Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself
omegascarlet
Junior Chimp
Posts: 7,104
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« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2017, 08:22:51 PM » |
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Actually posting the story on atlas itself.
Marxist story
Yesterday evening I took a flight in my private gold jet. I was eating my delicious but humble Hamburger à la truffe et au foie gras, garni de flocons d'or, (truffles and foie gras burger, topped with gold flakes), when I saw something outrageous. A poor person, eating a package of Ramen noodles. Yes, you heard that right. Ramen. I was obviously outraged at someone showing such horrific opulence. She even had clothes. Not just rags, but a ratty sweater and hole-filled jeans. They looked almost comfortable.
I wasn’t about to just sit there and let such atrocities stand, so I called the nearest runway, bought a limo nearby(there weren’t any rentals available), had my servants freshen me up and change me into my finest tux, and drove to face her. When I arrived, I called out to her from the limo’s driver seat. “Hey you. You elitist b***h.”
She responded with “What?”
“Yeah you. You opulent piece of sh**. How about not living lavishly while people like me struggle hard to make a living.” A servant shined my shoes as I got out of the limo.
"What are you even talking about. You just came out of a f**king limo.”
Yes. She said that. Not only did she refuse to admit her horrific opulence, she called me rich. She continued “How the hell am I rich. This thing of Ramen is my only dinner. I work a minimum wage job at walmart and I barely have the money to pay the rent. I have no healthcare, no phone, my apartment can barely be called ‘housing’, and I have to walk an hour both ways to work because the city bus costs too much!”
How mad I was after that. I wouldn’t stand for it. So I told her “Do you have any idea what it’s like to live on an ordinary americans income! Just last month I had to sell my Platinum jet for a golden one, and I can barely even afford that. My mansion only has 30 rooms. I can only afford to eat 5 stars six days out of seven. Tax evasion is getting harder by the day, and I don’t even have the money to afford a laser cannon! Ivory Tower elitists like you don’t know what hard work or struggle is. Maybe try picturing a day in my shoes for once!”
After that, the lavish woman just stared at me. After about a minute of stunned silence, she said “um, what? What the? HOW THE F**K ARE YOU STRUGGLING. IS THIS SOME SORT OF A JOKE!”.
Other people naturally noticed this b***h shouting loud enough to shatter eardrums, so they came over. I explained the situation to them, but it didn’t go well. I should have suspected that the others in a place like this would be just like the first. They all told me
“Oh, off.”
“Are you kidding me!”
“You haven’t struggled a day in your life, have you?”
“Who are you”, “You came here in a Limo, dude”
“Get out”
and other such horrible phrases. So I called the police to have them arrested for libel, bullying, harassment, and verbal assault. They came quickly and did their jobs, but they didn’t rough up the harassers like they should. And you know the biggest injustice? When all was said and done, half of those arrested never got jail time. Of those who did, only a quarter received more than a year. Yup, it’s hard being a poor middle class american like me.
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