The PA 13 Brigade is ready

[Keystone Phil]

PA 13 leader Keystone Phil news conference

Good evening, everyone. I have one thing to say: We are ready to fight the Southeast if need be. Thank you. Now for questions.

Reprtr John Engle - Do you hve Fir in ur bones?

Keystone Phil - Yes, we do.


Reporter Jim - You claim to be the PA 13 leader. What happened to Congresswoman Allyson Schwartz?

Keystone Phil - I don't know her. Next...

Reporter Bob - Do you have any reports on who has been banned from the PA 13 army?

Keystone Phil - Flyers2006 has been banned from the army. Thank you for your time everyone.

PA 13 is ready for the Southeast!

[Keystone Phil]

Will Allyson Schwartz and Melissa Brown be your mascots?

I don't know a Allyson Schwartz. We won't have mascots, either. Our banner will be the map of the great PA 13. We will fight with vigor an decisiviness for the Republic!

[Keystone Phil]

(The PA 13 Brigade moves to Wendy's to get something to eat before the war)

Keystone Phil - I want a double cheeseburger with cheese and fries.

[Keystone Phil]

Keystone Phil - I want a double cheeseburger with cheese and fries.

By the way, the double cheeseburger with cheese is not redundant. The extra cheese will be used in battle.

[Keystone Phil]

The NJ-3 brigade is currently heading north, northeast on the Walt Whitman.

Crossing through PA 1 and PA 2 is a real pain this time in the evening.

[Keystone Phil]

Theres traffic, were coming. We are going to be late though, he had to stop at Ritas for a Fudge Brownie and Swirl Ice Cream Gelati.

Pick me up a large banana gelati (with chocolate ice cream).

[Keystone Phil]

Theres traffic, were coming. We are going to be late though, he had to stop at Ritas for a Fudge Brownie and Swirl Ice Cream Gelati.

Pick me up a large banana gelati (with chocolate ice cream).

Its going to be $2.64

I'm not paying. I'm running the show. Hurry up!

[Keystone Phil]

This brigade will win us the war!?!?!?!

No water ice for him, MAS.

[Keystone Phil]

I bet you're stuck in traffic on the Roosevelt Boulevard, General MAS.




Sorry about the signs we still have left over from last year!

[Keystone Phil]

Were still coming Phil! Sorry we stopped over for desert from Tony Luke's at Pat's. We eat had some beer and passed out. Don't give up on us!

We will begin movement toward the Mason-Dixon tomorrow afternoon. If you're late, we are sending you to PA 2 (and you don't want to be there too long. It's scary!)

[Keystone Phil]

*phew*.....jeez....hold on a sec, lemme catch my breath for a sec............................*cough*............hold on......*phew*.

OH-03 Loyal Brigade reporting for...*phew*.....duty.  Sorry for being a little late.

Anyway, we've arrived here in CA-13, and there's nobody here.  Have you guys left already?

We will leave later this evening because that idiot from NJ 3 has yet to arrive...and he lives just across the Delaware River...

[Keystone Phil]

*phew*.....jeez....hold on a sec, lemme catch my breath for a sec............................*cough*............hold on......*phew*.

OH-03 Loyal Brigade reporting for...*phew*.....duty.  Sorry for being a little late.

Anyway, we've arrived here in CA-13, and there's nobody here.  Have you guys left already?

We will leave later this evening because that idiot from NJ 3 has yet to arrive...and he lives just across the Delaware River...

If you haven't noticed the whole crisis is over. MAS was so late that you missed everything.

I did notice. We're....uh....just going on a vacation to the Mason Dixon Line.

[Keystone Phil]

What do you mean it's all over?

We decided to take alittle vacation. In fact, I really don't know if there is going to be a war or not. If there is, we'll fight. Otherwise, get our the beach chairs.