Sgt. Atlas' Lonely Hearts Club Band: Dating and Personals Ads Thread

[Crumpets]

One of my favorite and least favorite episodes of the Big Bang Theory is the one where Sheldon creates a series of puzzles and posts them online to find someone who shares the same interests as him. So, inspired by that, here's the first clue for all the single ladies out there:

HARHARHAR, the closest Atlas woman is probably hundreds of miles away from me.

Iirc there used to be a German woman posting on Atlas waay back in the day; but I think she got banned? Makes me wonder how many women have been banned in Atlas history lol

Other than that I guess we have 1-2 female UK posters?

Evergreen?

Maybe politicus. I don't know if she's German, though, but she was banned a long time ago.

I know for a fact Evergreen was German. Politicus, I think was almost certainly Scandanavian of some form, or at least exuded that vibe. But I can't speak with 100% certainty.

I'm pretty sure Politicus was from Denmark, or at least lived in Denmark.

[Progressive Pessimist]

I hate myself, so I've always found it difficult to make one of these on real dating sites. If I did make one it would probably be nothing but me pointing out things that my prospective date would need to prepare herself for. But I kind of hate the concept of online dating anyway, so it's not the biggest deal in the world.

But to hell with it, I'll try one here attempting to be as positive as possible:

Single white male seeking just about any woman who would want to watch bad movies with him and put up with a dry, self-deprecating sense of humor and idiosyncratic borderline obsessions with novelty candy and soda, exotic fruit, and pigs.

I'm a real catch, aren't I?

Look, if your purpose was to get attention by making yourself seem pathetic, I suppose you did a fairly good job of that. The idea that this is "as positive as possible" is an obvious lie, though, whether you believe it or not.

I dislike dating apps and think that they are basically bad for society, but I understand that now most people have few other options and I have known some success stories. Sometimes I find myself in a position to comment on the profiles of friends of mine who are interested in women. The first thing I always tell them is to find a woman they trust and have her make whatever changes she sees fit, but most of them don't have anyone to do that for them, which is why they're discussing it with me in the first place. For that case, I do have advice, which maybe some of the young people on this site can use.

The single biggest issue that men make in their profiles is to be too self-deprecating. My sense is that this is because men are unaccustomed to thinking about being perceived in the way that dating apps require, and self-deprecation is a coping device to ease the tension. Anyway, self-deprecation works with people who know you because they know you and already know your positive qualities and when you're being ironic. Somebody who has never met you and knows nothing about you doesn't know what you're being ironic about, and when they have hundreds of profiles to swipe through it's not worth their while to find out. Humility and modesty are great personal qualities that you can show that you have later; they are absolutely not qualities that you can introduce yourself with. Your profile needs to set out what your positive qualities actually are, and if your positive qualities aren't in what your face looks like then you'll need to use your words to do it.

Alright, take it easy. Jeez! This was indeed ironic. And I have no intention of ever using it as a real means of meeting dates online, here or anywhere else...and especially here. As I said, I don't like online dating and probably will never engage in it anyway.

Though it is true that I enjoy bad movies, candy, pigs, and soda.

[brucejoel99]

Just a John seeking his Yoko or Nick seeking his Priyanka. Must have the intellectual capacity to understand the jokes on Family Guy.

No lowballers - I know what I have.

At least you’re not a John seeking his Cynthia

And no, I’m not gonna do this.

Screw the John's seeking their Yoko's or their Cynthia's, there ought to be a John seeking his May on here.

[muon2]

This topic or something like it comes up every couple of years. So why not post my Sep 2019 repost of a  Sep 2017 post in Sep this year?

I am not merely over 40, but over 60. I would be the digital equivalent of the grizzly prospector in an old Western compared to the digital settlers and natives that make up most of the characters here, as I have been coding since 1969 and online since 1971.

A couple of years ago there was a thread titled AtlasDates: Single posters thread. One poster put up a tinder bio which I thought would be fun to emulate. I populated it with items from my life suitably enhanced yet without falsehood.

I'm not single, but I'm amused by the style of Tim's bio. I thought perhaps I could adapt it if I ever needed one like that :

I am a dynamic figure, and have been seen comfortably chatting with US Senators and Nobel Prize winners. While in a state capital, I successfully negotiated a bipartisan agreement for the expansion of voting rights. I've done operations inside the old Soviet Union for expenses only.

Media outlets worldwide report on my presence in their communities. Years ago I discovered one of the fundamental particles of the universe and the article has been cited over 1000 times. I am a public figure, yet I anonymously moderate an internet forum.

I balance, I think, I chat, I travel, and my retirement funds are secure.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

This topic or something like it comes up every couple of years. So why not post my Sep 2019 repost of a  Sep 2017 post in Sep this year?

Woah - Labor Day ends summer and everyone immediately turns their focus on developing next year's offspring. Incredible creatures, these homo sapiens. Even the maps can't disrupt the natural process.

[Lechasseur]

I hate myself, so I've always found it difficult to make one of these on real dating sites. If I did make one it would probably be nothing but me pointing out things that my prospective date would need to prepare herself for. But I kind of hate the concept of online dating anyway, so it's not the biggest deal in the world.

But to hell with it, I'll try one here attempting to be as positive as possible:

Single white male seeking just about any woman who would want to watch bad movies with him and put up with a dry, self-deprecating sense of humor and idiosyncratic borderline obsessions with novelty candy and soda, exotic fruit, and pigs.

I'm a real catch, aren't I?

