Update XVII: I Ate The Strawberry (The REAL, AUTHENTIC Update)

[King]

So did Bushie end up going on that long drive with Papa Bushie?

No I think he stayed home?? Mama and Papa went on the drive together and decided during the drive to un-invite him from the trip to Kansas City?? Not entirely clear.

Yes, a long drive, where they've decided to un-invite him permanently.

RIP Bushie.

[King]

But seriousness, Bushie do you parents and family members say demeaning things about retail and blue collar workers at the dinner table or something? Why are you avoiding the possibility of working at a place that isn't an office?

[King]

My old man told me this evening not to ever go back to customer service!!

[King]

Is Oklahoma one of those states where as long as you can pass the bar exam you don't need to go to law school to become an attorney? If so I wouldn't be surprised if soon Bushie talks about becoming a lawyer and how all he has to do is apply himself, blah blah and then spend $500 on some special training class and $300 to take the actual exam. Oh and probably think watching a Law & Order marathon would help.

Those states require you to do an internship at a firm and be endorsed by an attorney instead, where he'd undoubtedly fail even with the sleaziest ambulance chasers.

[King]

He's not that desperate. He's just applying for jobs with dreams of easy $$$. I bet this job posting promised "up to $25"/hour or something

[King]

Bushie, if you want to waste money on more education, just go and get a Master's in something. CAD(D), A+, insurance it's all w-o-r-t-h-l-e-s-s.

[King]

It's a certification exam for IT support. Another get rich quick scheme by Bushie. He thinks he's going to magically get an A on this test for a field he had no interest in entering 72 hours ago.

[King]

Everything I found on self-study for the A+ recommends buying a prep book, taking multiple different practice exams, and taking apart old computers and electronics for hands on guide. This is weeks to months process and Bushie thinks he'll take the test and get a 90% on it before they call him back.

[King]

But  Bushie YOU are the one applying for a job where a certification that you do not have, and likely will not have in 90 days is required.  And you call us crazy?

I've already got one certification from my time at Dell.  So, I know I can knock this out of the part, too.  Plus, if I get this certification, it will be another feather in my quill that I'll always have with me and will help me tremendously in future job openings.

This sounds like a far more serious certification than your one at Dell.

Bushie, if you want added education stop wasting your time on Get Rich Quick certificates and go get a Masters degree. You keep wasting little bits of money here and there on certificates that get you nowhere. Might as well go for the big dog.

[King]

Here's a job opportunity for you, Bushie! Bailey Medical Center in Tulsa is looking for a RN in their maternity ward.

http://www.hillcresthealthcaresystemjobs.com/work/job-post/rn-labor-delivery-bailey-medical-center-37765

All you need is to get a quick little RN certification and you'll be all set.

WE BELIEVE IN YOU FRIEND!

[King]

Because he knows we are right and he blows at CAD. Now he's trying to delude himself with yet another failed attempt to be a big shot genius with a big shot job.

[King]

Bushie, read the above post. You don't have 500 hours of experience in this field. Get out now.

[King]

Not gonna happen, King!!

You're right, Bushie. You're not going to gain 500 hours of work experience in this field. It's not gonna happen!!

[King]

I have to believe that I can do this

Why do you have to believe you can do this? Who gives a damn about this boring crap field you didn't even having an inkling of interest in 72 hours ago?

[King]

If you fail, you're out $188 and don't have a job. If you don't try at all, you're out $0 and may have a job somewhere else.

Oh, and if you succeed, you're out $188 and have a job in customer service where you'll undoubtedly get fired from in a month or so and be out of a job again with more worthless education.

It's a Lose^3 cube.

[King]

"Well, I failed as an optometrist, best try neurology!"

[King]

[King]

Thank god. Never pursue an A+ certification job again.

[King]

Bushie, you should become a bank teller. I did that for awhile. I didn't have experience to land it, though I did have "money handling" experience as a grocery store cashier that apparently helped.

Also, check into non-teaching education jobs.  I worked for the registrar office at a university for a bit. It was good easy data entry work.

Rather than stabbing blindly on job sites that might be filled with scams, I suggest making a list of nearby businesses and going directly to all of their own career sites.  Find a company you'd like to say you work for and find the easy looking job available.

Man... why do I keep getting duped into giving you advice?

[King]

I wonder if the studio will intervene and give us an Update: Love Conquers All ending

[King]

Bushie's life is one spa day after another.

[King]

A day spa trip for me is a nice hour long work out followed by a hot shower with some cool eucalyptus soap. Shame Bushie will never know this feeling.

[King]

Don't forget to have a green chile cheeseburger during your stay, friend.

[King]

Their heavy reliance on curing and caning in times of hardship also made them addicted to salt and fat with no taste for fruits or vegetables, which they passed on to their children even as it became unnecessary.

[King]

JMann, if Bushie movies to Kansas City, could you invent a job for him at your workplace $10/hr in something he won't possibly screw up?