Update XVIII: 15 Miles From Lunch

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

damn that caesar chicken sandwich does look good:



Unfortunately, Bushie doesn't like chicken. I guess he can have the caesar burger, but that's less appealing:

Yea, all you have to do is say it. 

"Chicken caesar." 

"Beef caesar."

I'll have the chicken, please. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I made it to work to begin Week 2 and Day 6.  I still have a moderate headache that is entering it's 9th day.  It refuses to leave...

Jesus [Inks]!  What the hell? 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie always has a headache, HockeyDude. He is genetically disposed to them, but unlike most people with this problem, he doubles down on high sugar consumption, dehydration, and a sedentary lifestyle to make sure his headaches are constant and as painful as possible because he loves them apparently.

There's definitely an S&M kink to Bushie's underlying character.

I knew that he had the genetic disposition and that he gets headaches often... but NINE DAYS?!  I would be demanding opiates, but Bushie's Christian faith probably disqualifies him from a lot of the harder pain drugs. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

It's sad that Lief has to post those parentheticals so our protagonist knows what we're talking about.

It's unfortunately easier to chalk it up to genetics than make a serious change in lifestyle.  I don't buy for a second that his doctor/nutritionist isn't horrified by his diet if he is in fact truthful to them about what he eats.  

I always wonder when Update has a diet episode what we can do or recommend to Bushie to improve what he puts into his body.  Unfortunately, even my recommendation of substituting ground beef with lean ground turkey (he even says he likes turkey) falls on deaf ears.  The mango thing?  I've completely given up on that one.  I've never met a person who didn't eat a fresh mango and didn't love it, but he would rather go to a chain and order chocolate cake to cure that sweet tooth.  

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Hi, guys, it is lunch time.  My head still hurts, but it's not severe and is not stopping me today.  We are starting to get our changes starting to trickle in.  We received changes for four buildings from a base out west.  The lead drafter is having me experiment with a few things on those bases until he can get back to me around 1500.  These experiments won't become permanent on the drawing, so no need to worry.

Bushie, improve my day by saying you are having just one sandwich and water for lunch. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I had all four taken out in 2003.  This headache has consistently been a Grade 4-6.  It's never been a major headache, but it's higher than my normal 2-3 Grade.

Is the grade classification an actual clinical medical thing or is it your own construct?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Hi, guys, it is lunch time.  My head still hurts, but it's not severe and is not stopping me today.  We are starting to get our changes starting to trickle in.  We received changes for four buildings from a base out west.  The lead drafter is having me experiment with a few things on those bases until he can get back to me around 1500.  These experiments won't become permanent on the drawing, so no need to worry.

Bushie, improve my day by saying you are having just one sandwich and water for lunch.

I'm not going to lie like that.  One sandwich plus water is jail food and would leave me starving and cause me to gorge myself on dinner.  That's an unreasonable request.

What is a sandwich to you?  A couple slices of ham between Wonder Bread?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

A 9 day headache sounds to me like the onset of a brain tumor.  Might want to get the Indians to check that for you.

Native Americans, Joe.  Your words are hurtful to Bushie : (

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Pat, I realize some inmates are buff.  I guess I could eat that little amount of food, but it would take a heck of a lot of patience and discipline realizing I will never satisfy the hunger.

Well, you could satisfy that hunger by filling your stomach with celery, broccoli, carrots, spinach, etc., etc. But a las.

I don't think any of us would be able to satisfy ourselves eating nothing but ham and bread. That's why you are fat and we're not.

Ham sandwich would be a lunch of last resort for me.  So unsatisfying when I know I could be eating something tastier and wholesome.  Unbelievable that instead of finding such a bland food insufficient for the actual reasons that make it a crappy lunch, you cure that by eating TWO of them. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

If Bushie got started on the path to righteousness, he wouldn't want to stop. If he just hunkered down and forced himself to eat vegetables with every meal for two weeks and walk 30 minutes every day for two weeks, 90% chances are he wouldn't have to force himself by week three. 

He has yet to take the first step in either regard in 32 years on Earth. He doesn't get that the reason he doesn't want to eat healthy and exercise is because he doesn't eat healthy and exercise. If he just tried, his body and taste buds would adjust.

The only way it changes is if someone were to intervene in his life in OKC. It's not going to happen over the internet. He's too far gone.

Mecha is his only hope. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

It's been years and years, Grumps.

YEARS since you've had steamed veggies or grilled fish?  Do you ever step back from your own perspective and realize that your diet is absurdly poor? 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I believe Bushie claimed his headaches were hereditary and his mother has had a headache since 1969...

This does happen to people, BTW, even those who don't have Jeff's eating habits.