Look, if your purpose was to get attention by making yourself seem pathetic, I suppose you did a fairly good job of that. The idea that this is "as positive as possible" is an obvious lie, though, whether you believe it or not.

I dislike dating apps and think that they are basically bad for society, but I understand that now most people have few other options and I have known some success stories. Sometimes I find myself in a position to comment on the profiles of friends of mine who are interested in women. The first thing I always tell them is to find a woman they trust and have her make whatever changes she sees fit, but most of them don't have anyone to do that for them, which is why they're discussing it with me in the first place. For that case, I do have advice, which maybe some of the young people on this site can use.

The single biggest issue that men make in their profiles is to be too self-deprecating. My sense is that this is because men are unaccustomed to thinking about being perceived in the way that dating apps require, and self-deprecation is a coping device to ease the tension. Anyway, self-deprecation works with people who know you because they know you and already know your positive qualities and when you're being ironic. Somebody who has never met you and knows nothing about you doesn't know what you're being ironic about, and when they have hundreds of profiles to swipe through it's not worth their while to find out. Humility and modesty are great personal qualities that you can show that you have later; they are absolutely not qualities that you can introduce yourself with. Your profile needs to set out what your positive qualities actually are, and if your positive qualities aren't in what your face looks like then you'll need to use your words to do it.

Alright, take it easy. Jeez! This was indeed ironic. And I have no intention of ever using it as a real means of meeting dates online, here or anywhere else...and especially here. As I said, I don't like online dating and probably will never engage in it anyway.

Though it is true that I enjoy bad movies, candy, pigs, and soda.

It's not as bad as I thought it would be, and I'm actually getting a bit of luck on it, but I agree all things equal I'd rather meet people in real life situations.

I only started it because I'm not currently in a situation where I can meet many people outside of work (as I'd imagine many people are). But without Covid, I probably wouldn't have tried it.

One thing I will say is as an average guy, you need to have a lot of patience. It's not doing a few swpies one evening that's going to get you anywhere. You need to do it quite a bit.

And also which apps you use will make a big difference too. For example the only one I've gotten anywhere on is Bumble, and it does seem to have the highest quality people as well.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

This topic or something like it comes up every couple of years. So why not post my Sep 2019 repost of a  Sep 2017 post in Sep this year?

Woah - Labor Day ends summer and everyone immediately turns their focus on developing next year's offspring. Incredible creatures, these homo sapiens. Even the maps can't disrupt the natural process.

*mapiens

[Kleine Scheiße]

Name: Ralph Ralphberg

Sex: Yes, please!!!

Age:

Lives in: North Carolina

State/Province of Residence: Raleigh

Languages: English, some Spanish

Birthday: July 12th

Favorite Color: I don't really have one, but purple is pretty awesome, and I'm sure I'll get the chance to wear it eventually.

Favorite Movie(s): Almost anything.

Favorite TV Show(s): Pretty much anything...

Other Interests: Playing Magic: the Gathering. I don't have a favorite deck though; I just want to see you build one that makes my opponent feel like they're dying.

About Me: I'm a student at Duke University, I'm a software engineer and I'm into pretty much anything a nerd is into (except for the internet, though). I love to try new foods, drink, and listen to music. In my free time I like to watch movies, cook and occasionally try new hobbies. I don't really have hobbies though, I'm really picky

[Badger]

Cereal without milk isn't terrible.

 Yes, but with milk it's a yucky soggy mushy disgusting mess. Hated it since I was a kid

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Cereal without milk isn't terrible.

 Yes, but with milk it's a yucky soggy mushy disgusting mess. Hated it since I was a kid

Basically what happens when you introduce milk is that to some degree, flavor is transferred from the cereal to the milk. That's not everyone's cup of tea.

[Badger]

I hate myself, so I've always found it difficult to make one of these on real dating sites. If I did make one it would probably be nothing but me pointing out things that my prospective date would need to prepare herself for. But I kind of hate the concept of online dating anyway, so it's not the biggest deal in the world.

But to hell with it, I'll try one here attempting to be as positive as possible:

Single white male seeking just about any woman who would want to watch bad movies with him and put up with a dry, self-deprecating sense of humor and idiosyncratic borderline obsessions with novelty candy and soda, exotic fruit, and pigs.

I'm a real catch, aren't I?

Look, if your purpose was to get attention by making yourself seem pathetic, I suppose you did a fairly good job of that. The idea that this is "as positive as possible" is an obvious lie, though, whether you believe it or not.

I dislike dating apps and think that they are basically bad for society, but I understand that now most people have few other options and I have known some success stories. Sometimes I find myself in a position to comment on the profiles of friends of mine who are interested in women. The first thing I always tell them is to find a woman they trust and have her make whatever changes she sees fit, but most of them don't have anyone to do that for them, which is why they're discussing it with me in the first place. For that case, I do have advice, which maybe some of the young people on this site can use.

The single biggest issue that men make in their profiles is to be too self-deprecating. My sense is that this is because men are unaccustomed to thinking about being perceived in the way that dating apps require, and self-deprecation is a coping device to ease the tension. Anyway, self-deprecation works with people who know you because they know you and already know your positive qualities and when you're being ironic. Somebody who has never met you and knows nothing about you doesn't know what you're being ironic about, and when they have hundreds of profiles to swipe through it's not worth their while to find out. Humility and modesty are great personal qualities that you can show that you have later; they are absolutely not qualities that you can introduce yourself with. Your profile needs to set out what your positive qualities actually are, and if your positive qualities aren't in what your face looks like then you'll need to use your words to do it.

So apparently you think girls really dig scolds?