Opinion of The Onion

[Pheurton Skeurto]

I have compiled a list of 24 Onion articles that I just laughed so hard at that there are literal tears in my eyes. Enjoy.

Archaeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race Of Skeleton People

Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday

Kim Jong-Il's Approval Rating Plummets To 120%

Sudanese 14 Year Old Has Midlife Crisis

Mormon Family Trying To Ignore Dog's Huge Boner

School Bully Not So Tough Since Being Molested

Ceiling Fan's One Burning Ambition To Come Loose And Murder Everyone In Denny's

Fun Toy Banned Because Of Three Stupid Dead Kids

God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boy

Mumford And Sons Can't Believe They All Got Each Other Mandolins For Christmas

Special Olympics T-Ball Stand Pitches Perfect Game

Black Guy Asks Nation For Change

Jurisprudence Fetishist Gets Off On Technicality

African-American Neighborhood Terrorized By Ask Murderer

New Heart Device Allows Cheney To Experience Love

Free-Thinking Cat Sh-ts Outside The Box

I'm Like A Chocoholic But For Booze

War On String May Be Unwinnable, Says Cat General

Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys

Redskins' Kike Owner Refuses To Change Team's Offensive Name

National Funk Congress Deadlocked On Get Up/Get Down Issue

Supreme Court Rules Supreme Court Rules

Supreme Court Overturns Car

Johnson & Johnson Introduces 'Nothing But Tears' Shampoo To Toughen Up Newborns