Comedy Goldmine VII: Straight-to-DVD Christmas Special

[Keystone Phil]

Goes to prove my point that liberals are always out to help bad people.

[Keystone Phil]

Nice burn. Sorry, Sam.... 

What color is the sky?

be patient, spade.

we'll see.

[Keystone Phil]

The Owning of an Idiot - https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=83751.15

Yes! The Obama hacks/trolls hate Walter!

I'd take it as the best compliment.

[Keystone Phil]

The Owning of an Idiot - https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=83751.15

Yes! The Obama hacks/trolls hate Walter!

I'd take it as the best compliment.

You really think all of us are hacks and trolls? That's just stupid.

Many of you are.

[Keystone Phil]

i was born and raised in virginia (lean mccain).

[Keystone Phil]

The Owning of an Idiot....

Woohoo!

uh.  brtd for whom did you vote in 2004?

i voted bush.

voted for him in 2000 too.

[Keystone Phil]

The Owning of a Philadephian:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/black_guy_asks_nation_for_change

You've only linked to that a dozen times now.

Twice.

Haha. I love when the seven (or is he eight now?) year old gets owned.

Funny on so many levels.

...

How was I owned? You didn't even say anything in response.

[Keystone Phil]

You don't know that Mike Naso's name is...Mike Naso?

Or is it?

[Keystone Phil]

With amazing rises like Palin and Obama, my bet is on Georgia State Senator Virgil Fludd for 2012:

[Keystone Phil]

I think we will break 50%, but I also think he will lose

Obama 50.22%
McCain 49.14%
Others .76%

Barr will be lucky to get .5% and Nader to get .2%

Is that only funny because it adds up to 100.12%, or do you think the prediction's funny too?

I think the point is that he said Obama would lose after breaking 50% of the vote.

[Keystone Phil]

I think we will break 50%, but I also think he will lose

Obama 50.22%
McCain 49.14%
Others .76%

Barr will be lucky to get .5% and Nader to get .2%

Is that only funny because it adds up to 100.12%, or do you think the prediction's funny too?

I think the point is that he said Obama would lose after breaking 50% of the vote.

Obama's campaign is "we" to him now?

Who the hell knows? I guess. He clearly shows Obama as the one breaking 50%.

[Keystone Phil]

I think we will break 50%, but I also think he will lose

Obama 50.22%
McCain 49.14%
Others .76%

Barr will be lucky to get .5% and Nader to get .2%

Is that only funny because it adds up to 100.12%, or do you think the prediction's funny too?

I think the point is that he said Obama would lose after breaking 50% of the vote.

Obama's campaign is "we" to him now?

Who the hell knows? I guess. He clearly shows Obama as the one breaking 50%.

Meaning he did his math badly, which is part of the humor.

Nevermind

[Keystone Phil]

I have similar sad women feelings, too man.

I was at my mother's wedding reception, and decided to take pleasure in dancing with every attractive woman there, flirting, ect. Not to brag (trust me, I'm insecure) I probably danced and flirted with up to a dozen women, and they seemed to like me, but the ones I liked the best (who were the oldest) constantly were saying, "I'm too old for you" or "You're too young for me". The mother of a girl who went to school with my younger sister was there...offered me to come outside so she could have a cigarette...she's mentioning how her "husband is away" and mentioning where her car is, ect. Then, she wanted to go back in...I guess I was looking at it the wrong way, you know? I asked her to dance, and she said, "I'm too old for you."

Add to this that tons of the best women are MARRIED...it sucks. I'm dancing with this 41 year old beauty in a tight dress, dark pantyhose and high heels, brown hair, sexy as hell...and I sang along to "Don't Stop Believin'" and she yelled out, "I can't believe you know the words!"

All this talk of divorce in the world...and every woman I meet is married. I was invited to a bar by a hot 31 year old that I danced to "(I've Had) the Time of My Life" with. (They liked me because I thought they were college-aged friends when they were actually a young mother and teenage daughter duo).

Where are all those "I am 35 and want a 20 year old stud for a few months" women? Is it fair that a 40 year old guy could date a 20 year old woman...but a 40 year old woman refuses to be intimate with a 20 year old guy?

My friends, life isn't fair.

Oh. My. God. One of the best posts in a long time. I don't know where to begin. The sad thing is that Naso thinks that this is a serious hardship.

I bolded my favorite parts.

[Keystone Phil]

when you look for women, don't try to hard. We can spell it.

     This is instant goldmine material, just because of the misspelling.

sorry my bad.

     Not at all. It made my day.

well then, you days must be wonerful cause i can't spell for sh**t.

Just run outside, meet on your mutual neighbor's lawn and make out already, children.

[Keystone Phil]

Ladies and gentlemen, yet another modern day Romeo and Juliet on our forum!

[Keystone Phil]

Mike Naso is my hero...

Gov. Sarah Palin was re-elected Governor of Alaska in 2010 (a year in which Republicans made some small but sizeable gains).

[Keystone Phil]

Mike Naso is my hero...

Gov. Sarah Palin was re-elected Governor of Alaska in 2010 (a year in which Republicans made some small but sizeable gains).

this is in the vein of the time you said Naso said he believes in "Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints"

And that Jesus "rose from the ashes."

Mike Naso is my hero...

Gov. Sarah Palin was re-elected Governor of Alaska in 2010 (a year in which Republicans made some small but sizeable gains).

this is in the vein of the time you said Naso said he believes in "Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints"

I don't recall any such quote.

LOL Right, Naso. Right.

[Keystone Phil]

Let's just say...Keystone Phil as a mob boss.

Let's not. I'm not filth/cold hearted.

[Keystone Phil]

sununu i want to punch him like santorum but hes nto as bad as rick who deserves a kick everyday.

[Keystone Phil]

I tried Wal-Mart. I tried K-Mart. I tried the Dollar Store. I tried Circle K.

No ****ing Yoo-Hoo. This is the type of thing that will occur in an Obama-Biden Administration. They will say, "Drink Passion fruit, not Yoo-Hoo".

Think about it America. Think.

His other comments in the thread - https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=85200.0 - were great as well.

[Keystone Phil]

I don't know what this is supposed to mean but...

It's really just a dumb average that gets lucky.  Rove isn't doing anything special.

Why you gotta get up in hiz grill? This ain't no BBQ!

[Keystone Phil]

This one was puzzling...

something to think about I don't think America has ever had an Italian catholic president

Especially odd since we obviously haven't had an Italian - American President at all.

[Keystone Phil]

Italian people can't become President.  They'll do well in the polls out of fear (the Godfather Effect), but in the end they will vote against them.

LOL.

Yeah, that was a good one.

[Keystone Phil]

There is jizz all over my keyboard from watching these last 3 games at Fenway.

[Keystone Phil]

To hell with Obama, I say, and let the orphans live.

I bet Obama says "Allah bless me" (or "social and economic justice bless me") after he sneezes.