Have you ever had a Girlfriend before?

[Willy Woz]

Yes, but she dumped me today.

[Willy Woz]

Never, nor do I ever expect to have one. 

No one in real life knows just how hopeless I consider my prospects of finding a mate.  At the surface they think I am cheerful and optimistic, but deep down I am actually in utter despair. 

Are you a virgin?

[Willy Woz]

Yes, but she dumped me today.

Ellie Welder?

Yep. She left me for some Proddy.

[Willy Woz]

Don't toss around terms like "future wife" like that.

Ummm, we were engaged for over a year. That's all I'll say.

[Willy Woz]

Don't toss around terms like "future wife" like that.

Ummm, we were engaged for over a year. That's all I'll say.

She'll be back. This is certainly not the first time she dumped me.

But she dumped you anyways. It's a good thing you didn't get married.

[Willy Woz]

Yes, but it's been quite a while.

Anyway, there's 3 types of girls at MSU:

• Christan conservatives
• big time drinker/partiers
• both

with the majority being in the 3rd type.  I keep thinking surely I'll run into someone who's neither, but no luck so far.

Newsflash: Almost everyone at ALL colleges falls into one of the first two categories. That was true at mine too (though far more in the second and few in the third.)

Just go with one in the second. What's the problem?

I don't drink/party.  I'm pretty nerdy.  I have recently acknowledged the fact that I'm very similar to Steve Carrell's character in the 40-Year Old Virgin.

Are you a 40-year-old virgin?

[Willy Woz]

(What's a "proddy"?)

Protestant.

[Willy Woz]

I shouldn't have a problem in the next few years given that I have a wider array of likeability. I'll date a 20 year old or a 27 year old...as long as I like them and they like me. Once I'm set in the Air Force down in the South (where people are nicer) then I should be up to my eyeballs in women. Trust me...it's gonna happen!

Keep hope alive!  Hey, the Air Force helped my grandfather win the heart of a beautiful young woman who was way out of his league (my dear, departed grandmother), so maybe it will do the same to you.

And yes, Southern women are better...as long as you stick with the genteel type and not the trashy type.

What about the in-betweens? You know, the working- and middle-class...

[Willy Woz]

I don't get your hatred of female shyness, Mike, it certainly endears me to women. (Then again, I like those uptight 1950s-style Mormon types)

[Willy Woz]

Dude...I'd adapt much better with them then these northern chicks. Southern gals = happy Mike.

I dunno. If you dislike those sweet and innocent girls you probably would not like the South

[Willy Woz]

I've never had a girlfriend...doubt I ever will.

Don't give up hope now, Mike. You're just a late bloomer.

[Willy Woz]

I don't know what you people are talking about with "innocent southern girls" and aww shucks wort of stuff, shut the hell up already, I've lived in both regions of the country while being an active member the game, the only real difference is the staggering abundance of girls who rate an 8 or above below the Mason-Dixon, in my personal experience and that of others there is no lack of good looking women in the south who are up for a good time in any and many capacities.

That wasn't what I said. There are just more of the innocent type in the South; maybe just in the rural South anyway - and Southern girls are definitely better.

[Willy Woz]

Honestly though this whole thread creeps me out.  What kind of person has to think about 'getting' a girlfriend?  These things just happen, lads, and you should damned well enjoy and appreciate the times you have to yourself.

Prostitues don't count as girlfriends, opebo.