Update XVII: I Ate The Strawberry (The REAL, AUTHENTIC Update)

[King]

Does the IHOP put a strawberry on the plate, Duke?

[King]

Wow, Jeffison split happened back in July? It feels like just yesterday...

[King]

No use wasting time with myfitnesspal if  you aren't going to eat any fruits or vegetables, friend. It really doesn't matter.

Might as well just eat what you want in portions you want if you're going to ignore fruits and vegetables.

[King]

Like all addictions, they're much needed after bad days and part of the celebration on good days.

I say he start pushing himself to eat as much as he can. Let's see how big he can get before he bursts. Go for the record books.

[King]

RIP Bushie

[King]

Despite the sad news and my heart hurting right now, I am very excited about Week 8 at work.  My boss on Thursday said he's been finding a lot of encouraging signs with my progress and that we may have found something.  I still make boneheaded mistakes every now and then, Thursday being one of them, but overall he is much more pleased than he was just a couple weeks ago.  If I can just eliminate the mistakes, and I know what to do, I should have no trouble staying on past November 1.  I'm pleased and he seems to be pleased.

Wait, what happened Thursday?

[King]

Or something is up with Grandma Bushie herself, isn't she almost 90?

I know the writers enjoy irony but I think they're crossing the line if they have Grandma Bushie die the same week Bushie declared her as knowing more about being healthy than anyone here.

[King]

Why are you being so vague? Is this like Eurydice or something? They live as long as you do not mention their name.

[King]

I'm not concerned about Mondale, I just don't want it to even have the chance of getting back to Facebook.  I'm being very vague on Facebook, as well.  This is at the wishes of this family member.

J.J.
Grandma Bushie

RIP Bushie's sister-in-law

She fought the good fight

[King]

The biggest mystery plot device since The Strawberry.

[King]

Perhaps the family bought a mirror and saw how they all looked for the first time.

[King]

Skipping work?  RIP job

[King]

Well all I know is you better get your butt to work and not miss a single day because of this. You are still on thin ice there.  Family will understand if just tell them your boss doesn't want you take time off. 

[King]

I still can't say anything, as I haven't been given permission, yet,

Are you like 6 years old or something?

In dog years.

[King]

[King]

Have you been to Fuddrucker's Bushie? Great cheeseburgers for a chain.

[King]

Yes! Please visit and give a thorough review.

[King]

With this situation, football has been my release mechanism.

Come on, Bushie, you've watched just as much football the last three weekends without any situation to release.

[King]

"Release mechanism", "Cleaning up the meat", "Loving on kids", etc.  Why do so many Update-isms sound like sexual innuendo?

Because in the Chaste Kingdom of Oklahoma, naughty innuendo from elsewhere takes it's literal meaning.

[King]

Dang that's a good looking burger. What is that, pulled pork?

•  Fire-roasted double cheeseburger, $15: Angus chuck and Angus brisket topped with garlic aioli, aged cheddar and caramelized balsamic onions.

 http://www.star-telegram.com/2014/09/05/6095846/att-stadium-goes-full-flavor-with.html

Also, regarding traffic, to quote wikipedia

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Yeah, Bushie wants none of that public transportation nonsense.

But seriously I hope he treats himself to a real specialty burger at Fuddrucker's and not just bacon.

[King]

did a google search for "loving on kids" this was a top result:

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=69870423

Interests
Jesus    Worship
Missions
Loving on kids   
Cooking

Sounds like a match. Need to get Bushie to move to Alberta

[King]

So, since giving Bushie a negative performance review, despite his self-reported improvement, Bushie's boss in action has cut his Friday hours for two weeks in a row and told him to take a whole week off when he asked for a day for his uncle's funeral...

RIP Uncle, RIP Job.

[King]

I've never known you to be worried a day in your life, Bushie.

That's why I'm worried.

[King]

3) Ugh, he's back.

[King]

Sadly, he's going to ignore this, Focus on Focusing, and be completely shocked when he gets let go on November 1st.