Comedy Goldmine VII: Straight-to-DVD Christmas Special

[Keystone Phil]

Seeing I have no idea what he believes on anything...no.

Aren't you 13? Isn't "Eureka's Castle" on?

[Keystone Phil]

Click for context (it's not what you think)!

I REALLY hope a lot of blacks show up!

[Keystone Phil]

Misleading.  Single digits usually means no more than 4-5.

Nice math

[Keystone Phil]

I mean, when you write utter bullshit like this...

McCain down 7 when he is down 6-8 nationally.  That is an amazing performance and shows how weak Obama really is in the state.

Bush never performed this well in relation to the national average.  In a normal year for Republicans McCain carries the state.

How can you live with yourself knowing that you are so dishonest [qm]. Worse; that all this pathetic Squealerish dishonesty is ultimately meaningless. The election is next week.

What's the problem you British prick? Where is the dishonesty in my comment? 

I actually laughed out loud.

It's so true!

[Keystone Phil]

should I place a TWO obama bumper stickers on my car, one on the front bumper and one on the back?  or should I just roll down the windows and jam to Stevie Wonder's Ebony&Ivory?

[Keystone Phil]

Quote of Election day:

I drove past four precincts to get lunch.  The only line I saw was that KFC. 

[Keystone Phil]

Lay off the sex scenes a little.

Uh...we're dealing with Mike Naso here.

Oh...I'm sorry, Phil. Let me add in this paragraph:

Newspaper headline reads "PA SENATOR IN HOT WATER OVER BEASTIALITY".

[Keystone Phil]

Where is the "none of the above" option?  Any use of the five categories, in my opinion, shows one's immaturity.

Having said that, I'm not exactly innocent myself, though.  Most of the time if I swear, I will use Cathartic Swearing.  However, I always do it in private.  I NEVER swear around others.  Even after I do it in private, I feel so remorseful and have to ask my God for forgiveness.

Believe me, I hate cussing, because it comes out of the same mouth I use to sing praises to God.

I'm not trying to preach here, I'm just explaining my thoughts and own experiences on the matter.

LOL @ religious/people that are different!

[Keystone Phil]

Where is the "none of the above" option?  Any use of the five categories, in my opinion, shows one's immaturity.

Having said that, I'm not exactly innocent myself, though.  Most of the time if I swear, I will use Cathartic Swearing.  However, I always do it in private.  I NEVER swear around others.  Even after I do it in private, I feel so remorseful and have to ask my God for forgiveness.

Believe me, I hate cussing, because it comes out of the same mouth I use to sing praises to God.

I'm not trying to preach here, I'm just explaining my thoughts and own experiences on the matter.

LOL @ religious/people that are different!

I'm a religious.

Right

As someone who is religious, you wouldn't find that comment worth mocking.

[Keystone Phil]

Damn it, guys, seriously.  How hard is it to not violate the "no arguments in Comedy Goldmine" rule?  It's mostly the same 4-5 people over and over again.  This is no longer a rhetorical question.  Seriously, how hard is it?

I'm one of the biggest proponents of the "No arguments here!" rule but I can abuse it whenever I want to. I'm a hypocrite. Jeeze.

[Keystone Phil]

I'm a hypocrite.

How long til that turns up in a signature? Bets are still being accepted...

I've done it plenty of times before and I'm shocked that it hasn't appeared yet. 

[Keystone Phil]

I fail to see what's liberal about Obama.

[Keystone Phil]

Keystone Phil also said I had an "arrogant swagger", something I have heard many people mention regarding our 43rd President, George Walker Bush.