."

That was a lie.  You're moving home because your dad told you to.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Inks, a Suze Orman routine...  Telling him to work two jobs when he is struggling to hold one.

But he's not struggling to hold one because he can't work... he's struggling to hold one because he listens to the poor advice of his family and is impulsive and thinks things will always be better with the latest scheme.  That doesn't mean he's incapable of holding 2 jobs.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

And I still don't get why you have such trouble telling the truth. Does that character flaw in you bother you at all?

I'm still a bit unclear on the motive for lying as well.  What exactly does Bushie expect to happen that's so bad if he tells us the truth?  That's we'll criticize him?  If he's that thin-skinned, why make a thread like this?

Except, I haven't lied about anything in this "episode".  I have shared everything that has been going on and my intentions for making such a drastic and eye-brow raising move.  I am not thin-skinned.  I will admit, some of the wrangling the past couple of pages have gotten under my skin a bit, but a little water washes it right out!  This thread has really given a thicker skin.  I can take a whole lot more now than what I used to.

"Due to a second vandalism at my Midwest City home just today, I will be moving back to Oklahoma in March."

That was a lie.  You're moving home because your dad told you to.

Babysitting the house is also his idea.  You could say his idea is two-fold.

Yes... you could have said that.  But you didn't.  Thus, you lied.  The fact that you can't even admit that you lied shows me that you are in fact deceiving not only your family, but also yourself.  You've become accustomed to lying so much that you are now actually believing your own lies.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

One thing I would prefer if I have to move back to Oklahoma and is bring things back to where they were before I moved to Utah.  I would like to keep the house, take it completely off the market, find a good job out there, still go to vo tech, and such like that and basically resume what I was doing albeit without a lot of the furniture.

10 minutes ago you were saying you had no choice but to move back... now it's an "if"?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

One thing I would prefer if I have to move back to Oklahoma and is bring things back to where they were before I moved to Utah.  I would like to keep the house, take it completely off the market, find a good job out there, still go to vo tech, and such like that and basically resume what I was doing albeit without a lot of the furniture.

10 minutes ago you were saying you had no choice but to move back... now it's an "if"?

I mistyped.  I should have said "when".

So, you never responded to my more important post... do your parents know that you eat out once a week, refuse to drink only water, and took voluntary time off?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

One thing I would prefer if I have to move back to Oklahoma and is bring things back to where they were before I moved to Utah.  I would like to keep the house, take it completely off the market, find a good job out there, still go to vo tech, and such like that and basically resume what I was doing albeit without a lot of the furniture.

10 minutes ago you were saying you had no choice but to move back... now it's an "if"?

I mistyped.  I should have said "when".

So, you never responded to my more important post... do your parents know that you eat out once a week, refuse to drink only water, and took voluntary time off?

Yes, yes, and yes.

Well then the fact that they are still supporting your habits points to the likeliness that they are financially irrational as well--maybe not to the point that you are, but that's not normal.  That goes beyond charity.  You may not see it, but you're taking advantage of them.  Taking money from your parents should be a last resort when you want to be independent, especially if, as you claim, your father's job prospects could be on shaky ground.  If I were in your position, I would be eating ramen noodles every night and dog sitting for every neighbor I could find, not taking money from my dad who may not have money in a few months.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Inks, a Suze Orman routine...  Telling him to work two jobs when he is struggling to hold one.

But he's not struggling to hold one because he can't work... he's struggling to hold one because he listens to the poor advice of his family and is impulsive and thinks things will always be better with the latest scheme.  That doesn't mean he's incapable of holding 2 jobs.

This can get me some infraction points but my general concern here is that Bushie is not in the best health. From the aggregate of everything he posted on here I would think he has some form of anxiety or mood disorder.  I think were he to get himself fit, he could succeed at one job and even two. Right now, not the one.  Life can overwhelm anyone and it can completely swamp those who do not look after themselves.

The lies, self delusional flights of fancy, and the bouts of depression are all very familiar and I don't think this is just me projecting.

Fair enough--he may not be in a position to take on 2 jobs immediately, but eating healthier and less would save his money and improve his health.  He could drop the pounds a lot quicker than his is (if he even is - it's been a while since that's been updated).

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

No offense, Jeff, but you clearly have something wrong with you - the lying isn't normal.  Running from a diagnosis will only do more harm.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

I wonder if Bushie has done his taxes yet. His returns should be interesting. He better get a lot back with his current plans...

I hope he doesn't get audited... that poor IRS agent.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Guys, I will be okay.  Yeah, it going to be rough for a while, and this definitely sucks, but I will be alright.  This is just another chapter in my life.  I don't want to leave Utah, but I've got to do what I've got to do.  I know you guys are worried sick about me, and I genuinely appreciate that, but I'm not worried about it.

