when does 'I have a kid' cease to be a total dealbreaker when picking women?

[© tweed]

I'm about to be 22, and the idea of entering into anything mutual with a woman who has a child -- custody or not -- is so repulsive there are only a handful, for which I'd even consider listening to the next sentence.  however, we age, life gets tougher, choices narrow.  at 30, 32, 36, everything else that will go wrong between now and then, at some point it is no longer change-the-channel territory.  when does this occur, and what is it like?

[© tweed]

ps is this just an extension of the flipside of virginity fetishization?

[opebo]

Well, I don't know about this 'picking' a woman.. I mean, that is how it works for what I'm doing, but I didn't know it was precisely like 'picking' for what you're doing...

But for myself, yeah, I can say I don't have any regulars who have reproduced.  I don't categorically reject those with the burst seed-pod, but as a general rule, they're not my cup of tea.

[Joe Biden 2020]

At 6 months from age 31, you have to take what you can get.  Most of my lady friends have anywhere between 1-4 kids, been married for upwards of 10 years or more, or have been divorced once or twice.

[Eraserhead]

At 6 months from age 31, you have to take what you can get.  Most of my lady friends have anywhere between 1-4 kids, been married for upwards of 10 years or more, or have been divorced once or twice.

God damn, Oklahoma is a horrible place.

[dead0man]

Being a step parent is weird.  Dating a woman with kids is less weird, but can still be weird.  And I like kids.  Unless you are looking to raise some kids that aren't yours, I'd move on.  22 is way...WAY to young to need to "settle".  If you don't want to deal with kids right now (and who the hell would blame you?), don't.  If you're still fishing in your late 20s (or mid 30s or whatever) you might have to relax some of your standards, but you shouldn't have to at 22.

I just reread the OP and realize that's not what he's asking.....the answer is "it depends".  It will be different for everybody.  I've got a single buddy in his 50s and he is having a ball playing the field (he was married twice earlier in life).  There is a point in your mid 30s where finding a single lady without kids of varying ages is nearly impossible.  I'm not saying there aren't single women without kids, but they are rare, often crazy or have some other really good reason to not have had kids by now.  If I were to somehow become single again, I'd try to avoid kids, especially young kids, but as someone pushing 40 it would be limiting to make it a hard and fast rule.

[Hatman 🍁]

Never, I'd hope. Depends on the kid though.