Post the map of an election between the two preceding posters

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JBrase performs well in the southern and plains states due to being more of a 'real American' than his opponent. However, Snowstalker's economic progressivism allows him to win several critical swing states and ultimately carry the day.

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Snowstalker: 460 electoral votes
Hashemite: 78 electoral votes

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Tmth: 435 electoral votes
A-Bob: 103 electoral votes

Tmth wins with 65% of Democrats, 55% of Independents, and 50% of Republicans.

[Mopsus]

The election between Senators Terrance Nelson Fitzgerald of the Workers' Party and Barry Goldwater III of the Owners' Party offered one of the sharpest contrasts in the history of American Presidential elections. Extending beyond economics, the ideological gulf between the two candidates manifested itself in foreign policy as well, with Senator Goldwater arguing the America must take an interventionist role in world affairs if it is to promote its own economic interests, as well as the interests of human rights. Senator TNF, on the other hand, decried practically all military intervention as imperialism, going so far as to use the slogan "No War but the Class War". Even on social issues, where the two candidates more or less agreed in practice, there was a substantial difference in approach: Senator Goldwater embraced bourgeois liberal morality, while Senator TNF argued that social policy must be subordinate to economic policy. 

In the end, a significant number of voters felt that they were not represented by either candidate, contributing to the map that you see below:

Senator Barry Goldwater III: 249 Electoral Votes
Senator Terrance Nelson Fitzgerald: 249 Electoral Votes
NOTA: 40 Electoral Votes

As you can see, each candidate received exactly the same number of votes in the Electoral College. Since neither had a majority, the election is thrown to the House of Representatives. What happens now is anyone's guess...

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When the Democrats nominated an avowed socialist and active tumblr user at their July convention, most observers were convinced that the Republican Party stood no chance of winning in hostile media coverage; however, not to give up without a fight, the Grand Old Party involuntarily drafts a 14-year-old Democrat.

Addendum: After the courts realized that neither candidate was ever actually eligible to President, the highest office in the land is handed over to a reluctant Paul Ryan.