Duke, I'm really fearing I won't be able to do a two weeks notice.  Xerox in Oklahoma City in a round about way gave me the finger like that, so I'm not entirely sure Xerox in Sandy, Utah would do any different.  We'll find out tomorrow, so there's nothing to worry about tonight.  What happens tomorrow won't affect my preparation, but it will just affect my departure.  I will leave Utah with my head held high and not regretting anything.

And, no, Duke, this series is far from over.  There will be a lot more update to come!

Yeah, too bad leaving Utah is not something you've "got to do".  And you know that.  I know you do.  The problem is that you've lied to us so many times that you're confusing your own self now.  You have some serious mental/psychological issues... and moving home isn't going to fix those.  You may think it will make things better, but you're moving home with people who are just as naïve as you, evidenced by the fact that they are flushing money down the toilet by funding your frivolous adventures and excessive eating.  Things will only get worse now that you're moving closer to the source of the money, and if your father loses his job, you'll be in big trouble--not only because you will be cut off from your source of judgment-free welfare, but because you will be suddenly cut off from something that you will have grown even more dependent on in the coming months.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Guys, I will be okay.  Yeah, it going to be rough for a while, and this definitely sucks, but I will be alright.  This is just another chapter in my life.  I don't want to leave Utah, but I've got to do what I've got to do.  I know you guys are worried sick about me, and I genuinely appreciate that, but I'm not worried about it.

Duke, I'm really fearing I won't be able to do a two weeks notice.  Xerox in Oklahoma City in a round about way gave me the finger like that, so I'm not entirely sure Xerox in Sandy, Utah would do any different.  We'll find out tomorrow, so there's nothing to worry about tonight.  What happens tomorrow won't affect my preparation, but it will just affect my departure.  I will leave Utah with my head held high and not regretting anything.

And, no, Duke, this series is far from over.  There will be a lot more update to come!

Yeah, too bad leaving Utah is not something you've "got to do".  And you know that.  I know you do.  The problem is that you've lied to us so many times that you're confusing your own self now.  You have some serious mental/psychological issues... and moving home isn't going to fix those.  You may think it will make things better, but you're moving home with people who are just as naïve as you, evidenced by the fact that they are flushing money down the toilet by funding your frivolous adventures and excessive eating.  Things will only get worse now that you're moving closer to the source of the money, and if your father loses his job, you'll be in big trouble--not only because you will be cut off from your source of judgment-free welfare, but because you will be suddenly cut off from something that you will have grown even more dependent on in the coming months.

Just watch

OK - prove me wrong.  When you're at home, don't take handouts from your family.  In fact, pay your family back.  But that means you need to stop eating out and quit buying flavored drinks because you don't want to drink water.  If you have to go somewhere, and the location is close by, walk (or ride a bike), instead of wasting gas.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Guys, I will be okay.  Yeah, it going to be rough for a while, and this definitely sucks, but I will be alright.  This is just another chapter in my life.  I don't want to leave Utah, but I've got to do what I've got to do.  I know you guys are worried sick about me, and I genuinely appreciate that, but I'm not worried about it.

Duke, I'm really fearing I won't be able to do a two weeks notice.  Xerox in Oklahoma City in a round about way gave me the finger like that, so I'm not entirely sure Xerox in Sandy, Utah would do any different.  We'll find out tomorrow, so there's nothing to worry about tonight.  What happens tomorrow won't affect my preparation, but it will just affect my departure.  I will leave Utah with my head held high and not regretting anything.

And, no, Duke, this series is far from over.  There will be a lot more update to come!

Yeah, too bad leaving Utah is not something you've "got to do".  And you know that.  I know you do.  The problem is that you've lied to us so many times that you're confusing your own self now.  You have some serious mental/psychological issues... and moving home isn't going to fix those.  You may think it will make things better, but you're moving home with people who are just as naïve as you, evidenced by the fact that they are flushing money down the toilet by funding your frivolous adventures and excessive eating.  Things will only get worse now that you're moving closer to the source of the money, and if your father loses his job, you'll be in big trouble--not only because you will be cut off from your source of judgment-free welfare, but because you will be suddenly cut off from something that you will have grown even more dependent on in the coming months.

Just watch

OK - prove me wrong.  When you're at home, don't take handouts from your family.  In fact, pay your family back.  But that means you need to stop eating out and quit buying flavored drinks because you don't want to drink water.  If you have to go somewhere, and the location is close by, walk (or ride a bike), instead of wasting gas.

When I get home, we're going to sit down and develop a game plan of what we want and need to do.  We'll probably develop the game plan the day after I get home, because I'm going to go a different route than I came up here and it will likely take me 3 solid days to get home since I won't be in any kind of rush.

Your game plan is simple: Don't spend money on things that you do not NEED.