The Failed Experiment of Young America
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Author Topic: The Failed Experiment of Young America  (Read 1203 times)
Mechaman
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« on: September 07, 2009, 04:58:53 PM »

Hello class, this is your professor Hans Mechanius. This subject you are enrolled in is a very unique subject unlike any other History subject you have studied before. There have been many societies that have risen to their fullest potential only to crumble on their own flaws. Never in the history of mankind has this been such a strong case than in the case of the United States of America that existed between 1775-1813 AD. The founders of that great land envisioned a country of liberal democracy and freedom for all men who sought to escape the oppression of State and of God yet in their mission to do so they only revealed the flaws of their own character, specifically the need for a civil and ordered society set forth the legislations and policies that sped up the inevitable demise of their experiment in Democracy. There have been many questions asked about this long past society, but the one that always grips we historians the most is that most fundamental of all questions: How? How did a nation with such bright potential so suddenly crashed headlong into the worst vices of anarchy and chaos? My students, in this course we will examine this important question as we examine the history of America, it's downfall, and the effect that this Great Experiment has had on us all around the world. So let me begin at the very beginning:

The American Revolution!
Yes the American Revolution the first in many a struggle against the forces of oligarchy and tyranny. The people of Young America would be the first ever to throw off the yoke of Old World Imperialism and pursue the concept of a Democratic Republic that best represents the will of all men. Ironically this did not include those called slaves who were on the same level of a piece of furniture in terms of human rights. As sad as this fact is for me to divulge, I nevertheless believe that the American Experiment was pure in it's purpose as the starting point for a world that would swear off the priniciples of rule by Royalty Blood and obedience to their Oligarchy as well as the Freedom of Man From God, an irony considering that a good lot of the American Founders were men of strong religious virtue. Anyway where was I?

Oh yes the American Revolution! One of my favorite events in the history of the world. I believe it was in 1775 when the colonists of British America first declared themselves above the laws imposed by the Oligarchs to levy taxes without representation. As the colonists grew more discontent, the British grew more repressive. Eventually an all out colonial civil war would occur amongst the 13 colonies that would last for years until 1783. Although the British outnumbered the Americans 5 to one in manpower as well as an advantage in war technology the Americans still forced them out of their colonies and were granted their own national sovereignty to help propel the Age of Freedmen and Universal Liberty. It is written on this document, the Declaration of Independence that "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness"-Thomas Jefferson. Never before had such words caused such a groundswell of the political status quo of any time!

I know many of you are in this course simply for the History credit and you might've been told this is a sleeper course, but damnit you will learn something! I want you to come everyday this class is in session to fill that head with my insatiable knowledge! Many say that studying American History is pointless because it is the history of a dead culture, yet I could say the same for Latin! The impact that the United States have had on world history is perhaps as grand, if not grander, than the impact of the Greeks and Romans on our own local history! But I know that today is the first day of class and most if not all of you want to go out and enjoy the cool mountain breeze of these fine Alps, so CLASS DISMISSED!!!
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Хahar 🤔
Xahar
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« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2009, 05:16:08 PM »

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Psychic Octopus
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« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2009, 07:44:09 PM »

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Mechaman
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« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2009, 09:10:17 PM »
« Edited: September 24, 2009, 09:12:57 PM by Mechman »

Hello again class! Sorry for arriving late today, traffic was a mess.

Anyway where did we leave off last time? Oh yes the American Revolution! If you have taken Colonial History that should've been the last thing you learned in that class.

Now before we begin to talk about the actual United States of America, let us talk about the Confederation of American States, the entity that immediately preceded the United States of America.

The Confederation of American States

Formed in 1781 by the Continental Congress in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the Confederation of the American States was based on the Articles of Confederation, a document that would establish in everything but name, 13 different sovereign states each with full control over their own infrastructure, economy, and military forces. During the war these states stood united before the tyrannical British armies and with the help of the French and the mostly Spanish pirate fleet of Italian Christoph Beliose. Christoph Beliose was an interesting character of his time I tell you class, he had an infamous appetite for rum and exotic adolescents girls (subtle grin). Yes, Beliose was considered a flat out libertine good students. Many of his crew's accounts would speak of him drinking away half the ship's rum in only a few weeks or and him taking girls around the age of 13 by the couple to his quarters. If Beliose had been alive today the only thing he would be the captain of is a jail cell and the only person who he'd be taking to his bunk would be a wimpy wrist fellow he'd refer to as "Betty".

Sorry for going off topic class, I just find this Christoph Beliose to be a very interesting character, even more interesting is the fact that early religious America would feel alright allying themselves with a man of such moralless libertine nature. Then again, considering the sway the immortal Thomas Jefferson had with early American government, this shouldn't come as a surprise.

Which brings up another point, the assention of Thomas Jefferson to President of the Contiental Congress instead of trying to win the post of Governor of Virginia which his good friend Patrick Henry would be appointed to. Thomas Jefferson would encourage a less religious approach to the framework of the Article of Confederation. Thomas Jefferson would end up being the longest sitting President of the Congress, heading the Continental Congress from August 1780 until it's dissolution in March of 1781 and then being appointed the President of the Confederate Congress from June of 1781 until April of 1785. Many attribute Jefferson's long reign as President of Congress due to his phenomenal ability to broker compromise with all sides.

Jefferson's personal life however, was strife with controversy. He had a quite the drinking problem and was quite prolific in his sexual exploits. Despite his infidelity, he and his wife Martha Wayles Skelton Jefferson were quite close. She would often write in her journal that Thomas had an insatiable carnal drive, he is never satisfied, thus justifying his sexual infidelity. Later as the sciences of the human mind became more knowledged would it be revealed that Thomas Jefferson had a sex addiction.

Anyway the Confederation of States would prove to be a disasterous experiment, as the lack of cooperation between the states would lead to a shortage of funding and a weak national defense against piracy. Ironically, the states of America would inevitably bear more in common with the Confederation of States after 1813 than it ever will with the so-called "United States" of America. The breaking point would be the pirate invasion of Cape Cod in June of 1786 that would be the breaking point, as well as pirates taking advantage of American merchant ships in the Mediterranean.

Class, as entertaining as this portion of early American History may be to all of you (laughs), keep in mind that it will go by very quickly and be sure to study the test material for the first test is just within the next two weeks or so. Please bear in mind that the schedule is subject to change at my discretion. Also, I am arranging a pre-test party the night before the test, yes you can all laugh now, but a night of sniffing crank and swigging Romulan Ale should relax your nerves for the test. Keep in mind that it will be open book and open note. If I was anymore lenient I would give you the answer sheet. Anyway it is way too soon for me to be talking about this, but I just wanted to give everyone a heads up about the events on the syllabus. Also, I'm having a special "study session" tonight at my house, all of you are welcome to stay the night at my house provided you don't steal any of my Caribbean Rum. Also, I would greatly appreciate it if some of you brought your own drinks and "medications" to the session. If any of you have any friends or little sisters you want to invite, please do. And since this is the weekend you can stay until Monday morning if you'd like. Be excellent to each other and party on dudes!
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