Comedy Goldmine XI: The Atlas Forum Demilitarized Zone

[King]

Bayh! '10 is my guardian. he emailed me.

[King]

And why he doesn't belong on a political forum:

Karl Marx? who?

[King]

All the President's Men.

Really liked it. Very exciting, for a movie about newspaper reporters. The acting was superb and I really enjoyed the directing as well, with a lot of very interesting shots. The splicing in of historical footage and news reports was also done well (though, at the time, I suppose the footage wasn't that historical, having happened only a few years before).

Any film that belittles our great President Richard Nixon isn't something I wanna see...

Especially one that uses historical footage and news reports to help belittle.

[King]

I don't get it.. you mean like Rick Astley?

I always thought of it as 'oliver'.. as in O. Pebo..  Or perhaps opebo could be the first name, and I'm from West Africa:

[King]

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/opebo/

Robert Stark has performed a valuable public service for these fora. I never though I'd live to see this.
Hilarious, and you know the man himself created the page. It's half-proof that he exists like this in real life.

This has got to be phoney but still hilarious.

Nah, the profile was created in 2004. It is DEFINATLY him.

Why?  Did we date?

[King]

Admit it.....she doesn't know you're here.

um... ya she does. and she thinks that I SHOULD be on here you twit.

Let's show her some opebo posts and we'll see what she thinks.

and before that happens I'll clobber you in two.

[King]

I was hoping someone would notice that.

    Yeah, that's a pretty good one.

Agreed. I have no idea why some posts appear with the telephone image to begin with.

lol

[King]

It's possible to post with the phone icon without being on a phone. I do it quite frequently.

For what logical reason would you feel the need to do that?

Alibi

[King]

I'm a lightbulb man myself.

[King]

We have been attached before.

We have?

I don't remember this bondage incident.  I must have been drunk.

You weren't drunk, it's called the Bradley effect.

[King]

im stocking up can goods.

one can never feel too safe in a world full of kurds.

[King]

That entire thread pretty much belongs in here...

Larry Craig takes a wide stance on this issue.

[King]

One time, this kid (we'll call him Person A) I knew told this other kid I knew (Person B), "Why don't you just fuck me in the ass?"...as if it was supposed to be an insult to Person B. Almost like "Why don't you just kiss my ass?"

Well, what was his answer?

[King]

Regarding SpongeBob Squarepants:

... the complete lack of animated depiction of heterosexual fornication tend to suggest an atmosphere of homosexuality.

[King]

Here's a likely possibility :

In 2013 Illegal aliens are deported, Arizona, Texas and other border states  stop trending to the left.

I have a feeling JewishConservative's mom was the fat blond woman that went up to protest David Letterman in New York.

[King]

You weren't the first to make that comparison, you know.

Yeah, he was just the first to get the pictures off Google Ima... oh wait, that was me.

He's just the first to get credit for the comparison.

[King]

I said it signified your typical MIDDLE CLASS town, anyone that makes less than $25k can certainly under no circumstances be considered "middle-class"

46% of households make at least $50k, so you make my point exactly that the average of these people (who for the most part constitute the middle class) is near $80,000

The average middle class when you consider how expensive New Jersey is, is around $80,000.  Average upper class would exceed household income of $120,000, average lower class would be less than $40,000.

I never once claimed that the average household made $80,000, but rather that a median income of $80,000 considering the high cost of New Jersey, constitute a typical middle class town.  That graph proves my point

New Jersey's median household income is 67,035 and the poverty rate is 8.5%.  So, $80,000 median and <4% poverty town would be upper middle class at the worst.

Upper middle class really isn't the uninsured demographic.

[King]

Also, the uninsured rate in New Jersey is 17%.  So, if your town doesn't have any, then it's on the high end of the spectrum.

[King]

My my, this discussion has certainly been a suitably hilarious and worthy addition to the Goldmine.

I find it hilarious.

[King]

Lean Straight. Semi Bi.

click for context

I don't see anything funny about that. Not everyone who isn't 100% straight is a flaming liberal who thinks prop 8 is the worst thing since the holocaust.

Stark, you're an idiot, you know that?

We got Stark to recognize the holocaust.  Let's take that win in stride.

[King]

PM:   We cannot begin to teach our childrens because of the evil influence of Beelzebub, the Lord of the Flies, and yea verily the insidious working of his foul spawn, Beelzebarack Hussein Osama.  For hath the Lord not said these children of the Nephilim bear the mark of Cain.

KOTB:  Dude. Chill.  Not all those spooks are bad dudes.  Seriously.  I lift with a black dude and he's really cool.  Brother can bench 450 dude.

PM:   Thou hast been decieved by the minions of the prince of darkness.  Yea, for hath the Lord not said he IS the prince of DARKness. Canst thou not see that DARKIES are from darkness?  Indeed, hath not Charlie Murphy prophesied... "Darkness Time TWO"?

KOTB:  Oh dude.  I almost forgot, dude.  I dated this bitch named Murphy.  Forget her first name but wow.  She put out dude.  Once she saw what I could bench, she was all mine.  I got her once in the pink and twice in the stink.  High five, dude!

[King]

In reference to a Minor Threat song:

Who the hell listens to this emo crap?

I think this belongs at the Comedy Goldmine on a DudeFest forums.

[King]

JC reached that Bob Dole level of "Post Directly Into the Goldmine Plz" upon his "final" days.

[King]

Top 4 : Oregon, Nevada, New Jersey, and shockingly Vermont

Israel, Ireland, Russia, and the Dominican? What a terrible taste in countries.

[King]

Why do all five year olds (and Mike Naso) think they'll be President someday?

And why do they think the President has the power to kick a state out of the union?