The Federalist Party of Atlasia: February 2014 Convention

[HagridOfTheDeep]

Greetings to all the fine Federalists throughout Atlasia.

I am a registered Independent.

Under the Federalist constitution, would I be able to caucus with the Federalists and participate in your conventions, party votes and primary votes?    

I don't believe so. I had not joined until recently when I found out I could not run for the nomination if I wasn't a registered federalist. You must be a member to vote in the primary.

Whoever told you that gave you false information based on an error Maxwell made while copying over the latest by-law amendments to the wiki. You had our endorsement last time, and the by-laws haven't really changed between then and now... I mean, it's not a big deal... but if you were pressured into joining for purely logistical reasons, that's not really fair. I thought you had joined to signal that you were ready to identify with us, so I didn't really think twice about it.

[HagridOfTheDeep]

Yep.

Pretty sad that the Federalist Party by-laws are the last thing I'm an expert on in this game. And not for long.

[HagridOfTheDeep]

Ballot for President/Vice Presidential Nomination:
[1] Duke/Matt from VT*
[2] Reaganfan/Spiral

Ballot for Mideast Senate Nomination:
[1] JCL
[2] DC Al Fine*

[HagridOfTheDeep]

I suppose being a key torch bearer at this convention I should probably address my primary vote for TNF, whom some in the crowd have referred to as "a Kenyan Muslim Socialist." To understand this problem as with any problem, we must first have a history lesson: this lesson is going back a long time, all the way to the beginning as a matter of fact. In the beginning when Ronald Reagan created the Earth, and created a way for men to enrich themselves and He looked down on all of the bankers, economists, small business owners, and CEO's, and said "this is good." Then one day during lunch break Reagan told his chief economic policy advisor, we'll call this man "Adam" for the purposes of privacy. Adam and his secretary who he also happened to be "plowing the fields with" we'll call her "Eve," one day after they were done with one of their "plowing" sessions, Reagan gave very specific instructions to Adam. "Do not invest in that life insurance company Tree of Life, sure their stocks may be soaring at the moment, but in the near future their stocks will take a dive, and since so many trust your investments, Adam, because you're my financial policy guy y'know, duh easy choice, invest with God's guy. Anyway since so many trust your steady investment hand, if you invest, many will invest, and when the crash happens a disaster will take place. So Adam accompanied Eve home that night, and it just so happened that the two of them walked right past the "Tree of Life" corporate headquarters that night, and the lights were on.

A man came out from inside and confronted Eve while Adam bought a Big Mac. "Good evening, Eve." Eve was stricken. Not by his naturally attractiveness, but by something deeper than that. The man had a certain whim about him, a certain cunning crafty sexiness about him. The man had a long gray beard and spoke with a German accent. "Eve, we can offer you a deal on investment like no other." Eve spoke with the man for 20 minutes and was amazed at this offer. It was a very low cost for a very high chance of significant payoff down the road. Adam then returned with mustard all over his face, tie, hair, pants, shoes, and socks. Eve showed Adam the dossier with the investment deal that the man had just offered them. Adam was astonished, he quickly signed the papers, and just like that they were owners of Tree of Life Life Insurance. Adam then shook the man's hand and inquired whom he had the pleasure of dealing with: "name's Marx; Karl Marx." Suddenly Marx disappeared and Reagan appeared to Adam and Eve.

Reagan looked at them and realized that Adam's tie and Eve's dress had changed color, they had changed from a certain blue ocean color, to deep, deep red. Reagan calmly asked the man: "Adam why has your tie changed to a deep, deep red?" "Well, Mr. Reagan, I signed a deal and a man touched my chest changing the color of my tie." "There is only one man that can change someone's tie red. That man is Karl Marx, and his only intention is to rid My World of the glorious system of capitalism. Do you have any idea what you have done? His life insurance company wasn't even a real insurance company. It's only purpose was to serve as one giant ponzi scheme to bankrupt our people so that they would rebel against me and capitalism! And embrace his vision for the world, a vision where the government is taken over by a tyrannical operation of thugs and criminals where they force us to give them our hard earned money! A vision known as socialism. You are no longer one of mine, instead you shall labor in the fields with those rats that we pay $7.25/hour to toil the fields! GET OUT OF MY PRESENCE! Now let us fast forward to the present days. What does that documented historical event even have to with what we are dealing with today? Well I'll tell you. Sure TNF is a Kenyan Muslim Socialist who wasn't born in America, but in some ways he is much better than many others. First he loves trucks, and he is pro fracking: those sound like Murican positions to me. Also: he is extremely pro gun. Hell Dianne Feinstein wouldn't touch this guy with a 10 foot poll. And while his economics may be a bit questionable, I think Reagan would say "hell, this guy's pretty chill, I'm gonna smoke weed, and drink a beer with him." Much like he did with Adam before, well, ya know. Thank you for allowing me to explain my vote, and may Reagan bless this nation, and this convention.

Ridiculous.

[HagridOfTheDeep]

Also...

[1] Lumine
[  ] TNF

[HagridOfTheDeep]

Although we are in the interesting position of having a chairman on leave of absence, no vice chairman, and no secretary. So I'm not sure when these votes will get counted.

Slight déjà vu...

[HagridOfTheDeep]

Yes. A similar situation basically destroyed the Whig Party back in the fall of 2012, so I included a section for succession snafus in our by-laws. I'm on my phone now so it's difficult to hunt down the exact wording, but I was looking at the by-laws just yesterday... So I am positive we have a prescription for a solution.

If we find ourselves in the position of having no leaders, our senior-most senator will be in charge of running elections to fill the vacancies. That would be Yankee. He's aware of this responsibility, but I think he's waiting until the election is over, which kind of makes sense. Don't need any hubbub or distractions. I know the candidates are working hard to get out the vote, do the ship is still running as smoothly as possible under the circumstances. It's all good.

[HagridOfTheDeep]

I guess a loose interpretation of our by-laws could maybe let Yankee run an endorsement vote...

[HagridOfTheDeep]

Maybe run them side-by-side? It's a strange situation...

[HagridOfTheDeep]

I can.

[HagridOfTheDeep]

[  ] Adam Griffin (LAB-DE)
[2] Cincinnatus (I-NY)
[1] Lumine (PRO-MT)
[3] Poirot (I-NY)

[HagridOfTheDeep]

Yeah, Cinci is right. Automatic endorsements occur after a set time (we don't want to automatically endorse a bunch of candidates for just one seat... the timeline allows us to run primaries in the case of multiple Federalist candidates or hold an endorsement vote if none run). Had JCL remained in the race, he would have been automatically endorsed. The endorsement vote in this thread began after he withdrew. 

That being said, I do appreciate the desperation y'all must be feeling to come in here and ruffle  feathers. Reminds me of my strategy with the CARCA (?) thread. Good times.

[HagridOfTheDeep]

If the government does it, it's not illegal.

[HagridOfTheDeep]

With the registrar general officially accepting registrants in Canada, I believe it's time for this party  to properly recognize the contributions of Atlasians living in Canada by holding our convention in Calgary, Alberta, a huge conservative stronghold to our north.

[HagridOfTheDeep]

Can we maybe once have a convention not in the South?

[  ] Denver, CO
[  ] Little Rock, AR
[  ] Seattle, WA
[3] Baltimore, MD
[1] Calgary, AB
[  ] Charleston, SC
[2] Milwaukee, WI
[4] Portsmouth, NH