Indeed, but eating a diet that would give you headaches regardless is not helping him.  This is like a nightly binge drinker complaining of headaches every morning and then saying they shouldn't change anything because their mom gets headaches, too.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Good Wednesday Morning!  My head really hurts today.  Headache is at a Grade 7.  I'm at work, though, even though I probably should be in bed with this headache

Will you make it through the day?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

http://www.theonion.com/video/new-wearable-feedbags-let-americans-eat-more-move,14238/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:NA:InFocus

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

breaking news: 1/2 of an inch of snow is possible in okc.

Now we can RIP job : (

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

You're ******.  It doesn't matter what your boss says, you're ******.  

Do you not understand that when you're a grown ass man and you have a job you just started that you don't go whining to your boss about a friggin headache?  

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie, stop trying to rationalize this.  No one made you go up to your boss and tell him about the headache.  If you had an ounce of determination and drive to do well in your new job you would've powered through your day, went home, drank some water, and went to bed.  Just because he's a nice guy and let you bounce early doesn't mean he didn't know exactly what you were trying to do.  "Oh, do you want me to stay and finish a few more"?  What a crock of [Inks].  You shouldn't have asked the question in the first place.  

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

breaking news: 1/2 of an inch of snow is possible in okc.

Now we can RIP job : (

I've actually gotten better driving in the snow since I spent two winters ago in Utah.  A half inch that will be gone by Monday is nothing.  That said, since I do have to drive 32 miles to work one way, my dad has asked me to spot nearby hotels for the heavier snow conditions as we get deeper into Winter.  Even though I'm better at driving, it would make no sense to drive 32 miles on icy roads.  My nerves would be shot and my parents' nerves would be shot...

How did this gem sneak by without any replies?

Oh jesus.  Does Papa Bushie have a death wish for his own retirement fund?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

It does seem that it costs Mama and Papa Bushie quite a lot of money to keep Bushie in jobs between all the hotels, gas money, schools, and phony job scams. It'd be a helluva lot cheaper for them to just accept that Bushie is completely unemployable and give him back the Train Room.

Gotta keep the Leave It To Beaver 50s Americana White Picket Fence dream going, memph. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie's sister in law likes all 4 posts from me on his fb.  Smart lady.

I wish her husband would be as hard on his brother as she is.  Bushie might respond to a bit of military discipline. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie's sister in law likes all 4 posts from me on his fb.  Smart lady.

I wish her husband would be as hard on his brother as she is.  Bushie might respond to a bit of military discipline. 

I've long believed that what Bushie needs the most in life is some to pull down his pants, put him over their knee, and give his butt a good, hard whupping.

To get full butt coverage would takes DAYS. 

RIP Spanker : (

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie's sister in law likes all 4 posts from me on his fb.  Smart lady.

I wish her husband would be as hard on his brother as she is.  Bushie might respond to a bit of military discipline.  

I've long believed that what Bushie needs the most in life is someone to pull down his pants, put him over their knee, and give his butt a good, hard whupping.

Bushie is truly The Bad Seed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ynkOa7EIs0

Ah... 1950s America.  Notice the triumphant and heroic music during the spanking as he screen fades to black.  And this was at the height of American economic and global domination!  No wonder we're so [Inks] up as a country.  

And yes, I've seen the breaking Update news on the Facialbooks.  RIP job.  Couldn't last two weeks until a headache derailed it all.  

And Bushie, for the love of Oklahoma Jesus would you please remove that photo of you and Allison with the Scrabble letters spelling out "friendship" below it?  **** man that's something a friggin 3 year old's parents or teacher would do with a girl he's friends with at ******* PRESCHOOL!  

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

BREAKING NEWS: Bushie is officially taking another day off from work.

He will be visiting his Indian doctor according to my sources (aka the facialbooks).

Don't worry his boss is "nice".  I just can't imagine what Bushie's resume looks like

I seriously hope he lies. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Good news in all of this is Bushie never made it long enough to move in with poor Grandma.

Yea, and it seemed like his moving in was planned to coincide with the 3 sets of company leaving.  Truly would've been a joke of the most cruel variety.  Could you imagine finally getting all those people out of the house to only see Bushie roll in, Braum's in hand, and promptly fall asleep in the recliner? 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

BREAKING NEWS: Bushie is officially taking another day off from work.

He will be visiting his Indian doctor according to my sources (aka the facialbooks).

Don't worry his boss is "nice".  I just can't imagine what Bushie's resume looks like

Ha! What a miserable load he is ... feels good enough to watch television all evening, but his headache is too bad to make it into work the next day.

I hope his doctor is deadly honest with him regarding his weight, diet and exercise habits (or lack thereof). Any doctor who allows Jeff to walk out the door without having the "death talk" with him and putting him on a strict plan should have his license revoked.

I can't believe that any legitimate doctor would not be mortified if Jeff is truthful.  Pushing 300 at 5'8" is absurd.  I weigh half that and undoubtedly have much more muscle than he does.